Jenny
How did I get here? I avert my eyes once again from the pile of people writhing around on literally every flat, and actually, not flat, surface available. There are so many different configurations of people and limbs and pairings that it is all kind of hurting my head a little bit.
This will definitely go down in the Dating Hall of Fame’s book as the worst first date ever.
That’s right. The guy my aunt set me up with took me to an orgy on our first date. At least he took me to dinner first?
To be honest, the orgy is at least slightly better than the dinner had been. Chad and I have absolutely nothing in common. Example: he goes to orgies, I’ve never had sex.
I try desperately not to make eye contact with anyone. If I make eye contact, am I going to have to join in?
By the way, if anyone ever asks, the smell at an orgy is just about the worst thing ever. A weird combination of sweat, lube, sex, and latex. But at least they are practicing safe sex.
A girl being eaten out by two different guys inches a little closer to me, and I try to back as far against the wall as I possibly can. Would it be possible to actually meld with this wallpaper? Never mind. God only knows how much DNA is on these walls.
I think I might throw up.
“So, what do you think?” Chad leans over, his hot breath making my ear sweat.
I want to scoot away from him, but that would put me closer to the guy getting pegged by who I think might be his wife, while she is getting screwed in the ass by another guy. “Ummm, I thought you said we were going to a house party?”
“Yeah, this is the best house party there is in the tristate area.” He looks at me as if I’m dumb. Which in turn makes me want to throat punch him.
“This isn’t really my type of thing.” I look at the ceiling, thinking that must be a safe zone. But nope. No, not safe at all. The whole ceiling is tiled in mirrors. Ew. Ewewewew. “Do you think we could go, please?”
“You can’t be serious. I’ve been on the waiting list to get in here for months. I’m not passing this up for anything.” As he talks, Chad starts peeling off his shirt, revealing his pale skin inch by inch. Before I know it, Chad is no longer beside me but wading into the deep end of the waters without even a glance back at me.
Is it weird that I’m relieved? Not necessarily that I have been abandoned at a sex party, but just to be rid of my so-called date?
Shit. I knew I should have driven myself.
This place is in the middle of freaking nowhere. I mean, no wonder. Orgies are freaking loud. I hope this place is soundproofed. I highly doubt Uber comes out here. I should call my aunt to come pick me up. It serves her right. Never again will I let her set me up.
I don’t need to be dating anyway. Between school, work, and volunteering, my plate is overflowing. But she kept insisting I would turn out to be a lonely cat lady if I didn’t start going out more, and to be honest, the thought does scare me. I don’t want to be a virgin forever.
But I also really don’t want to be here. With a deep breath that I immediately regret, I pull my purse closer, searching through it for my phone. Once I pluck it out of the depths of my bag, I text my roommate. Monique will definitely be awake because she studies just as much as I do.
Me: You know how you always say you’d give me your firstborn for coffee in the morning? How about you give me a ride home instead, and I’ll make the coffee every morning for the rest of the term?
After sending the message, I take a look around. The place is actually pretty nondescript. From the outside it looked like one of those metal barns that can be built overnight. The naked people occupying every inch make it hard to notice much about the decor, but it seems to be the latest in orgy chic. The drop ceiling is all mirrors, the couches are fake leather or vinyl (the better to disinfect I assume), and there are two huge beds on opposite ends. I can’t tell what the bedding situation is because they are both so full of people. Hopefully, they have waterproof sheets though. The walls seem to be some sort of cheap plywood as opposed to actual drywall, and I tap on the wall behind me to check. Yup, I could probably pry the gaudy red boards off with my bare hands. My dad would be ashamed at the shoddy workmanship in this place. You know. After he stopped having a coronary over his baby girl being in the middle of a sex party.
Finally, the phone clutched in my hand rings with my text notification. A few of the people around me stop to look when the Meow Mix theme song starts playing. Yeah, I really like cats. Sue me.
Monique: That bad?
Me: Worse. Please come get me.
I open my map and send her my current location. There is literally nothing around us, but hopefully, she should be able to find it with her GPS.
Monique: Jesus, did he take you camping or something?
Me: WORSE
Monique: What is worse than camping? On my way.
Closing out of my texts, I consider what I should do while I wait for my knight in shining yoga pants. The only other door besides the exit behind me is on the other side of the cavernous room and the sea of moaning people.
