Maybe it was that positive mindset about the future that carried them through those first few days after Gretchen left.

As September slid without fanfare into October, signs of autumn began popping up around town. Nowhere was that more evident than in Drea’s Flower Shop. The florist had filled her front window with locally grown colorful blooms from The Plant Habitat. Golden chrysanthemums, vibrant orange and scarlet celosia, and spiky, lemon-cream asters, adorned the shop, enticing the passerby to order early for homecoming, the first such event at Ocean Street Academy.

Hayden had decorated the stoop outside her bookstore with pots of various sizes containing black-eyed Susan, simple marigolds, and bright yellow pansies.

Doorsteps and porches throughout the neighborhood displayed their pumpkins and scarecrows perched on bales of hay along with leafy golden wreaths on the front doors.

Time for a change of seasons. Fall was officially in the air.

The autumn days had an Indian summer feel to them. Warm sunshiny days and beautiful clear nights kept people outdoors, especially guests booked into the B&B who wanted to take advantage of special end-of-season rates and all that the coast had to offer. The good weather meant Simon was busier than ever.

But Gilly still had her three-day-on shifts to contend with, and those were the most hectic times of all. While Connie’s health was still in question and she recuperated from the nasty infection, Simon continued to look after Jayden.

Crazy work schedules meant being even twenty minutes late could blow the best laid plans out of the water. The church’s daycare program acted as their stop-gap measure; getting from one hour to the next in the afternoon sometimes meant lining it up at the last minute. The staff got used to the couple’s requirements in short order. Everyone agreed the most important thing was getting the kids covered.

With the big move coming tomorrow, they’d discovered that packing up the cottage with toddlers around was impossible, so they’d foisted the kids and the dog off on a willing Neenah Brewer. She’d promised to keep them the entire day if Simon would mow her grass. He eagerly took the offer.

So far, it had paid off. They’d finished up in the kitchen, wrapping dishes and glassware securely for the bumpy ride into town.

“It’s time for a break,” Simon announced, after taping up the last box and looking around at the bare cabinets. “It’s almost two. Why don’t we grab some lunch? And don’t suggest we eat in this dustbowl.” He fanned the air where little bits of dust particles tried to cling to his face. “I need to get out and experience fresh air.”

“Where would that be? I’m sick of pizza.”

“Me too. What about The Shipwreck?”

“Bar food?” She wrinkled her nose. “As long as I don’t have to cook, I’m in for…whatever.”

“I heard that Durke hired an actual cook. No more microwaving junk food and charging six bucks for jar salsa and chips out of a bag.”

“I haven’t been in there since the initial opening when I went with Aubree and Kinsey for a night out. Sure. I’m willing to support local fare even if it probably tastes like crap.”

They hopped in his truck⸻Brad Radcliff was still trying to find him a good price on a minivan⸻and headed for town.

“I’ll be so glad when this move is over.”

Gilly twisted in the passenger seat. “Have you heard from your mom?”

“I talked to her mid-week. She mentions John every other sentence.”

“And that bothers you.”

“I wouldn’t say bothers, more like…it’s different, my mother bringing up this guy in odd ways. He’s actually planning to pay her a visit, fly to Newport in two weeks. According to her, they spend every night Skyping.”

Gilly let out a laugh. “You gotta love their enthusiasm.”

“I guess.” Simon found a place to park near the wharf and went around to open the door for Gilly. He draped an arm over her shoulder as they walked into the newly revamped bar. Usually hopping with chatter and music so loud it could perforate an eardrum, on this Saturday afternoon the place was dead.

Waitress Geniece Darrow met them at the door with a one-page menu done on glossy cardstock. “Hey, there. Late lunch? Sit anywhere. Your choice.”

They beelined for a table in the back. Geniece came over to take their drink orders.

Gilly went with a glass of red.

“Beer for me,” Simon stated, skimming the simple menu. “I’ve only had the wings here, but I see Durke added three sandwiches, lobster rolls, roast beef, and turkey club.”

Geniece nodded. “He started serving them last summer for the tourists. They were so popular with the beachgoers, he decided to keep them permanently. Or as permanently as we are around here.  Roast beef is the real deal, piled high on a French roll with au jus. Lobster is fresh, the club is served on thick slices of bread. All of them come with fries.”

Gilly had given up trying to lose a few pounds. “I’ll have the club.”

“I’ll go with the lobster roll.”

