After watching my funeral today, after seeing my parents and Liam so distressed and not being able to comfort them, after nearly being caught by an Operative—I’m on the edge of breaking down and I don’t know how much more of this I can take. Seeing Molly was the only thing stopping me from cracking today. As Kace moves further and further into the light, I’m being overwhelmed and sinking further and further into the abyss that is the dark. He’s seeing that in all this mess Camilla is the monster dressed in his mother’s clothing and he’s trying desperately to find a way that maybe somehow, we can climb out of this chaos. But me? I’m being sucked into this pit of depression—I’ve lost my job, my parents, everything, and now I’m stuck in the middle of nowhere with nothing familiar.

“I pulled you into all of this shit,” Kace says yanking me out of my repetitive thoughts. I look up at him as he continues his apology which I don’t really hear while he steps in front of me between my legs as I continue to sit on the sofa and stare. “I feel like I need to be the one to get you out of this, but I’m realizing that by doing that I’m not looking after you like I promised I would. So now you will be my total focus and I promise to look after you the best way I can.” His eyes blaze with fear but then they soften. “I know it’s hard, but it will be worth it in the end. If it weren’t for you, The Agency and the Seven would still be heading down a dark path of destruction. You helped us to see a truth, a truth we had no idea about and a truth we couldn’t face. And now faced with that truth, we can liberate ourselves and become who we need to be.”

Warmth floods over me, pushing all my self-doubt to the side. I can feel his affection and he makes me feel safe. As I look at Kace, he gazes lovingly into my eyes and I notice a raw honesty in him that I adore. He loves me and all he wants is to do right, to be a good man, and he is. He’s a righteous man and I will stand beside him at any cost.

“Kace, you amaze me. I love the man you were and the man you have become since being faced with all of… this. You’re so brave, so strong and I wouldn’t want any other man by my side.”

He sits down on the coffee table in front of me and sighs. “I Love you, Lily. I want only what’s right for you.”

After I lean forward I grab his hands in mine and make the space between us lesser. “I know. I know all of this...” I look around the cabin, “… is for us, for me, but I need both of us to be happy, Kace. We need to find a way out of this together. But either way I’m by your side, in the light, in the dark, in the fucking depths of despair,” his jaw clenches, “… I’m right here with you, Kace.”

His face contorts like he’s deeply moved by my words and his eyes glisten. He takes a deep breath looking into my eyes and blinks a few times. His eyes take on an animalistic hunger and an urgent lust breaks through in his gaze. I lick my bottom lip as he surges forward from the coffee table toward me. His hands fly into my hair as he pushes me back down onto the sofa. His lips crash to mine in a flurry of passion, taking me by surprise as his full weight forces my back to the sofa cushions. His tongue dances with mine as my legs instinctively part, allowing him to sink in between. He grinds his hips into mine and I’m suddenly glad we’re in a secluded cabin in the middle of the woods completely and utterly alone.

My hands run up under the back of his shirt, feeling his every taut muscle. God, I love the way this man is sculptured and he’s all mine. My nails dig into his tanned flesh while he rocks into me causing a slight moan to rumble from the center of my throat. His cock begins to harden against me. The need I feel for him is growing quickly, and after the turbulent and chaotic events of the day, to be with him and have him show me how much love he has for me is just what I need right now. Being with Kace is something special, something uniquely exceptional every single time.

I move my hands down to the hem of his shirt and start to frantically pull it up over his head. He moves with me breaking apart our lips so his shirt can come off over his head. His mouth doesn’t find its way back to mine, but rather my neck as he trails hard kisses down my skin to the top of my blouse, where he arches back and begins to undo the buttons at lightning speed.

My top is pulled open quickly and I shuffle up pulling out of the sleeves and throw it to the floor. His hand moves beneath me undoing my bra strap with a single flick of his fingers.

He’s so skilled at everything he does I think with a smile.

My bra is soon on the floor too as he comes back down on top of me, pressing his bare chiseled chest to mine. The feeling of his burning hot skin on mine fills me with desire. My hands want to touch every inch of him, to memorize every muscle and every crevice of him. I don’t want to leave a single morsel of him untouched.

