Chapter Six
Elena
The meeting went well. It was always inspiring to watch Noah in front of a room full of people, captivating them with his words as if he had something to share that no one else would ever have. And in some ways, it was true. He had developed a user interface that was different from anything on the market, that bordered on artificial intelligence, and that would change the approach to technology if it caught on.
But the people in the boardroom with us didn’t know what he was trying to do, what he was trying to show the world. Their marketing ideas were small-minded, run-of-the-mill, per the norm. They threw out the recipes for success because they worked and didn’t realize that doing the same thing for something new and different wasn’t going to cut it.
Of course, it wasn’t all that easy to keep track of the meeting. My mind drifted to what Noah and I had done that morning, and I couldn’t believe how far I had let him go. Usually, I was shy and reserved. He had brought a woman out of me that I had never known, a woman that he had enjoyed and so had I. I wanted to do it again. I knew it was something we shouldn’t have done, but having Noah on top, inside of me, had made me feel alive in ways I had never felt before.
God, what was I doing? I knew exactly what I was doing; I was fucking the boss. I tried the words on for size, trying to decide if I fit into that image. When someone else was described as having an affair with their boss, people frowned on it. I was one of those people, too. One of the people that looked down on it. But now that it was me, now that I was that person, it was difficult to see it in the same light. I was a little dazed, still in a trance, and maybe that was why reality hadn’t hit yet.
When the meeting was over, I carried on with my errands scheduled for the day. I was on my way out for lunch when Noah pulled me into his office and closed the door. Being with him in a closed office pushed up my heart rate. My stomach did a little flip, and I couldn’t help but remember the feel of him between my legs.
“How did the meeting go, in your opinion?” he asked. It was such an innocent business question.
“I think it went well,” I said. “What did you think?”
Noah grinned at me. “I think you were a little distracted.”
I blushed. I couldn’t help it. “Can you blame me? I had a lot on my mind.”
Noah put his hand on my hip and pulled me a little closer. There was still distance between us, and I wished he would close it, but he didn’t.
“Well, maybe next time we should focus less on extracurricular activities.” He wasn’t serious. He was joking, his eyes smiling at me.
“Maybe we shouldn’t,” I said, flirting. It was comfortable to be with Noah despite what we’d done. A small part of me had been scared that he would regret what we had done and treat me differently. But being with him was as relaxed as it always was. We still had that physical attraction. We hadn’t just banged it out of our systems.
“I’m serious, though. Don’t get me wrong. It was fantastic. But what we did was very dangerous. We should probably not do that again.”
Noah was right. Of course, he was. But it wasn’t what I had wanted to hear.
“I have to get going,” I said, trying not to sound like it affected me. “I have a lunch appointment.”
Noah nodded. “Have fun,” he said.
I met Beth at our spot at Naked Lunch. We had seen each other yesterday, but Beth asked for another lunch so we could talk about the wedding. They had set a date for three months from now, not nearly enough to deal with planning at our leisure. As maid of honor, I would have to work as hard as she would. Right now, I wasn’t thinking about weddings. I was buzzing with what I’d done earlier, the secret I harbored now.
“What’s with you?” Beth asked.
“What do you mean?”
“You look different.”
I shrugged trying to act nonchalant, but I couldn’t keep it to myself. I looked around the coffee shop, searching for someone who shouldn’t hear me before I looked back at Beth.
“I slept with him,” I said in a low voice.
Beth frowned, shaking her head. “What are you talking about? Slept with?”
I looked at her, not answering the question. The silence answered for me. Beth’s eyes widened, her mouth dropping open.
“Are you talking about your boss?” she asked. She was incredulous.
I knew how she felt. A part of me didn’t believe it, either.
I pulled one shoulder up in a shrug. “It just happened,” I said. “I couldn’t help it.”
Beth laughed, lifting her hand to her mouth. At least she thought it was funny. “I can’t believe this,” she said. “It’s been one day!”
She was right. It was very sudden after we had discussed the kiss. But everything had changed since we had had lunch yesterday.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to steal your thunder, but I couldn’t keep it from you.”
Beth shook her head. “No, I would have wanted to know. What was it like?”
This was the Beth I knew and loved. The woman that had given me advice yesterday had been correct, but it hadn’t been the friend I remembered. The one that sat in front of me now, asking me for details was the friend I remembered from college.
“Oh, my God, it was the best sex I’ve ever had. Hands down.” I leaned toward Beth a little bit, lowering my voice. I didn’t want the whole restaurant to hear me. “We did it on his desk.”
Beth made a face. “Everything about your life right now is cliché. It’s like a romance novel.”
“Or a dirty erotica novel,” I laughed, blushing again. My face fell when I remembered the last part of his conversation.
