The countryside flashes by, fields covered in lush green grass, cattle, and horses grazing lazily in the sun. I can’t wait to step out, enjoy the colors and the fresh air without it being dulled by the severely tinted windows of Kace’s SUV. I inhale deeply, even though I know inside the car the air wouldn’t be what it is out there. It still makes me feel happy, makes me feel at home.

For a second I forget about the butterflies that are whipping up a tornado within my stomach.

We’d already stopped three times because I felt as though I was going to vomit.

I’ve never been so scared in my entire life. Not even looking down the barrel of a gun.

“You need to calm down,” Kace says sternly from the driver’s seat, but I can still hear the amusement in his voice.

“I destroyed them, Kace,” I argue. “What if they never forgive me for that? What if they hate me?”

“They’re gonna be so happy you’re alive. Why would they hate you when they get a second chance to have you in their lives? You’re overthinking it.” I can tell he’s getting frustrated with my constant self-doubt. I’d been putting this off for days. When the Board left with Camilla, all I could think about was seeing my mom, wrapping my arms around her and breathing in her scent.

When you’re close with your parents, I feel like the smell is one of the components you miss the most. It’s an automatic comfort. You know instantly that it’s them and that they’re there to protect you. Because that’s what they’ve done their whole lives.

But I have avoided this meeting.

The fear winning out over the need to have my family back in my life. And even though I knew I wanted to see her, all I’ve done is cried myself to sleep every night because I was completely paralyzed as I imagined the things she might say to me.

“So much has changed. The news about my mom and Gael, learning about Ezra and Ares. So much is different. How do I look at them the same?”

Kace’s hand covers mine and he squeezes, almost too tightly.

He’s tricked me today, telling me we’re going to check up on Luca, but instead he’s driven us out of the city. I knew once we left the city what he’s up to. “They’re the same people, Lily. Your mom is no different. She only told you what she did to protect you, you gotta know that.”

“Pull over, I think I’m gonna puke.”

He rolls his eyes. “No you’re not, you’re okay. Deep breaths.”

“I’m not one of your men, Kace, I’m not used to these kinds of high-pressure situations,” I snap, fanning myself with my hand as I feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead.

Sharp laughter causes me to jump in my seat and snap my head toward him winning him a sharp glare. “Are you kidding me?” He chuckles. “You shot Camilla in the kneecap. As far as I’m concerned you’re Agency alumni.”

Another wave of nausea floats over me and I grab at my chest. “Oh God, how am I gonna tell my mom I shot someone?”

“Well, I think considering that someone tried to have you killed, I think your mom will probably be proud. At least you know your mother-in-law is not going to cause shit at our wedding.”

My eyes open wide as my breath catches in my throat. “Wedding?” I look over at him and his eyes meet mine, they’re bright and sparkling. I can tell he’s not joking.

He laughs and looks away as he pulls into the driveway. “Oh look, here we are,” he says as the familiar image of the trees flicking by fills me with warmth.

Home.

Holy shit, I’m home.

All thoughts of a wedding fade as my nerves creep up on me at seeing my family. My hands shake and a nervous giggle escapes my mouth. I have no idea if they’re even home, but as we get closer I can see my mom and Liam in the garden, gardening in the veggie patch. My stomach tightens and tears spring to my eyes.

Liam looks up almost instantly toward the tinted SUV. There’s no way he can see inside, but his body contorts as he jumps up and down in a hysterical fit. He’s very intuitive, always has been and his excitement is clearly evident on his face, almost as if he knows I’m here. It’s exciting and kind of eerie at the same time. Mom is holding him back trying to stop him from running toward us as we pull up in the drive. He’s practically screaming at the car as Mom scrunches her face in obvious confusion at who the hell is at her home unannounced.

My heart is racing so hard at seeing Liam and Mom and tears well in my eyes as Kace turns the car off and we sit in a comfortable silence for a few seconds.

“I love you, I’m here for you, no matter what you need, okay?” Kace says and I nod as he wipes a stray tear from my cheek. I nod again and he smiles. “You ready?”

“No,” I whisper, but he simply exhales and gets out of the car leaving me in there as my mom and Liam look at him furrowing their brows.

