CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

 

 

“MEWER.”

“Mwowr.”

“Mee-owww.”

Hmm. That was one too many meows. Billy opened one eye. Black furry face. Orange furry face. Red hair with green eyes.

“Good morning, Glory. Time to get up and face the firing squad.”

Holy shit. The test! Billy sat straight up in the bed, sending two cats in opposite directions and making Shaz laugh.

“No worries. We have just enough time to have breakfast and make the drive. Coffee’s made. Eggs are on. The boys have been fed. Take your shower and then call me, okay?”

“Why?”

He grinned. “You’ll see.”

Shaz left the bedroom trailing cats. Oh shit. Billy wiped a hand over his face. He’d actually slept. Couldn’t believe it. But now the terror tremors vibrated in his stomach like a sick purr. He shuddered, crawled out of bed, and dragged himself to the shower.

Under the hot water in Shaz’s shower fit for a king, he leaned his head against the cool wall and let the multiple jets rain down on his back. Had to admit, he felt scared, but he felt good. Jesus, what had Shaz done to him last night?

He shaved, scrubbed his sensitive and tingly butt, and then stepped out onto the heated stone floor. There stood Shaz, holding up the door frame, with his arms crossed and an expression that had left evil behind a few smirks ago.

“Uh, what’s up?”

Shaz flipped one of his arms out holding a—butt plug! Half baby’s pacifier, half dildo, the thing glowed iridescent pink and had a big curved bulb on the end.

“What? No.”

“Oh yes.” Shaz walked toward him with his beautiful sway, waggling the plug in his fingers. “You’ve already proved that you can slam dunk, pardon the sports reference, this test no matter what distracts you or how much hell breaks loose. Any man who can calculate tile requirements while having an orgasm has got this test conquered. You just need a little distraction. And a reminder of the goodies that await you as soon as you get out of that test.” Shaz stretched up on tiptoe and kissed Billy softly on the lips. “Bend over.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

What the hell. Billy held onto the chair in front of Shaz’s dressing table and bent. Shaz snuggled up beside him and slipped some cool gel on Billy’s pucker. “Are you sore?”

“Just sensitive,”

“Oooh good, I love sensitive.” He slipped his slender finger into the hole and Billy sighed. God, he couldn’t wait to get fucked. Then the finger popped out and something very cool and clearly plastic took its place. Pressure. Pressure. Billy closed his eyes tight. Pop. In it went.

It felt good. Funny. Weird. Good.

Shaz stepped back.

Billy looked at him. “Uh, what now?”

“Now you get dressed, eat your breakfast quickly, and we go.”

“Like this?”

“Yes. That’s the plan.”

Okay, so maybe it would be kind of fun to ride to Norwalk with the butt plug in. It was only about forty minutes. No big deal.

He dressed quickly in his newest pair of nice jeans and a dress shirt. He even added a sports coat. Might as well look like an executive—sort of. The real treat was pulling on the slim jeans over the soft briefs and getting a zing in his balls from the plug. At breakfast, he shifted from butt cheek to butt cheek as he downed his eggs and toast and got a grin from Shaz. As they headed for the door, Shaz turned to the fuzzy parade following them. “Wish your daddy good luck, guys.”

“Daddy?” He tried to raise an eyebrow the way Shaz did.

Shaz knelt and gave a quick pat to the smooth fur. “Hey, I think we’re kitty daddies, don’t you?”

Billy’s heart did a little dance, and so did his ass as he crouched beside Shaz and put his hand over Shaz’s on Clancy’s back. The sweetness of this sophisticated man always amazed and surprised him. “Yes, I think we are. Be good, guys. Put your paws together for me. I need all the help I can get.”

Shaz gazed into Billy’s eyes. “No. You got this one.”

Billy stood and walked into the garage. Wish Shaz would stop saying that. Shit, it made him twice as nervous to be loaded down with expectations.

Shaz took the wheel, maneuvered to the freeway, and they drove quietly for nearly forty minutes. Music played so it wasn’t too awkward. Billy’s head throbbed, but not half as much as the plug in his ass. He shifted from cheek to cheek. Damn. It was cute and all that, but he didn’t need this distraction. He gripped his hands into fists, then relaxed and gripped again.

His phone rang. Billy pulled out the phone. “Oh shit, my mother.”

Shaz looked over. “You going to answer?”

“I better.”

Click. “Hi, welcome back.”

“Don’t give me that ‘welcome back,’ Billy Ballew. We’ve been home for a week and haven’t seen you.”

“Sorry. I’ve been busy.”

“It’s a shame when a man is too busy to visit his aging parents.”

He snorted. “Come on, Mother, you’re certainly not aging fast unless the Caribbean sun was very hard on you.”

She had the grace to chuckle. “I’d love to see you and tell you about the trip. Sunday dinner. Tomorrow. You’re expected.”

Oh crap. “Yes, ma’am.”

“See you then.” She hung up.

He sighed and put the phone back in his pocket, which gave him a fizz of electricity up his backside.

Shaz hit the blinkers and pulled off at the exit in Norwalk. “She sounded like her usual charming self.” He grinned.

