Macey
I AWOKE FEELING protected and warm, and realized why as I opened my eyes. I was sprawled on top of Dallas, him on his back, me covering most of his body. I had a hand under his T-shirt, flat against his chest, and he had an arm wrapped firmly around my waist keeping me close.
I licked my lips as I studied his sleeping face. The man really was gorgeous. I’d never seen anyone better looking and wondered if I’d ever get over him.
He smiled, his eyes still closed. “Are you going to stare at me all morning?”
I thrummed my fingers on his chest. “Maybe.”
Dallas opened his eyes and leaned forward to kiss my forehead. “God, baby, you’re gorgeous in the morning. Actually, you’re gorgeous all the time, but in the morning, especially.”
I frowned.
“Why are you frowning?” he challenged. “I just told you, you were beautiful.”
“Scarface, you mean.”
“Macey.” Dallas scowled. “Never say that again.”
“Why not? It’s true.”
“It’s not even close to true,” he said. “You can’t even see them anymore.”
“I can.”
He ran his finger gently across my face. I winced, but he didn’t pull back. “You have a few battle lines on your body that you should consider a badge of honor. You survived something horrific and you’ve come out the other side and that fact only makes you more beautiful.”
“Dallas,” I whispered, blinking back tears. “Why haven’t you found a nice girl to marry and settle down with?”
“Because none of them are you.”
“You are such a silly man,” I said with a sigh.
“In love with a silly woman,” he retorted.
“Can you be serious for even a second?”
“I am being serious, Mace, and I’ve made a decision.”
“Oh?” I asked.
“You and I are gonna try again.”
I pushed off of him and sat up, shaking my head. “No.”
“Yes.”
Sliding from the bed, I faced him. “Absolutely not.”
He grinned. “Why not?”
“Because I’m damaged goods, Dallas. You deserve better than a used up, ugly, and bitter woman.”
“Macey Jean Gilbert!” Dallas scowled as he knifed off the bed, walking around to my side. He sat down on the edge and pulled me between his legs. “Never say anything like that about yourself again. Hear me?”
“Dallas—”
“Do. You. Hear. Me?”
“But it’s true,” I whispered.
“It’s not true.” He squeezed my hands. “God, Mace! When did you become such a sad sack?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Honey, I’m sitting here telling you how much I love you and how beautiful you are, and you’re kind of acting like a spoiled little brat.”
“I’m just speaking the truth.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Did you keep my voicemails?” he asked.
“What?”
“Did you keep my voicemails?”
I bit my lip. “Some of them.”
“Some of them?” he challenged.
“Shut up, Dallas, you don’t know me.”
He chuckled. “You kept all of them, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“For the same reasons I called your phone twice a day. I needed to hear your voice. Remind myself that you loved me.” Dallas smiled gently. “So, we’re gonna make this work.”
I sighed. “Dallas, if we try again, it won’t be a real relationship.”
“How so?”
“Because we won’t have sex! Ever. I can’t. The thought of being touched in any way makes me crazy.” Tears slipped down my cheeks. “It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
“Mace.” He smiled as he thumbed the wetness away. “What happened last night?”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I touched you.”
“You did not.” I sniffed. “Not really.”
“Ah, yeah, I did. You slept in my arms all night.”
“So?”
“So, when’s the last time you slept through the night?” He raised an eyebrow. “Or let me hold you for more than five minutes, let alone eight hours?”
I bit my lip, but didn’t answer.
“Exactly,” he said. “You’re healing, Mace. You might not feel like you are, but things are changing.”
I dropped my head. “I can’t do this to you.”
“Do what to me?”
“Saddle you with a broken, sexless relationship.”
He lifted my chin. “Mace, we’re not broken. A little bent, maybe, but we have a solid foundation with a kick-ass friendship that started when we were kids.”
“I can’t make you abstain from sex,” I whispered.
“Baby, I’ve been abstaining from sex since our night together two years ago.” He smiled. “At least sex with someone other than myself.”
“What?”
He frowned. “You actually thought after having and losing you that I’d go trollin’ for someone else?”
“We only slept together once, Dallas. I would have understood.”
He waggled his eyebrows. “It might have been one night, baby, but it was a hell of a lot more than once.”
“Yes, yes, your prowess is unmatched,” I droned.
