CHAPTER FOUR
Sitting on Blue's back had never been a hardship for Rin. The feel of Blue's soft fur over hard muscle and bone was almost as interesting as when Blue lay over Rin while they were sleeping. This time, however, the hard press of stiffened leather separated them. Rin couldn't say he liked that feeling, and he knew Blue didn't exactly enjoy having a saddle tied to his back, either.
"Again!" Jim called.
Blue let out a grumbling whinny, but he obediently stepped into position at their improvised starting line. It was Rin who took a few extra seconds to situate himself. He knew how to ride a horse, but riding as a jockey was different. He was essentially crouching in the saddle with his head low over Blue's neck to reduce wind resistance and his knees bent so they could flex with the up-and-down movement of Blue's stride. It wasn't a comfortable position to be in at all.
Rin had seen plenty of jockeys do this before—at the track and here at the farm. They used to come by a couple days before races to take a few test laps and get a feel for a horse. Some had even been riders for Mama in the off-season. None of them had seemed to have the same trouble Rin was having, but then, none of them had stopped riding almost entirely for a few years.
We've got this, Rin, Blue said comfortingly. His voice sounded as tired as Rin felt—slightly beat-up and scratchy—but he was willing to give it another try, so Rin needed to try too.
He got his body into the proper stance, and Jim yelled "Go!" Blue took off, and Rin immediately had to fight to keep his butt off the saddle. He locked his knees in place, leaned forward over Blue's back, and Blue ran in a wide circle around the paddock. They made it twice around before Rin's legs gave out and he collapsed backward onto the saddle. He would have kept sliding off the thin leather, but the welcome tingle of Blue's magic snapped into place before that could happen.
We did good this time! Blue crowed happily. We got around twice.
And, despite the aches in his legs, Rin had managed to stay in place. "We did do good this time," Rin replied in agreement. They both turned to look at Jim, who nodded at them.
"We're done for today. Go shower and get ready for dinner. I'll clean up out here." Jim waved them toward the open gate and Blue didn't waste any time heading into the yard. Rin had to wait a moment for Blue's magic to fade before he carefully slid off Blue's back. He was quick to unhook the saddle and bitless bridle and at Jim's nod, he laid them over the fence.
"We're pretty good at this," Rin said to Blue as Blue's form shimmered and his horse form was replaced with his human form. They headed into the house together, where they were greeted by the scent of some sort of meat cooking. Mama would yell if they tried to go into the kitchen to wait for dinner while smelling as rank as they did, so they headed upstairs for a shower first.
Swimming's still more fun, Blue replied grumpily, but he grinned at Rin a second later. I don't mind as long as it's you on my back, and it'll help Mama. One race to save the farm and we can go back to swimming after.
Rin couldn't help smiling back, but then they started taking off their sweaty clothes as the water began to warm in the shower and their excitement over starting to figure racing out turned into a different sort of excitement entirely.
*~*~*
One week later, they were out in the far pasture to train. There was so much more room to run, and Mary and Tildie didn't mind the company. They continued to crop grass in the middle of the wide space even as Blue was running around them.
Blue was doing so much more work than Rin, who had to spend six days a week at his job and could only work with Blue in the evenings and on his lone day off. Rin would hurry home every afternoon aching from a long day walking in circles and pointing drunken patrons in the direction of the nearest bathroom, only to find an equally exhausted Blue had spent the day running in circles too.
There was a lot to Blue's running, though. First, he had to stay in horse form without any evidence of his horns or pointed teeth. Plus, Jim was having Blue tone down the shade of his coat to look a little more normal, which Blue was finding particularly difficult. Never before in his life had Blue needed to perfect his glamor to such an extent. Doing it while running wasn't easy.
It was only on days when Jim had something else he needed to do that Blue had been able to sneak away to terrorize the security guards at the track. Listening to the mostly inane panic on his walkie-talkie combined with the excitement of the patrons made the last few hours of his shifts practically fly by. Rin would then return home, sometimes with Blue in his passenger seat, and Jim would descend on them.
Over the past week, Blue had been able to sneak away twice, and Jim had declared they were both proficient enough to move out to the far pasture.
"You're going to be put into a starting gate," Jim explained as Rin and Blue rested after yet another run around the pasture. Rin was still sitting on Blue's back, but he had his chest resting on Blue's long neck and his arms wrapped around Blue in a hug. "It's a tight fit, so it will feel a bit uncomfortable, but that's how the races start, so you'll both have to live with it. Once all the horses are situated the gates will pop open and you'll have to sprint out of the gate to get in front of all the other horses who will be doing the same."
"We should stay in front of the herd?" Rin asked. Blue was faster than a regular horse thanks to his magic, so Rin thought it might be better to stay in the middle of the pack, where Blue could pace himself easier.
I've been working on running slow while not looking like it, Blue explained.
"It would be better to stay in front," Jim added. "There's too much bumping and jostling in the middle of the pack and trying to win from the back might mean Blue has to resort to too much speed."
Rin knew what Jim wasn't saying. Blue was more than strong enough to withstand a little bumping and shoving, but one hit would no doubt send Rin flying. His weakness was causing Blue to have to work so much harder.
His arms must have involuntarily tightened around Blue at that thought, because Blue whickered at him gently. It's not a problem for me to have to learn to run a little slower just to make sure you're safe.
"I can still feel bad about it," Rin mumbled, his jaw pressed against Blue's neck muffling his words.
I don't feel bad about it, so you shouldn't either. Now, let's run and get this over with. I'm hungry.
Jim apparently agreed, because he stood up from where he had been leaning against the nearby fence and clapped his hands. "One more time around and we'll call it done for the day."
Rin sat up straight in the saddle and let out a heavy breath of air. Blue was right, of course. It was ultimately Blue's decision how the race was going to be run, given he was the one actually doing the work. If he didn't mind having to work a bit harder, then all Rin could do was make it as easy for Blue as possible—and maybe reward him later when they were sharing the shower. He pushed that unhelpful thought from his mind and hurried to get his body into the right position. The sooner they finished this last run, the sooner they would be back at the house in the shower, and the sooner the rather decadent images filling Rin's head could become reality.
