10
THE anticipation of our road trip was killing me. Before, I’d been sweating the actual appearance and trying to pretend I wasn’t a stupid college kid from Stone Mountain, Georgia. But now that the trip was imminent, I was more worried about all of the time Kage and I would spend closed up in a car together. Plus, Kage had suggested that we get a hotel room the night of the appearance and drive back home the next day.
I was preoccupied all week, and it showed in my workouts.
“Focus,” Marco would bark at me. “If I’m going to be training you, the least you can do is give me a hundred percent. That’s what I’m giving you.”
Kage would just smile or wink at me when I’d get into trouble with Marco, but he never interfered.
They had started teaching me punches and kicks, and I was trying to perfect my form. Sometimes I took Marco’s place as Kage’s punching bag, but I got the distinct feeling he was going a lot easier on me than he did Marco. Which was probably a good thing. I probably would have ended up in the hospital like Davi Matos if Kage had opened up on me one good time.
After Tuesday’s practice, three days before our scheduled appearance, we stayed in the gym after Marco had left.
“I want to learn some submissions,” I said after the door closed behind Marco. I knew Kage was worn out, and it might not be the best time for a lesson, but I didn’t want Marco to be around when I was trying to learn too serious or dangerous. The instructor had this way of looking at me like I wasn’t shit. Like he didn’t think I deserved to breathe the same air as Michael Kage.
Maybe I didn’t.
Thank goodness Kage didn’t seem to share that opinion. He doted on me, took the time to make sure I was comfortable and that I understood things. I didn’t know why he did it or what exactly he saw in me, but I was grateful.
Even as tired as he was, worn out from hours of hardcore drills that would put a lesser man in the emergency room, Kage smiled that indulgent smile and held out a hand for me. I placed my hand in his and quickly found myself spun around with my back pressed up against his front, his arm like a steel band around my throat.
“Triangle choke,” he said. “Now I drop the other arm in behind your neck, grab onto my bicep to lock my arms in place, and I’ve got you in a vice. Just try to get free.”
I struggled, succeeding only at making the arm around my neck tighten. It didn’t surprise me that I couldn’t muscle out of the death grip of a professionally trained MMA fighter, but it did surprise me to discover I was ashamed of that fact. Logic assured me that I should not be able to escape, but pride said I wasn’t much of a man if I couldn’t. How must it feel for a seasoned professional fighter to get caught in such a grip and be unable to escape, knowing that defeat was only seconds away? Was it humiliating for them, or were they hardened to failure? Did they have a more realistic attitude, or were they slaves to pride just like I was?
“Struggle, Jamie.” Kage leaned from side to side just enough to goad me into action. “Use your hands and your fingers. Try to claw your way out. I want you to feel how effective this hold is.”
I wiggled and clawed, but to no avail. “Can’t,” I choked out in a strangled voice. “No way.” He wasn’t hurting me, but he was dominating me for sure.
Finally, Kage let me go and turned me around to face him. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” The concern in his eyes was real, and it made me feel safe.
“No, I’m fine.” I rubbed absently at the side of my neck, feeling the film of sweat he had transferred from his arm to my throat.
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Show me some more. I want to learn.”
“Okay. How about you try that move on me?” Kage turned his back toward me and showed great patience as I executed a ham-handed triangle choke on him, moving through the steps slowly and hesitantly, like a kid learning to tie his shoe. He indulged me by spreading his legs and bending his knees, striking a horse stance so I didn’t have to stand on tip-toe to reach him. “Very good,” he lied smoothly. “You’re a natural. Now let’s take it down to the mat, and I’ll teach you a couple of armbar variations.”
We rolled around on the mat for a few long minutes as I attempted to mimic Kage’s armbar maneuvers. The guy made everything look so easy, it was surprising how difficult it was to actually attempt them myself. Several times, I nodded and assured him that I had a sequence of motions down, only to discover I actually had no clue what I was doing. It was excruciatingly embarrassing, and I decided this would probably be the last time I asked Kage to show me any moves.
Maybe a trivia night was in order, or an online IQ test showdown. Anything to show my own worth after this crash course in humility.
“How do you know when to do these things on someone?” I asked. “I can see how a person could memorize the moves and execute them on command in practice, but in a real fight your opponent isn’t going to get into the perfect position and just let you armbar him.”
“You’re right about that.” Kage laughed. “He’s not going to let you get away with anything if he can help it. The key is drilling these things over and over again in practice to the point that you feel it when the setup is right. Sometimes you don’t even have to think about it. Your body knows it’s time to get the bastard into an armbar, and it does it without any help from your brain.”
“Muscle memory, right?” I asked, marveling that I’d actually gotten the chance to use a piece of information that I already knew.
“Exactly. Your mind may not know what to do, or even have time to process what’s going on in a fight. But if you’ve trained right, your body will know. Which is a beautiful thing if you’re like me, because my brain turns off as soon as the fight begins and doesn’t turn back on until an hour or two later.”