“Are you saying I’m that easy to forget?”
“What? No! I just figured you love it so much that you’d need it.”
“Fuck me, babe. What kind of man do you think I am?”
“I don’t understand.”
“Obviously,” he said. “Mace, you and I made a commitment. I have never wavered from that commitment.”
“I don’t think you can classify it as a commitment,” I countered. “We’d been together officially for less than a week before… well, before the incident.”
“So?” He smiled. “Look, you’re the one who retreated, for very valid reasons, but I love you, Macey. I’ve always loved you. Just because that piece of shit scumbag stole something from you, it didn’t change that.”
“I told you to move on.”
“And I didn’t listen,” he retorted. “Yes, I love sex. But I only love it with you. With anyone else, it’s simply been a way to get off. With you, it’s making love. I’ve never made love to anyone else before.”
I bit back tears. “Are you being serious right now?”
“You think I’m joking?”
I shook my head. “I just don’t want you to waste your time on something that I can’t ever give you.”
“Who says?”
“Dallas.”
“No, Mace. We’re gonna do this. I’m all in, baby. We’ll go slow, and you’ll tell me if it’s too much, yeah?”
I blinked back tears. “I don’t know.”
“Why?”
“Because you scare me.”
“How do I scare you, honey?”
“Because I still love you, and I’m afraid that I’ll let you in again and you’ll resent me for what I can’t give you.”
He grinned. “And there it is.”
I took a deep breath. I’d never verbalized that before. I’d thought it more than once, but never said it out loud. “Don’t go getting all smug. You’re not that smart, Dallas Stone.”
“No, you’re right. I’m a fuckin’ genius.”
I settled my hands on his shoulders and grimaced. “Can I think about it?”
“Nope.”
“What? Why not?”
“Because we’ve wasted years, Mace. If we’d been married, we would have worked on this together, but we weren’t, and I stupidly gave you space when I should have closed ranks around you.” He gave me a sad, gentle smile. “You know I was going to propose.”
“What?” I squeaked.
“At Multnomah Falls. I had it all planned. Cheesy as this might sound, I had umbrellas at the ready, our friends were going to hike up to the bridge and open them to reveal, ‘Will you marry me?’ and I was gonna get down on one knee. The whole deal.”
“You were?”
He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and squeezed. “I was. I still have the ring and I’m gonna do it again. Just gotta figure out something spectacular.”
I did a faceplant into his chest. “Ohmigod.”
He kissed my hair. “We were both dealing with something that neither of us should have had to, but you and me, we’re gonna work on it together, because you and me are forever, Mace.”
I glanced up at him. “Dallas—”
“Macey, you love me.” Dallas smiled.
“Yes, but—”
“Do you love anyone else?” he asked.
“No, but—”
“It’s settled then.” He slid his feet to the floor, stood, and headed into my bathroom.
“Dallas,” I snapped, stomping my foot. “Stop talking over me!”
“Made my decision, Mace,” he called back.
I heard the toilet seat clank as he lifted it, and I flopped back onto my bed. When I heard him wash his hands, I turned my neck as he left the bathroom and walked back to the bed. He leaned over me and I immediately shifted and held my hands up as panic set in.
“You okay?” he asked.
“He. That’s how he…”
“Oh, babe, I’m sorry,” he said, shifting to lie beside me.
“No. I’m sorry.” Heat crawled up my neck as I covered my face with my hands. “See? This is why it will never work.”
“It will work, baby.” He gently pulled my arms down, releasing me instantly. “I won’t ever do that again. Okay? We’ll figure it out together.”
“I’m so irrational,” I complained. “It’s not like I think you’d ever rape me, Dallas, but with you over me like that, it just brought back memories. It’s stupid.”
“Look at me.” He waited until I did. “It’s not irrational or stupid. It’s how you feel, and we’ll work on those feelings as they come.”
“There are a lot of feelings, Dallas… and they come more than I like.”
“You’re not scaring me away.”
“Well, I’m not really trying. Give me a few days, you’ll run for the hills.”
“Not gonna happen.” He slid off the bed.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Bring it on,” he said, and grinned. Before he could say anything further, the central heating kicked on and my door opened seemingly on its own.
I squeaked and tried to push away from him.
He gave me a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay, Mace. No one’s here. The door’s broken.”