*~*~*
Blue wasn't just sleeping. He was practically unconscious, draped over Rin's body. He wasn't even gnawing at Rin's shoulder. In the years Rin had known Blue, he had never seen Blue sleep so deeply.
Which didn't help the fact that Rin had to pee, and Blue was an unmovable blanket lying on top of his bladder.
It took some maneuvering, first carefully pulling his torso out from the grip Blue's arms had around him, and then shimmying his body to free his legs. Somehow he managed it without waking Blue. Rin got both feet on the ground and wandered off toward the bathroom.
That day's training session had been particularly brutal for them both. It had been Rin's lone day off, so Jim had worked them the entire day with only a break for lunch. They hadn't even been able to go swimming, which had made Blue grumble, but they were really starting to get it together. Rin could stay in position for long enough that Jim thought he could make it through an entire race, and Blue was able to run for a while without his glamor slipping once. They just had to fake it long enough to win Mama the money, and they could just about do that now.
Jim had ended the very long day with a wide, conspiratorial grin at them. "I'll enter you in the next short race," he had told them after their last successful run around the pasture. "You're both ready to go. Take the rest of the evening to relax. I want to go have a quick shower before dinner." He'd nodded to them, unlocked the pasture gate, and found the path to head back to the house. Mama was there waiting for him, as was becoming their habit. The relationship she had with Jim was continuing to develop in ways that made Rin grind his teeth.
Rin firmly put that thought out of his mind as he fumbled around the bathroom, still half asleep. Jim's conversation from dinner just a few hours ago was much more interesting to dwell on, anyway.
Jim had explained that the fae heritage Rin had inherited from his father was the reason he had recovered enough to walk without braces and crutches. Rin did vaguely remember a doctor or therapist remarking on how well his recovery was going back when he still had daily physical therapy sessions, but Mama had quickly deflected that line of thought. At the time, Rin had been in a sort of depressed fugue, so he didn't really remember any specifics.
"Have you tried recently?" Rin remembered Jim asking all those weeks ago, when he still hadn't been sure his legs would allow him to stay on Blue's back long enough to win.
Rin hadn't. Blue did all the work when they went riding together. Rin had always let Blue's magic hold him in place and didn't have to do anything to keep them moving. It was an amazingly good shock when Rin realized Jim had been right.
Were Rin's legs magically healed back to the state they were before the accident? Absolutely not. Yet, every day Jim had Rin up on Blue's back, working them both to total exhaustion, Rin felt his riding muscles returning. The muscle memory was there, he only had to regain the actual muscle. The real problem was the fact that his bones were far more brittle, and a fall from Blue's back could seriously injure him again, maybe too much even for his fae heritage to heal. They were being careful, though, and it was far too rewarding to stop now.
Rin finished up in the bathroom and headed back to bed. He crawled under the covers next to Blue and was unsurprised when a moment later Blue rolled over to blanket him again. It was easy to fall right back to sleep and return to dreaming about the race to come.
*~*~*
There were heavy clouds low in the sky when Rin woke up again. Blue was still asleep, so Rin lay still and enjoyed the feeling of Blue's body pressed against his. There wasn't anything sexual about it; rather, it was about comfort and companionship. Rin valued moments like this one even more than the few times they had managed a more carnal morning.
It didn't matter to Mama.
"Get up or there won't be any breakfast!" she called through the door.
Rin sighed and Blue let out a loud snort.
Can I eat her?
Rin laughed. "No Blue, but I smell waffles. You can eat those."
Waffles? Blue lifted his head off Rin's shoulder and sniffed the air. Yummy.
He rolled off Rin with a happy whinny.
*~*~*
Too much running. I like to swim, not run. My legs hurt, my back hurts, and my glamor is tired. All I want to do is relax in my lake with my snack. I can't do that either, though, which is the saddest thing of all. Rin has work. I do go visit him, but he can't leave his post to spend time with me.
I used to be alone all the time in my lake. It was how I preferred it, especially since when someone got too close I knew they might eventually become prey. Rin had changed that, brought me back to a family, so I would run for him even if I would much rather be swimming.
But there was so much running! Go, go, go all the time. Mama's horses like to run. Mary and Tildie run with me when I'm practicing and they're happy. I am not happy about it. But the silly sisters couldn't swim, so maybe liking running wasn't strange to them.
The race has to be coming up soon. I want to be done with running so I can spend all day in my lake with my snack.
Sorry, Blue. You know this will help out Mama and I like riding when I'm working with you.
Most of the day you're not here! Running is only fun with you. I can pretend I'm stealing you away to suck out your bone marrow.
Creepy.
Or suck something else. That would be fun too!
Rin shut his diary quickly, feeling his face flare with heat. Mama had better not ever read his diary. He wouldn't be able to look her in the eye again. Blue had zero shame. But at the same time, Rin really wanted to pick up the pencil Blue had left next to the diary and write Okay underneath Blue's final comment.
To avoid temptation, he pushed his desk chair back and got to his feet. Blue was off practicing with Jim at the moment, which left Rin without much to do. Mama was at work, and he had finished all of his chores. Really, all Rin wanted to do was relax in Blue's lake with Blue. Usually on dark days, Rin could barely find the energy to move from his bed to the couch downstairs. The job was so draining that his lone day off was his only chance to recuperate, and normally it took him the full day to do so. This year, though, he felt much better.
Maybe the extra exercise he was getting working with Blue and Jim in the evenings had strengthened his body to the point that he couldn't enjoy just sitting around. He had hoped writing more in his diary would help, but Blue had kiboshed that idea. He honestly couldn't believe he was considering it, but as he wandered down the stairs he started thinking about possible chores he could get done for Mama.
