Kat managed to get the okay from Handsome and get off the ranch without running into anyone else. It was early and everyone was still sleeping. As she walked out front, she could see the Skulls’ bikes were back in place. They had gone out the night before, led by Dax and eager to end this war once and for all. Kat hadn’t heard them come back. After making love to David, she’d been dead to the world. Dead enough that she didn’t even feel him leave her.

“Miss Brown?” Kat looked up to see one of the prospects coming toward her when she was almost to the shop.

“Yeah…Monte, right?”

“Yeah. V.P. wants me to follow and make sure you get home okay.”

Kat didn’t want to be followed. She wasn’t in the mood to “people” at all. But, she wasn’t going to argue with Dax’s hospitality either. “Okay,” she said, simply. When she got to the shop, she geared up, slowly. She kept hoping that David was going to suddenly come running after her. She felt stupid just having the thought, but she knew when she realized the truth that it was going to hurt too much. David was just like every man she’d been with since him. He wanted her…her body and what she could do for him in the moment. But he didn’t want her. He didn’t want the woman who had trouble controlling her anger, who had no qualms about the fact that she probably hit one of those guys she shot at the day before and who had, in his eyes, committed the murder of a baby. He may have forgiven her, but that didn’t mean he wanted “them” back. She was such a fool.

She finally got on her bike and as she drove toward the front gate of the ranch, she didn’t look back. Monte rode alongside her and when they got to Brownie’s, he waited for her to get off the bike and put her key in the door before giving her a wave and taking off. Kat was happy to see that Dillon had remembered to lock the door. It was a crapshoot with him sometimes. She unlocked it and had barely stepped in the door before she knew right away that something wasn’t right. The bar was clean…spotless. It was exactly the way she’d left it before going on her ride the day before. There was no way that Dillon would have cleaned it up. She’d expected to walk in to a disaster with glasses and plates everywhere and alcohol spilled on the tables and floors. She was almost surprised at her own disappointment. She was frozen to her spot for a few seconds and then as if they suddenly took on a life of their own, her legs started toward the stairs. By the time she got there, she was running and yelling out Dillon’s name. He didn’t answer her and there was no noise coming from the apartment. She was happy to find the door unlocked and she yelled for him again as soon as she threw it inward. She thought she heard a groan, but she wasn’t sure. She raced into his bedroom and stopped dead in her tracks.

Dillon was lying on top of the bed, wearing only his shorts. His whole body was yellow…almost fluorescent…and there was vomit running down his chin, neck, and chest. “Fuck. Dillon?” She was almost whispering at that point, scared to death that he was dead. If he’d died while she was out having fun, or worse yet, fucking David, she didn’t know if she could forgive herself. Dillon could be an asshole. He was impulsive and annoying and he was a drunk, an idiot, and a has-been…but he was her dad and she loved him. “Dillon!” He did groan that time; she was sure of it. That got her moving again and she got close enough to put her fingers against the side of his neck without the vomit and feel for a pulse. There was one there, but barely. She pulled out her phone and dialed 911. She didn’t even realize until later that how much an ambulance was going to cost hadn’t even crossed her mind.

* * *

“Miss Brown?” Kat had been sleeping, dreaming that she’d come home and found Dillon dead and her mother was there…alive…pointing a finger at her and telling her it was all her fault. She jerked herself awake, pulled her eyes open, and looked at the middle-aged man in burgundy scrubs standing over her.

“Yes,” she sat up straight and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “How is my dad?”

The doctor sat down next to her and said, “Miss Brown, you know that your father has end-stage liver disease, right?”

Kat knew, but she didn’t want to think about that. “Yeah. How is he?”

“He’s in bad shape. His liver isn’t working at all any longer. He’s jaundiced because his blood isn’t being filtered and his gall bladder is also not doing what it’s supposed to do.”

“Can you fix it?”

“No,” he said, softly. “The only way your father would have a chance of beating this would be if he could get a liver transplant.”

“Okay, do that.”

He smiled, sadly. “There are thousands of people on the transplant list. Your father wouldn’t be a good candidate, based on his history…”

“What are you talking about? You’re going to pass him a death sentence because he’s a drunk? He’s not a bad person. He lost his football career when he was young and then his wife, and he was left with a kid to raise on his own…” Defending him, surprisingly, seemed to come naturally to her. Why did it take his almost dying for her to realize that she didn’t want him to?

“Miss Brown, I’m not passing judgment on your father. I’m sorry, but I’m just telling you that there are criteria someone has to meet to make the list and your father wouldn’t meet those criteria in time.”

“So we just sit here and wait for him to die?”

“I’m sorry.”

