LUCIEN

 

THE WATCH I made for Adeline catches my eye over dinner, and I can't help but notice how much more she's smiling and talking.  In fact, I can't remember the last time she talked so much during dinner.

While Adeline talks about New York City as if it's some truly magical place, Jax is practically beaming, looking completely enamored.

And I know exactly how he feels.

I know if I was capable of loving anyone, I could possibly love Adeline.  She would be so easy to fall for.

Her fingers skim over the bracelet of the watch, and she looks up at me with a huge smile on her face.  "Lucien gave me this today," she tells Jax, and she actually sounds…proud.  Of the watch or of me or maybe both.  I'm not sure.

But I can hear that forgotten muscle deep inside my chest beat once again under all the thick layers of tar and muck that have kept it hidden for so long.

Jax sends me an enigmatic look before he tells Adeline, "That was very thoughtful of him."

I'm sure he knows of my true intentions since he saw me installing some of the hardware in the watch the other day.

I built the watch almost entirely from scratch.  It does a lot of the same tasks a fitness tracker does, except it's more advanced for my purposes.  It contains a GPS tracker, and it's synced with my phone and computers so I know where she'll be at all times of the day. 

The GPS will help us build a level of trust.  It will alert me if her heartbeat reaches a certain level or if she strays too far away from the mansion.  If she's trying to run, I will know almost instantly and be able to stop her.

I hope it never comes to that, but it's nice to know she'll never be able to leave me.  If my security system and guards don't catch her, I can rely on the bracelet to do its job.  The three-tier system should be foolproof.

 

* * * * * * *

 

AFTER DINNER, I retreat to the library with a glass of scotch.  Adeline went up to her room to change into something, as she put it, more comfortable, but I expect her to be down shortly.

It feels weird to know she's roaming the halls of my mansion without a guard or me, and I can't help but check my phone for the tenth time in the past fifteen minutes to track her movements.

"She's in her room, right where she said she'd be," I mutter to myself.

I force myself to tuck my phone back into my pants pocket, and I take a sip of the dark liquid, relishing in the burn running down my throat.

I've never been much of a drinker, but I enjoy a good scotch now and then.  I like to remain clearheaded and stay away from any substance that might be considered addictive.  I know that all stems from my childhood and growing up with a drug-addicted whore of a mother who slept with anyone who supplied her with booze and pills.  However, she had been devoid of reality for a long time, maybe even before I was born.

I was an unfortunate mistake.

My mother told me so.  Many times.

I went through withdrawal from heroin soon after I was born.  I spent an entire month in the NICU while I suffered from neonatal abstinence syndrome, or at least that's what my medical records tell me.

Memories from my childhood blur together.  There are no happy memories, just nightmares that keep me up at night.

When I was finally rescued at the age of twelve by my rich uncle, many told him I was too far gone to be saved and that he should throw me into a mental institution.

I can't say I really blame them for their opinion of me, though.  I mean, I barely spoke a word, couldn't make eye contact and had already developed a lot of nervous tics and social anxieties. 

I was also extremely socially inept.  Always assuming the worst in people.  Always assuming they were going to hurt me even when they claimed to love me.

My mother had made sure to instill my fear of love right from birth.  She had claimed to have loved me with all of her heart, but all she ever gave me was pain and misery.

I associated love with pain.

I still do.

My uncle must have had a heart of gold, though, because he never gave up on me.  He spent money on the best doctors, the best therapists, eventually getting me to function like a normal human being at a rate so fast that it shocked all of my doctors.

I eventually grew into a mostly normal adult, and I learned to adapt to my surroundings quickly.

However, my peculiar mannerisms that I had developed over the years stuck with me, making me unable to pursue any sort of normal relationship with anyone really.  My affinity to cleanliness came from living in scum my entire childhood.  It soon grew to an obsession.  And along with it, the need to feel clean and for everything around me to be sanitary.

I was only sixteen when my uncle noticed that I couldn't eat off the fine china that had already been used at a prior meal.  I couldn't drink from the same glass that someone else's lips had touched even if it had been washed a million times in scalding hot water.

I needed everything to be brand new and unused.  Every.  Single.  Time.

I also required control over every single aspect of my life.  Having had no control for so long throughout my childhood, I demanded it when I got older.  I need order and precision to survive.