Jim had mentioned that one of their sheds wasn't going to last the winter. It was easy enough to see which one. The roof was blackened on one side from rot, and the entire building was starting to list slightly. It was still structurally sound for the most part or Mama would have warned Rin away, but that wouldn't be true for much longer. Inside were their gardening tools, which they used in the spring to plant Blue's cucumbers and then put away for the year. All of that would need a new home before the shed could be taken down.
There were rakes, hoes, and shovels hung on the walls. In the center of the shed was their wheelbarrow. Rin piled as much as he could into the wheelbarrow and carefully backed it out of the shed. He dumped its contents in the yard and went back for more.
Once the shed was empty, Rin paused to figure out where he could relocate it all to. The best place for it would probably be one of the empty stalls in the barn they weren't using. Once Blue won his race, Mama would be able to replace the shed entirely, and Rin would move everything back.
He had most of the stuff organized into neat piles when the sound of tires crunching on the drive made him look up. A pickup truck with a single-horse trailer on the back pulled to a stop in the yard, and a burly man hopped out of the cab. He was shorter than Rin, but his shoulders were doubly as wide. His beard was curly and unkempt and reached midway down his chest. It was also almost totally indistinguishable from his hair, which was just as long and unbrushed.
"I've got a horse for you," the man grunted at Rin as he headed to the trailer.
"A horse?" Rin asked, unsure why the man was delivering anything to them.
"Yep. Ole Sheeba here had been wanting a crazy foal of her own, and Jim said Demon Blue was causing problems here. Sheeba'll set him straight really quick, let me tell you."
"Sheeba as in Queen of Sheeba, the horse that came in third in the Whitney last year?" Rin was gaping at the man, certain he was talking to a crazy person. The Whitney was a Grade I stakes race at Saratoga. It was second only to the Travers in races for the entire season. Placing in the Whitney was a big deal for a horse. Jim wouldn't waste a horse like Sheeba on a monster like Demon.
Yet the horse the man led out of the trailer was definitely Sheeba. Her distinctive dappled coat was impossible to miss, the shine of intelligence in her eyes told Rin she knew what she was about, and her sleek muscles said she could run.
"Where do you want her?" the man asked. Rin wordlessly pointed toward the empty paddock, still staring at Sheeba. Mama had Grade I horses before, but not since the accident, and she certainly wouldn't have lent them out as easily as Jim was apparently willing to. Selling those Grade I horses had been the reason she was able to keep the farm for so long on a waitress' salary.
A pair of arms wrapped themselves around Rin's waist.
Why are you staring like that at another horse? Do I have to get jealous?
"No, you don't have to get jealous, Blue," Rin replied with a laugh. "That's Sheeba."
"She'll take a bite out of Demon," Jim said, grinning as he passed them and went to greet the driver. Sheeba was nosing her way around the paddock, getting to know her new accommodations. Rin would have to fill her feed and water bins, but first he wanted to know what Jim was thinking.
"Sheeba and Demon. Are you crazy?" he asked Jim sharply.
Jim was unfazed. "I was thinking about sending Old Man Joe for Mary and Tildie, but I didn't want to presume anything. If your mother likes Sheeba, I'll look into sending Joe down too."
Rin had heard of Old Man Joe too. He had beaten one of Mama's horses in The Jim Dandy Grade II race two years before the accident and hadn't stopped there. He had long been retired, but he would be top-notch breeding stock for another ten years. Mama couldn't say no to a horse like that.
With the bloodlines she had fostered to get Mary and Tildie combined with Old Man Joe, Mama wouldn't just be looking at stakes races. She could actually think about the Travers. Heck, she could send a horse with breeding like that to the Triple Crown if she wanted. That was a horse breeder and trainer's dream. Rin was thinking about million-dollar horses in races with purses well above that. One win or one good sale of a foal, and they would never have to worry about money again.
Rin squeezed Blue's arms where they were still wrapped around him. There was no reason for Jim to be so generous unless he was actually serious about turning his business over to Mama for thirty years. The real question was whether Mama was going to finally capitulate.
The two men finished shaking hands, and the burly one whose name Rin hadn't heard got back in his truck. He turned around on the drive and headed off.
"He could have stayed for a few hours," Rin said tentatively. He was still shocked to see Sheeba's dappled coat prancing around their paddock.
"He doesn't like being away from his clan," Jim said with a shrug. "Wanted to get home before dinner."
He's a lower fairy, a dwarf, Blue explained. Silly diggers. All Rin knew about dwarfs was from animated movies with princesses, but the man did seem to fit the stereotype.
"Lower fairy?" Rin asked. So far he knew about seelie versus unseelie, and that Blue was considered lesser because he was closer to animal than human.
"Means he's not as pretty or as powerful in magic as the fae. Dwarves are fairly insular anyway, but they're distant relations with the drow, so they're willing to work with me." Jim shrugged, but Rin had a strange feeling that Jim was downplaying the importance of his connection.
Whatever. Want to go swimming?
Rin had to feed Sheeba, and he didn't know if Jim wanted them to practice his jockeying first, but Blue was practically vibrating against his back.
Jim just laughed, exactly like Mama would have in the same situation. "I'll make sure Sheeba gets settled. Go have fun."
Blue stepped away from Rin, and his body shimmered for a brief moment before his horse form appeared. Rin climbed on, able to hoist himself onto Blue's back without the aid of Blue's magic for the first time ever, and they headed off to Blue's lake.
*~*~*
Mama asked me if I was nervous. I tried laughing it off, but the honest answer is yes. Very much so.
I'm fine riding horses. I'm fine with Blue. Riding as a jockey in a race is a bit more than I am honestly ready for. Blue will be the one in charge. He'll be running as the horse in the race and making all the decisions like a jockey. I'm just there because Blue can't run without a jockey on his back.
Will my legs hold out?
What if I fall? I'll get hurt and we won't win the race, we won't get Mama's name back out there, and we won't win the money we need.
