CHAPTER FOUR
Thia
The rain hadn’t let up by the time I got to the gate. A skinny kid stood guard outside on a stool. Through his clear plastic poncho I could see the patch on his cut that read PROSPECT. He watched me as I laid down my bike and limped over to him, the muscles in my legs hadn’t yet gotten the message that I was done pedaling. “I need to see Bear,” I said. “Please. Can you tell him that Thia is here to see him? Thia from the gas station. I need to talk to him. It’s very important.”
“How important?” The prospect asked, moving the toothpick that hung from his lips from one side to the other with his tongue.
Pulling off my chain I held it up so he could see Bear’s skull ring dangling from it. “This important.”
The prospect eyed the ring skeptically before slithering off his seat. He took the chain from my hand and disappeared behind the screeching metal gate. When he came back ten minutes later it was like he was another person. “I’m Pecker,” he announced, stepping aside so I could enter. “What did you say your name was again?” A smile replaced his earlier scowl.
“Thia,” I said, stepping into The Beach Bastard clubhouse, although I would have called it more like a compound. It was an old motel or apartment complex. Three stories high with rooms open to the elements circled an open courtyard below where an empty pool sat in the center. Off to the side was a clear glass door that looked like it used to be an old bar or restaurant and it looked as if the Bastards still used it for its original purpose. The bar was fully stocked and several men, all wearing cuts, played pool at one of three pool tables.
“Where is Bear?” I asked again. Out of the rain and under the protection of a series of overhangs, my jaw began to shake and my teeth chattered. My wet tank top and shorts clung to my body. My hair lay flat and lifeless against my forehead and cheeks, dripping water into my eyes.
“Bear’s busy right now, but he told me you can wait for him in his room,” Pecker said as I followed him up a flight of stairs to the second floor, holding onto the jagged aluminum railing for support. I nicked my middle finger on an especially sharp point, sucking off the drop of blood that pooled on the surface. “Sorry, should have warned you about that.”
Rain streamed down into the courtyard with such ferocity that the Bastards wouldn’t need a hose to fill their empty pool. The small overhang was no protection from the sideways rain.
Pecker stopped in front of a dark green door and opened it, motioning for me to go inside. “He’ll meet you in here,” he said with a laugh. I stepped inside the dark room but spun around again when I heard the door slam behind me.
“Where did you get this?” a menacing voice asked. My throat squeezed tight and slowly I turned to face the owner of the voice. On the edge of the bed sat a man who looked very much like what I remembered Bear did, except this man had graying hair and a face filled with hard lines.
He held up Bear’s ring.
“Where is Bear? Are you his dad?” I asked, hugging my arms around my waist. The man stood up and laughed, closing the distance between us. I backed up to avoid contact, my head banged against the door.
“I’m not sure you heard me, Darlin’,” he said with mock sincerity, “But I asked you a fucking question and I don’t know who you think you are or where you think you are, but I’ll fill you in…” He leaned down to stare at me with familiar blazing blue eyes. “I’m Chop. Stands for Chop Chop because…” He chuckled and ran a calloused finger down my cheek, I pulled away and he grabbed my face so hard my mouth opened and he squeezed my cheeks until they touched in the middle. “Well, you don’t need to know that story, now do you? I run this shit. The patch on my cut says so. You’re in my house so you’ll tell me where the fuck you got this before I shove it down your fucking throat and choke you with it.” Chop held up the chain again, the light from the lamp glinted off the diamond in the eye of the skull.
Chop might have had the same color eyes as Bear’s but they held none of the beauty. Chop’s burned with instability, rage, and violence.
This was a mistake.
I’d gone to the compound seeking… what exactly had I been seeking? Help? Protection? Safety? All I knew was that in that room, with Bear’s old man only a few inches from my face, I felt anything but safe.
When I didn’t answer right away, Chop shrugged. “Okay have it your way.” It was when he pressed the ring to my lips when I suddenly found my voice.
“Bear gave it to me,” I blurted out.
“Bullshit! Where did you get it?” he roared, again trying to force the ring between my lips.
