Kate
Friday night in downtown Manhattan is usually a lively scene. SoHo is no exception. The streets around me are bustling. The sidewalks are packed. I can barely squeeze through the streets without bumping elbows with a passerby. Cars squeak slowly by. Exhaust fumes emit heat and sulfurous scents into the air. I have to intermittently hold my breath. Impatient drivers take turns blasting their horns in hopes somehow it’ll propel their cars forward even if it’s just another foot. For some reason, the constant noise brings a smile to my face. The liveliness of the city is what made me fall in love. This is my home. This is where I belong.
It’s been just over a year since I returned home from Italy. I still have nightmares quite often. They tend to wake me from a dead sleep. My sheets are always wet from sweat, and my heart pounds uncontrollably as though it’s going to jump out of my chest and do a drum roll. It’s unsettling, and I’d do just about anything to get them to go away. The only comforting thing about the nightmare is Tony is always there to rub my back and make the panic melt away.
I’m so lucky to have him. Every time I think about Tony, my heart goes pitter-patter like a little school girl. I literally swoon over him. When we make eye contact, sparks ignite my heart and send it racing until I think I’m going to pass out. Sometimes I tell myself to dial it back a little bit so he doesn’t think I’m a complete idiot. I lost the last man I loved by being complacent and comfortable with our relationship. I don’t ever want to take a day with Tony for granted.
As I continue to walk down the street, a man runs into me. I jolt forward as he tries to pass. This happens frequently when traveling down packed roads, but it’s something I can’t get used to anymore. I clutch my hand over my chest, stop walking, and take a minute to catch my breath. Any sudden jostle reminds me of when I was kidnapped from the rental car Tony was driving.
I remember sitting in the passenger seat reviewing the pictures I had taken in Rome. Even though Tony and I were running from the cartel, I didn’t feel as though I were in any danger. I’m not sure why. Perhaps it was because they were the unknown. Maybe it was because we were in the country and it didn’t seem like there was any harm, let alone anyone who would kidnap me. I felt comfortable and safe. Never once did I think not to roll down the window for the man who knocked on it. I honestly thought he was asking for directions, or perhaps some spare change. Did it make me naïve or an idiot? I don’t know. Either way, it was probably one of the worst mistakes in my life.
As soon as I rolled down the window, the short balding man reached in, opened the door, and had a piece of duct tape over my mouth before I even had a chance to process what was going on, let alone scream for help. Tony hadn’t made it out of the market of the petrol station yet. I tried to fight. I punched the bastard in the nose. That was the only hit I got. Within seconds he had handcuffs binding both of my wrists. Any chance of using my arms to free myself no longer existed.
He carried me to a gray sedan. I think it was a Peugeot. The trunk was already open and waiting. This was my last chance to get free. The moment he got me into the empty cavern I would have no chance at freedom. I began kicking, each blow forceful and desperate. Like a prisoner with the jail door slowly closing in front of him, my freedom was slipping away faster than I could get loose. The man struggled slightly while taking the last few steps to the car. He dropped me into the trunk effortlessly. I continued to kick, hoping by some miracle I could get free. Maybe I could jump out and get somebody’s attention. I thrashed and pressed my legs against the trunk door. I saw the fist coming as fast as a bullet from a gun. I yanked on my hands by instinct in an attempt to block the impending blow. Stupid me. Pain surged through my face. My head slammed to the side from the jarring force. My eyes rolled into the back of my head, and before I knew it, my world was dark.
I’m not sure how long I was in the car. It could’ve been hours or just a few minutes. It didn’t matter. It was too long. The darkness and lack of air in the trunk was suffocating and is something I’ll never get over. Thanks to that little stunt, I’ve developed a nice case of claustrophobia. If I weren’t a basket case before, I certainly am now.
I press myself against the side of the building, waiting for my pounding heart and rapid breathing to return to normal. The cool cement against my back is a nice reprieve from the sweltering summer heat. July in New York City is oftentimes unbearable. The combination of the humidity and the heat can be stifling.
Once I’ve calmed my nerves a bit, I start walking again. I force myself to do this every day instead of taking a cab. It would be easier to drive and run away from the fears and the unknown in the streets. I constantly remind myself that I could be abducted at any minute. It’s fair to say I live in fear. Some days it’s better than others, but I don’t ever think I’ll be back to where I was before. I’m a changed woman. I’m stronger and more confident, but I constantly have my guard up. I’ve even spent months taking self-defense classes. I’m doing everything I can to ensure what happened in Italy, never occurs to me again. Once was enough for this lifetime; thank you very much.