What if I hurt Blue? That would be completely unacceptable.
I have to keep reminding myself that all I need to do is hold on. Don't let my feet fall out of the stirrups, don't let my hands fall off the reins, and don't let my body fall off Blue's back. It's not nearly as much to focus on as what Blue has learned.
Jim signed Blue up for a Monday race. It's a non-claiming maiden race for yearlings, which Blue is pretending to be. The whole thing is illegal. Both Mama and Jim could get banned from horse racing forever if they're caught faking a horse's papers.
The purse isn't particularly huge for the race in question, but Mama bet good deal of what's left of her savings on the race. First place will only win a percentage, and then what's left will go to second, third, and fourth place. Mama could walk home with only a few hundred from Blue winning the race, but she should have closer to thirty thousand from betting on him. Her original five thousand dollars, plus the fact that Blue's morning line odds aren't looking spectacular, will mean a big payout at the betting booths.
One glance at Blue's pedigree no doubt has bettors running in the opposite direction. Jim set it up so a completely unknown and untested horse is Blue's sire, and very few want to bet on something so uncertain. Blue chose Mary as his dam for the paperwork, but she never broke out of maiden, despite her pedigree. Mama's name next to Blue's on the racing form will raise some eyebrows, but she's been out of the picture for so long people have no doubt forgotten about her strength as owner and trainer. The odds for Blue I last saw were seventy-six to one. Mama could win a lot of money off of Blue if he wins.
When he wins.
I'm rambling. My poor diary is filling with lines of useless text. I apologize, Blue, that you have to read this (since I know you will eventually steal my diary again), but you're not here. Mama drove you to the track a few hours ago. You're spending the night in horse form in an uncomfortable stall. I might have a nice bed to sleep in, but without you here I don't honestly feel like sleeping.
I will see you tomorrow afternoon in the paddock before our race. Until then, I guess I'll try to sleep.
Rin had taken the day off work. It wasn't hard. He had just gone into the officer's room where the captain in charge of roll call held court and informed them he would be out on Monday. The captain had written that down in his big book. Hopefully that message was then passed along to Freed, although chances were Rin's name would still be yelled at roll call and he would then be marked absent until someone thought to actually check that captain's log.
One hand did not talk to the other at the Saratoga Race Course.
Even Rin's thoughts were rambling. He parked his car in the usual lot, climbed through the broken fence and jaywalked across the street. The track was never busy on Mondays. This time he showed his jockey badge to the guard at the service gate, who didn't recognize Rin without the terrible uniform on and jumped to let him into the track with far more deference than Rin deserved.
The horses for the first race were walking down the horse path when Rin got to the crossing at Gate A. He waited patiently among the patrons and crossed when the path was clear again. He followed the horse path along the fence—the opposite side of the yard he usually patrolled—until he reached the jockey house. Jim was waiting for him when Rin stepped inside.
The red shirt Jim was wearing clashed terribly with the brown shade of skin his glamor gave him, but that was the uniform the valets wore, and Jim had designated himself as Rin's helper for this part of the race. Mama was with Blue.
"Let me find the sergeant here," Jim said after clapping Rin on the shoulder.
The woman he brought over a few seconds later was one of the sergeants who stood at roll call with Rin. The jockey escorts sector had the same roll call as Rin's sector, so he knew Sergeant Val's face, even though he hadn't met her. She seemed like a nice enough lady, and there hadn't yet been any complaints or firings out of the jockey escorts this season—a record—so she must've known how to do her job correctly.
"This is a new jockey. He needs an escort to first aid," Jim explained.
Sergeant Val nodded, then turned to look at the milling crowd of guards. "Apple, do you have a jockey this race?"
"Nope," a girl replied with a grin. "You want me to run him over?"
"And bring him back," Sergeant Val added pointedly.
Apple nodded and waved her hand toward the back of the jockey house. The building itself was old and split into two parts. The left half of the building was the men's changing room and the silks room in the back. The right half was administrative offices and a smaller changing room for the few female jockeys. The middle was open, and Apple led Rin through the divide and out a back gate Rin had never noticed before.
First aid was located on the first floor of the grandstand directly behind the carousel. Rin had directed patrons there before for Band-Aids and such but had never been there himself. He found it ironic that he could walk from the parking lot to the jockey house on his own, but he had to be escorted from the jockey house to first aid. Definitely weird.
Apple held the door for him when they reached first aid and then settled into a chair by the door while Rin explained to the receptionist why he was there. He was led into a back room where a nurse walked in holding a sterile cup.
"We have your latest physical on file and it looks good," she said as she passed him the cup and gestured to the nearby bathroom. Jim must have taken out any mention of the accident, or at the very least had forged a doctor's note saying he was okay to ride. All the track needed at the moment was a drug test.
Rin did his business and returned the filled cup to the nurse. She waved him toward the door, so he went back to Apple. They walked to the jockey house together, where Jim took Rin in hand and led him into the men's locker room.
The uniform for a jockey consisted of an undershirt followed by a safety vest with his silks on top. Mama's silks were always blue and green stripes, but for Blue, they had gone with navy blue and baby blue stripes. Rin had compression shorts on his legs with the mandatory white pants over them. On his feet went the most uncomfortable black riding boots he had ever worn. They went almost to his knees and looked like cheap plastic, but they were extremely expensive.
The majority of the jockeys were from Mexico and South and Central American countries, and they chatted in Spanish with the occasional bit of English thrown in. All Rin could really stay focused on was how he had to remember to bend his knees in order to stay on Blue's back.
Jim stepped back to study Rin in his uniform and nodded like he was pleased with what he saw.
"You look the part. You'll get a few more pounds because you're an apprentice jockey, so we don't have to worry about weight either. Let me get the saddle together and we'll be good to go."
Jim stepped away for a moment to putter around the cubby Rin had been given for the day. The door opened and the jockeys from the last race came inside. Most of them were covered head-to-toe in the muck from the dirt track, but since Rin and Blue were running in the grass, they didn't have to worry about that. The jockeys hurried to pull their dirty clothes off and wash off in the showers. Their valets set out fresh pants and silks for them.