“What is it?” Beth asked, seeing my change in mood.
“He told me we should probably not do it again. He’s right. It’s dangerous, but it’s disappointing. I’ve never had such a good lay in my life.”
Beth shook her head. “I get where you’re coming from, but it is dangerous. What are you going to do?”
I hadn’t thought as far as having an answer for her. Noah’s words had shaken me because he had said it right after flirting with me, but I knew that he was right. A part of me was also worried. Noah always made me feel like I was someone special. I never wanted him to treat me like a dirty little secret. I was scared that now that we’d had sex, that was how he would see me.
“So far, it doesn’t seem to have changed anything between us,” I said to Beth. “But it’s almost too soon to tell. You think it will stay that way?”
“I don’t know,” Beth said.
At least she was honest. A part of me felt like I knew Noah very well. But another part was reminded that I had only met him three months ago. Even though we got along very well, I had no idea who he was. I didn’t know if anything would change between us. I also didn’t know how he would see me now if all he had been going for was getting into my pants. I had been telling myself that it couldn’t be true because he was a dad, but it didn’t take a saint to procreate.
“Whatever happens, just don’t let it come out,” Beth said. “You don’t want everyone around the office to label you.”
Sensible Beth was back, and her advice was correct again. I doubted Noah would tell anyone what we had done, and I wouldn’t either, but we had a secret now. Secrets could be exposed. And it wasn’t only about my reputation or Noah’s reputation either. It was about the company, too. Saturn Intelligence was already in trouble. The last thing the company needed was a well-placed scandal that would sink it entirely.
“You’re going to have to show me a photo of this guy,” Beth said. “I know you don’t just sleep with anyone and from what you’re saying, he sounds drop-dead gorgeous.”
I nodded, smiling. We were back to gossiping about boys, adult advice aside. This was the part I liked. The thrill of the secrecy, the cliché sleeping with the boss, the fun. Something about it was also weird, and I didn’t know what to make of it, but I pushed it away. For now, I was going to gossip with my friend.
When lunch was over, I headed back to work. Noah was out, and I had a lot to do. There were emails to catch up on and department heads to visit, anything that would keep me busy enough to keep my mind off this morning. Noah returned shortly before the office started emptying out. One by one, employees left until it was only the two of us. Noah and I had fallen into a routine of sorts, coming in early together, leaving late together.
I sat in Noah’s office, working on a file. He sat on one side of his desk, and I sat on the other, both of us buried in paperwork. The desk stretched between us, the surface where we had had sex. I tried not to think about it.
“Are you done with that?” Noah asked.
I nodded, handing him the paper I had finished with. He put it in the file and closed it.
“Well, that’s it for now. It’s a lot of paperwork but it looks like we’ve gotten through it.”
I nodded. The new project, the latest technology, and all the meetings took a lot of time and paperwork. As soon as the product was launched and everything was running smoothly, we would be able to breathe again. For now, the workload was our destiny.
Noah leaned back in his chair and sighed. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger like he had a headache.
“I appreciate your hard work on this,” he said. “I can’t tell you how much your support means in the meetings.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know why. You’re on top of things.”
“If that’s what you think, I’m putting on a better act than I thought. I’m not always very confident that this is going to work out. It helps that I know you put things into perspective and tell me if something is wrong.”
I was flattered that he thought of me as a pillar to lean on. I had always been a fixer, a nurturer, and taking care of people and their needs was what I did best. Maybe it was one of the reasons I fit into the secretary role so well even though I had earned an MBA.
“Well, whatever happens, you know I’ll be there.” It sounded a lot more amicable than I would have liked it too – we were toeing the line of romance now – but whatever happened between us, I was his secretary first and foremost, and I had to do my job.
“I have to get going,” Noah said. “Are you staying later?”
“I just need to fax one more thing then I’m done,” I said.
Noah nodded, walking around his desk. He stopped in front of me. My breath hitched in my throat at his closeness, and Noah lifted a hand, stroking my cheek with the back of his fingers.
“I hope you don’t mind,” he said.
“Mind what?”
Noah put his hand on my neck and leaned in for a kiss. Maybe I should have pushed away. Maybe I should have stopped him after he had told me that we shouldn’t be doing something like this again. But I was hypnotized by the feel of his lips on mine, how delicate his hand on the back of my neck made me feel, and I melted into his kiss instead. When Noah broke the kiss, he smiled at me. He looked calm and collected when I felt flush and out of control.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Elena,” he said and turned towards the door.
I watched him leave. Butterflies erupted in my stomach when I thought about him kissing me. But at the back of my mind, a small little voice was screaming. What if someone found out about us?