This week’s been hell. The fire at the hotel has been a fucking disaster. I have no idea when we’re going to be able to start refurbishing it, let alone when we might be able to think about reopening. The police are still looking into the fact it could be an inside job because of where it started and that the sprinkler system didn’t work. I’ve had multiple staff and guests in hospital. Thankfully nothing serious but it’s still not great. I’ve had meeting after meeting but things are going absolutely nowhere. And then, just to top all that off, I had that fight with Lilly and then haven’t been able to get in contact with her. I knew she had a friend down, but would it have been so much effort to text me back? I know I was out of line, trying to take control of her life. She’s independent and wants to make her own decisions. That’s one of the things I love about her. I’ve met so many women who are just after an easy ride and my money. It’s refreshing to spend time with someone who doesn’t care about all that.

The thought of going to the annual charity auction I attend with my parents was filling me with the usual lack of excitement. Don’t get me wrong, I totally support it, but it’s not my kind of evening. I spend every day of the week dressed up in a suit trying to be something I’m not. I don’t want to spend my Saturday night like it as well. The little time I do get away from work is precious. If it wasn’t for my mother insisting I be there, I’d just give my usual donations and be done with it, but I can’t say no to her—I’ve never been able to. Then, it struck me that I could take Lilly, and my feelings about the night changed.

“Lucas, I can’t afford a dress from here,” Lilly complains as I pull her into Harrods.

“Who says you’re buying it?”

“Lucas,” she warns and I know I’m about to get the speech again so I cut her off.

“I know you don’t want me spending my money on you, but you wouldn’t be going to this event if it wasn’t for me, and you are the only reason I’m looking forward to it. So please, just this once, let me spend my money. Trust me, it’ll be for my own benefit more than yours.”

She looks up and me and opens her mouth to argue but must see something on my face that changes her mind, because she falls back into step next to me.

“It’s a formal event, so you want something gown-like, I guess,” I say as we start walking through the ladies’ section. I look around to see if anything catches my eye but I’m seriously in over my head here. I’ve done a lot in my life but never once have I been ladies’ clothes shopping. I’m pretty sure it’s not something I’ll be rushing to do again any time soon, either.

I trail behind Lilly as she looks around but she doesn’t stop or show interest in anything. This is going to be harder than I thought.

“Don’t you like anything?” I ask when we come back around to where we started.

“They are all stunning, Lucas. But did you see the prices? I know I agreed to this but it’s crazy.”

“Lilly, enough about the price. I will pay whatever, I want you to look and feel amazing. It’s the first time ever I’m going to have a date, and I know I sound like a dickhead but I want you to be the best dressed woman there. I want everyone to look at you on my arm and think, wow that’s what he’s been waiting for.”

I see her chin drop open at my words and I swear her eyes water a little. Okay, so maybe that was a little much. But it’s the truth. I’m sure everyone at those fancy events thinks I’m gay because they are always filled with beautiful women, none of whom ever take my interest.

“Fine,” she mutters and begins walking off again.

This time I watch as she strokes some of the dresses as we walk past. She even pulls a few out slightly to look at the backs. But again, she doesn’t make any choice.

“Come on,” I say as I grab her hand. I saw the sign for a personal shopper on the other side of the floor. We’re going there.

“I’m sorry, Sir, we’re booked at the moment.” Lilly goes to walk away but I stand my ground. There’s always a way to get what you want.

Twenty minutes later and I’m sat on the plush sofa with a glass of champagne while a petite woman brings in dress after dress for Lilly to try on. Maybe this shopping thing isn’t so bad after all. I even manage to bang out a few emails while I’m sat here.

“I’m so sorry, Lucas. Wearing these sorts of dresses is unusual for me. I have no idea what I want or what suits me,” she says after the fifth dress gets escorted away.

“We’ve got all day,” I reply, but hope we aren’t just going to be doing this.

Another two dresses get refused before the woman returns with a black dress draped over her arm.

“Isn’t that a little plain?” I ask as she gets closer. There are no ruffles, flowers or diamonds as far as I can see, which is unlike everything else that has been whisked passed me so far.

“No, Sir. Sometimes, simple is the best.” And then she’s gone again behind the door where Lilly is stood. Probably only in her underwear. The thought has my dick twitching. Last night wasn’t enough. After weeks of being away from her, my body is now craving her like a drug. My fingers dig into the velvet fabric of the sofa in an attempt to stay where I am and not join Lilly in that little room behind the door. I’ve never had sex in a shop before.

My mind flashes back to last night when Lilly walked out of our hotel en suite in the same little black dress that she wore the night I took her to dinner. It had the exact same effect one me as it did that first night.

It was even more incredible than the first time. I didn’t think that was possible. Her body is unbelievable; it’s like it was designed for me in every way and I can’t get enough.

“Holy shit,” I exclaim when she appears in front of me. She’s standing looking very unsure of herself in the black dress. It’s perfect, just like woman said it would be. It hugs her in all the right places and the V at the front shows off the swell of her breasts perfectly.

“Is it okay?” she asks nervously.

“It’s fucking amazing. You look…wow. Incredible.” A small smile starts to tug at the corners of her lips at my compliment.

“We’ll take it,” I say to the assistant as she comes to stand behind Lilly. I’m not thrilled by the smug I told you so look on her face as she glances at me.

“Okay, Sir. Are you going to need accessories? Shoes, jewellery a bag?”