"Haven't seen you before?" the man using the cubby next to Rin's remarked.
"I'm new," Rin explained.
The jockey grinned at him. "Welcome, then. It's a wild ride, but I love it."
"That's why I'm here," Rin replied with a shrug, hoping his words sounded sincere.
The overhead speakers crackled to life, and the voice of the clerk of scales sounded through the room. "All out, check, check, all out."
Rin smiled goodbye to the friendly jockey and joined the group of dressed jockeys heading outside. The scale was in the open area between the locker room and the administrative office. Jim was waiting for Rin there. He thrust a saddle and straps into Rin's hands, and Rin got onto the scale when it was his turn.
The heaviest part of the saddle was the irons, or the stirrups, but for Blue, they were made of pure silver so they didn't burn him. They jangled against Rin's side as he climbed onto the scale. It read one-twenty-six, which was Rin's weight without the heavy saddle he was holding. Jim winked when Rin glanced at him to see if it was right.
"Three," Jim called. The clerk input the number and Rin's weight into the computer and then Jim took the saddle from Rin and handed over a whip as Rin climbed down so another jockey could take his place on the scale. Jim helped Rin pin the number three to Rin's sleeve. "Come out to the paddock with the rest of the jockeys," he instructed.
Jim took the saddle to a nearby table to get it situated with the foam pad and the blue saddle blanket with a white number three emblazoned on it, then headed out of the jockey room.
Rin swallowed hard and leaned against a nearby table with pretended nonchalance. His stomach was in knots, roiling and rumbling unhappily. All he needed to do was stay on Blue's back. Blue would be doing all the hard work and decision-making, yet Rin couldn't help being nervous.
There was so much riding on this one race. Mama's money and reputation, Jim's hopes for his horses, and even Rin's confidence in himself. He had been injured, useless for anything important, for so long. He hadn't felt as strong as he did at this moment in ages and one mistake could end all that in seconds.
"All out for the fifth race! All out!" the clerk of scales called into the loudspeaker. Rin took a deep breath to steady himself while the jockeys filed out of the locker room. Some were crossing themselves while others snapped their whips to warm up. Rin followed them as they walked out of the jockey area and into the crowd of patrons. A uniformed security guard was walking with Rin as they all headed to the nearby horse path. Rin had never worked as a jockey escort before, but they were a tight-knit bunch. They usually hung out together before and after their shifts, unknowingly excluding other guards like Rin who would have enjoyed a night out with people his age.
Rin pushed those thoughts from his mind. The dirt under his feet was familiar. He had walked in this same path with his mother all those years ago and even now as a guard he occasionally got to take the path to get somewhere. He had even been in the paddock recently for the Diana Grade I race. That didn't stop his nerves from making his hands shake. He gripped his whip tighter and walked into the paddock itself.
He caught sight of Blue immediately and headed over to him. Each horse had a designated area to walk around in; Blue was standing next to a tree with a number three nailed to it. He looked amazingly normal. His current shade of blue was perfect, and there was no sign of fangs or horns. His hooves appeared to be shod, although Rin knew that was an illusion too. The saddle was on Blue's back, and Mama was loosely holding the lead attached to Blue's halter.
Rin threw his arms around Blue's neck, holding tight for a brief moment.
This is gonna be fun, Blue insisted. We're gonna run really fast and make all the other horses eat our dust.
"You're going to keep to the speed the race demands, Blue," Jim admonished sharply. "No faster than a regular horse can run."
Yeah, yeah. Blue let out a heavy snort of air through his nose. I'll remember.
"Even with your magic to hold Rin in place, make sure not to jostle him too much. Rin has made amazing progress, but he's not back to full strength just yet."
"They'll both do fine," Mama cut in. "Blue knows how to run, and Rin knows how to ride. I have no worries." She sounded sincere. As if to punctuate Mama's words, one horse let out an aggressive squeal as he was led past Blue toward his own marked tree.
That one doesn't like me, Blue grumbled.
"He just knows you're going to beat him," Rin replied, picking up on Mama and Jim's jovial moods and running with it. He was with Blue, so nothing could go wrong. Nerves had no place here.
"Line them up, please," one of the men in charge of the paddock called. They obeyed, leaving the circle around the tree and joining the rest of the horses in the show ring that encircled the paddock and led out to the track. They were all lined up by the number on their saddle blanket. Rin, Mama, and Jim walked alongside Blue as he followed the two horse. All the horses stopped for a long moment, and their hotwalkers had them circle.
The same man was at the head of the horses. "Riders up!" he yelled.
"Ready?" Mama said softly. Rin nodded. He reached up to grip the long reins high on Blue's back and jumped upward with one foot held back in the air. Mama caught his foot and used her leverage to toss him up and onto Blue's back. Rin landed neatly in the saddle and felt the familiar shiver of Blue's magic run through him.
Blue walked behind the two horse as Rin carefully fit his feet into the irons. He checked his balance and got situated in the saddle before picking up the reins to knot them to the correct length.
Do I have to lift my tail too? Blue asked grumpily. Since I'm pretending to be a real horse?
Rin looked up just in time to see the two horse lift his tail to poo.
"Please keep your tail right where it is, Blue," Rin insisted. Mama let out a snort of laughter at their side.
The track came into view quickly. An outrider was waiting for them as Mama unhooked her lead, but Mama quickly waved him off. Blue could warm up on his own. The bugle started playing its signature dun dun dum dundundum dundundum dum dum dum duuummm.
Blue trotted onto the dirt track, and Rin could feel his disgust in the way both Blue's skin and magic shivered underneath Rin's legs.
This is gross, Blue whined. The dirt track looked like regular brown dirt, but after one hundred and fifty years of horses lifting their tails on it, Rin knew Blue was right. It was pretty gross.