“No! No, that’s not good enough.” Kat got to her feet. She was surprised with herself for feeling this so deeply. She hated that she was suddenly feeling everything so deeply. It was fucked up because there was never anything to feel good about. Fuck! “What about my liver?”

“Excuse me?”

“I’ve heard that people live with only a part of a liver. Why can’t you give him part of mine?”

“I guess that might be a possibility, but you’d have to talk to a transplant surgeon and get some testing done and it’s all pretty expensive…” She saw the look in his eyes. Her father didn’t have insurance. They couldn’t afford to save his life even if she was a match. She wanted to scratch the man’s eyes out even though she knew it wasn’t his fault. Her chest was aching and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. “Miss Brown, maybe you should sit down. You look pale.”

“You just fucking told me my father was going to die. I think I have a right to be pale. I want to see him.”

“They’re moving him up to ICU right now. As soon as he’s settled, I’ll have the nurse come and get you.” The man stood up, but Kat must have had that homicidal look she got in her eyes because he took a step back so that he was an arm’s length away from her. He waited for a few seconds like he expected her to thank him. She knew it was unreasonable, but she wasn’t going to thank the man for telling her she was about to be an orphan. Fuck him if he has feelings about that. He finally mumbled something about good luck and left her there…alone. She paced the length of the waiting room for several minutes before an idea came to her. She walked outside the ER and took out her phone. She called her old roommate, and she could tell by the sound of his voice on the other end that he was no more happy to hear from her than everyone else always was.

“Katrina Brown, as I live and breathe.” Her old roommate was gay and from the south and he was always saying things that put Kat in mind of an old southern belle. Sometimes it was as annoying as hell.

“Hey, Gavin…”

“Long time no hear. How are those recipes working out for you?”

“They’re working out good. Gavin, I’m sorry I haven’t called. Things have been crazy here. Gavin, I need help.”

“Of course you do or you wouldn’t be calling me.”

“Gavin, please don’t be that way. My father is going to die if I don’t do something.”

“I’m sorry, baby. I was feeling sorry for myself while you’re going through all that. I just miss your pretty face.”

“I miss your pretty face too. Gavin, does your brother-in-law still work for Vinnie Tucci?”

Gavin sighed heavily. “That loser is in county jail. He beat some guy with a tire iron right under a security camera. Moron.”

Damn. “Do you know how to get a hold of Vinnie, or maybe your sister would know?”

“Baby girl, what do you want with a piece of shit like Vinnie?”

“I need money.”

“Oh, no…no way…you are not dealing with that man.”

“Please, Gavin. My dad is going to die. I’m going to get tested to see if my liver matches his and if I am a match, I’ll need a lot of money to pay for the surgery…please…”

“Kat, Vinnie Tucci is an animal, you know that.”

“I know. But I’ll work my ass off to make every payment on time and I won’t have to worry about that. Gavin, if you love me…”

“Oh, yes, I don’t hear from you for months but now it’s ‘if I love you.’ Katrina Brown, you are a mess, girl, you know that?”

Kat reached up and wiped the tear that had fallen from one of her eyes. She hadn’t cried since the night David left her five years before. It wasn’t something she did often, but her emotions had to get out some way or she was going to self-destruct. “I know, Gavin,” she said, softly. “But you’ve never seen a mess like the one I’ll be if I don’t at least try to save Dillon’s life.”

He sighed again. “Okay, girl, but he’s going to want to see you here in California, so if you’ve got one of those big, strong motorcycle guys you always talk about handy, bring one with you for backup…or two….” Kat could picture him smiling wickedly. “One for you and one for me…”

“I love you, Gavin.”

“Tell me that after this bottom feeder calls you. Please, Kat, be safe.”

“Always,” she promised before hanging up. She walked for a while, until she found a spot on the hospital lawn where there was no one around. Letting herself cry was one thing, letting anyone see her do it was completely unacceptable. She sat down and let the tears flow. For the first time in a long time she let herself remember the good times with Dillon. Her childhood wasn’t ideal, but her father wasn’t mean or neglectful. He was childlike and broken, but he loved her and no matter what, she’d always known that. She had somehow convinced herself that it was okay that they fought all the time because one day he’d be old and she’d have to take care of him and then she’d be nice to him when he was a sweet, old, crazy man. She had refused to believe she was actually going to lose him so soon. He wasn’t even fifty years old. She was only twenty-five. It might kill her to admit it to him, but she needed him. Dillon was the only person on earth who knew the truth about her abortion. He knew everything about her, the good, the bad, and the really ugly…and he was the only person in her life who never walked away.

Kat cried for a long time, but once she finally stopped, she felt like a pressure valve had been opened and some of the pressure that had filled her head and chest had been released. She wiped her face, took a deep breath, and headed back inside to tell Dillon everything was going to be okay. She hoped that he believed it more than she did.