Gently maneuvering the key within the lock of the door, Alex pushed it open and made her way into the apartment. Only the limited natural sunlight from the kitchen peered through to light the space.
“Coffee. I need more coffee.”
Nearly to the coffee pot, she heard a door close softly from the hall. Making her way to the hallway, she was surprised to find the bathroom door open and Tyson’s bedroom door closed. Her hand raised to knock, she paused as she listened to a soft whimper from the other side. A two-second internal battle had her debating on whether to walk away or knock and see if he was okay. She knocked.
“Ty…you okay?”
Nearly three seconds later, he responded. “Yeah.”
“Can I come in?”
“Why?”
With this she turned the nob and pushed the door open—willing to accept the visual consequences for whatever was on the other side. She found her brother in a hoodie and sweatpants—sloppy-faced while sitting on his bed.
“Tyson…you’re crying.”
“No shit?”
“What’s the matter?”
With this, Tyson’s lips pursed as he broke eye contact—tears streaking down either cheek.
In a near frantic state, Alex approached. “Ty, do you feel okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Is it Becca? Are you and Becca okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Baby-Ty…talk to me. Whatever’s going on I’m here for—”
“It’s Mom, Alex. I miss Mom. I keep having dreams about her.”
“Oh.” The lack of emotion in her voice in response to her brother’s proclamation even caught Alex a bit by surprise.
“I kinda just wanna be alone, Alex.”
His tone was gentle but the words hurt her.
“Tyson…I’m always here for you.”
“I know, Alex. I just gotta work it out I think.”
He sat with his eyes turned from her gaze. Alex leaned down, kissing her brother’s wet cheek before exiting his room. She wanted more than anything to comfort him, but knew he was right. His grief was something she couldn’t quite connect to. He was grieving a woman that Alex had no emotional bond with.
In the kitchen, Alex began preparing breakfast—hoping a meal might brighten Tyson’s spirits. Quickly beating the pancake batter, she was startled as she was grabbed from behind. Tyson hugged her as he rested his cheek on her shoulder.
“I wasn’t trying to be mean, Alex. We promised no more tears…no more pantywaist—”
“Ty…” Turning to him, she smiled and ruffled his hair. “Your mother passed away. Do whatever you need to deal with that. That doesn’t make you a pantywaist.”
“Cool. So…is all this business for you or…”
“Ha! Over easy or scrambled.”
“Duh…scrambled. And I want Mickey-Mouse pancakes like you used to make.”
The lack of sarcasm in his voice and on his face left Alex to wonder if the childish request were legitimate. “Um…okay. Do you want your milk in sippy-cup, too?”
“Just messing with you, chef. What can I do to help?”
***
The placid hospital halls had her eyelids begging to close. Sitting at the nurse’s station, Alex was growing weary of the ventilator alarm calling for her attention from down the hall. She longed for her relief to arrive, she longed for her bed and pillow, and she found herself increasingly longing for the beginning of the month. The thought of trading the grueling nightshift routine for something more structured seemed to offer a temporary euphoric rush.
Also circling her thoughts was his face. Bishop’s face settled like fog in her brain. His smile and laugh had her questioning her own motives.
In all honesty there was nothing left to question. Her curiosity of his well-being had expanded well beyond mere concern. He was now occupying the majority of mental downtime she’d been allotted during shift.
Pushing the plaguing reality of the dynamics surrounding the situation to the back of her mind, she found herself anxious to be in his presence again, even if it left her breathless and drenched in sweat—all while fully clothed. The dynamics of the situation, completely outlandish, had a fogging quality to them.
Her shift finally over, Alex drove home to her comfortable bed. Her dark bedroom made it easy to drift.
If dreams found her, she didn’t remember them.
***
“Alex.” Her brother’s harsh whisper woke her immediately. He stood before her in pajama bottoms and a look of complete concern.
The alarm clock read 14:44—sixteen minutes before it was set to go off.
“What’s wrong, Ty?”
“Shit…I need your help, Alex.”
Instantly sitting up in bed, Alex flung the bedding from her. “What is it? Are you okay?”
“Hurry. The kitchen.”
Making her way through the freshly cleaned apartment to the kitchen, Alex rounded the corner to look upon linoleum flooring covered in sudsy bubbles. “Tyson…what happened?”
“I broke it! I was…I was just trying to get the house all clean and shit. I broke the damn dishwasher.”
Taking the time to study the situation—her brother in dirty pajama bottoms—the cleaning agents about the counter tops…it was clear Tyson was attempting to surprise her by cleaning up their home.
“Ty…did you put Dawn in the dishwasher?” The stress on his face as his gaze danced about the sudsy floor was nearly comical; however, Alex could tell her brother was completely affected by the situation.
“Yeah. But I only filled it to the line. I don’t…I don’t get it.”