"That's why we're running on the grass turf," Rin reminded him. "Let's get warmed up."
Blue whinnied in agreement and picked up his pace. He purposefully jumped around and spun in a tight circle to ensure that between his magic and Rin's tenuous grip, Rin would stay on his back. They reached the starting gate ahead of the rest of the horses and crossed over onto the turf track to wait.
There were a dozen people in red shirts and black safety vests waiting by the gate. One of them approached Rin and Blue.
"Blue can get in the gate without help," Rin explained when the man reached for Blue's bridle. Rin knew Blue allowed Rin to ride him and had tolerated the necessity of Mama holding him, but he wouldn't allow a total stranger to do that. The man looked skeptical but stepped away to grab another horse as the rest reached them.
The one horse squealed aggressively as he was led past Blue and into the gate. The two joined him and then Blue stepped forward to follow. The starting gate was a long contraption that had to be pulled around the track by a tractor. It was the same odd shade of green as the jockey room, and each individual gate was just large enough to hold a horse and rider. Blue shivered unhappily at the close quarters.
Hurry up, he grumbled. I wanna run already!
It didn't take too long for all seven horses to be loaded. There was a moment of silence as anticipation grew. Rin took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. His was shaking slightly and his stomach was sour with nerves, but his hands were still firm on the reins. He could do this—they could do this.
With a shout and a loud bell ringing overhead, the gates popped open. All the horses surged forward, urged by their riders, and Blue quickly leaped to the front.
The snorting and panting of horses, the jockeys urging them on, and the powerful thump-thump-thump-thump as hooves pounded into the grass sounded around him, almost in time to the heavy beat of Rin's pounding heart. Blue didn't speak; he was focused on running and staying in front of the herd while not going too fast. Rin held on, his knees flexing in time with Blue and his hands tight around the reins.
He could see the fence line to their right and the grass below them vanishing beneath Blue's hooves as they flew along the track. Behind him, he could hear more horses snorting, their heavy breaths sounding along with the beat of their gallop. The fence line curved sharply as they rounded the turn and headed into the top of the stretch. Rin's thighs were burning and Blue's sides were heaving beneath him, but the butterflies and the shaking were both gone. Rin was flying and if he had the breath for it he felt like laughter would be bubbling up. This was so much better than running in circles around the paddock and he couldn't stop the wide grin on his face.
They reached the edge of the grandstand still in the lead. The wall of sound as hundreds—if not thousands—of patrons all cheered and screamed for their favorite to go just a bit faster hit Rin and reverberated around them as they headed toward the finish line.
And then it was over.
Rin hadn't heard it over the horses, but he knew from experience what must be have gone through the overhead speakers in the grandstand and clubhouse:
"And they're off! Kelpie Blue jumps in front with Destinys Dream right behind. Overunder is strong in third. Lolly Pop Kid is next in line with Hoppy Kitten, Geeserunner, and Longshot Attempt in the rear as they come up the backstretch. And Kelpie Blue continues to lead the pack. Overunder has moved up to second as Destinys Dream is running out of steam. They've reached the top of the stretch and here comes Longshot Attempt! Longshot Attempt is surging on the outside. He's passed Geeserunner and Hoppy Kitten, but no one can catch up to Kelpie Blue! It's Kelpie Blue as they come to the line! It's Kelpie Blue! Taking the race wire to wire. Followed by Overunder, Longshot Attempt, and Lolly Pop Kid in fourth."
It had taken just over a minute to run the race. Rin let his butt settle into the saddle as Blue began to slow. His legs ached and his hands were clenched tightly around the reins. Magic tingled up through the saddle under his butt, pinning him in place on Blue's back, so Rin finally let his body relax, but his head was still flying.
That was…it was…wow! "We did it!" Rin crowed excitedly.
I was fastest, Blue agreed excitedly. He didn't even sound out of breath.
"Yes, you were!" They had done it. Rin had stayed on Blue's back and they had won the race. He could barely believe it, but now Mama would be able to start rebuilding both her farm and her reputation.
They turned to head back to the finish line. The one horse danced sideways as Blue went by, but they both ignored him. Rin could see Mama and Jim waiting just in front of the winner's circle. Blue hurried to meet up with them.
Ta da! Blue struck a pose and let out a happy whinny.
"Congratulations!" Mama crowed. She was holding a small bucket filled with ice water. She dipped a sponge into the water before handing it up to Rin. Blue let out a happy shiver as Rin doused his neck.
Mama took the sponge back and then waved for Blue to head into the winner's circle.
The winner's circle was supposed to be one of the nicest areas at the track. The fence around it was iron painted black, and the flower boxes hanging from it overflowed with blooms. The floor was fake brick tile that could easily be hosed down if a horse made a mess while standing on it.
Blue pranced inside and then stood still while Mama and Jim stood next to them and a picture was taken.
"In the winner's circle we have Kelpie Blue, owned and trained by Lizzy Roark Stables, and ridden by Rin Roark," the announcer called overhead.
"I need to get weighed again," Rin explained to Blue once the announcer finished. The magic holding Rin in place dissipated as Blue let out a sigh.
We'll run more at home, Blue said.
Rin swung one leg over Blue's side and slid to the ground. He unhooked the saddle with Jim's help and carried it across the winner's circle to the scale.
"You have to go back to the barn for now, Blue," Mama called. Blue sighed heavily from over Rin's shoulder but obediently turned to follow Mama out of the winner's circle.
The last of the racehorses were being led past the winner's circle toward the top of the stretch, where they could leave the track. They were all still blowing heavily through their noses, snorting loudly as their nostrils vibrated with every breath. Blue was barely winded, but Rin's thighs were burning. He had managed to stay in the proper jockey's riding stance the entire time, and as his adrenaline faded, he was starting to feel it.
Rin was stepping off the scale, the saddle held out for Jim to take from him, when he heard Blue yell.