“Just what I needed today.”

“You knew she was back. You couldn’t put it off forever. She wants to see you?”

“Yeah. Tomorrow. Crap. One more thing!” He shifted again on the seat, half trying to escape the tingling and half chasing it. “Want to stop at a gas station so I can go to the head and take out the plug?”

“No.”

“What do you mean no?”

“You’re not taking it out.”

“Shaz, come on. This is important. Not a sex game.”

Shaz glanced at him, then back at the slowing traffic. “That’s the point. It’s not all that fucking serious. You know the answers back and forward. You could teach this test, Billy. It’s just a pissant little technicality standing between you and what you want to do in life. Don’t give it so much importance.” He turned right into a parking lot, found a space, and stopped the car.

Billy glanced at his watch. “We don’t have a lot of time.”

“Then it’s a good thing we’re here, right?”

Billy looked around. “Here? This is the place for the test?”

“Right over there.” Shaz pointed to a building and turned off the car. “I brought my books”—he pointed at his e-reader—“and some food, so take as much time as you need.”

Billy stared at the dashboard. “What if I can’t pass?”

Shaz touched his cheek. “Then we’ll engage in some more of our very enjoyable practice until you do pass, right? This is No. Big. Deal. You’ve slayed dragons of monstrous proportions.” He counted on his fingers. “Realized you’re gay. Came out to your construction crew. Charmed the pants off the most important lady of fashion. Conquered the Little League.” He put his hand back on the wheel. “This is just a mouse we need to kick out of our bed. Today? Next year? One of these days, we’ll get him.”

“I want to pass.”

“That’s important.”

“Maybe I can pass for you,” Jesus, he couldn’t stop shaking.

Shaz touched his cheek with his slim fingers. The same fingers he’d pushed so exquisitely into Billy’s hole last night. “I don’t care if you pass for Mickey Mouse, just get it the fuck out of your way.” He grinned. “Enjoy your inner massage. Go get ’em, my knight.”

Billy gazed at Shaz. The beautiful green eyes, those full lips, that lovely cock he promised to shove in Billy’s ass when he passed. “So I don’t get fucked until I pass, right?”

“Correct. You do the fucking until you pass.” Billy inhaled and started to turn toward the door. Shaz grabbed his arm and he turned, jumped from the little lightning bolt in his butt, and stared into Shaz’s eyes. He looked totally serious. “But if you never pass the test, I will love you not one tiny particle less.”

Billy’s lips parted on their own. Did Shaz just say he loved him? “Do you—?”

“Love you? Yes. I was marking time in my life until I met you.”

Some little piece of the puzzle called life clicked into place. “Me too.”

“Yes. We belong together.”

“Hard to believe.”

“Yes, but you do believe it, don’t you?”

Holy shit. “Yes.”

“Good. Get your ass in there.” He grinned. “Literally.”

Billy started to laugh. He opened the car door and walked across the parking lot to the building, still chuckling. When he got inside, showed his acceptance papers, his fingerprints, and background check, his whole body froze. Like ice. So what?

He surrendered his personal objects and went to the computer. His hands shook so hard he could barely rest them on the keys.

His head swam. The proctor called, “Start.”

No breath. Can’t breathe. Might die. Zing. The hard chair pressed against the butt plug, and he smiled.

On a shower floor, the tile should be installed a) to a wood floor b) to a concrete subfloor c) to a portland mortar bed d) b or c.

Black with white dots swam in front of his eyes as his hand hit the key. Shaz loves me. Shaz loves me. Might die. So what? Die happy.

His ass throbbed, hands shook so hard he had to hold one with the other.

You’re dumb, Billy Ballew.

Shaz loves me. Click.

You fucked up again.

No, I’m gonna get fucked. Click.

He forced air into his lungs and his head fell backward. Click.

“Are you all right? You don’t look well.” The proctor stared down at Billy with a frown.

“Fine. Never better.” He barely got the words out.

“Okay. If you say so.” The man walked away but kept staring at Billy from his spot at the front of the room.

People—mostly guys and a few women—mumbled and sighed at different computers all around Billy. Poor guys. They didn’t have a butt plug in their asses. They didn’t have Shaz waiting for them.

Waves of blackness washed over his vision. Breathe, dammit. Law questions. Hardest ones. Tingle, throb. Click.

His stomach growled like it wanted to join the protest. He burped eggs. Ugh. Click. Swallowed. Again. Tingle. Throb. Ooh, that one went straight to the balls. Finish and get fucked. Finish and get fucked. A. Click. D. Click.

Click. Click.

Wait. Was that the last one? He scrolled through the answers, his hand so tense he couldn’t feel it.

The last one. Should he look again? Crap, he’d die first.

So all he had to do was hit one key to know if he passed.

Shit, can’t look. Couldn’t. He’d pass out.

The test was self-scoring. Just one click.

His hand moved toward the key. The contents of his stomach burned hot up his esophagus. He slapped one hand over his mouth and clicked with the other, then dropped his head into his hands. Can’t look.