I round the corner onto Houston Street. It’s buzzing. People everywhere are ready to get their party on. Who doesn’t enjoy Friday night in the city after a long week’s work? I glance at my watch. It’s nine o’clock, and I’m on time. I pass by the Sunshine Cinema and focus on the sign for Fool’s Gold. It’s a relatively new gastropub, and I’ve been here just a handful of times. It’s turning into one of my favorite hangouts. For a change, I’m not here to critique; I’m here for some fun.
Walking up to the front of this pub, you wouldn’t think it’s anything special. The glass windows and doors are surrounded by walls covered with graffiti. I’m not sure how long this space remained empty before the new owner took over, but he definitely turned it into something amazing.
I love this place. The inside is a combination of brick and old wooden plank walls, which provide a relaxing atmosphere. I especially like how they use old plumbing fixtures for the lights. They’re soft and provide a nice ambiance. There are numerous wooden tables that can hold smaller parties, and they have long tables with bar stools capable of seating up to twenty people. The bar itself is a good size with the ability to comfortably seat twenty-five people. The mostly wooden chairs and tables, with wine barrels throughout, and cement floors provide a wonderful old-style New York City atmosphere.
It doesn’t take me long to see the handsome dark-haired man in the green Abercrombie and Fitch shirt. Tony sure has embraced all the American clothing companies since he’s been here. He really has had no trouble fitting in.
Almost as a nervous habit, I push the heart-shaped ring he gave me around my finger. It’s such an elegant piece of jewelry. I love it and can’t bear to take it off. It’s almost like a lifeline. I take a moment and watch Tony talking with another guy at the bar. I don’t recognize him, but they are both laughing and appear to be pretty chummy.
I take a deep breath and cross the cement floor to the handsome man awaiting my arrival. I’m anticipating the warmth and strength of his embrace. It’s amazing that a year after meeting this man, he still has this hypnotic hold on me. An emotionally magnetic force pulls me to him. Every time I draw near, sparks of electricity shoot through my body and make me all tingly. I’ve never felt this way before with a man. I’m addicted to him, and every second I have with Tony just feeds the fire even more.
I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around him. The guy Tony is talking to lifts an eyebrow as he peers in my direction. As Tony slowly turns around, his emerald-green gaze connects with mine, and it feels like his stare pierces a hole straight through my core.
“Hey, beautiful.” Tony doesn’t wait another minute before standing and pulling me into his muscular arms. He has a glimmer of mischief in his eyes as the corner of his lip curls upward. He leans in and whispers in my ear, “When I get you home, I’m going to ravage you.”
The heat from his breath and his words make my insides flutter and moisture instantly appear between my legs. It’s crazy, the effect this man has on me. Tony can undo me with just a smirk.
Tony nibbles my neck as he makes his way to my mouth. He’s never had regard for public displays of affection. He’ll take me at any moment or anywhere he pleases. It’s new to me. Before, I would never kiss anyone in public unless it was just a peck. Now, I’m insatiable. I can’t get enough of Tony, and I don’t care when or where he touches me. Thankfully he’s respectful and doesn’t go overboard.
He pulls my head forward, luring my mouth to his. Instantly, he thrusts his tongue against mine. I immediately note the taste of barley from the beer he’s been drinking. I love it. I close my eyes and dive in further, hoping to forget about the walk to the bar and the fear that just won’t go away. I take everything Tony is willing to give me with the kiss as his tongue claims every inch of me. If I could climb inside of him, I would.
“Jesus, man. Get a room.”
Tony slowly pulls away, never losing eye contact. The corners of his mouth slowly curve up as his grin returns. The way he stares at me, I can tell he’s undressing me with his mind. I don’t have to reciprocate, because I already had him naked as I entered the room.
“Jasper, this is Kate. Kate, this is Jasper.” Tony finally breaks the hold he has over me and motions to the man he was talking to when I entered.
Jasper stands up, removes his black fedora, and bows in front of me. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Princess Kate.”
His accent is British. He has short dark hair with long side burns. Jasper is wearing a black bowling shirt with orange-and yellow-flames and some black Dickies shorts. His arms are covered with various tattoos, including one of a pin-up girl.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well.” I smile kindly at Jasper before looking to Tony for further explanation. Every time I meet Tony somewhere, he always has a new friend with him. It perplexes me how a man who has been in the city for only a short while can establish such a vast collection of acquaintances.
