Chapter Thirty-one
Morgan
I surprise them both when I stay true to my word and get ready to go out, instead of throwing on PJ’s. The whole day I suspect they thought I was going to try to back out of going, but I didn’t even bring it up. I know deep down, I need to get out of the apartment. I've become a recluse, again, and I don't really want to be a recluse. I don't really like this "new Morgan" they were complaining about last night, either. I just hope I can find her again.
It's mid-October already, and Fall is in full swing. I don't want to go out of my way to dress up for a trip out to a bar, but some dark skinny jeans and black boots are comfortable. The bright blue three-quarter length sleeve sweater I bought on sale last year at least gives the illusion that I tried.
It's only about eight o'clock when we arrive at a bar that we used to frequent. It's your traditional bar. They have a full menu and they pump out way too loud music, but there really isn't enough room to dance, thank God.
“Hey, let's grab this table before someone else takes it!" says Ruby, as she excitedly climbs onto the barstool.
"I forgot to tell you, Bernie is gonna try to stop by," Ruby says over the music.
I pull my gaze from the menu, look at Ruby and honestly mean it when I say, "Good. I miss her."
"Yeah, she misses you too."
The server shows up, and just as quickly leaves with our order. I have to admit that it feels good to be out.
We make small talk while we wait for our food and drinks. As I drink my first lemon drop, I start to loosen up a bit. Which is good. I'd really like to forget about the shit going on in my head for a while, even if just for a couple of hours.
We’ve gotten halfway through our bacon cheese fries and mozzarellas sticks when Bernie shows up. I'm not surprised at the feeling of happiness that overcomes me when I see her. I really have missed her. We became fast friends, and even though her friendship came from dating Dex, I'm glad to see her again.
She must have stopped by the bar first because she already has a drink in her hand when she sits down. We all catch-up, but steer clear of he-who-should-not-be-named. I've drained my second drink and decide I need another. Gia joins me at the bar to get another drink.
"I know you’re having fun. You can thank me later," she says, trying to get the bartender's attention.
I chuckle because I'm feeling good. Better than I have in three weeks. "Yeah, thank you for forcing me out tonight."
“A little tough love never hurt anyone." Finally getting the bartenders attention, she orders two Lemon Drops, which are my favorite.
Just as we get our drinks, I take a slightly too big sip of the drink, and then I feel someone brush up next to me. Immediately thinking that I might be feeling the drinks a little faster than normal, I turn and see an attractive guy smiling next to me.
"Sorry about that," he chuckles. And I give him a sweet, but non-interested, smile and a "No worries." Then I head back to the table with Gia.
Minutes later I notice that a strange tension comes over the table. Bernie is giving Gia a look that I can't read, and Ruby is furiously texting someone on her phone. Gia looks almost pissed as she glances at Ruby.
"What's going on, guys?" I ask in mock concern. I don’t really care, as I'm three drinks in and feeling pretty good.
Ruby looks up from her phone and with a slightly guilty look on her face, she says, "Ok, so don't be mad, but there may have been a little miscommunication, and…well…Dex is here."
"We can leave, Morgan," adds Gia, quickly.
Everything in the room seems to stand still as I process this information. Dex. Is. Here. Right now.
And then without warning, a bubble of laughter bursts from my mouth. It's the first time I've really laughed in weeks, and it feels good, even if it is alcohol induced.
"Morgan?" Ruby asks, confused.
I'm nearly doubled over in laughter. When I say, "I mean, this is totally ironic isn't it? You guys drag me out of the house for the first time in weeks to help me get over him, and then an hour into your ‘Get Morgan over Dex plan,’ he shows up?" I'm starting to get the hiccups now, from laughing so hard. "Thank goodness I'm tipsy!" I say as I finish off the last of my drink.
All three of them are still staring, dumbfounded at me. Which I find hilarious, as I continue to giggle uncontrollably. "Seriously, you guys, it’s fine. Shit happens."
"I think this is my fault," says Bernie. "I didn't tell the guys who I was going out with tonight, just that I was coming here."
"Well Link asked me what I was doing tonight, and I told him we were coming here. I had no idea that they would show up," Ruby adds, with regret. “I didn’t realize those guys were so clueless. You’d think they’d put two and two together and realize we’d all be here.