“Can I help you?” Mom asks.

“Hi…” He walks around to the passenger side of the car and stands with them. My heart is racing so hard, my breathing accelerating at a record pace. “I think I have something that belongs to you.”

Mom tilts her head looking inside the car and purses her lips. “Oh?”

Kace lightly raps on the window and I bite my bottom lip tensing up as I grab the handle of the door. I gather myself and then open the door slowly stepping out. Liam starts to jump around and scream again as Mom diverts her eyes from the car toward my brother to try and calm him down.

“Sissy!” he calls out and Mom gasps trying to soothe him. Mom starts to well up as she shakes her head.

“Oh, no, sweet boy. You were doing so well,” Mom says pulling him into an embrace when he leaps from her arms and straight at me, finally making Mom turn to see me as Liam jumps into my arms.

I burst into tears embracing him as he knocks me off my feet. Kace tries to catch us but we tumble to the ground anyway, the grass a soft cushion for our fall. Liam wraps his strong arms around my neck, he cuddles me so tight.

“Hey, little bro. I missed you, too,” I grind out in between sobs of joy.

A loud gasp echoes from Mom as her hand swats to her mouth. “Lily?”

“Hey, mama,” I answer, my voice scratchy and rough.

“Lily?” she asks again, her face pale.

Kace moves toward her, obviously scared she might pass out.

“Mama, it’s me. I’m here.”

She screams, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stumbles forward and drops down on the grass beside us. Liam pulls back as Mom’s hands cup my face. She traces my features, her fingers trailing across my jaw, pushing my hair back behind my ears.

She’s wondering if I’m real.

“It’s you,” she croaks. “You’re…” Another loud sob stops her from continuing and she grabs my shoulders, squashing me against her chest.

Her scent.

There it is.

I inhale deeply, and suddenly it hits me. I’m home. Everything is going to be okay. I clutch her clothing in my hands. There’s dirt covering the both of us, and grass in my hair, but I don’t fucking care.

Liam is on his feet running toward the house as I hear heavy footsteps on the cabin’s wooden floors.

“What in God’s name are you screaming about?” My dad’s voice yells as he appears in the doorway, axe in hand looking like he’s ready to swing.

He spots Liam first, running for the house, and I can see fear flash across his face. He moves to Kace next and the protective instincts kick in, his eyes narrow and his grip gets a little tight.

Liam slips past him with a gleeful laugh, diving inside.

“Who the hell are…” I can see the moment of recognition on his face when his eyes finally meet mine. Like in slow motion, the axe falls from his hands, toppling over the back of his shoulder and landing on the porch. I cringe when it just misses his foot and bounces away.

“Lily.” It comes out as a whisper, but I hear it and a new load of tears come. My mom’s back is to him, her arms still wrapped tightly around my body, rocking us back and forth as she cries into my hair.

Dad stumbles down the porch steps, nearly tripping several times before he reaches us.

“Hi, Daddy…” I laugh. I don’t know why, but I can’t stop laughing. Maybe it’s because the situation is just so fucking ridiculous. I’m meant to be dead. But I’m here, alive, cuddling my parents as they look at me like I’m a ghost.

When it finally clicks in his brain, he sinks to his knees beside us and throws his arms around our shaking bodies. His beard scratches my face but I don’t care, secretly I kinda love it. He’s never been without it, so it was just another reminder that yes, I am… finally home.

Liam runs back out of the house, jumping around like a mad man. “Sissy is back, Dad!”

“I know, dude,” my dad chokes out before taking a deep breath in. “She’s back.”

I’m not sure how long we stay like this, my parents with their arms wrapped around me, huddled on the grass outside our home. Our tears have run dry when they both pull back.

My mom forever the strong protector, her eyes move to Kace, who’s chatting to the side with a still overly excited Liam. Kace is laughing as Liam tells him stories about what he’s been up to since I’ve been gone.

“And who might this be?” my mom finally asks, her eyes wandering over him.

“Mom!” I gasp. “Do not tell me you just checked out my boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” She laughs, drawing Kace’s attention. “Well, I think now that I’ve run out of tears, that there’s a story we need to hear.”