Tony wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me in close. “Jasper and I go way back. We met each other in college while I was in London. Before I came here to find you, I connected with him again. He was already working on getting a visa to come work in the States on an assignment. Now, here we are.”
“Wow, what a coincidence. What kind of work do you do?”
Jasper gave Tony an awkward look before answering. It seems as though some silent communication is taking place that I’m not privy to. “I—uh. Well, I own a security firm. We typically do security detail for high-end clients who wish to stay off the radar.”
My hackles immediately go on alert. Something isn’t right here. “That sounds interesting. How did you get in that line of work?”
Jasper takes a sip of the golden liquid from the pint glass labeled with the bar’s name. He carefully sets it down on the cardboard coaster. “It’s a funny story, actually. I started out as a bouncer at a bar while I was in college. I got my degree in criminal justice and then served in Her Majesty’s Armed Forces for four years. Along the way, I took a liking to surveillance and personal security. Unfortunately, I don’t fit the mold of what is required to provide security detail at the higher level. In essence, I would never be able to provide security for the queen. As a result, I left the Forces and began working for an international private security firm for several years before starting my own business. Now, here I am.” Jasper takes another sip of his beer.
“What type of client brings you to the States?”
Jasper smiles. “How did I know you were going to ask that?” He looks to Tony before answering. “Unfortunately, my dear, I’m not allowed to disclose that information. The safety of my clients is dependent on my discretion.”
“I see.” I’m not sure why I’m feeling uneasy. Jasper seems friendly enough. He’s relaxed and appears to be enjoying his beer and the company. Something just doesn’t add up for me.
Tony releases my waist and motions me to the bar stool. “What would you like to drink?”
While my nerves have pretty much calmed from the event, I still feel as though I could use something stronger. “I’ll have a gimlet with Ketel One, please.”
Tony’s right eyebrow immediately shoots up as a frown appears on his face. “What happened?”
“Nothing. It just sounds refreshing.” I try not to let Tony know about all the panic attacks I have. I don’t want him to feel guilty or responsible for them. It’s not his fault I’m such a nervous wreck.
“Come on, love. I know you better than that. You hardly drink anything but wine unless you’re having a bad day. Tell me what happened.”
How does this man already know me so well? It’s as if I’m an open book, and he’s reading my instruction manual page-by-page while memorizing all its passages.
“It’s nothing. The walk over here was just…well, there were a lot of people.”
Tony purses his lips. He’s not happy I’m still suffering. “All right, one Gimlet coming up.” He waves to the bartender, who immediately walks over. I’m not sure why or how it happens, but Tony always seems to have control. People immediately respond and do what he asks.
The events in Umbria changed him as well. Tony is always relaxed when we are at home together. When we are out in the city, he tenses up and has a heightened sense of awareness. He seems more confident and more in control of what’s going on around him. I’m not sure when this change took place. The last time I saw Tony in Italy, he was one step away from death. Now, he’s stronger than ever. I’ve asked him several times what went on after I escaped, but he doesn’t want to “burden me with the details.” While I’d really like to be filled in on what happened, sometimes I think not knowing might be better.
The bartender places the light green liquid in front of me. I take a sip of the refreshing limey drink, close my eyes, and savor the liquid courage cooling my inner flame. The alcohol immediately takes effect as my muscles loosen. I glance at Tony, who is now staring intently at me and tapping his fingers on the bar.
“Are you ready to talk?”
I take another sip and swallow slowly, giving myself a bit more time to decide what to say. “I’m fine. There’s nothing to worry about. Let’s just enjoy one another’s company.” I motion to Jasper. I’m eager to take the focus off me. “So, Jasper, how long are you here for?”
It clearly hasn’t escaped Jasper, the tension between me and Tony. His concern is almost as palpable as Tony’s. I wonder how much he knows about what happened in Italy.
“I’m not sure. My client has given me an indefinite amount of time. It could be more of a permanent position.”
“Really?” I don’t know why I’m shocked. I really know nothing about his line of work. It just seems odd that someone would move to another country and not know how long their employment was going to last.
“Yeah, I’m looking to set up an office here and bring some of my employees over.” Jasper takes another sip of his beer.
“Was it hard to pick up and move?”
