The pokes, prods, and aching throat and lungs were nothing in comparison to the ache in his heart. Not knowing of Alex and her condition was dreadful. Not being able to comfort his friend, Tyson, made it even worse.
Bishop tried to contain his anxiety as he remained in an isolated emergency department room. He wore a hospital gown and was hooked to an I.V. pole.
The composure he’d maintained was obliterated the moment his mother came charging through the door of the room.
“Bishop!” Constance ran to him.
Bishop sat up in bed and cradled his face into his mother. “Mom!” He wailed out as she squeezed him.
“Oh, my boy, you’re okay. You’re alive and okay.”
Bishop was nearly incapable of speaking, but had to beg his mother to find the answers he so desperately needed. “Please…please, Mom, you have to find out if…if she’s okay.”
She took his face in her hands, kissing his cheek.
“Mom, please! I have to know she’s okay. And Tyson, he’s…”
“Okay, sweet boy. I will find out. I need you to rest. Please, rest your head and eyes, you mustn’t strain your voice anymore.”
“Please, Mom.”
“I’ll be back soon.”
What seemed like an eternity was actually only seven minutes according to the clock on the wall. Bishop scanned his mother’s face as she entered the room.
“Bish…I was told Tyson is with Becca, they are in the waiting room. He is okay right now.”
“And Alex?”
The slight pause had Bishop ready to fling the bedding off of him and run to her down the hall.
“She was in there for so long, Bishop.”
“Mom! Is she okay?”
“It’s too soon to tell, sweet boy. She’s been intubated, with the breathing tube, and sedated. They don’t know if she was without oxygen and if so for how long.”
His mother’s words were vile. “No! Oh my god, no! It’s going to happen. She’s going to die.”
“Bish, it is too soon to tell, don’t think like that yet.”
Looking to his mother, he canned his emotions momentarily. “You’re a physician, what do you think? Does it look bad? Tell me the truth, Mom.”
“She was unresponsive when they brought her in, but it’s just too soon to tell, Bishop. The brain is such an odd thing. Only time will give us an accurate idea. It is just too soon to know.”
A slight commotion in the hall caught their attention. “I just need to see them.” Tyson came through the door, followed by a disgruntled nurse. He immediately went to Constance, hugging her as he cried.
“I’m sorry. I told this young man, family only, but he wouldn’t—”
“He is family.” Constance had a sharp tone to her voice; it instantly caught the elder nurse off guard.
“My apologies.”
“That is all, leave us be.”
The nurse left as Constance tried to comfort Tyson.
“Constance…I can’t…I can’t lose, Alex! She’s everything to me. I can’t lose her.”
“I know. I know, Tyson.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do!”
“Sweet Tyson, she’s in the right place and getting all the right intervention.”
Another nurse entered the room. “We can only have one guest back here. I’m sorry but those are the rules.”
Tyson wiped his eyes and looked to her. “Can I go to my sister’s room? Alex Ayers. Can I go in her room?”
“Sorry, kid, they’re about to transport her to the critical care unit and visiting hours are over up there. We don’t have any other rooms. Mr. Holloway you’re gonna have to stay down here in the E.R. tonight. But only one guest.”
Tyson frantically looked to Constance as the nurse left. “Becca had to leave. Her mom already came. I don’t want to go home by myself—”
“It’s okay, Tyson. You will come home with me. I can’t sleep here, and Bishop needs his rest. We’ll be back first thing in the morning.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes, Tyson, you and Mom go home and get some rest, bud. Come here.” Bishop hugged Tyson as he continued to cry. Bishop realized he had to stay strong and remain positive for Tyson.
“I’m so scared, B.”
“Me too. But we have got to think good thoughts, okay?”
“Okay.”
The night was filled with sounding alarms and nurses and other medical staff calling down the hall. There was little rest and no sleep.
***
“You’re all set, Mr. Holloway. Do you have a ride?”
“What time are visiting hours in the I.C.U.?”
“Right now.” The morning nurse was much kinder than the nurse from the previous evening.
“Thank you again for sending my clothes to be washed. I appreciate it.”
“Yes. Please remember to fill those prescriptions and check in with your primary care provider in three days, okay?”
“Okay.”
Bishop made his way to the elevator and then to the intensive care unit. He introduced himself as family and was taken to Alex’s room.
Seeing her with the endotracheal tube in her mouth and the countless lines running to her was nearly overwhelming. He couldn’t help but think of Nathan.
Pulling a chair near the bed, he took her hand, still soiled from soot. “Alex…you are the strongest woman…person I’ve ever met. I know you can beat this. I know you can.”
As he kissed her hand, another nurse entered the room. “Are you Tyson?”
“Um, no, I’m her boyfriend.”
“Oh.”
“Can you tell me how she’s doing?”
“Actually, no, I can’t. Sorry. You are not immediate family.”
“Okeydoke.” His tone was low and defeated.
“When her brother arrives we can discuss Alex’s condition.”
“’K”
As the nurse left, a familiar voice was heard from the other side of the door.
Bishop stood and looked to see Pam talking and reading a chart. He instantly walked to her.
“Pam?”
“Bishop! Hello there.” She greeted him with a hug.
“Thank you for coming, Tyson needs all the support he can get.”
“What?” Pam cocked her head, clearly stunned by the statement.
“Aren’t you here to see Ty?”
“Is Tyson sick, Bishop?”
“No…have you not heard about Alex?”
The color in Pam’s face seemed to empty, she looked toward her notebook. “Alexandra Ayers. Oh…my…gosh.”
“What?”
As if the wind was knocked from his lungs—Bishop was breathless, his lip quivered as he turned from Pam and walked toward the waiting room. She’s here for Alex.