"Look, I'll just go up to the bar and get another drink. They can all come over and say hi, and then when they leave, I'll come back. Sound like a plan, Stan? Well, more like Stans, since there is more than one of you," I giggle, then hiccup.
"No, Morgan, they aren’t going to come over here, so don't…"
Bernie says, but I cut her off with the slurred, “Ohhh nooo worries” as I stand up, swaying a bit.
"No, no. I want you guys to see your friends. I really need a drink." I regain my balance quickly, then head towards the bar. I ignore their protests and keep walking.
I pretty much forced them to become friends with Dex and his group. It's not fair for me to expect them to stop being friends. That would be a total bitch move on my part, and I'm not a bitch. I was a bitch to Dex, though when I broke up with him. Ugh.
I order another drink. It's been a long time since I drank this much, but if there was ever a night to get drunk, tonight is the night. I peer over my shoulder to see if the table has been inhabited by gamer boys, and sure enough, it has been, but all I can see is Link and Simon. Good. It’s for the better that I don’t see him.
"We need to stop meeting like this," says an unfamiliar, male voice to my right. I adjust my gaze and see the same guy who bumped me at the bar earlier. I smile because he seems nice.
"Yeah, considering this is such an unusual place to gather." I can do this. I can converse with a member of the opposite sex like it’s no big deal.
"Can I buy you a drink?" Bar Guy asks.
I point to my almost full drink. "I already have one." Hiccup.
"Ah, well, I can wait. You'll need another sooner or later, right?" he says with a confident smile.
Yeah, we'll see about that, Bar Guy. He cocks his head and grins, "You're funny. I like that." Ack! I must have said that out loud. To be safe, I just smile and take a drink. Bar Guy starts talking and introduces himself, but I don’t catch his name. He's talking, and I'm nodding like I'm listening, but really, he sounds like he's from a Peanuts cartoon. All I hear is Mwa-Mwa-Mwas. Before I know it, though, my drink is empty. I can no longer feel the burn of alcohol, so I should probably be done for the night.
Bar Guy notices at the same time and leans in. "Can I buy you that drink now?" he asks, in a flirty tone.
"Eh, no thank you. I'm done for the night."
He places his hand on my arm and says again, "C’mon sweetheart, let me buy you a drink. We can go find a table and talk some more."
I look down at his hand and am just about to say no, again, when from behind me, I hear, "She said no," in an all-too familiar voice.
I close my eyes and say, "It’s ok. He was just leaving, and I'm heading back to my table." I look Bar Guy in the face and say, "Please move your hand."
He drops his hand immediately, and looks behind me at Dex and says, "Sorry man, I didn't realize she was taken." Then he starts to slink away.
"I'm not taken," I yell after him, sway a bit from the force of my voice. Oh, damn, I’m drunk. I need to stop this madness before I make any more of a scene.
With a mental push, I quickly turn around on the stool to face him, immediately pretending the move didn’t throw off my balance as much as it did. I look up into that handsome face and simultaneously the butterflies that I thought had died weeks ago flutter to life and anger boils in my blood. "I had it under control, thank you."
"Yeah, looked like it," he says with a similar tone of annoyance.
"Excuse me," I say as I stand up and then almost fall down. His hands jut out and balance me; one hand on my arm and the other on my waist. Damn it.
"I'm fine. I'm fine," I say and brush off his hands.
He says something unintelligible as his hands drop to his sides. I push past him and walk toward the restrooms. Hopefully, that will give him enough time to leave, or at least be out of sight by the time I get out.
I'm standing in front of the sink looking at my drunk self in the mirror when Gia comes in. A look of relief washes over her face.
"What, did you think I fell in?" I say with a laugh.
"You've been in here for like fifteen minutes. We were getting worried." I give her a questioning look when she admits, "Ruby, Bernie, and I were getting worried. He left."
I let out a deep breath. Good. I didn't want to face him again, especially not like this.
"I, uh…we saw what happened."
I grip the edge of the sink and lean into it, "Yeah? Well, I started our relationship looking like a fool, only fitting that I look like one weeks after we break up.” I picked a wonderful time to have three too many drinks.
"Morgan, I've tried not to push you, but I think you need to talk to Dex. Really talk to him, try to work things out."
I'm still looking at her in the mirror when I turn to her. "What?"