“Nah. I’m not married and don’t have any ties. I can pretty much get up and move anytime. It makes my job easier.” Jasper has an intense stare and doesn’t take his eyes off mine. It’s almost as if he’s studying me.
“Do you have any idea where you might want to rent some office space?”
Tony chimes in. “Jasper’s going to be our new neighbor. He rented a space on our floor.”
I look at Tony and then back at Jasper. He nods, confirming what Tony said. “Wow, that’s great. You’ll have a friend to hang out with.”
Tony laughs. “That’s the idea. When Jasper told me he was coming to the city, I told him about our building. It turns out it’s a perfect fit. He can have his office inside his apartment, and it happens to be close to his client.”
“Well, I guess we’ll be seeing a lot more of you.”
“I hope so. It’s been great catching up with my old mate.” Jasper fist-bumps Tony.
“So, what’s on the agenda tonight, boys?” I’m feeling pretty good. There’s no residual stress. The Gimlet took care of that. I motion to the bartender for another just to ensure a nice evening.
“Jasper was getting ready to head out of here. He’s got some work to do. I was thinking we could go play some billiards.”
“Do you really have to go to work? It’s Friday night! We need to have some fun.”
Jasper takes the last swig of his beer. “Not tonight, my lady. I’m already behind. I’ve got to get back to the flat to set up my office and contact some of my people across the pond. It’s morning there, and I need to get a ton of work done.” Jasper stands up from his stool and gives Tony another fist-bump. I don’t know what it is about the bump. It’s something so manly, but at the same time it seems a little immature.
Jasper takes my hand and kisses the top of it before saying his goodbyes to Tony. “I’ll connect with you tomorrow, mate.” And just like that, Jasper vacates the bar leaving Tony and I alone.
“So, what do you say? Do you want to play some pool?”
The smile on Tony’s face is contagious. I want to say yes and follow him to the ends of the earth. Something about the interaction with Jasper isn’t sitting well with me.
“I don’t think so. How about you tell me what’s going on?”
“I’m not sure I follow you.”
I take a sip of the fresh drink that’s placed in front of me. The bartender added a cherry this time and I pop it in my mouth even though I know the dangers of bar fruit. “Why is Jasper really moving into our building? What’s he doing here?”
“You heard him. He’s working. I don’t know how long he’s going to be in the States, and I thought it would be a great opportunity to reconnect with an old friend. Our building happened to be just what he was looking for. Besides, I’ll have a buddy when you go hang out with your girlfriends.” Tony winked at me.
“You know I don’t go out with the girls.”
“Yeah, but you should. It’s time for you to get back to the life you had before you met me. I want you to have friends and be the carefree Kate I met in Italy.”
He rubs the back of his hand against my cheek. I instantly get a whiff of the cologne lingering on his skin. A fire of desire immediately surges through me.
“I don’t need to have girlfriends. I have everything I need right here.” I turn in my stool so I can face Tony easier. “We spent almost a year apart. I just want to spend every moment I can with you. I don’t want to lose any more time.”
Tony places one leg between mine and one on the outside. The pressure on the inside of my thigh does wild things to my inner core. I struggle to focus on this conversation when what I really want is to go back home.
“We have all the time in the world. I’m not going anywhere, and you certainly don’t have to worry about me cheating on you. I’m yours. There’s no other place I want to be. It’s important for you to have some time with the ladies and do some shopping therapy, lunch, and whatever else you women do when hanging out. While I love every moment with you, I’d like for you to find a new shopping partner. Donna Karan and Louis Vuitton may be your BFFs, but I could do without going to any more of their stores.”
I can’t help the loud laugh that escapes my mouth. It ends with an embarrassing snort. “Okay, point taken. I’ll call up Kendall and make a date to shop without you.”
“Oh, thank the good Lord.” Tony looks up at the ceiling and clasps his hands as though he’s praying. I give him a small slap on the shoulder.
“Okay, stop. It can’t be that bad spending every second with me.”
“Definitely not, but the shopping I can do without.”
We laugh. I love that he feels comfortable enough that he can tell me these things. We communicate better than Mike, my ex-fiancé, and I ever did. I take another sip of my drink and look around the bar. People are genuinely laughing and having a good time. In some ways, I’m envious. They don’t seem to have a care in the world. I know that’s just outward appearances. Heck, I put on the same show day after day. I long for the day the panic attacks go away, and I don’t always feel like I have to look over my shoulder.