“Um, why is the door broken?” I asked, and stood to investigate.
“You locked it.”
“I know I locked it, Dallas. I lock it every night. What I want to know is why it’s broken.”
He shrugged. “I had to kick it in.”
I sat back on the edge of the mattress and dropped my face in my hands. “Our landlord’s gonna kill us.”
“No, he won’t. I’ll fix it before anyone even sees it.” He lifted my chin. “Now, go get dressed and I’ll make breakfast.”
I perked up. “Waffles?”
“Best waffles ever?”
“Hands down, best waffles ever,” I said.
He chuckled. “If you’d like my world-famous waffles, I’ll make my world-famous waffles.”
“I’d like your world-famous waffles… please.”
“You got it.” He smiled and leaned forward so we were face-to-face. “I love you.”
I studied him for a few seconds and then smiled. “I love you, too.”
“I’m gonna kiss you now.”
I licked my lips. “Okay.”
He touched his mouth to mine and gave me the sweetest kiss I’d had in a very long time.
“Best kisser ever,” I whispered.
“Back at ya.” He stroked my cheek and broke our connection, smiling. “Missed that, baby.”
I nodded. “Me too.”
“Good start.”
“Very good start.”
He grinned. “Meet you in the kitchen.”
I watched him walk out and then headed to the bathroom, my fingers on my lips. I didn’t think I’d ever have this feeling again. I felt light-headed and gooey, and, dare I say, a little horny. With one kiss, Dallas had erased a little bit of the panic and fear, and with just a few words, made me feel cherished and not so broken. I grinned as I cleaned my teeth and brushed my hair.
Arriving in the main room, I found Payton sitting at the kitchen island, her hands wrapped around one of our largest coffee mugs while she stared out at the water. She caught sight of me and let out an excited squeak, setting her mug down and jumping off the stool.
“You’re back together!” she exclaimed, and pulled me in for a hug.
I raised an eyebrow at Dallas manning the waffle iron and he grinned with a nod. “She beat it out of me.”
“Right,” I said. “What time did you get in?”
“Two,” Payton said, and dragged me to the island. “Now, spill. I want details.”
“Coffee,” I said.
“I’ll get it,” Dallas offered, and grabbed me a mug.
“So,” Payton pressed.
“I don’t really know what to tell you,” I admitted as I sat on the stool next to Payton.
“We had a come to Jesus meeting,” Dallas said. “We’ve wasted too much time trying to give each other space, so we’re gonna work on sorting our shit out together.”
I rolled my eyes. “Sure, let’s go with that.”
“Halle-frickin’-lujah,” Payton said. “Have you told my brother?”
“Babe, it just happened,” Dallas said, in mock exasperation.
Payton giggled. “Right.”
Dallas set waffles in front of us and then pulled heated syrup from the microwave.
“Thanks,” we said in unison.
The doorbell rang and Payton grinned. “Speak of the devil,” she said as she jumped up to answer the door. “That’ll be Brock.”
I sipped my coffee and smiled at Dallas. He smiled back and then poured batter onto the iron. I turned when I heard Brock’s voice, standing as he and Bailey walked inside.
“Got room for a couple of free-loaders?” Brock asked.
Bailey giggled and closed the distance between us to give me a hug. “Hi.”
“Good morning,” I said.
Brock and Bailey were newlyweds and it showed. They were rarely out of each other’s sight. Bailey was blonde with porcelain skin so fair, she should model. She was petite with curves, and next to Brock’s height and lean, muscular build, they were a stunning couple.
“Tell them, tell them,” Payton said, clapping her hands.
“Tell us what?” Brock asked as he smiled at me instead of hugging me. He headed to the kitchen to grab coffee and slapped Dallas on the shoulder.
“They’re back together,” Payton squealed.
“Come again?” Brock said.
“They’re gonna work their shit out together,” Payton repeated. “Isn’t that awesome?”
Bailey nodded. “Ah, yeah. That’s awesome.”
I glanced at Brock, noticed his careful perusal of me, and smiled.
“You good, Mace?” he asked.
“I’m good, Brockaby.”
“Okay then,” he said, and handed Bailey a cup of coffee. “I want two waffles. Bailey, sweetheart, how many do you want? Four?”
Bailey giggled. “One will be more than enough, thank you.”