Dad helps us both to our feet, tucking us under each arm. “Do I need my shotgun for this story?” he asks with a slight growl, eyeing Kace over his shoulder as he and Liam follow us toward the house.

“Daddy, be nice,” I warn sternly, even as I cuddle in closer to his side.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to hear this,” my mom says, looking over at me in concern.

“I’m not sure you’ll even believe it when you do.”

 

 

The hours drag on as I explain to my parents how the hell it is I’m still breathing.

Kace every now and then squeezes my hand, letting me know when I’m giving them too much information. He explained days ago how they just needed to know what they needed to know.

The less they know, the less danger it puts them in.

My mom’s eyes meet Kace’s across the table. “I’m sorry for what happened with your mother. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been to realize the things you have about her.” She sighs deeply before shifting her gaze to mine. “I was fearful of having to tell Lily the same things about her biological father. It’s hard for some parents to understand how someone who has a child, can’t love them the way we do.”

Kace nods in understanding. “Thank you, it will take time, but with my dad back, it won’t take long. He was always my rock anyway. When things came to light, I guess I started to realize the signs about Camilla had been there the whole time.”

“I commend you for what you do,” my dad says, tapping his fingers on the table. “But here’s my concern… I just got back the daughter I thought I’d lost forever. Frankly, letting her out of my sight right now makes me want to punch someone in the face.”

Kace chuckles as he lays his arm across the back of my chair. My body instantly gravitates toward his and I find myself leaning into him. “Trust me, I hear you. But believe me also when I say that Lily is stronger than anyone could give her credit for, even herself. While I can’t promise that danger won’t come knocking again, I can promise that she’s my priority, even if it means sending her to Antarctica in order to keep her safe.”

My dad is not completely appeased by his answer and his eyes move to me. “Lily…”

“He’s it, Dad,” I say simply.

He frowns back at me but doesn’t say a word.

It’s going to take some convincing, I realize that. They’re scared that I could be taken away from them again in a second and having to go through that grief once is bad enough but twice seems almost unsurvivable.

I want to ease their thoughts and fears. Tell them that I’ll come home, stay home. Keep away from the danger that surrounds Kace and The Agency. But the reality is, I just can’t. I don’t want to. The thought of being separated from him now brings a sharp ache to my chest, and I struggle to breathe.

“Lily, it’s fine,” Kace soothes, my mom sits a little taller as she realizes just how much I’m struggling.

“Baby,” she whispers, getting up from her chair and rounding the table. She crouches next to me but doesn’t for a second try to take me away from the comfort of the man I love. “We understand, we do.”

“You shouldn’t have had to go through this,” I whisper as I choke on a breath.

“But people do, every single day,” she says softly. “People die in car accidents, they lose their lives crossing the street, they choke on pieces of steak for goodness sake.”

I giggle, I can’t stop it as it bubbles up from my throat.

“But it’s not every day that they find the person they want to spend the rest of their lives with. That person whose soul is so intertwined with theirs that they struggle to breathe in their absence.” Her eyes move to Kace. “Death is common. It’s heart aching, soul consuming love, that is rare.”

Kace’s hand squeezes my shoulder and the tension in my body reacts as I look over at my dad, the only dad I’ve ever known, and the only one I would ever claim, and see the way he’s looking at my mom.

He gets it.

Because that was her for him.

“It’s real,” I whisper.

Dad finally looks at me and nods. “I know, baby girl, I know.”

We talk for a little longer. My mom telling me about the horses, my dad complaining about how much food they eat.

My body is warm.

“We need to get going. I have some errands to run before we head home,” Kace says finally. I thought I would be sad, having to leave my parents after the complete and utter mess I left them in. But I’m not. I can come back whenever I want now. I can call my mom when I miss her, I can tell her about my day.

My life is back to normal, but I guess in a way it’s not.

It’s better.

Because now I have Kace.

My parents and brother wave goodbye from the porch as we pull out the driveway and head back toward the city.

Peace—my body and mind feel at complete peace.

I rest my head against the window and smile as I close my eyes and let my worries drift away.

When I wake up, I’m dazed for a second. We’re still driving but we aren’t in the city. I blink a few times, watching as pretty suburban houses move by as Kace cruises down a street I’m not familiar with.