His lips meet mine and that all too familiar buzz screams through my soul. Kissing him isn’t like an electrical charge. It’s not just chemistry, it’s like your favorite thing combined with utter jubilation—it’s like Christmas on crack, endorphins mixed with adrenaline, it’s excitement with pleasure, it’s pure unadulterated bliss. Being with Kace is like nothing I’ve ever experienced, it’s so hard to explain and I feel even with those words I’m still not doing him justice. But as I lay here kissing him while he rocks back and forth into me, working me up without even trying, I know my life is him—it’s not with him, it is him.

He groans into my mouth as my hands move around to his waistband and I begin to unbuckle his belt. He shifts slightly helping me with my plight, making it easier to open his pants. Unzipping his jeans, I tug his pants down around his ass. He pulls back, standing up from me suddenly, and pulls his pants down completely leaving him naked next to me as I pant on the sofa staring at his length in front of my face. I lick my lips taking in the sight of his strong thick length and I reach out to take him in my hand, but he smirks and leans down before I have a chance. His hands grab the hem of my skirt and pulls it down along with my panties at the same time making me squeal slightly at the speed in which he moves. You’d think I’d be used to stealthy Kace by now, but his speed and agility still leave me in awe.

My breathing is strained and rushed as he makes quick work of moving back over me on the sofa. We’re both completely naked as his body presses against mine, and as he looks me in the eyes running his hand along my face gently, I can tell this is going to be anything but a quick fuck.

He gazes into my eyes lovingly and rests his forehead on mine as our bodies mold together, touching in every way, but not yet joined. “I love you, more than anything in this world.”

Bringing my hand up to his face, I caress his cheek and gently lean in kissing his lips softly. “You are my world,” I murmur back and with that he adjusts his hips and slowly thrusts up inside of me. I tense up slightly as we didn’t get around to any foreplay, so I’m not fully ready to take him in like normal, but he knows as he leans forward and kisses me strongly, slowly pulling back his hips and thrusting only fractionally, letting me acclimatize to his size. He knows what he’s doing and I adore him for it, but even though I’m not fully worked up it still feels fucking amazing.

My hands run up his back, pulling him closer to me, needing him, wanting him. We begin the torturous rhythm of rocking together as our tongues dance, kissing each other like there’s no tomorrow. This is gentle, this is soft, this is lovemaking at its best—this is love, this is us.

My legs pull up higher, wrapping around his waist, my knee hurts, but I don’t care as my heels dig into his back while I grind up into him. The pleasure is rolling through me as he takes me to new heights. Every time with Kace is a new experience and this time is no different.

He thrusts deep, my belly aching with desire as he moves inside of me. His hand moves to my face tenderly caressing my cheek showing his softer side as he thrusts again and again. The wave of pleasure rolls through me. I feel the tidal wave start in my toes, it catapults through me spiraling up through my legs making them feel like jelly as they shake against his waist.

I flush red hot as the wave hits my stomach and butterflies flurry and swarm in a mad dance, flittering around as they continue up my chest making it hard to breathe. My head goes foggy as lights flash behind my tightly clenched eyelids. I gasp into Kace’s mouth while my entire body tenses, my muscles go taut and everything squeezes as the tidal wave crashes releasing a wave of pleasure rolling out over my entire body. My entire body shudders and quivers as I moan out loudly while the waves roll on and on and on.

My nails dig into Kace’s back. Moving his mouth to my neck, he nips and sucks on my burning flesh as he pumps into me slightly faster building to his own climax. As my pussy clenches from my orgasm, he jolts and clenches his muscles groaning from his pleasure as he halts and unloads inside of me, draining himself completely.

His body relaxes against mine as we both pant furiously, trying to regain some composure. His head moves back up, looking into my eyes and he smiles sheepishly. “I love sofa sex.”

I giggle and shake my head. “At least this time’s a bit cleaner than the last round of sofa sex we had.”

He raises his eyebrows and nods. “Yeah, last time instead of cleaning the sofa we blew up the house.”