“I’ll never get to that point.” I frowned, surprised that I even cared. “This job is going to be over in a couple of months, and it’ll be back to school for me. I’ll be lucky if I can even retain a quarter of what you and Marco have shown me.”
Kage didn’t comment on that. Instead, he leaned back onto his hands and spread his legs into a vee. Then he patted the mat between his legs.
I tried to follow his unspoken order, crawling up between his legs and turning in a confused circle like a dog trying to settle into a bed. Finally I got turned in the right direction, and Kage pulled me down into a seated position, my back pressed to his chest.
He put his powerful legs around my waist. Then he draped his left arm over my left shoulder, slid his right hand under my right arm, and grabbed onto his left wrist, securing his arms diagonally across my chest.
“This is the rear mount position,” he said. “And what I’m doing with my arms is called the over-under grip. Some people call it the seatbelt grip.”
I didn’t figure I’d forget the seatbelt grip any time soon, because the name actually described the position perfectly. But then he changed positions suddenly, and his left arm was around my throat again, just like in the triangle choke we had worked on. He didn’t squeeze, though.
“I’m going to show you how to do a Rear Naked Choke.”
I couldn’t help it. I laughed.
“What’s so funny?” He loosened his grip slightly.
“I’m sorry. It’s just that every time I hear Rear Naked Choke… Well, it just sounds dirty.”
“You just have a filthy fucking mind,” he teased.
I made a sound of protest. “You’ve gotta admit it sounds dirty.”
“Nah,” he said, his voice low and seductive right beside my ear. “It’s only dirty if you do this.”
He dropped his right hand onto my thigh and ran his fingers deliberately up under the fabric of my shorts. His fingertips caressed the front of my underwear, skimming over my dick, and my entire body tensed.
But just as quickly as it had happened, it was over, and Kage was laughing quietly at my ear. The warmth of his breath on my cheek added to the chill that was spreading over my entire body, and I tried to ignore the tightening in my groin and the fact that I was getting hard. I struggled to get away, terrified that he’d discover my reaction, but he tightened his arm around my neck just enough to calm me back down.
Then he was back to the business of showing me how to properly execute the submission, as if he hadn’t just touched my dick. As if he hadn’t made me hard. I couldn’t focus on what he was saying. My mind was blown, and all it could do was replay the memory of that quick caress over and over.
“And this is how you finish it,” Kage was saying, still against my ear, still in that same low tone that sounded almost seductive. He slid his right arm behind my head and secured it in the same way he had the Triangle Choke. “Do you want me to choke you out?”
He made it sound like a treat, like something you might sell your soul for. Then again, maybe I was just perceiving it that way. Except for the offhand grope, Kage been nothing but professional. I was the one who was affected— the one having unprofessional thoughts. He’d accidentally brushed my package during a joke, and I was freaking out.
“Um… Is it safe to choke someone out?” I heard myself asking.
“Not if you don’t know what you’re doing,” he admitted. “But when it comes to something like this, you couldn’t be in better hands.”
And after today, I’ll never think of those hands the same way again.
He hesitated. “If you don’t feel comfortable, it’s no big deal. I just thought you might be curious about what it feels like. You’d be surprised how many people have asked me if I would choke them out.”
“Really? People actually ask for that?”
“Yeah. But if you don’t want it…” He started to ease his hold on me.
“Do it,” I blurted before I could change my mind. Because I was curious. And because I didn’t want him to let go of me.
He tightened his grip on me again, putting gentle pressure not on my windpipe, but on the arteries to either side of it. I felt the damming of the blood flow there, and that same pressure I always got in my face when I strained way too hard to lift weights. The last thing I remember was a tingling sensation in my brain, like a thousand fireworks bursting in slow motion, and Kage whispering in my ear. “It’s okay, Jamie. I promise I won’t hurt you.”
The next thing I knew, I was lying on my back, looking straight up into Kage’s handsome face as the world came swimming back into focus. Only it seemed like I’d been watching him for a while, listening to the soft droning of his voice. How long had I been back?
“Hey, chief.” He smoothed my hair back from my forehead. “How are you feeling? That shit is wild, huh?”
Wild, indeed.
It felt like I’d just been reborn into the world. How long had it been since Kage had whispered that he wouldn’t hurt me? For all I knew, it could have been years. It seemed like years.
“How long was I gone?” I asked.
He smiled down at me. “Only a few seconds.”
“Are you serious?” I sat up too fast, nearly clashing my head into his. The world wavered, and I was reminded of that overwhelming brain tingle I’d felt just before losing consciousness. “It felt like so long. I think I was dreaming.”
“Oh, yeah? What did you dream about?”
“You.” His eyebrows shot up, and I hurried to continue. “You and I were in this post-apocalyptic world, and we were trying to get away from zombies. This girl came to our house and tried to get us to let her in, and I was gonna open the door, but you stopped me and told me she’d been bitten. Somehow you knew. And then we had to go out on a late-night food run, and we ended up in the cafeteria of my old school, and all we could find was whole kernel corn, green beans, and corn dogs. You said the corn dogs were too fattening, so we didn’t get them. And you’d only let me get skim milk.”
