How can one man be so damn sexy? All it takes is a simple glance at Ethan and my hole is quivering for him. He makes my insides tingle, and I just want to throw myself into his arms. I’ve never been attracted to anyone this way, but I know it isn’t just my heat cycle.

That would be easier to explain.

And easier to satisfy.

But it’s not that simple. There’s something genuinely kind and caring about Ethan that just drives me to him as a friend, making it so much harder to ignore the lust and desire I feel for him as an alpha.

I close my eyes and imagine following him into the shower and soaping up his hard body so I can slide up against him and feel all the peaks and valleys of this muscles under my fingertips. Okay, this definitely is not a good time to be thinking about Ethan because the loose shorts I’m wearing do nothing to hide my hardon. If he walked out right now, that would definitely be awkward.

Colby is staring up at me with a milk drunk expression, so I refocus my attention on my sweet boy. “You all done?” I rest him against the towel on my shoulder and gently pat his back until a burp bubbles up, and then I quickly get him changed. After I put on some clothes myself, I head back out to the living room. I step into the hall at the same time Ethan is walking out of the bathroom wearing a pair of jeans with the waistband of his boxers sticking out the back. He’s rubbing a towel over his head to dry his short hair as he waves me forward to pass in front of him. I’m a little disappointed that I don’t get a view of his ass walking in front of me, but I consider it lucky since I’m not really eager to pop another boner this afternoon.

“Ready for some tummy time?” I put Colby down in the middle of a blanket on the floor then walk into the kitchen to make a sandwich. “Are you hungry, Ethan?” I ask as he sits in the arm chair I was in earlier and watches Colby. My boy lifts his head up to shift it from one direction to the other.

“He’s getting strong,” Ethan says with a sweet smile on his face. He drops to his knees and holds a brightly colored caterpillar in front of Colby. When he shakes it, it makes a crinkling sound. Colby’s eyes light up and he bounces a little like he’s trying to go for it.

Ethan walks the caterpillar closer and closer to Colby until the soft fabric is underneath those chubby fingers. As soon as Colby has a grip on it, his iron fist closes and he squeals with joy.

Ethan chuckles and gently pulls the caterpillar free. “You like that, little man? Do you want this to come and get you?” He bounces it in front of Colby again and slowly moves it back in his direction.

I don’t want to interrupt this moment, but I can’t resist reaching for my phone and recording it. I stalk around the back of the sofa then get down on my knees so I have a clear view of the action.

“Your daddy thinks he’s being sneaky by taping us, huh, Colby?”

Colby grabs the caterpillar and pulls it to his mouth. His eyes are full of delight as he gnaws on the crinkly material. I glance at Ethan and my breath hitches at the absolute adoration I see reflecting back at me. He looks so happy, and I realize the huge grin on my face matches his exactly.

“You’re really good with him,” I say quietly as Ethan looks down at my son again.

“He’s such a happy baby. You’re doing a great job.”

I don’t know what possesses me to ask, but I turn off my brain and let my lips move before I can stop myself. “Do you ever think about having kids?”

Ethan‘s eyes lock on mine as he slowly nods. “I do. A lot, actually. Especially recently.” He winks and looks back down at Colby then runs his palm over the baby’s mostly bald head. “I’d have ten if they were all just like him.”

I take a deep breath and place my hand over Colby’s back, rubbing small circles there. “Yeah, me too.”

* * *

Ethan has only been home for twenty-four hours, but I’m beginning to think I might be going into heat. It doesn’t feel like the heat cycles I’ve experienced in the past, but the need to be close to him is strong. And once I am close to him, my lust grows to an almost undeniable state of desperation. I want him so fucking bad it hurts.

Literally.

I’ve taken four showers since he arrived, trying to at least take the edge off, but nothing is working. Every orgasm comes quicker than the last, but they aren’t filling the growing need within me.

And every time I turn toward Ethan, he’s watching me. I don’t know if he can sense my desire or if he’s feeling any of his own, but I do know I’m won’t be able to resist for much longer.

I put Colby in the crib and hum to him for a few minutes until I know he’s in a deep sleep before walking out into the living room. Ethan is thumbing through a magazine with soft music playing in the background. I sit at the other end of the couch and reach for the book I’ve been trying to read for the past week. It’s a romance, so every couple of pages, my mind drifts, and I end up putting myself onto the page. And somehow, the hero in the story keeps morphing into my own personal hero with hazel eyes and a smile that could make you drop to your knees and beg for his cock.

I read the same paragraph over and over, unable to focus on any of the words because I’m surrounded by Ethan‘s scent. My own desire is slowly beginning to rage within me. When I feel like I need to get up and take yet another shower to try to sate this need, I glance at Ethan and see his scorching gaze focused on my embarrassingly hard erection. I slowly lower the book to cover my lap, but he stops me, reaching for the book and pulling it away.

I look up at him under heavy lids and pray he wants what I need. “Freddie?” he asks softly. “Do you feel this…thing between us?”

I only nod, not daring to move any other muscle in my body out of fear that I might lose the tiny shred of control I have left and jump right into his lap. Ethan takes a deep breath and his pupils get even wider, filling all the green and gold space as his lids droop.

“I want you so fucking bad, Freddie. Do you want me?”