The one horse was just dropping his rear hooves back to the ground with his handlers yanking him away, and Blue was rolling back to his feet when Rin looked over.
"Blue!" Rin yelled. He dropped the saddle, missing Jim's arms entirely, and hurried over to Blue's side.
His hide was rippling. It suddenly looked like its more normal shade of navy than blued.
"Keep it together, Blue," Jim said soothingly from just behind Rin.
But it hurts! Blue whined. He was only standing on three legs, holding his left foreleg in the air.
Rin reached his side at the same time as Jim and reached out to gently stroke Blue's neck. Jim wrapped one arm under Blue's chest as if he could hold Blue's weight.
"We've got to walk off the track," Jim hissed under his breath as two people Rin knew were veterinarians approached. "If you get put in the horse ambulance, they won't let you go without a full exam." And Blue was barely holding onto his glamor at the moment.
"Come on, Blue, we just need to get off the track," Rin added encouragingly.
"I'll get the trailer," Mama called. "Meet you there." She ran off with Rin's saddle in hand. Blue took one halting step and then another as Rin kept petting Blue's neck. It was all he could do. Blue needed to walk off on his own to keep the vets from taking charge. Every step with his injured leg caused another pained shiver to run through him, but with Jim's support, he was doing it.
"Come on, Blue. You can do it." Rin was murmuring that under his breath over and over. The winner's circle was far from the horse path at the top of the stretch where Mama could meet them. Blue limped the length of the grandstand slowly, but he did it.
Mama's familiar car with the horse trailer hooked to the back was waiting for them at the gate. Mama was arguing with a vet who also had the horse ambulance pulled up.
"I'm bringing him to my own vet," Mama said. "The NYRA vets euthanize first, X-ray second, and I won't be letting you anywhere near this horse."
The back of the horse trailer was open, and Jim helped Blue inside. Rin climbed in with him as Blue sank to the ground and Jim shut the door behind them. The truck started up a moment later, so Mama must have won her argument.
It took a few moments for Mama to navigate the horse path, but once they had turned onto Union Avenue, Rin finally relaxed.
"Okay, Blue. You can let go now."
With a sob, Blue let his glamor go. Rin expected to see his water horse body appear, but instead Blue took his human shape. His skin was still blue and his ears pointed. There were horns on his head and his hair was thick and navy blue. Blue wrapped his good arm around Rin's waist and buried his face in Rin's silks.
Ow. Owwie. Ow. Blue sobbed.
"What can I do to help?" Rin asked, trying not to sound frantic. How did he help Blue get better? In all their years of living together, it had always been Rin who was injured; this turnaround was not fun in the least.
Blue didn't answer, just continued crying. Rin held him tightly, careful of the arm, and desperately wished there was something he could do. Rin wanted to take the pain away or help set the broken bone. He wanted Blue to get better, to not have a broken arm at all.
The drive didn't take too long. Soon enough, Rin felt the familiar bumps as they transferred from smooth pavement to the packed dirt of the driveway. Mama stopped the car in front of the house, and a few moments later she and Jim were pulling open the trailer doors to let Blue and Rin out.
Blue slowly unwound his body from Rin's and staggered to his feet. His arm was still tucked protectively against his chest, but his cheeks were beginning to dry. Rin hurried to stand up as well so he could support Blue if Blue needed him. They both climbed out of the back of the trailer and stood blinking in the afternoon sunlight.
"Let me see, Blue," Jim said gently. He held out one hand toward Blue but waited for Blue to slowly uncurl his injured arm and hold it out for Jim to see.
Jim very carefully ran his fingers down Blue's arm, prodding where Blue had gotten kicked. Every hiss and whimper of pain made Rin flinch, but Blue was being remarkably stoic about it.
"I could have sworn your arm was completely broken, Blue," Jim said. He sounded contemplative and slightly concerned. "I was trying to figure out a way to convince you to come Underhill with me to go see a healer, but right now I'm only sensing the remnants of a hairline fracture."
My snack told me to get better, Blue explained proudly.
"Did he?" Jim replied. He turned toward Rin, looking even more curious. "Lizzy, do you happen to know what type of fae Rin's father was?"
Mama sighed. "No. He looked human enough at the time, but Blue can make himself look completely human when he wants, so who knows what he really looked like. I was with him three months before he was called away, and then I waited another four months for him to come back until I couldn't hide the pregnancy any longer and had to leave."
"Could be one of Dian's brood," Jim murmured, looking sharply at Rin. "Do you remember what he looked like?"
Mama laughed. "I do, but he's hard to describe. I think that was part of his glamor, actually, that I wouldn't entirely remember. But I know Rin has his eyes."
"Blue eyes do run in Dian Cecht's line," Jim replied.
"Who's Dian Cecht?" Rin asked, mangling the Celtic, but wanting to know more about his father.
"Dian Cecht and his offspring are some of the greatest healers the seelie sidhe have ever known. Dian returned Nuada's lost arm to him and then Miach, Dian's son, perfected the arm so Nuada might return to the throne. There's no telling which of his line fathered you, Rin, but you did somehow manage to heal Blue."
My snack is amazing, Blue added firmly. He made the pain go away.
"Well, mostly," Jim agreed with a glance at how stiffly Blue was still holding his arm. "You won't be changing into your horse form for a while. Too much weight on that foreleg could re-fracture it."
No more riding? Blue asked, sounding disappointed. What about swimming?
Jim laughed, but Rin knew just how serious a question that was. Not being able to swim would be catastrophic for Blue. Anyone who knew Blue knew that, and Jim wasn't any different.
"As long as you're careful, you can swim." Jim patted Blue on the shoulder one last time before turning his focus back to Rin. "And it seems like I need to go Underhill to ask Dian Cecht some uncomfortable questions."
"Are you staying for dinner?" Mama asked. She brushed her hair out of her face, and Rin realized just how disheveled she looked. She must have sprinted to get the car to the horse path in time and then had sat in the front of the car with no idea how injured Blue was in the back. She had lived through one child severely injured once, and the idea that Blue might be hurt too must have really hurt her.