“I was ten!” I screamed and when I opened my mouth the ring slipped in and smacked against the back of my throat. I gagged and Chop took a step back, examining the ring in the light of the lamp. I didn’t know if he meant for me to continue but I did anyway. “He gave it to me in Jessep when I was ten years old because I did a favor for him.” I didn’t know if I would get Bear in trouble by telling Chop exactly what happened so I kept it vague. “He told me that if I ever needed his help to come here and show the ring and he would help me.”
Chop waved me off. “Shut up,” he commanded, still twisting the ring around in his hand like he couldn’t believe it was there. A twisted smile took over his face and he let out a burst of laughter. “He’s a dead fucking man walking but the kid has always been funny.”
“What does that mean?” I asked, not sure if the new round of teeth chattering was from being freezing or from fear.
“It means that my boy gave this to you because he never expected you to show up and take him up on it,” Chop said, putting the ring in a pocket sewn to the inside of his cut. “He wouldn’t have done shit for you, except maybe show you his cock.”
“No! He said that it’s a biker promise. It’s your way…”
“Darlin’ we ain’t got no such code and I know that because all of our codes have to do with killing. Like what, where, who, and when.”
Bear lied to me?
Yes, Bear lied and I was a stupid little girl who fell for it. He never wanted to help me. He just didn’t want me to tell on him.
“Can I at least talk to him?” I asked with one last shred of hope. It didn’t matter that the ring that I’d been clinging to for seven years was a joke. I still needed help. “I just need to…”
“Bear isn’t a Beach Bastard anymore. He took off his cut like the cunt pussy he is and walked out that gate because he’s a coward. He’s not a biker anymore. He’s not a friend. He’s not even a fucking man. Do you know what he is?” Chop asked, stepping back in front of me. I shook my head, frozen in place by his stare. “He. Is. Death. A dead motherfucker who just happens to still be breathing.” He pressed his nose into the space between my neck and shoulder and inhaled. I cringed, and tried to pull away, but his big muscular body kept me trapped. “But I’m gonna fix that real fucking soon,” he whispered, his hot breath against my ear made me feel like I was going to puke.
“If he’s not here, then I should just go,” I said, every internal alarm I had reaching deafening volumes inside my head.
Run. Run. Run.
I felt behind me for the door knob and when I found it I gave it a twist, but it didn’t budge. “Locks from the outside,” Chop said wickedly, his eyebrows jumping suggestively.
Grabbing me by the shoulders he threw me onto the floor. I landed on my side and pain tore through my ribs. Chop knelt down and straddled me, his thighs holding me prisoner on the dirty carpet. “He chose that motherfucker King over his brothers. And he’s going to fucking pay.”
“Let me go!” I wailed, writhing underneath him, trying to break free, but he was as stuck in place as the doorknob. I tried to beat my fists against his chest but he grabbed my wrists and twisted them painfully. “Please just let me go!” I cried out.
“Don’t worry, little one. I’m not going to kill you. In fact I’m going to make sure one of the boys gives you a ride out.”
“You are?” I asked, knowing that he wouldn’t be on top of me cutting off circulation to my hands if his only plan was to drop me somewhere else.
“I am. Boys are going to drop you off first thing in the morning.”
“Morning?” I asked, only half the word audible, the rest came out as a breathless whisper.
“Yes, morning. Because first we want to make sure that if Bear sees you that he knows that he’s a dead man but anything he wants to keep breathing better not be stupid enough to step over onto this side of the causeway.”
“Okay, let me go. If I see him I’ll give him the message.” I promised.
“No, you stupid girl. You are the message.” Chop pushed my hands above my head with one hand and leaned down, biting my nipple through my shirt.
Hard.
I cried out and Chop sat up and laughed, admiring the fresh stain of blood on my shirt where his teeth had just been. “The brothers and I are gonna have some fun with you, bitch.”
“Brothers?” I asked, or at least I thought I asked because Chop balled his fist and slammed it into my jaw, making me see stars. His smiling image above me flickered like someone was turning the lights in the room on and off. One second I saw him and the next second it was all black, although I knew he was there because the crushing weight on top of me never left. “He doesn’t know me. He won’t care. Don’t do this. Please don’t do this!”