For about half a second, I consider waiting outside. But God knows what kind of wildlife is waiting out in the woods. Strangely, I think I’m safer in here. No one is really paying me any attention.
Shrugging, I sit on the floor directly next to the door that we came in through and dig through my bag until I unearth the textbook for my Anatomy and Physiology of Domestic Animals class. Might as well get some studying done. Being a zoology and biology double major is no joke. Most of my time is spent memorizing obscure body parts or bones of animals, or complex chemical equations.
I never leave my dorm without at least one textbook. To be honest, I really only leave my dorm room for class, the library, and meals. And now apparently, bad dates that end with group sex. Never again.
I’m just highlighting a section I’ll need to go back and review when someone’s sweaty ass isn’t thrusting five feet from my face, and I feel someone hovering over me. Staring harder at the page, I pray whoever it is will get the picture and buzz off.
But evidently, he doesn’t get the point.
“So, uh, come here often?” It’s his nervous laugh that does it. It is totally at odds with both the environment we are in and the deep bass tone of his voice. Curiosity wins out.
Saying a silent prayer that he at least has pants on, I peek up at the stranger. And up and up. This dude is huge. Relief sweeps through me when I see his faded jeans and button-down shirt. Then I take in his face and, holy fuck, this guy is freaking beautiful.
Just his face has me more aroused than the room full of people getting it on around us. His smile is awkward, but he has the cutest dimples, a square jaw, deep brown eyes, and dark hair standing up all over the place.
“Sorry, stupid question.” He cringes, which makes me smile. “You probably don’t seek out secret orgies to study at on a regular basis. I was trying to be clever. Sorry.”
My laugh is equally awkward, but it kinda just bubbles out because this guy is standing fully dressed at a sex party, trying to flirt and failing pretty spectacularly. “Actually, studying at orgies is exactly how I study all the time. It is better than using anagrams. Woman getting her toes sucked will now always remind me of the bones of the canine paw.” I try to keep my expression passive as the guy gapes at me, but I fail and break down laughing after a second, and thankfully, he chuckles along with me. “I’m joking. Sorry, bad joke. Um, no, don’t come here often. Somehow the guy my aunt set me up with thought this would be the perfect place to end our night.” I glance around, trying to find Chad, but there are too many writhing people, so I look away. “My roommate is on her way to pick me up.”
The guy widens his eyes, shock and maybe a little hope filling them. “Wow, you win Worst First Date Ever.”
I can only nod my emphatic agreement.
“Any chance your roommate could drive me back to campus as well? I don’t have a phone with me. Name is Spencer, by the way.” Spencer rocks back on his heels, letting his eyes rest on the ground in front of him. Smart move on his part.
“Mind if I ask how you ended up at an orgy you obviously have no interest in without a phone?” The guy seems sweet and genuine, but I’m no fool. I’m not letting a strange man get in a car with two girls half his size until I know a little more.
He groans and rolls his head back on his shoulders, looking at the ceiling, but quickly looks back down when he sees the mirrors. “Long story, but my teammates thought blindfolding me and dropping me off here without my phone would be hilarious.”
“Teammates?” I’ve never paid attention to the athletic programs at our school. I think we have football and basketball? Maybe?
“Yeah, I’ll tell you anything you want to know, but can we please go outside? I think I’m going to be scarred for life if we stay in here much longer.” Is he blushing? I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a guy blush before. It is just about the cutest damn thing I’ve ever seen.
I take a glance around as I climb to my feet, which is the biggest mistake I can make. Right in front of me, a woman is moaning out of control as she takes two guys. One in her vagina and one in her ass. Before I can whip my face around, a third guy somehow climbs into the mix aiming his own dick, but where the hell does he expect that thing to go? The poor woman is already stuffed more than a turkey on Thanksgiving!
I never understood the whole rubbernecking thing, why people are unable to look away from horrific crashes and slow down to get a better look. But I get it now. Because I can’t look away. There are only two holes, and three dicks. How on earth is this going to work? I expect the woman to tell the new guy to get the hell away, but she only nods her head and begs for him to fill her.
What? She’s already full!
Then it happens. He stuffs his dick right in alongside the guy on the bottom, into her pussy.
Whipping around so my back is to the foursome (four!), I try to erase the image of two penises in one vagina from my mind. I can never unknow that.
“Yes, outside. Please.”