Pam’s soft footsteps were heard behind him.
“Bishop, sit and relax…breathe.”
“No…I can’t believe this.” He hit his knees as he began crying. “They know for sure? They know she’s gone?”
“Bishop, I can’t talk with you about this case—”
“Pam, please!”
“Bishop.” Tilting her head as she gazed on him sympathetically, she took in a deep breath and exhaled forcefully. “I’m here on an early referral. Alexandra Ayers is a registered donor. They turned off her sedation and she’s not responding as quickly as they anticipated she would. I’m only following her case.”
“I don’t understand. Is her brain dead?”
“No, her brain is not dead. But she may have suffered an anoxic injury. Do you know what that is?”
“Um…a brain injury from a lack of oxygen?”
“Yes. Sometimes in situations like these, when a family hears their loved one has no chance of a meaningful recovery, they elect to withdraw support and allow their loved one to pass with dignity because they feel they would not want to live like that. And sometimes, we are able to fulfill that person’s wish to be an organ donor after they have naturally passed away.”
“So you’re just here to…”
“I’m only here to follow up on the referral and obtain basic information. As I said, this is an early referral, and I really shouldn’t even be discussing this with you, regardless of your relationship with her.”
“Shit. I can’t believe this. How the hell could this have happened?”
“Bishop, it is highly important that you don’t mention to Tyson that you saw me here. I don’t want to upset him. Let the physician speak to him.”
“I won’t mention it. But I seriously can’t believe this is my life right now.”
Bishop stood from the floor, leaving Pam in the waiting room as he made his way back to Alex—tears streaming as he closed the curtain behind him. He felt it difficult to concentrate and focus his gaze.
“I’m so sorry, Alex.” He sat next to her again, taking her hand. “This entire time you’ve wanted my forgiveness…you can have it, take it. Please, forgive me. I’m so sorry! We could have been past this and had so many memories made. I’m so stupid. I’m seriously so dumb. You and I could have been something and now I’ll never know because of my stupid pride. And you…you had so much to give this world. I’m so sorry I didn’t get to you sooner. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”
His lips pressed firmly to her forehead as tears fell to her face. “You are such an amazing person. It’s been an honor to even know you…and the fact that you gave me a chance still blows my mind, Alex Ayers.”
Bishop was left without words as he felt his fingers being slightly squeezed within her grasp.
He sat back, staring at their coupled hands in complete awe.
“Holy…holy shit. Alex, are you there? Squeeze my hand again.” Almost instantly he felt her gentle squeeze. Nearly hyperventilating, he almost fell from his seat. “Oh my god, thank you, thank you for not leaving us. Stay with us.” He kissed her face multiple times. “I don’t care about anything else. We can get through anything if you can get through this.”
He turned to the door. “Nurse! I need a nurse in here!”
Within seconds there were three bedside nurses entering the room, Pam entering behind them.
“She’s squeezing my hand. She’s actually squeezing it.”
“Are you sure?” The nurse walked to Alex, taking her other hand. “Alex…sweetie, can you squeeze my—oh my. Yep she’s in there.” She produced a pin light to examine her eyes but before she could look into them, Alex was looking back at her. “Well hello there, young lady.”
“Hey, beautiful.” Bishop kissed her forehead once more.
“Oh, this makes my heart happy.” Pam walked to the bedside next to Bishop.
It was perfect timing in every sense as Tyson and Constance entered the room.
“Pam? Why are you here?” The intense worry laced Tyson’s face—straining his voice.
“I’m only here for you, Tyson. I think someone wants to see you.”
Tyson’s eyes widened as he pushed past the medical staff and to his sister. “Alex! You’re awake.” Tyson took his sister’s hand as Bishop’s mother hugged him from behind. “Oh, I was so worried.”
“It’s okay now, Mom. We’re all going to be okay.”
“Alex…I love you so much. I’ll be here until you get better and I promise I won’t give up until you do.” Tyson continued kissing his sister’s hand, crouched over the bed as he gently wiped away a few of her escaping tears.
“Excuse me.” A short, portly physician entered the room and made his way to the head of the bed. “Hey there, Ms. Ayers. You had me worried, young lady. Can you follow my finger?”
Bishop watched with delight as a squinting Alex followed the doctor’s index finger.
“Excellent. Alex, I’m sure you’re confused right now, but I’m Dr. Reynolds. You and one other person were rescued from a fire last night. You sustained some pretty significant airway trauma so we had to get down there really clean that gunk out and see what we were up against. There’s a lot of inflammation so we need to leave this tube in a little longer. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Alex lightly nodded.
“Excellent. Alex, are you in pain?”
She nodded once more.
“Okay, we can take care of that and make you comfortable. Alex, I can’t tell you how happy I am that you are awake and responding.” He turned to the group. “Tyson? Tyson Ayers?”
“That’s me.”
“Excellent. I’m Jason Reynolds, intensivist.” He offered Tyson a handshake. “Like I said, we’ll keep her on this breathing machine for the rest of today, possibly part of tomorrow and just evaluate. I don’t want to do anything too hasty. Now that I know where she stands neurologically we can assess and move forward. You’ve got a strong sister, kiddo.”
“I know I do, sir.”
As Constance and Dr. Reynolds left to the hall to speak further, Bishop and Tyson stood on either side of the bed. Bishop held her right hand as Tyson held her left.
“Bishop…dude, I love you man and I seriously mean that. Thank you so much for saving her. You have no idea…I couldn’t live without my sister. If you hadn’t gone in after her, she wouldn’t be here.”
Alex instantly looked to Bishop, their gaze strong and steady as her grip on his hand became even firmer.
“I was only doing what you told me to do, Ty…chasing what makes me smile.”