After Geniece hurried off to the kitchen, Gilly crossed her arms on the table. She loved studying him. Today he wore a green T-shirt with White Horse Tavern emblazoned on it and a pair of stonewashed jeans so ancient they’d lost their denim color. His hair was ruffled and always seemed to be needing a comb. His arms were tanned, his body lean and loose. Her heart did a slow roll into lust.

She met his eyes. Leaning closer, and barely above a whisper, her voice went raspy from wicked thoughts. “It occurs to me we have free time to ourselves. Very rare lately. We can either spend it between the sheets…”

Simon’s eyes went wide and didn’t let her finish. “I vote for that.”

She reached across the table and locked her fingers with his. “I need a shower. And my place is less than five minutes from here.”

He frowned. “Why didn’t you mention this before we ordered?”

“I thought you were hungry.”

“Not that hungry.” He signaled for Geniece. “Any way we could get those sandwiches to go?”

“Sure thing. I’ll go bag them up.”

He sent Gilly a confident look. “There. Problem solved.”

They couldn’t get to Gilly’s house or the shower fast enough. They were hungry, but not for food. They yanked off shoes and tugged off clothes as they spun their way down the hallway and into the bathroom. Simon reached over and turned the knob for the water. As it heated up, so did he. Their need snapped and spun, untangling knots and tensions. When they stepped under the spray together, it was all slick bodies and slippery hands, feeling, exploring, stroking.

He gripped her butt, lifted her up against the tile. She wrapped her legs around him, threw her head back. His vision went ragged as she shuddered, the tremble making his heart hammer in his chest.

Her nails scraped down his back, her teeth nipped his shoulder. He thought he heard a muffled moan as she went lax in his arms. He’d held out, but now took that pulsing rhythm to a higher arc. Letting himself go, he drove deeper, sending them both toward that energy field of ecstasy, that higher rapture, where raw need meets heaven.

 

 

Afterward, they ate sitting cross-legged on the bed, devouring cold fries and soggy sandwiches.

Sampling each other’s menu choices, Gilly broke off a corner of the lobster roll. “I should’ve ordered that.”

“I was just thinking the same thing about the club.”

They traded.

“What time do we pick up the kids?”

“Less than an hour. What shall we do tonight?”

“I was thinking a walk on the beach.”

“Really? That’s so funny. I live this close to the water, and yet, I don’t do that often enough. I’m always in a hurry to get home or get somewhere else.”

“It’s the perfect night for it. We should take the kids through the Marine Rescue Center sometime. They’d love all the animals.”

“Once you get settled, we’ll make a point of doing that.”

Simon was about to agree when his cell phone buzzed, the sound coming from down the hallway. Naked, he got out of bed to retrieve the device he’d stuffed down in his jeans and left on the floor near the bathroom. He looked at the readout but didn’t recognize the area code. “Hello?”

He heard static on the other end of the line. “Hello?” he repeated.

“Bro, is that you?”

Simon recognized the familiar voice right away, especially hearing it break out in a rendition of “Born to be Wild.” Eagle Eye sounded stoned or drunk.

“Where are you?”

Instead of getting an answer, Simon heard more singing. Then the line went dead. He hit redial, but no one picked up.

Puzzled and annoyed, he gathered up their scattered clothes and walked back to the bedroom to Gilly.

Almost immediately, she could tell something was bothering him. “Who was that?”

“Nobody.”

His mood had changed, a definite somber demeanor had replaced the carefree, after-sex glow. She let it go because they needed to head to Neenah’s house to get the kids.

But even then, he was subdued to the point of distracted. All during their meal at the Diner, and then on their leisurely stroll at the beach, he kept looking at his phone, redialing a number over and over again.

Her first instinct was, of course, dark. Was he cheating on her? She dismissed that notion almost right away. Where on earth had he carved out the time to see someone else? They could barely keep up with their own space and time, let alone bringing in a third party.

From the pier, they watched the sun go down over the glistening water. They sat there, neither one talking, until dusk, watching the lights wink on up and down the strand.

It wasn’t until a drowsy Delaney turned in her arms that she realized the baby had fallen asleep. She tugged on Simon’s sleeve. “I think we should go.”

“Oh. Sure. Absolutely.” He bundled Jayden up in his arms, called to Merlin, and set off toward Crescent Street with the boy clutched to his chest.

Once they reached the house, Gilly wanted to know, “Are you staying tonight?”

He set Jayden on his feet and watched as the tyke ran off to get his cars. “How does this work exactly if Delaney doesn’t have her crib?”

“I dug out Jayden’s and put it together yesterday afternoon. I set it up in the guest room for Delaney.”