Jim must have seen what Rin was seeing. He smiled slightly and nodded. "I'll stay for dinner and head back Underhill afterward. And I'll call someone to pick up our cars and such from the track."
Rin had no doubt Jim was a good guy. Even if Rin didn't know everything about Jim, including most of his past, there was no denying that fact. He was good for Mama, and Rin could finally put aside his jealousy and let Mama smile back at Jim without interruption.
"Come on, Blue. We should get ice on your arm before it swells," Rin said. He wrapped an arm over Blue's shoulder, glad when Blue pressed close with a soft whinny, and headed inside the house.
*~*~*
Blue is still in pain and I feel so bad for him! I don't know what to do to make him better except keep thinking healing thoughts. That's what worked in the horse trailer, so right now I'm lying in bed with him, thinking desperate thoughts about bones knitting together. Blue keeps whimpering slightly in his sleep, so I know it's not working any more.
Maybe there's a limit to what my healing power can do?
I have no idea if what Jim said about my father is true. I didn't have time to look up Dian Cecht (Did I spell that right? I think I did...) on the computer. Sure, I've always wondered about my father and lately I've been suspecting he's someone like Blue, but I never thought he might be a full Sidhe. Not once. And the idea that I can do magic is crazy, but Blue insists I healed his arm.
It's a lot to take in, to be honest. It's easier to write those worries into this diary for Blue to read later rather than say anything out loud. It's also easier to keep thinking thoughts about Blue getting better rather than about what mysterious powers I might have.
Mama might be a cowboy, but I certainly am not.
I always thought I was a cowboy. Even when my body was broken and I couldn't leave my bed for months, I still thought of myself as one. It's not fun at all to suddenly learn that maybe I'm part fish, like Blue.
I am not a fish!
Rin saw what Blue had written in the margin next to his latest diary entry and let out a snort of laughter. He turned toward Blue, who was still curled under the covers in bed, wondering when in the middle of the night Blue had gotten up to read and annotate his diary.
"You're not a fish," Rin finally said.
Blue slowly pulled the covers away from his face with his good arm. He was pouting at Rin.
Not a fish, he insisted.
"You're a horse," Rin insisted back. "Just one that can breathe underwater like a fish."
Blue growled playfully at Rin. I am not like a fish.
"You have a strong tail like a fish, and webbed fins like a fish," Rin continued teasingly, holding back laughter only by biting his lip.
Blue growled again and lunged for Rin. They fell onto the floor in a tangle of limbs, Blue's broken arm still carefully pressed to his chest where it wouldn't get bumped. Blue ended up sitting on Rin's stomach. He leaned over Rin so their faces were inches apart.
Not. A. Fish.
Rin couldn't stop the laughter that finally escaped him. Blue let out a whinnying chuckle of his own, and then fused their lips together.
Magic tingled between them, the familiar pull of Blue's sticky magic keeping their lips tight, and Rin arched into it gladly. Blue shifted around until he was lying on top of Rin, and their lips separated with a spark of power that did evil things to Rin's body. He was hard and could feel Blue's length pressing against his thigh.
Blue licked up Rin's neck, nibbling along his chin, and all Rin could do was gasp and thrust his hips upward to rub his body against Blue, who obligingly pressed down to provide the desperately needed friction.
So delicious, my pretty snack, Blue murmured. He took Rin's ear between his teeth and bit down lightly before licking over the aching spot with his tongue. Rin groaned. His hands had ended up on Blue's back at some point, and he obligingly dragged his nails down Blue's spine. Blue whinnied and his hips jerked against Rin's.
Rin was so close, and each time their hips pressed together, he let out a little gasp. Blue ground their hips together harder and pressed his face into the crease between Rin's neck and shoulder. There was a brief flash of pain as Blue bit deep, but his hips rubbed against Rin in just the right way and Rin came, hard. His hips jerked involuntarily against Blue's pressing body, and Blue abruptly pulled his teeth out of Rin's shoulder and arched his spine backward to press his groin tighter against Rin as he came too.
It took a while for clarity to return to Rin's frazzled brain, but when he dropped back down to earth he found Blue still lying on him, contentedly licking at the blood seeping from Rin's neck.
"You bit me?" Rin asked. His voice wasn't quite right, still low with remembered pleasure and his words half sighed instead of spoken.
Blue rumbled happily. You are the best, most delicious snack ever. He licked more blood off Rin's neck and then pulled back enough that Rin could see his face. It means you're mine and no one else can steal you for their snack.
Blue bent down for a kiss, copper-flavored and slightly tangy in a way Rin had never tasted before. It wasn't a bad taste, at all. In fact, Rin wouldn't mind tasting more of his own blood on Blue's lips.
"I should bite you next time," Rin murmured against Blue's lips, before arching his neck upward to press them firmly together.
Blue purred, but before he could answer, Mama's voice rang up the stairs.
"Breakfast in five, boys. Get down here or don't get fed."
"So much for cuddling," Rin sighed, but he still tilted his head to the side so Blue could lick the last of the blood away before taking one last, lingering, and blood-soaked kiss.
Blue peeled himself off Rin, their damp pajama pants stuck together where the come had started to dry.
"Ugh, let's get cleaned up really quickly," Rin grumbled even as Blue whined lowly. "We'll feed ourselves, feed the horses, and see if Mama will let us escape to the lake."
We can't ride, Blue grumbled with an unhappy glance down at where Jim had tightly wrapped his forearm before heading Underhill last night.
"So we'll walk. And we'll swim. It'll be fun." Rin grinned at Blue and went to go find clean pants and a high-necked shirt to cover the bite mark on his neck.
I like fun, Blue replied, his voice low and rumbling. Rin couldn't help licking his lips as his body tightened in anticipation. They hadn't had sex in Blue's lake yet, but maybe that would change this afternoon. Rin couldn't wait.