Chop ignored me. “Wait until Murphy gets ahold of you. He likes to break little girls like you.” Chop sighed. “When we saw you come in, I’d already promised him that I’d save your pussy for him, though I think a taste won’t hurt.” He sat back on his knees and just as I thought he was about to get off me, he flipped me over with one arm, my head crashing against the dresser. He pulled my wet shorts and underwear down my legs with one rough yank.
“No!” I screamed, kicking my legs out.
Chop used his knee to spread my legs and using one of his fingers he roughly forced it inside of me. I felt his too long fingernails scrape against my inside walls. I felt every ridge of his finger until his ring prevented him from going any further. “So fucking tight. Really is a shame that I’m a Bastard who keeps my promises to my brothers. You’ll have to remind Bear of that when you see him.” He pulled his finger out of me and my insides pulsed from the injury. I picked my cheek off the carpet and turned around to look at Chop who winked at me before popping his finger into his mouth. “You taste so fucking good, Darlin’. It’s too bad we are going to ruin this little body of yours, because we could use some new pussy around here.”
Chop unbuckled his belt and pushed down his jeans with one hand, still leaning over me, his one hand still keeping me prisoner. His enormous erection sprang free from his jeans and I turned my head back toward the floor not wanting to see what I was about to feel. I clenched my thighs and tried to push my legs together, but another blow to the side of my face stripped me of the will to fight. Replacing it with the dizzying image of the spinning room as my head landed against the carpet. I tried to lift my head again but my neck couldn’t support it. My head was too heavy. It was too much.
It was all too much.
Chop released my arms when he felt the fight in me die, nudging my legs open wider with his knee. I felt his hot and heavy erection on my back. He whispered into my ear, his words beyond cold. Beyond callous. “I’m going to wreck this pretty little asshole of yours. I’m going in dry so this is going to fucking hurt.” He ran his teeth down my ear, biting down on my earlobe. “But first a little test to see how tight this ass really is.”
He pressed his thumb into me and pain shot up my spine over and over again like I was being stabbed. The further he pressed the more pain I felt.
The more jagged the knife became.
I used all the strength I had left to speak, “And you say Bear isn’t a man, anymore.”
“What was that little girl?” Chop asked, pressing further inside of me until I collapsed against the arm holding me up.
“You told me that Bear’s not a man. It’s you who isn’t a man. You’re nothing. You’re fucking garbage!” I wailed as the pain intensified.
“Here I was nice enough to give you a warm up,” Chop removed his thumb, but any relief I felt was temporary because he grabbed his shaft and pressed it firmly against the tight bundle of nerves he’d just finished injuring. “No more of that,” I tried to mentally ready myself for the pain, but there was no amount of preparation I could do to be ready for what was to come.
He was going to split me apart.
I felt him start to push in, sharp stabbing sensation.
Then it was gone.
Chop was gone.
Glass flew through the air as the window exploded, shattering into a million pieces, coating every surface in the room, including my skin, with tiny prickly shards that stuck to me like little Chinese stars.
Spinning. The room. Everything was spinning.
Shouting, shuffling and banging sounded from outside the room. The door opened and slammed shut several times.
The solid floor underneath me disappeared and was replaced with swaying, bumping, and a slight vibration of a vehicle.
I pried open one of my swollen eyes. “Who are you?” I asked. Shadows concealed the driver. Rain pelted the windshield faster than the wiper could clear it.
“I’m Gus,” he said flatly, with zero emotion in his voice.
“Hi, Gus,” I sang deliriously, as the spinning returned. My head fell back against the passenger window.
Gus, the rain, the clubhouse, Chop, parents, everything started to fade. Further and further away until I was surrounded by nothingness. Delicious nothingness. I wanted to exist in it for as long as it would have me.
Living in a permanent state of nothing sounded like a good idea.
Maybe, this is what death feels like?
Was I dying?
I didn’t know, and in all honesty, at that moment…
I didn’t fucking care.
Blackness came for me. I didn’t fight it. Closing my eyes I allowed it to swallow me whole, welcoming it to take me in. A part of me hoping it would keep me there forever. I never wanted to wake up to face the reality of what my life had become in such a short period of time.
It wasn’t a life at all.
It was a nightmare.