“Oh. Well, I’m not an expert at this. In fact, maybe I have no right to even have a kid.”

“Where’s this coming from? Tell me what’s wrong. You’ve been acting weird since that phone call.”

He shook his head. “I can’t talk about it.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

Noticing the rise in her tone, he quietly pointed out, “If you plan on yelling at me, maybe you should take Delaney in the other room.”

She growled low in her throat. “Simon, I don’t want to yell. But you said you wanted to be there for me. Always. That’s what you said. Your words, not mine. Then when I try to poke a secret out of that brain of yours, to find out why you’re so down, I hit the silent wall. Always is a long time to keep secrets.”

“Maybe you have a few I don’t know about,” he muttered.

“What would that be? Oh. Wait. I’m not supposed to tell anyone that Logan’s auctioning off a trip to Greece, where he still owns a house there. Maybe you should just…leave…get out of here.”

“Fine. Come on, Merlin. Let’s go back to our place.”

The dog wasn’t sure if he wanted to go. But when she transferred the baby to Simon’s arms and watched him walk out the door, Merlin trotted after him, albeit reluctantly.

 

 

She’d thrown his words back at him and he couldn’t blame her. He’d been an idiot, but he didn’t admit that until he sat alone with Merlin in the dark, sulking.

Delaney had gone down without any effort at all. He’d searched his CDs for some soul-wrenching strings and piano and listened as Bach drifted out of the speakers. It fit his mood perfectly.

Merlin let out a low whine. But it was the eyes Simon saw first. Scott’s eyes.

“I’m not in the mood,” Simon said in a faint, raspy voice.

“Maybe you should get in the mood.”

“Back off.” He held up his middle finger to go with the warning.

“Del Rio couldn’t possibly have made you this upset.”

“What do you know about it?”

“Just that your kill count could’ve sparked a movie.” Even in the dim shadows, Scott saw Simon pale.

“Gilly keeps bugging me about it.”

“That’s actually not true,” Scott said.

“Take her side then.”

“There are no sides to this, Simon. You’ve killed for your country, you’ve done things that followed you back home. No one can prevent you from feeling guilty about it. But we can help you heal. You aren’t the first soldier to do it and you won’t be the last. They’ll be other wars, other snipers with more kills to their credit than you. Del Rio needs help. He reached out to you. No one else.”

“What do you want me to do? Go get him? I don’t even know for sure where he is. And even if I did I don’t know that I can be around him without dredging up bad memories. Don’t you get it? Really bad memories. Are ghosts that dumb? I want to help the guy out, I do, but I might not be able to handle having him around. It might not be the best thing for me. Get it now?”

“It’ll take weeks to track him down. Del Rio. He won’t get here in time.”

“In time for what? What are you talking about?”

“You’re here for a reason.”

“And what would that be? To screw up Gilly’s life more than it already is?”

“Maybe you should start by telling her that one of your own, one of your friends needs your help, that you’re worried about a buddy. Then take it from there. Tell her everything. Truth, Simon, is better than any pride or stowing secrets in here.” Scott tapped his chest. “Be the man Gilly thinks you are. Be the friend Del Rio needs.”

Simon’s eyes watered. He put his head in his hands. When he started to speak, he looked back up, but he was alone again in the room.

He picked up his phone and texted Gilly.

I’m sorry. Is the offer still open to talk?

Of course. I’ll be there in ten minutes.

True to her word, she showed up on his porch with Jayden in her arms, sound asleep. After putting the toddler to bed in the guest room, she took a seat on the sofa. And waited. She watched him pace, back and forth, back and forth, until she couldn’t take it any longer.

“Why tell me now, Simon? What’s changed?”

“Because you deserve to know what kind of person I am.” Once he started talking, everything poured out, the faces, young and old, male and female, and those he couldn’t save. Buddies he’d known for years. He told her about the tortured dreams, his guilt, and now someone was calling him who needed help, someone worse off than him, someone who dredged up all the lousy memories, someone who brought them back into focus as if it all had happened yesterday.

“I don’t know if I can do it. Don’t you see? It’ll be too painful seeing him every day. I don’t have that kind of courage inside me anymore.”

She patted the seat next to her and watched as he dropped, exhausted, into the cushions. She wrapped him up in her arms, just like she had Jayden an hour earlier. “Simon, you’re the strongest man I’ve ever known. Stop selling yourself short. You need to do this for yourself and your friend. It’ll be okay. It’ll all be okay.”

He sank deeper into her arms, wondering what he’d done to deserve a woman like this, who could see past his faults, and could forgive him for the unforgivable.