"I think…I think you need to take a long hard look at your relationship with Dex. Look at the person you became when you were with him and now, the person you have become now that he isn't in your life." She's lost her usual I know what's best for you tone and almost seems nervous.
"Why are you saying this? Now? And I'm really not thrilled you're telling me that I became a different person when I had a boyfriend, and now I'm not as cool without him," I snap back at her.
A flash of anger crosses her eyes when she says, "No, what I'm saying is that you were the happiest I've ever seen you when you were with Dex. And now, now you are like this shadow of the person you used to be before him."
I hate that what she is saying is ringing true in my head, but I shake it off. "We are not having this conversation in a disgusting bar restroom, and I'm definitely not having it while I'm still drunk." I walk past her and exit the restroom. She sighs from behind me but follows. I head straight for the table where Ruby and Bernie still sit.
"Well girls, I hate to be a party-pooper, but I need to call it a night." I gather my purse and head for the door. I suck in a deep breath of fresh air as soon as I step foot outside.
The three of them are behind me, and Ruby and Gia are already hailing cabs. Bernie and Ruby decide to share one since they are going in the opposite direction, and Gia and I get the other one. Gia surprises me by being quiet the whole way home.
She still doesn’t say much as we enter our apartment, and I head to my room. I mutter a good night, and I don’t hear her reply.
The next morning, I have a killer hangover. And I was a bitch to Gia last night, and she didn’t deserve it.
I take a long shower, and once I'm dressed I head out to the living room preparing to apologize. She startles me as I come out of my room because she is standing in the doorway of her room waiting for me. Before I can say anything she says, "I'm sorry I was a bitch last night. It's just that I need you to be happy, and Dex makes you happy. I could tell from last night that he still has feelings for you. I just need you to realize you still have feelings for him too."
Stunned by her apology and confession, I just stare at her. My head is trying to process everything that just came from her mouth, but I've got a pounding headache. I shake my head, "Ok, I have to get some Advil."
She nods and follows me to the kitchen. As I bang around trying to gather the medicine, a cup and then water, she heaves herself up onto the counter and waits for me to reply.
I turn to her, leaning on the counter on the opposite side and sigh. "One, I was the bitch who bit your head off. Two, you're right, I'm not happy. And three, you think he still has feelings for me? I don’t know why he would." The thought that he might still have feelings for me makes the nerves in my belly tingle, but I need to reel it in because it doesn't matter.
"I deserved your bite, and he most definitely still wants you. The guys came over to the table after you left, and when he realized you weren't there, he started to look a bit uneasy. We told him you excused yourself to the bar, and I swear if he didn't pinpoint your whereabouts within seconds. Then when it became obvious that that guy was chatting with you, he stopped paying attention to us altogether and just looked pissed. I don't know what he saw, but he left the table, and before we knew it, he was stepping in at the bar. What happened?"
"Bar Guy just wanted to buy me a drink, but I told him no. He didn't take the hint at first, but did after Dex showed up." Huh. He was being all protective and concerned, but that didn't mean he still had feelings for me. Even so, it doesn’t matter…does it?
"Ah. He just looked frustrated and a little sad when he came back to the table and said he was leaving. Simon and Link joined him." Now she looks sad.
"I don't even know why it matters if he still has feelings for me. I broke up with him. I can't just change my mind." Or can I?
"It does matter, Morgan, don't you see? Damn it. I swear, you read enough romance novels, you'd think you'd realize when you were being stupid." She says this with a laugh. "You fell in love with him, and that freaked you out because it happened faster than you expected. And I think he fell in love with you just as quickly. Heck, he introduced you to his parents!”
I snort, "Yeah, then a week later I break up with him. I bet his mom hates me. Even if we get back together, his mom probably won't approve." Just the thought of her hating me shoots shivers down my back.
"You were so happy with Dex. I want you to be happy," she says, almost pleadingly.
I look down at the cup still in my hands, "Gia, I don't know what I would do without you, but I promise, I will be happy again. It shouldn't take another person to make me happy, I have to be happy on my own. I have to be happy with me." I'm not sure where that came from because I didn't realize that's how I felt. I look back up at her, and her eyes are watery, but a small smile is planted on her face.
"Ok," she says as she slides off the counter and crosses the small kitchen and hugs me tight. "As long as you let me know what I can do to help."