“We have berries in the freezer,” I said, and stood.
“Sit your butt down,” Dallas said. “Brock and I’ll take care of it.”
“How’d I get roped into this?” Brock asked.
“You showed up expecting to be fed.”
Brock laughed. “Fair enough.”
“Let’s move to the table, huh?” I suggested, and slid from my stool at the island to our larger dining table.
* * *
Dallas
In the kitchen, I glanced at Brock. “What?”
“Macey’s good?” Brock asked.
“She’s perfect,” I said. “I’m the dick who waited too long.”
Brock shook his head. “You were trying to give her space.”
I grunted my response.
Brock chuckled.
“So, you’re here early,” I said. “You got something?”
“Yeah,” Brock said. “He’s back.”
“Highland guy?”
Brock nodded.
“Damn it.” I turned to look at Macey, smiled when she caught my eye, and then focused back on the waffles. “When?”
“Two nights ago. Seattle.”
“Wait.” I frowned. “He disappeared after Vancouver… has he really not hit anywhere else in two years?”
Brock rubbed his forehead. “Honestly, brother? I think the Vancouver hit two years ago was a copycat.”
“Why do you think that?”
“We got DNA.”
“Shit,” I said.
“Yeah. The Highland guy leaves nothing.”
“Except the hickey.”
“Yeah, the hickey, but he cleans it off with bleach,” he said. “Sicko.”
“Definitely.”
“But no one knows that part of the crime. It’s sealed. Not even local cops are privy to it. Only the higher ups,” Brock said. “And the new rape has the hickey, no DNA, and the way he knotted the victim’s hands together was left-handed.”
“Yeah, not the same as two years ago.”
“No.” Brock sipped his coffee.
“Where’s he been?”
“No clue,” Brock said. “He just disappeared off the radar for a time.”
“What does Matt say?” I asked.
Matthew Quinn was the FBI assistant director, boss to a team of eight, including Brock and me, and he also happened to be Jaxon’s brother.
“That we need to be ready.” Brock shook his head. “No reports down the way yet, but he hit Seattle and then Olympia, so local PD and field offices are on alert.”
“Fucking bastard.” I scowled. “I hate to say it, but it would have been easier if it had been him. At least I’d know he was dead.”
Brock frowned. “I know what you mean. Bailey’s not too happy with me right now. I won’t let her go anywhere alone.”
“You’ve never really let her go anywhere alone,” I pointed out.
“True.” Brock sighed. “I think the girls should take that course Portland’s offering.”
“The self-defense one?”
“Yeah.”
I nodded. “It’s not a bad idea. Mace took one right after her attack, but it might be a good idea for her to brush up.”
“I’ll talk to them,” Brock said.
“Good luck.”
“Oh, you’re gonna help.”
I grinned. “Am I?”
“What are you two conspiring about?” Payton called.
“I’m going in,” Brock said, and left the kitchen.
“What are you two conspiring about?” Bailey asked, and raised her head for a kiss.
Brock smiled, kissing her quickly before sitting beside her. “Portland’s offering self-defense classes starting next week, and Dallas and I are teaching a couple of them.”
“Ah, hold up there, brother,” I said as I set waffles on the table. “You didn’t mention that.”
“I didn’t? Weird.” Brock grinned. “Ah, Dal, Matt nominated us to teach a couple self-defense classes starting next week. Jaxon got roped in too.”
“Sneaky bastard.”
“Anyway, we want you three to take them. They’re looking for feedback on whether or not women think the classes are beneficial.”
I watched Macey closely. She seemed okay. Her posture didn’t change, her breathing stayed steady, but I couldn’t see her eyes since she was staring at her plate. I laid a hand on her shoulder. “Mace, babe? What do you think?”
She raised her head and smiled. “Will I get to beat you up?”
“I can make that happen if it’s a requirement,” Brock promised.
“I’m in, then,” she said, and giggled.
I laughed and leaned down to kiss her. “Better make it count, baby.”
She stroked my cheek. “You can bet on it.”
I sat beside her and settled my arm behind her chair, running my fingers through her tresses as she forked a waffle onto each of our plates. I couldn’t wipe the perma-grin from my face as my life-long friends sat around the dining room table and shot the breeze while enjoying breakfast. It had been a long time coming. Too long.