I sigh with a smile. “We don’t exactly live a normal life do we?”

“Nope, but I promise you, baby, I’m gonna do everything in my power to give you something as close to normal as soon as I can.”

I stare into his eyes and I see he’s absolute in his statement. He believes he can give this to me and I want it, I want it so bad. I just hope that somehow, someway, I can get my life, our lives, back to some state of normalcy… one day.

 

THE NEXT DAY

 

I pull my coat in around me, the gentle breeze has a cold edge to it cutting straight through my clothing and chilling my body. Despite what’s going on at the moment, I can’t help but admire the rundown cabin that we’ve made our home, and the forest that frames it like a postcard you’d send to your relatives. The sounds of the stream rushing past and the brush of my feet as I hobble through the long grass seems almost like heaven.

The cabin walls have started to press in on me, making me feel like I’m trapped and needing to get out. I need a reminder that the world outside my cell phone is still very real, still alive and vital.

A rustle in the grass a few feet from me causes me to freeze. My eyes flick back to the cabin, my brain trying to calculate just how quickly I can run back with my crippled knee. I swallow past the lump in my throat, feeling my heart rate increasing dramatically within a few seconds.

As I take a step back, the grass moves again.

I gasp as a wing flutters above the ground followed by a painful screech. My animal loving instincts kick in and I stumble forward, chasing after the injured bird as it tries to escape me.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” I whisper softly, trying my best to soothe the struggling creature as I advanced on it. I can see the fear in its eyes, thinking I’m a predator and these are the last moments of its life. “I know, buddy, but it’s okay. You’re gonna be okay.”

We stare each other down for a few moments before I finally spring into action. I try to be gentle but the instant I take hold of her, I can feel the barbed wire wrapped around one of its wings, the barbs digging into its flesh.

“Oh gosh, you poor thing.”

The bird squawks and screams, but I hold it tight in my hand as I try desperately to disentangle the wire from its body. My body feels lighter almost immediately as I work toward my goal. This is what I’m made for, this is what my life is about and what makes me happy. Animals don’t have a voice, they can’t ask for help or tell us what’s wrong. Being able to help ease their hurt, it fuels me, makes me feel like I have a purpose and almost like I’m changing the world, or their world at least. I’m giving them a second chance, and caring for them when they can’t care for themselves. If I was never able to work with animals again, I’d feel like I had lost a piece of myself.

But for now, everything has changed. My life is about surviving and making it through another day. I’ve always dreamt of owning my own pet clinic, a future that seemed so bright and so fulfilling. Now, though, it’s all about simply surviving a future as opposed to what’s actually in it.

I have to be strong, put on a brave face for Kace. I realize how much this is hurting him and how hard he’s struggling with the realization that his mother is, most definitely, a psycho. But it’s so hard to keep someone else afloat when you’re drowning in your own mind.

I toss the wire into the grass as I pull the last barb from the bird’s wing. It makes me smile, my body filling with joy as I look down at the little bird in my hands. It seems calm now, its little black head tilted to the side and staring at me in curiosity.

“That feels better, doesn’t it?” I grin, using my free hand to stroke its soft feathers back in place. I take a deep breath, bending and placing it gently on the ground and taking a step back. It hops once before stretching its wings out, testing them. Then without warning, it throws itself into the air, the loud flapping causing me to stumble backward. I can’t keep the smile off my face though, allowing the sense of accomplishment and joy to fill me up, and for a moment I feel almost like I’m normal again. The bird circles above me and I giggle, feeling like that’s its way of saying thank you.

“Fly away,” I mutter. “You’re free!”

“I wish you wouldn’t go far, it stresses me out.” Kace’s voice makes me jump and my body sinks as I turn to face him, my jovial mood torn away by reality.

I shouldn’t feel this way.

I shouldn’t feel like he’s pulling me down, but it’s like my mind is stuck in this trance.

What would I be doing right now if Kace hadn’t come into my life?

Would I be happy?

Safe?

I shake my head, trying to shake off the creeping darkness and hate.