“Yes,” I pant out, already leaning towards him. Ethan’s strong arm slides behind my back and he lift me onto his lap, exactly where I want to be. His thick erection is pressed against his belly, and through my thin shorts, I can feel every inch of it as I rock up and down, wishing there was nothing separating us so he could fill me with his knot.

Without even considering what he wants, I press my mouth to Ethan‘s, desperately trying to taste every inch of it. His lips separate and his tongue meets mine in a savage dance of passion and power. I can feel his need for domination, but I can’t calm down enough to allow it. In this moment, all the years of being used seem like a culmination of me finally gaining the upper hand.

This sexy alpha wants me, but he is going to get me on my terms.

I continue to grind over his erection, leaving a slick path in my shorts but not caring at all. “I need you to fuck me, Ethan. Will you do that?’

His mouth is still opening and closing along my jaw, nipping at my skin and tasting every inch he can reach as he nods vigorously. “God, yes. I want you so fucking bad.”

“Do you have any condoms?” He stills beneath me then slides me to the edge of his lap. “In my bag. Get undressed.” Lifting me by my hips, Ethan moves me to a standing position so I can slip out of my shorts while he runs to his duffel and digs out a condom. The fact that he has condoms with him on his trips makes me pause for just a second. Has he been hooking up while he was gone? He probably was. Why wouldn’t he?

Instead of allowing myself to wallow in that reality for long, I push the thoughts away and wait for Ethan as he drops his pants and sits down on the sofa again. I hold out my hand and reach for the packet. He hands it over and I tear into it, wasting no time in rolling it down his hard length.

Ethan is a fucking monster.

I don’t think I’ve ever been with a man quite as well endowed, and that both intrigues and terrifies me.

As soon as the rubber is firmly in place, Ethan wraps his palms behind my ass and pulls me forward. He leans in, taking the moist tip of my cock between his lips and sucking the bead of moisture from it. My eyes roll back and my head does too as I allow myself to feel his warm heat surrounding me. Ethan‘s tongue is like velvet as it curls around my head then flattens and explores the length of my dick before he sucks me fully into his mouth.

I can’t keep from bucking into him as I experience something I’ve never felt before. I’ve never been inside anyone in any way, and it feels fucking amazing. “Oh my god,” I pant out with my fingers curling into Ethan‘s short hair. “I’m going to come.”

One of Ethan‘s wide fingers brushes against my hole, and a jolt of electricity races up my spine as he breaches the ring of muscle and pushes inside me. As I continue to fuck his face. Ethan pumps a few times before slipping in a second finger. That burn is enough to push me off the edge. I arch my back and end up practically in a 90° angle as Ethan holds me steady, anchoring my body to his by the section of his mouth on my pulsing cock as it empties down his throat. His big hands cradle me I quiver from the exertion and sensation of my orgasm. After the final waves have passed, I straighten out and gently pull his fingers from my ass.

“I’m ready.”

Ethan relaxes his shoulders and allows me to take control as I plant my knees on the sofa cushions next to us thighs and hold his cock straight up so I can lower myself onto it.

Ethan’s head barely breaches my opening, and I already feel another orgasm building deep within my balls. I push further down, taking him all the way to the base until the soft hairs on his balls are tickling my ass. Ethan’s lips crash against mine as he kisses me feverishly while I slide up and almost completely off his length before slamming back down onto him.

A low moan erupts from his chest as he throws his head back against the sofa cushion. “You’re so fucking tight, Freddy. How is that even possible?”

A twinge of shame passes through me at that comment. How is that possible? I’ve been fucked thousands of times by greedy alphas who were either paying or being paid to impregnate me. How could I possibly still be tight after that? Part of me wonders why Ethan would even want to be with someone as used as I am, but when he tilts his hips and slams against my prostate, all insecurities fade away. I don’t even care what he thinks of me. I just need his fucking knot, and I need it now.

I begin to bounce against him in shallow bursts, not wanting him to stray from that sensitive spot I love so much. Ethan’s fingers dig into my hips as he lowers his nose to the crook of my neck and deeply inhales. “You feel so fucking good. I need to knot you.”

“Yes!” I can barely get the word out as I press even lower onto him, feel every inch of his hard erection as it throbs within me. As soon the expansion of his knot begins, I let go of my own control and allow the orgasm that has been building since I first felt his dick at my hole burst forth.

“Ethan, yes. Like that.” I pant against Ethan‘s neck, basking in his intoxicating scent. “Fill me with your alpha seed.”

Ethan moans loudly and wraps his arms around my back, holding me against him as his lips trail up the column of my neck, across my jaw, and onto my mouth. His kiss is frantic as his own orgasm rips through him, but as his moment of euphoria begins to fade, so does the intensity of his lips. Ethan’s knot has me fully locked to him as he lazily drops nips and teases my jaw before resting his head in the crook of my neck.

“You feel so fucking good, Freddie. Thank you for trusting me.” Ethan’s choice of words is odd. Even though I’m completely sated with a thick knot still inside me and a sex-on-a-stick alpha holding me against his bare chest, I want to question it. I want to know what he means. But I’m too blissed out to even form the words, so I let it go for now. Closing my eyes and dozing against the hot man beneath me is better than any fantasy I’ve ever come up with.

I haven’t felt this safe in a long time. And I allow myself to accept it because I know Ethan has me as I drift to sleep.