Taking a final swig of my scotch, I set the glass down on a coaster resting on a side table.  Feeling flushed from the alcohol and overwhelmed from the barrage of painful memories, I take off my suit jacket and neatly drape it over the back of a broad backed leather armchair.  My fingers hook into the tie around my neck, loosening it, before unbuttoning the top two buttons.

Breathing deeply, I instantly feel better and not as if I'm suffocating.

The door to the library opens, and my gaze flashes to the doorway to see the most beautiful creature who ever graced my presence.

Adeline's dark locks cascade in soft waves around her.  She's wearing short pajama shorts that showcase her long legs and curves and a tight tank that leaves no room for the imagination.  She's not wearing a bra, and I can see her nipples poking through the material.

My cock jumps at the sight, straining against my zipper, and I hold back a groan as she walks towards me.

"I thought you might be in here," she says with a coy smile.

I try to read between the lines of her statement.  She knew I'd be here, and she dressed…like that?  I narrow my eyes as I try to figure out what kind of dangerous game she's trying to play.

"Jax told me that you don't even own a DVD player," she tells me.

I frown at her words, because I don't remember the two of them discussing that over dinner.  She must have talked to him afterwards…or maybe before.  How often do they talk?  What do they talk about?

My mind swirls with jealously, and I hate the fucking feeling.  I clench my jaw, seething internally with anger.

She must notice the change in my demeanor, because she takes a step back and watches me with a guarded look on her face.  "You said that we could watch the Lord of the Rings movies together sometime, so I asked Jax if you had them."

Some of my raging jealousy simmers when I realize she was thinking about me when she talked to Jax.

Adeline regards me with unease, and I hate it.  I don't want her to fear me or hate me.  I want her to like me and to trust me, and I've never wanted something more in my entire fucking life.

I close the distance between us in a few, long strides.  I tower over her petite frame as she looks up at me with those emerald eyes I can't seem to stop thinking about.

"I'll order a DVD player and the movies," I tell her.  "If you make me a list, I'll get whatever movies you want."

She gives me a heart-stopping smile, and I can feel the breath leaving my lungs.  Without thinking, I reach up and wrap a lock of her hair loosely around my finger.  Her hair is soft, and I can smell the apple scent from the shampoo I bought for her.

"Lucien." My name is a soft plea on her lips.

When her pink tongue darts out of her mouth to lick her full lips, I'm a fucking goner.  I curse at the scotch in my system right now giving me liquid courage and not a clear head.  But maybe this is just what I need…what I want.

I release the strand and cup her cheek against my palm.  Gently, I trace her bottom lip with the pad of my thumb.  And suddenly, I feel the urge to do something I've never done before.  My eyes lock onto her lips, and I lick my own.  I want to kiss her.  I want to taste her.

I want to fucking devour her.

She would be my first.

My first kiss…ever.

I suck in a shuddering breath, my entire body shaking with need.  "Adeline."  I say her name, and it comes out almost like a moan.  I don't ask if I can kiss her.  I just take what I want.  And I fucking want her more than anything in the world at this moment.

Leaning down, I brush my lips over hers in a teasing barely-there kiss.  Softly at first, savoring the feeling of her mouth against mine for the first time.

My fingertips slowly trace the soft line of her jaw to the back of her neck.  Then, I tangle my fingers into her hair and pull her closer, holding her in place as I deepen the kiss.

Adeline whimpers and opens willingly to me, welcoming me in as she parts her lips.  My tongue slowly dips in, thrusting and intermingling with her own.  She tastes like mint from her toothpaste, and I can't get enough of the taste.  My hands hold her in place as I devour her, wanting more and more until I finally break away to take a ragged breath.

She's panting too, her eyes wide with surprise and confusion.  She liked that kiss as much as I did even though she knows deep down that she shouldn't.

My lips are wet and warm from that soul-searing kiss, and I can still taste her on my tongue.

Slowly, dark thoughts begin to flood my mind about germs and who she might have kissed before and how dirty their mouths might have been…am I going to get sick from kissing her…what if she's sick right now…or has some kind of disease…

I squeeze my eyes shut and try to block out the unwanted thoughts.

Needing some distance, I take a step back from her, but Adeline follows me.  "Lucien," she whispers, reaching for me, her delicate, soft hand cupping my cheek.

But her touch is too much on my senses, which are already overloaded from that kiss; and I take another step back to break our connection.  My entire body trembles, and I feel like I can't get enough air into my lungs.

Without saying another word, I grab my suit jacket and rush out the door, leaving Adeline standing there.  Alone and confused.