“I’m like fifty feet from the cabin, Kace,” I tell him, rolling my eyes.

He steps into my space, leaning down and pressing his lips to my forehead. That same electric buzz shoots through me, making me want to pull him into my arms and not let go.

“One foot from me is too far,” he smiles, cupping my face in his hands and pulling my lips to his. I smile against his mouth, his presence enough to close the gaping hole in my chest for now.

This is why I’m still here.

Because when I’m alone with Kace, he surrounds me with himself and it makes me feel safe, protected and happy. If it weren’t for the other forces in the world trying to shred our lives to pieces, we would be perfect. There wouldn’t be anything that could keep our love from winning.

But that’s not how it is.

I sigh. “I really like this place, minus the fact that we’re dead.”

He chuckles, turning my body and slipping his arms around me from behind. We look out over the glistening stream, the morning sun lighting it as though the surface is covered in a million tiny diamonds.

“Well, maybe once this is all over we can think about getting something like this with a barn attached for a vet clinic that you can work out of? How’s that sound?”

“You remembered!” I say with a slight pep in my voice and then laugh. He smiles, running his thumb up and under my shirt along my stomach.

“Of course, I want you to have everything you’ve ever dreamed of.”

“Hopefully, we will.”

His chin rests on my shoulder, his breath tickling at my ear. “Have a little faith, Lily. We will get through this. This is on me and I’m gonna make it right.”

I lick my lips. “I always wondered… who is Kace Colt?”

I feel Kace smirk against the sensitive skin of my neck. “Who is he?”

Turning my body in his embrace, I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck. “My everything.” He smiles and leans in pressing his lips to mine softly.

A sharp whistle breaks us apart, both of us looking up to see Luca chuckling as he leans against the porch. Eli is with him, his hulking body one that isn’t hard to miss. I wonder how he does the whole secret agent thing. It doesn’t seem like he would be very stealthy.

This time Tanner is with them too, looking unimpressed and bored as she checks out the state of her nails.

“I didn’t hear them drive up,” I whisper as Kace directs us toward the cabin.

He smirks down at me as he helps me hobble through the grass. “I did.”

I roll my eyes. “Of course you did,” I grumble.

As we reach the porch stairs, Luca comes to greet us.

I spot the file in his hand and screw up my nose. “I didn’t like the last one of those you handed over.”

Luca grins and lifts the file, bopping me annoyingly on the head with it as I try to swat him away.

“That’s ‘cause it wasn’t for you, nosy parker,” he sings cheerily in his usual sarcastic tone.

I lash out, punching him in the side and he dramatically hunches over, grasping his stomach and crying out in pain. Kace grunts and rolls his eyes before helping me up the stairs.

“Damn Lily,” he says, leaping up the stairs after us. “You punch like a girl.”

Before he can slip in the doorway ahead of us, Tanner catches him by the shoulder with one hand before using her right fist and plowing it into the right side of his stomach. This time he drops hard to the wooden decking, gasping for breath and in real pain.

Tanner grins at me and I can’t hold back the giggle that rises. She holds up her palm and I slap it with my own before we all file through the door, leaving Luca still writhing on the porch.

Kace shakes his head, plucking the folder from Luca’s hand as he steps over his best friend with a chuckle. “That’s what you get for underestimating girls,” Kace comments dryly.

We all take a seat in the living room and Kace instantly looks at Eli. “Should I be scared of what’s in this folder?” he asks, tapping it impatiently on his knee.

Eli exhales, his eyes flicking to me before returning to Kace, sending my heart racing. “I’m not sure about scared, but shocked, maybe.”

Luca appears in the doorway, grasping the doorframe in his hands. “You guys suck,” he coughs out.

Kace ignores him as he grumbles all the way into the living room, sitting on the armrest of the sofa.

“So I guess we should just rip it off like a Band-Aid then?” Kace asks.

I take a deep breath, but Tanner cuts in before he can open the file. “Should Lily be here for this?”

Kace reaches over and grabs my hand. “I’m not hiding anything from her anymore, she needs to know everything. She’s a part of me now, which means she’s a part of this.”