Kage was grinning. “So, I was in charge, huh? You did everything I said.”
I had one of those embarrassing moments when you realize you’ve babbled your dream out before you’re completely awake. Because if I’d had some time to think about it, I might have edited that dream before sharing it with Kage, if I’d ever shared it at all.
“I guess that is what it sounds like. I’m sure there was more, that’s just all I remember.”
“Damn, Jamie.” Kage ruffled my hair. “That brain of yours must be busy as hell, because you were literally only out for a few seconds. How did you have time to dream all that?”
“I think you may be lying to me about the time frame.”
He chuckled. “Maybe I should get a video of it next time so you’ll see I’m telling the truth.”
“Next time?”
“Or not.” He shrugged. “But you were adorable when you were convulsing and drooling.”
I felt the blood rush to my face. “Are you serious? I was drooling?”
“Nah, not really. I’m just fucking with you. You weren’t drooling… but you did convulse a couple of times. And before you freak out, that’s perfectly normal.” He laughed and stood up, pulling me onto shaky legs. “Let’s go get some grub. All that talk of zombies and bad school food has got me hungry.”
“Yeah, I could use some food, too. But could we go to a burger place? Just this once?”
He shot a chastising look in my direction. “Jamie, have you looked in the mirror lately? Your abs are really starting to get ripped. You look too amazing for me to let you put garbage in that body.”
And just like that, he had me puffed up with pride. If a guy like Michael Kage thought I looked amazing, there was no way I was eating a greasy hamburger. Ronald McDonald himself could not have talked me into it.
We ordered baked fish, brown rice and asparagus from room service, and we ate it on the glass dining room table in Kage’s apartment. The food was delicious, and the conversation was easy, but I couldn’t help thinking how surreal it was that getting groped and choked unconscious by a guy had actually become a part of my life. Even more puzzling was the fact that it really didn’t bother me that much.
When we’d both scraped our plates clean, Kage leaned his chair back on two legs and rubbed a hand absently over his flat belly. “I think I should have ordered two pieces of fish. I’m still hungry.”
My eyes instinctively followed the movement of his hand as it moved down his belly, and his fingers dipped into the waistband of his shorts and stayed there. When I looked back up, he was watching me with a half-smile on his face.
I stammered. “Um, let me, uh… I’ll just take these dishes out into the hall.” I bustled around the table stacking the plates and silverware. Anything to take my mind off of Kage’s hands and the memory of what it felt like to be touched by him. And the fact that the same hand he’d slipped into my shorts earlier was now in his shorts.
When I set the plates down on the floor in the hall, I glanced back through the open door at Kage, who was still watching me with that amused expression. That’s when I knew that I could not go back into that room. Not that night. Maybe not ever. My mind was playing tricks on me, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of what Kage had done during practice, or if it was because we were spending too much time together. Maybe I just wasn’t used to this kind of friendship. I’d never been friends with a fighter, and never with someone like Michael Kage. He was unpredictable and flighty, he took chances, and he was consummately physical. The man was a superstar in the making. And gorgeous. God, was he gorgeous.
And it was time for me to go back to my room.
“Goodnight, Kage,” I said just loudly enough for him to hear me.
“You’re going already?” He looked surprised. “It’s still so early. I thought maybe we’d catch a movie on TV or something.”
I faked a yawn and felt guilty for it. “I’m tired. Not used to working out so much like you are. Maybe it was being choked unconscious that did me in, I don’t know.” My attempt at humor fell flat. “Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks for dinner. It was much better than fast food. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking suggesting burgers.”
Kage lowered the front legs of his chair back down and smiled, but I could tell he was disappointed. It probably got lonely living in an ivory tower, but there was nothing I could do. I had to get away and regroup before I embarrassed both of us.
“Goodnight,” he said. “See you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” I closed the door and listened to the click. Then I made my way slowly back to my own room, knowing I wasn’t going to sleep when I got there. It was his fault— Kage’s fault for touching me like that. I just haven’t been touched in a long time.
Once I was behind the locked door of my own room, I gave in. I stripped my clothes off, and my hand was around my stiffening cock before I even made it to the bed, stroking and pulling like I’d wanted to all night, easing that excruciating ache. I dropped onto my back on the bed and allowed myself to think the thoughts I’d been pushing away all night— unacceptable thoughts that I knew I’d try not to acknowledge ever again. Imagining it was Kage’s hand stoking my cock, I came onto my own belly in less than a minute. It was the most forceful release I could remember having, like a million demons were flying out of me, and I had to throw my forearm across my mouth to stifle my lusty groan.
“Well, that was amazing,” a said aloud, blinking up at the ceiling as I floated back to earth. “But it’s out of my system now. When I wake up tomorrow, all of this will just seem like a really funny dream. I’ll laugh, and I’ll say, Jamie, that was so stupid! And then I’ll never think of it again.”
I went to sleep believing that. But when I woke up, the first image that flitted through my mind was of Kage’s hand on my cock.