“Where are we?” I ask, my voice raspy. I sit a little straighter as Kace pulls through two large gates. They pull closed behind us as he continues down the narrow street. The houses here look newer, larger. They’re extremely beautiful, yet the area seems empty.

Kace pulls into a driveway, parking in front of a large garage door. He still doesn’t speak, just smiles across at me before pulling on his door handle and climbing out. I sigh, wishing I could just go back to our hotel room and curl up in bed with him, but he obviously has a purpose here. Kace never does anything without a purpose.

I take a deep breath and open the door, taking in the house in front of me as I make my way around the front of the car. Every part of the front of the house has large windows lined with white. I can only imagine just how bright and beautiful it will be inside.

The house is a soft gray-green color with wooden paneling, a color that’s strangely calming and peaceful. But the piece that stands out the most is the stunning handcrafted brickwork that frames the door and goes all the way up to the second floor. It’s like a centerpiece of perfection, a little chaos within the calm, and it fits perfectly.

Kace and I stand shoulder to shoulder, staring up at the gorgeous looking home. “Are we going to go in?” I ask as I take note of the creeping ivy crawling up a trellis next to the garage.

“Yup,” he answers simply but doesn’t move.

“Okay…” I say, starting to feel a little strange as I look around. There aren’t any other cars on the street or parked in driveways. For the most part, it feels deserted. “Who lives here?”

“We do.”

I freeze, my heart stopping for a moment. “I’m sorry… Say. That. Again.”

Kace laughs, turning to me and pulling on my hand. I fall forward into his chest and he wraps his arms around me. I’m too stunned to speak, all I can do is stare at him in a mixture of confusion and shock.

“It’s ours, I bought it.”

I look over at the house, the stunning family style home, then back at Kace. Then back at the house. Then back to Kace.

He won’t wipe this stupid smirk off his face, and I almost want to slap him. Kace takes my hand and pulls it up to his mouth, pressing his lips to my knuckles. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

I can’t even argue as he pulls me toward the front door, the most fucking amazing front door. It’s large, much larger than your average door, wooden and painted black. He turns the knob and pushes it open, allowing it to swing back against the wall.

My shoes squeak on the varnished wooden floor as I step inside, Kace close at my back. The house is already furnished. Walking into the entranceway, to my left there’s a large expansive sitting room, bookshelves filled with books line the walls, and there are two large sofas that looks like they could actually be made out of clouds. If my mind weren't completely running wild right now, I probably wouldn’t be able to fight the urge to run and leap on them. They just look so damn soft.

Kace’s hand on my back directs me forward where the room then opens up into an open plan area. There’s a living room with another sofa and television, a dining room and the largest kitchen I’ve ever seen. I run my fingers along the sparkling marble bench top as I move into the kitchen. Kace stands on the other side of the island, watching me carefully with a soft smile.

“I don’t cook.” I’m not sure why those are the words I decide to speak at this point. I could have said anything, but those are the only words my lips can form.

Kace chuckles as he boosts himself onto one of the stools at the breakfast bar. “I don’t mind.”

I frown, but turn around, taking it all in. On the fridge I spot some pictures and on closer inspection I realize exactly what they are of. There is one of Liam and me, another of Molly and me laughing as we attempt to take a selfie. As I spin again and start to examine the room, I begin to realize there are small things spread throughout the room. Things I recognize. Things I thought I’d lost forever.

“You got everything from my apartment,” I gasp. Emotions wash over me and once again the tears start to fall, but beneath them, I’m smiling. I’m smiling so hard my cheeks ache. “This is ours?”

Kace grins as he comes around the counter and brushes my tears from my cheeks with his thumbs. “It is unless you think that’s moving too fast?”

I can’t help the manic laughter that leaves my mouth, it sounds strange, like I am choking. “Too fast? I think we moved well past too fast the day you handed me a gun and asked me to trust you.”

Kace leans back against the bench top, his eyes constantly watching me as I rush through the space running my hands along all the surfaces, taking in the different textures and smells of new leather from the sofa.

“I thought you could go back to college,” Kace says suddenly, halting my steps. I look over and raise my eyebrow at him.

“College?”