I can’t help but smile and squeeze Kace’s hand.

“Okay, but be warned… the file involves Lily,” Tanner advises and I groan softly.

“Why does everything involve me somehow?” I ask awkwardly, but with a forced laugh.

Do I really want to be here for this?

Am I ready for what they have to say?

“It’s like when you hire a hooker,” Luca says as he grins. “Once you’re in, you’re in. You’ve gotta take the herpes that comes along with it. You’ve gotta take the lumps that come with the humps.”

Tanner groans, “Oh my God, Luca. Who hired you again? Is it too late to throw him out on his ass?” she asks, looking at Kace pleadingly.

“Yeah, it’s too late. Luca is like the herpes in the SO7,” Eli answers instead, and everyone chuckles except for Luca who frowns across at him.

“All right, that’s enough.” Kace cuts in. “Should I read the file myself or are you gonna break it down for me?”

“Best you see for yourself, I think,” Luca answers, his voice suddenly taking on a very serious tone.

Kace takes a deep breath and flips the front cover over.

I instantly see pictures, the two blond men that were at my funeral. They still seem so familiar, like I know them somehow but my brain can’t quite place them. Slowly my eyes gaze down the page and for a second I lose my breath.

Ares and Ezra Sinclair.

Sinclair was my real father’s last name.

“Holy crap,” I hiss. “Are they—”

“Your big brothers? Seems that way,” Luca confirms as I sit forward, a part of me wanting to take a good look, to really see them.

Kace’s body is rigid and straight. I place my hand on his shoulder to gain his attention. He turns his head a little, looking at me from beneath a harsh brow.

“What does this mean?” I ask, frustrated when he doesn’t instantly reassure or comfort me but instead, he flicks his attention to Luca.

“What were they doing there?”

Luca shrugs. “Looks like Camilla got in touch with them. She knew they’d be there and she wasn’t in the least bit surprised to see them. Why? We’re not sure yet. They left right after they had spoken to her and they stayed far away from the rest of the crowd at the funeral.”

“Because my mom would have recognized them,” I said unconsciously as I continued to stare at the two pictures. “They look like Gael, that’s why I couldn’t figure out how I knew them.”

Kace rubs at his temple with his fingers, closing his eyes and hanging his head. “I’m trying to make sense of what I heard.”

Luca sits forward, his eyes focused on Kace. “She said ‘they need to pay for the people they’ve hurt’?” He licks his lips. “Who is they, though?”

Kace shakes his head in frustration before looking up. “It makes no sense. Why would Camilla be talking to Lily’s brothers? Brothers she’s never even met or had anything to do with, about something like…” His eyes slowly widen. “Unless…”

Both Eli and Luca sit up taller in their seats like they have been shocked. “Shit,” Luca says. “You mean unless Camilla is setting up the SO7 for Lily’s death and sending the Sinclair Syndicate after us.”

Tanner snorts, following it up with a short sharp laugh like she’s not at all surprised by this tidbit of information, while my heart won’t stop racing. “The bitch wants to take over and she wants us gone,” she says, rolling her eyes, but I can see the tension in her shoulders like she’s dying to punch someone again.

“Exactly, you’re a liability. You were all too close to me, too loyal. You know too much.” Kace is suddenly on his feet, scrubbing at his face in frustration. “She knows where your loyalties lie and they’re not with her. They are with me. She’s planning on wiping you all out and using Lily’s brothers to do it.”

“So she won’t get her hands dirty,” Eli adds with a shake of his head.

“Fucking hell,” I murmur, slumping in my seat and taking the discarded file into my hands. “I was just a vet… your neighbor. How did it come to this?”

Kace looks at me with sympathy and even pity in his eyes, it makes me feel like shit. I already feel weak and broken, the last thing I need is for him to treat me like a child. “At first it was a coincidence, and now she’s turned this all into something she can use for her benefit,” he growls softly. “She’s so fucking conniving, I don’t know her at all.”

Eli stands, patting Kace on the back. “She was always like that. But I think we all just played it off, thinking it was for the good of The Agency and our country.”