The proctor hurried up the aisle again. “Are you all right, Mr. Ballew?”

Billy nodded but never raised his head. “Can’t look.”

“Can’t look at what?”

Billy snaked a hand toward the screen.

“Oh. You can’t look at the fact that you passed the exam.” The guy had a laugh in his voice.

“What?”

“Mr. Ballew. You passed.”

Billy raised his head. The spots still danced through his field of vision, and his half-hard cock did its own dance every time the plug pushed up into his butt hole. “Sure. I knew that.”

The guy put a hand on his shoulder. “Congratulations. You obviously worked your butt off on this.”

Billy laughed through another ass throb. The words pushed out through the laughter. “Yes. Yes, I did.” He stood up and hugged the guy, which required bending over. “Thank you. What else do I have to do?”

“You’ll get a notice in the mail.”

“So that’s it? I’m done?” Other guys looked around at him with pained expressions.

The proctor put a hand to his lips and led Billy toward the front. He handed him his phone and other pocket contents. “You’re done.” He glanced at his watch. “Maybe a new record on time to completion. At least it’s the shortest I’ve ever seen.”

Billy pumped the proctor’s hand. Done. Dear God. He turned and walked toward the door.

“Good luck with your new career.”

Billy turned. What? It was like he could feel some weight falling off. All the stuff he never thought about, never planned or expected, never dreamed—because he couldn’t pass a test. All that joy flooded in and made him light-headed. His own company. Start with Shaz’s building. Look for other work. People who needed good design/build talent. He could do that. He knew how. He could be an equal partner. Well, almost. He grinned at the proctor. “Thanks.” A few steps took him out of the building into the late-morning sun. A few steps that covered years and miles.

He could practically feel the sun shining off his teeth. With a leap forward, he started jogging toward the Jag. Through the windshield, he could see Shaz talking on the phone. He looked up, and his eyes widened.

The car door opened. Shaz leaped out and ran toward him. “You passed! You did it! Yes!” From five feet away, Shaz leaped toward Billy, and Billy stepped forward and caught him. No planning. Their lips met in a wild, crazy kiss. Shaz wrapped his legs around Billy’s waist, then leaned back and laughed. “I knew it. Gone. No more crappy test. My own contractor.”

“You did it. Only you could have made this happen.”

“Yes, that’s true. I’m the magician Shazam. I waved my wand and made you the smartest, bravest, hardest-working contractor on the planet. And don’t you forget it, buddy.”

They kissed again. Okay, so maybe the people in this parking lot were not impressed by their PDA. “Take me home and fuck me. I earned it.”

“Yes, you did.” Shaz slid to the ground and hopped back in the open driver’s door.

Billy climbed in the passenger seat, put his head back on the seat, laughed hysterically, and promptly fell asleep.

When he opened his eyes blearily, they weren’t in their garage. They were on Ocean Avenue. “Where are we?”

“Stopping for lunch.”

“But what about fucking? This butt plug is driving me crazy.”

“And it will continue to do so a little longer, okay?”

Actually, he was starved. He glanced around. “Where are we going?”

“The Bay Bar.”

“Seriously?”

“Sure. I like the Bay….”

“You do?”

“Yep.”

Shaz parked in front of the bank building about a block from the bar. He got out, met Billy beside the car, and took his hand. “Come on, you have to be hungry. I want to hear every detail.”

By the time they got to the bar, they’d unlinked hands. No use making too much of a statement. Inside the cool, dark bar, music played and people still gathered at the tables for a late lunch. Shaz looked around.

Billy pointed. “There’s a booth.”

“No. I think there’s a better table back here. Come on.”

Where is he going? Billy followed Shaz to the very back of the bar. Shaz walked through an archway. There was a smaller dining room back there that they didn’t open unless there was a lot of overflow. Billy stepped through.

“Congratulations!”

“Yay, Billy.”

Jim, Harry, Raoul, Charlie, half of Billy’s drywall crew, two tile guys, and Mrs. Elmont, one of Billy’s favorite clients, sat around a bunch of tables that had been pulled together.

Billy stared, looked at Shaz, then stared again. “How? How did you get here? I only passed the test an hour and fifteen minutes ago.”

Jim pulled out two chairs. “Sit. We’ll tell you everything.”

Sitting. That should be interesting. He chose a butt cheek and settled on the chair between Jim and Shaz, only to learn that Shaz had let Jim know the day before and asked him to organize people who could come at a moment’s notice.

Shaz grinned. “I knew you’d pass. Just not at what time.”

Jim passed two glasses, a pitcher of beer, and a basket of onion rings to Billy and Shaz. “So tell us everything.”

Billy smiled. Everything? How he’d nearly passed out and only that damned butt plug kept him conscious? No, might leave that out. That throwing up was a near thing, but being able to answer the questions through an orgasm meant he could barf and answer at the same time? No, wouldn’t include that either. How about knowing that Shaz, Jim, and the other guys believed in him, and that made it possible to walk into the exam room? Yeah, that he could share.

For the next two hours, over burgers, fries, a lot of beer, and a semi-erect cock, he told his story.