He nods. “Yeah, you know, finish off your Doctor of Veterinary Medicine degree and open your own business. One where you can travel out to farms and work with large animals like you wanted. But also go to people’s homes, too.”

I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Instead, I just kind of stand here looking like some kind of fish out of water. “Wow! How is this my life right now? How is this happening?”

Kace walks over and takes me into his arms. “You gave up everything. The possibility of a life and future to come with me, I want to give you something in return. Without you, I don’t know what I’d be doing right now, I don’t even know if I’d still be alive.”

I trail my hand down his arm and shake my head. “It’s strange you say that because I’m realizing now that I really didn’t have anything to give up. I was skating by, working, spending too much time watching Netflix. Content with having dreams, but knowing they’d never come to anything. But now… this… this is everything.”

“Come on, there’s more,” he urges, dragging me toward a staircase that I seem to have passed over in my utter awe and amazement.

He leads me upstairs, telling me about the house and the neighborhood. “It’s gated, with security. Half the team are looking at moving into the area. It’ll be super safe for you when I’m away, and there’s a big backyard. Now that we decided to let Daisy stay with Molly for her added protection - just in case - we could get a dog, or you could help foster some, whatever you want.” He’s rambling now, and for the first time I can tell he’s not just excited to show me the house, he’s excited about it himself.

I laugh. “Oh God, don’t tell me Luca is gonna be our neighbor or something,” I say that like it’s a bad thing, but honestly, I think I might actually kind of enjoy having him close, and I know for a fact Kace would too.

He rolls his eyes. “He’s trying to move himself in, so having him next door would be a bonus.”

We check out each bedroom, four in total, before heading back to the master where there’s a walk-in wardrobe and an ensuite with a deep, decadent spa bath.

“You’ll be heading back to work soon,” I say as I take a seat at the edge of the king bed.

The room is quiet for a second. “You know it has to be done.”

I nod, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “Yes, I know. I know how much it means to you, and to be honest, I’m proud of the fact that you’re this amazing man. A man that I get to love and support, but it still scares me, and it’s gonna scare me every single time you walk out that door.”

“I can’t lie and tell you that I’ll always be safe,” Kace tells me, taking a seat beside me, the bed dipping under his weight. “That’s simply not true. Especially now that we’ve gotta go in and fix the shit-storm Camilla started. There are gonna be people who are pissed the fuck off that she’s been taken out.”

I nod. “And you’re gonna be there, in this place where your mother used to be, fixing her mistakes and working beside a father who you thought was dead. I mean come on, Kace, is your mind really ready to deal with that mess?”

He sighs, inhaling deeply before he turns his body to face me. “Yes, because I know that once again, we will be doing what’s right. And I’ll know that at the end of the day if I’m about to tear my fucking hair out or lose my damn mind, I can come home and sink into bed with you. The one person who saw the good inside me back when I didn’t even know myself if it was there.”

His words soothe the aching need in my gut to protect him, to fight him, and to plead for him not go back there. Because I know he can’t stop. Kace is determined and caring, and he’s one of the good guys. One of the guys you want fighting for you, protecting you. Who am I to steal something like that from a world that by the sounds of it, needs him just as much as I do?

His heart is in his work, and I fucking love him for it, just like he loves me for mine.

The fact that he’d thought of all this. Planned how I can go back to college and how I can incorporate my love for animals into our life.

Not my life.

Our life.

It might scare the crap out of me.

I might spend every moment he’s gone wondering if he’s okay, or if he will come home.

But the one thing I do know is that my mom was right.

Death comes every day to those who don’t deserve it. To those who other people love. To those who never lived a moment of their lives with regret or not following their heart or dreams.

And I would not let that be us.

I will love Kace with every inch of my being, for as long as we have left because this is it.

He is it.

Whether in life or death, our souls are connected, and they will find each other again someday. But for now…

“Is this our bed?”

He raises an eyebrow at me. “Yeah, I got all new furniture. Is that okay?”

“Definitely…” I grin. “But it feels a little hard… I think we need to break it in.”

He’s on his feet before I can even finish my sentence, picking me up and throwing my body into the center of the bed before crawling over the top of me. “I fucking love you.”

“I love you, too… now show me how much.”