Kace’s team crowds around him, offering him support. Reminding him that he’ll get past this shit and that his mom being a fucking bitch doesn’t define him.

It all becomes white noise, a background haze as I stare down at the two photos in my lap.

Kace is lucky to have six people who care so much about him, who would literally give their lives if they had to. It must feel so good to have that kind of support to lift you up when you feel like your world is crumbling around you.

I wouldn’t know.

Because at this moment I feel so fucking alone.

I’m not meant to be in his world, I’m not made with the resilience and the fighting skills that they have, both physically and mentally. Years of practice, strict training, people at your side who have your back even through a nuclear explosion.

Blood or not, Kace has his family.

I, on the other hand, am dead.

My family thinks my body was burnt to ashes. They couldn’t even support me if they wanted to.

The two faces of my brothers stare back at me.

They are my family, my blood.

The question is, why are they doing this? Is it because they feel obligated? Is it an excuse to take out a team that’s powerful and strong, a foot in the door that Camilla has opened?

I want to know if they’re like him, like the man who donated his genes to complete my existence. He was so vile, what he did to my mother was unforgivable. I’m glad someone stood up and took his demonic presence from this earth so he couldn’t hurt anyone else.

But what if Ares and Ezra are exactly like him?

I feel myself being torn in two. One part of my heart is so lonely it wants to reach out to these two people who could be the supportive family I need. My heart’s so desperate for a rope to help pull me from this dark hole that I’m digging for myself. On the other hand, they’re after Kace and his team—the only people who genuinely care about me right now, and the man I love more than my own life.

What a mind fuck.

I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.

When will this hell end?

 

 

“When is the Board coming in?” I ask Luca as I finally move back to sit beside Lily. She’s staring down at the file in her hands, I can tell she’s in some kind of shock, so I slowly slip it from her hands and close it.

She looks at me, the sadness and confusion in her eyes obvious. “What’s the Board?”

“The Board are five ex-members of The Agency who come together when the shit hits the fan and vote on how to proceed,” Luca explains candidly, pointing to me. “Since Rambo over here decided to take his anger out on Mark Luthendale, technically right now, The Agency has no leader. And a position like that you don’t just step into, the Board has to vote on it.”

“Camilla wants to take over, and there’s no doubt in my mind that given her history and dedication to The Agency, the Board will vote in her favor,” I explain, unable to keep the disgusted sneer off my face.

Lily licks her lip. “So what does that mean? She’s going to take over?” I can hear the fear in her voice. I maneuver my hands underneath her and pull her petite body onto my lap.

“It means we need to get our foot in that open door before she slams it in our faces,” I try to reassure her, but she just frowns at me like her mind is elsewhere. “We need to get the proof to take her down, and put it before the Board before your brothers get their hands on my team.”

Luca clears his throat dramatically. “Ahem… my team.”

I raise my middle finger. “Fuck off, Luca. I’m just lending them to you. Don’t bring them back broken.”

He rolls his eyes, leaning against the wall with his shoulder. “The Board convenes in four days, so we need to get this shit sorted and now.”

Lily snuggles in against my chest, the warmth of her body settling the angry demons that are raging inside me.

“What do we do?” she asks, her face tucking in under my chin.

“Get Noah started on the files for the Sinclair brothers, tell him to dig deeper. We need anything that’s helpful or relevant… criminal records, associations… anything that we can use to show that they aren’t on the good side of the law.” I tap my fingers on Lily’s leg as my mind runs through all the possible points that may help our case against Camilla. “Pictures of her with them at Lily’s funeral, too.”

Luca nods and Eli and Tanner both push to their feet.

“Work fast, but be safe. We don’t want to give these guys any kind of opening to hurt us,” I tell them, worry settling in. I hate that I can’t be with them and that I have to watch from afar. I’ve always been there, had their backs through every shit-storm that’s been thrown at us.

It eats at me.

Lily presses her lips to my neck and I relax.

No, I have to remind myself where my priorities lay now. They’re with her, with us.

I can’t screw this up again because next time it might end up deadly.