“It’s okay, Ty. Promise. It’s not broken.”
Instantly Tyson was looking toward his sister. “But…why the hell is it…I don’t understand.”
“The dishwasher takes a special kind of detergent. This is what happens when you put dishwashing liquid in there.”
“Huh? The fuck is the difference?”
Removing the Cascade bottle from beneath the kitchen sink, Alex explained the difference as her brother listened with a look of defeat.
“It’s really no big deal, Ty. Thanks for cleaning the house. I don’t know what I did to deserve such an awesome brother.”
“Well…it was partially for you. Becca is…if it’s okay with you, Becca’s gonna come over tonight and watch a movie with me.”
“Oh. Tyson, this is your home too. Your guests are always welcome over here.”
“Cool.”
“I hope you plan on bathing before she gets here because you look greasier than the bottom of a McDonald’s bag.”
“You asshole! I’ve been cleaning all day, Alex.” He smiled as he walked through the bubbles.
“I know. And I appreciate it. I’ll help you get this mess cleaned up so you can go de-skank.”
With the mess cleaned, the remainder of the afternoon remained relatively uneventful. Alex watched the clock anxiously, her mind rejecting any logicality, until finally she was driving to meet Bishop.
Each time another rational thought entered her mind…this is insane…if he learns of the dynamics he’ll hate me…he will eventually learn the entire truth, it was quickly quelled and replaced with his face—flawless and coaxing her into his smile.
Approaching the park, her gaze bounced about the sidewalk and numerous pedestrians until it fell on the smile that had her spellbound.
Car parked, her heart began racing as she walked to him—as if this were their first encounter all over again.
She wished she’d have selected a more strategic excuse as to why she was lurking near his home two days prior. Something such as walking or even birdwatching would allow for more conversation time. The intensive nature of her justification would, for the time being, leave her sweaty and salty after each encounter.
“Well hello there, ma’am.”
“Ma’am? Well, good day to you, sir.”
Sharing smiles and elongated glances, the two engaged in small talk—just enough to have Alex longing for more, and then they were off and running. The trail was littered with little faces—both canine and child. It appeared as though there was a birthday party of some sort as kids zigzagged about the area mindlessly.
The air entering her nostrils was clean and fresh. She’d just found her stride when Bishop yelped and suddenly stopped.
He hopped on one foot while holding the other, grimacing in pain. “Shit!”
Instantly Alex was by his side, offering support to keep him balanced.
With his broad arm around her shoulders, she worked to keep him upright while they both caught their breath.
“You okay?”
“Nah. I think I stepped on a nail or something.”
She helped him to the ground, seated as comfortably as possible in the green grass.
She crawled toward his affected foot, eying the running trail for any signs of a culprit. “Who would put a nail here…” and then she noticed a large, thorny tree near them. The spikes protruding from the branches were intimidating enough to look at; she imagined his foot was impaled with one.
As she lifted the bottom of his shoe to meet her eyes, their gaze connected. “Ouch, boy. You got thorned.”
“Thorned?”
Her fingernails grasped either side of the large brown thorn, but it was stuck tight and barely protruding from the heel of his shoe. “Yeah. You stepped on a huge thorn. We’ll need pliers or—”
“Here. My pocketknife has some.”
Finally she had firm grasp on the thorn. “One…two…”
He winced as she yanked it from his foot. “Ouch…three.”
The sweat cascading from his face to his shirt glistened in the evening sun. She grabbed his shoe and gently pulled it off, revealing a blood-soaked sock. Peeling the sock off, she held the bottom of his trembling foot while she visualized the piercing injury.
“How bad is it?”
“It’s real bad. That…that type of thorn is toxic.”
“Huh?” His puzzled face, coursing with concern, had Alex diverting eye contact and trying not to smile.
“Yeah. Real toxic.”
“You sure? Why the hell would they put a toxic-ass tree with thorns in a park—”
“There’s only one known cure. Thai food. Lots of spicy Thai food.”
As a smile etched its way across his face, he leaned forward. “I’m not sure if I can handle that.”
“I’ll help you hobble to the car.”
“Okay. But I meant the Thai food. Sounds intense.”
“No, it sounds delicious.”
“All right, Doc. If you say that’s the only cure, I’ll just muster up the intestinal fortitude and pray for the best.”
As she helped him to his feet, she patted his sweat-drenched back. “I promise it won’t be that excruciating.”
***
There was a certain quality to his smile that left Alex scrambling for words as she found herself lost in the clustered scene. Seated across from him in a small booth, she watched him pick through his meal curiously. His injured foot was nestled comfortably on the cushioned seat next to her.
The fact that she understood the fragility of their blossoming friendship, or whatever it was, made the rarity of this situation nearly hypnotic.
Walking away…running rather, from her injured jogging buddy would save her from a potential disaster in the making. But then he would smile, their gaze would connect, and she was scrambling once more.
“You swim much?” Chocking the words out, Bishop grimaced as he forced his food down.
“Um. No, not really. That pepper get ya?”
“Oh yeah. You wanna swim at my folk’s house tonight? Promise I’m not a freak or anything.”
Instantly Alex found the irony in the situation. If he only knew…“I don’t think you’re a freak.” She sipped her water in an effort to buy a few seconds and formulate an appropriate, rational response.
“Too soon?”
“Too…too soon for what, Bishop?”
His half-cocked smile was happy, yet lacking something. There was a certain dullness, a lackluster-quality to his gaze. “Nothin’.”
“I don’t have a swimming suit, Bishop.”
“Oh. Yeah.”
“I…I need to tell you something, Bishop.” The words were coming from her mouth before her brain could process them—and then her phone was buzzing atop the table…Tyson. “Ty?”
“Alex…um. When are you coming home?”
“Not sure. Are you okay?”
“Oh yeah, sure. Me and Becca are hanging at the house and…I was just checking to see when you were gonna be home.”
“Oh…gotcha. You love birds play safe and I’ll see you later this evening. I’ll text before I head that direction.”
“You da best.”
“Later, Tyson.”
Pressing end on her phone, Alex turned her attention toward an engaged Bishop, watching her intently.
“He okay?”
“Tyson? Yeah. He’s good. He’s hanging out with his little girlfriend and they wanted to know how much alone time they had.”
Bishop smirked as he leaned back. “So?”
“So…so what?”
“How much alone time do they have?”
“Look…Bishop—”
“Alex, I want to keep running with you…but I think I’d like to hang out with you just, ya know, doing regular stuff too.”
“Regular stuff? Like swimming at your parent’s house?”
“Oh. I get it. It’s cool.” The beaten tone and diverted eye contact had Alex churning inside.
“What? What do you mean? You get what?” She leaned forward and smiled largely.
“That’s what you wanted to tell me…that this was just—”
“I can’t swim very well. I was going to tell you that I can’t swim very well.” And with that she found herself lying to him again.
“Huh?”
“I’d like to do normal stuff too, but let’s save the swimming lesson for another night.”
Bishop’s smile returned as his foot tapped her thigh. “Soooo, do you want to hang out or…”
“Let’s get some cake from the bakery next door and go back to the park.”
“Chocolate?”
“Hell yes.”
At the park, seated in an open area on top of a lush blanket of green grass, Alex watched Bishop set his empty cake plate down and look to the darkening sky. “Stars are pretty tonight, Bishop.”
Instantly he turned his gaze toward her. “Sometimes it feels like I’m being pulled in a million directions at the same time…like I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Ya know?” The serious tone had Alex sitting up straight.
“Like, a lot of people are expecting stuff from you?”
“Nah. That’s just it. I think I’ve convinced myself that everyone is demanding from me, but in reality I’m just wandering. I’m pulling myself in all these directions because I don’t know what I want or what I’m supposed to be doing.”
“Oh. No worries. That’s just called adulting. I hear it gets more bizarre with age.”
“Hope so.”
“You’re good. Promise. You’re young, educated…you’re good.”
The twilight on his face had her gaze fixed.
“Help me up?” He pointed toward his injured foot and smiled.
“Always.” As she stood to her feet, wiping crumbs and grass from her clothing, she reached for his hand and lifted him to his good foot for a total two seconds…and then they were both tumbling back to the soft earth after losing balance. Laughing while entangled, their gaze met as silence fell across the scene. Her own eyes reflected in his, both showcasing excitement and uncertainty. A brief pause, and then he was pressing his lips to hers from on top of her. The earth cradled the back of her head, his approach was smooth and less than invasive, but the mounting guilt had her turning from him.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Alex. I just…”
Looking up at him, the sky above him outlining his head, she caved. There had to be a way around it. There had to be a way to hold on to him. This was too perfect. Her hand went behind his head as she lowered his face to meet hers, locking their lips. Her heart pounded in her ears as she took in the moment, the sounds their mouths made, the placement of his hands on her torso, his taste and scent.
As they pulled apart, there was no awkward glance, only a mutual affection adorning his face. “This was the regular stuff you had in mind?”
“Ha!” He toppled to his back, knees bent as he looked to the sky. “I could have said lets go for a walk but my foot and all.”
“Right…”
“I like you, Alex. From…like, from right when I saw you in your car. I liked you. But I want to take things slow.”
“Really? Slow? We’ve hung out twice and we’re swopping spit.”
The smile he gave her as he propped himself on his elbow had Alex flushing. “I want to get to know you if you’re cool with that.”
Biting her bottom lip, she inhaled deeply. “Yes…I’m cool with that.”