“Yes, everything please.”

The time it takes for her to pick everything out and come back is torturous as Lilly perches herself on the sofa next to me. It gives me a look at the back, which has a long line of diamond buttons running from the base of her neck to the top of her arse. The desire to undo each one and reveal what is beneath is seriously high. I almost give into temptation when the assistant reappears with a pile of boxes in her hands.

I watch as Lilly tries on shoes and picks the bag she wants. Thankfully, it’s a much faster process than finding the dress. Before long, the assistant disappears with the dress draped over her arm again and Lilly’s chosen accessories, saying she’ll get everything boxed up ready for payment. The second she’s out of sight, I make my move.

I open the changing room door quietly and step up to Lilly. A little shriek comes from her but it’s silenced when I put my hand over her mouth. I look over her shoulder and into the full-length mirror in front of us. Perfect.

Lilly is exactly as I was hoping—just in her underwear.

“You’re going to have to be silent,” I whisper in her ear before undoing my fly and pulling out my already hard cock. “This is what you do to me, Lilly. Now, can you be quiet?”

She bites down on her bottom lip and nods once. It’s all the approval I need. I bend her forward at the waist and pull her knickers to the side before lining up.

“Put your hands on the mirror. This is going to be fast.”

The glow of Lilly’s cheeks when we leave the changing room leaves nothing to the imagination about what just went on in that little room. She was quiet for the most part, but not quiet enough for the couple of middle aged women also in the personal shopper changing rooms not to know what was going on.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” Lilly says in shock as we leave the shop with her purchases in tow. “I’m sure we could have been arrested or something for doing that.”

“It’s fine. I’m sure the other women loved it.”

“Lucas,” she squeals with a slap to my shoulder. “What are we doing tonight?”

“I thought we could have the dinner we missed last night. Do you want to get a new dress for the occasion? I may even allow you to buy it,” I say, but it pains me to do so. I’ve never had anyone but myself to spend my money on before but I’m finding that I quite like doing so.

“Can I choose what we do tonight?” she asks, taking me by surprise.

“Don’t you want to go for a meal?”

“I have something better in mind,” she says with a cheeky smile.

I take us straight back to our hotel room so we can drop the stuff off. I am in love with the dress; it’s stunning, but the price is obscene for something I may only wear once in my life.

I can’t believe I allowed Lucas to do what he did in the changing room. My face still feels hot with embarrassment. But the second I saw him in the mirror behind me, I knew there was no way I’d say no. He had that dark look in his eyes again. The one that basically means I’ll do whatever he says. It was quick, but it was by no means any less enjoyable that the other times we’ve been together.

It’s late afternoon when we walk back out through the entrance to the hotel. I glance over at Lucas. I can see that he’s trying to be himself but for some reason he won’t allow himself to fully let go. I guess it’s because we are staying in one of his hotels and he feels like he needs to keep up his boss persona.

He’s wearing a pair of dark jeans and a jumper. It’s a little more casual than his suit, but not a lot.

“What’s the plan then, beautiful?”

I wanted to do things my way. I wasn’t up for fancy restaurants and even fancier food.

“Come on,” I say as I wave down a taxi and jump in.

“Please can you take us to Hyde Park? But we need to stop at a supermarket on the way,” I instruct the driver.

The taxi lurches forward and I can feel Lucas’ eyes on me.

“Lucas,” I say, not really knowing how to put into words what I want to say without offending him. “I know that the whole suit thing is a lie; that isn’t who you are. I can see that now. The designer labels, expensive restaurants…I think you’re almost as uncomfortable with that as I am. So we’re going to do things my way.”

Lucas doesn’t agree with me, but he doesn’t argue either. We both know I’m right, and I will get him to open up eventually.

* * *

“Here?” I ask as I look back at Lucas who is loaded down with all the bags. I know he’s trying to be a gentleman, but I have no problems helping.

“Sure.” He still looks a little unsure about this, but I couldn’t think of a better way to spend a sunny spring evening.

I pull out the picnic blanket that I luckily found in the BBQ isle of the supermarket and lay it out in the sun. I sit myself down and start rummaging through the bags for everything else I bought.

In only a few minutes, I have our picnic laid out in front of us. Lucas, however, is still stood with his hands in his pockets, looking down at me with complete confusion written all over his face.

“You swerved a posh meal in a restaurant for a picnic in Hyde Park?” he asks, like it’s the most insane thing he’s ever heard.

“Yeah. Is that not okay?” I ask, now a little concerned that I’ve done the wrong thing.

“No, I think it’s perfect,” he says as a wide smile creeps across his face.

My heart jumps into my throat, seeing his happiness. He’s serious so much of the time that it’s a real pleasure to see that smile.

He lowers himself down next to me but makes no attempt to reach for the food. We haven’t eaten since breakfast so he must be starving, I know I am. Instead, his hand wraps around my neck and he pulls me to him. He kisses me gently to start with bit it soon begins to turn into something that shouldn’t happen in a public place.

“Calm down,” I say with a laugh when I pull back from him. “We’re in a public park. We could definitely get arrested for doing that kind of stuff here,” I say.

He huffs in disappointment as he looks down at his lap. I can see his issue; there’s not really any hiding that he’s hard but the look on his face makes me laugh.

“I’m sure you can wait a few hours. Come on, let’s eat.”

We’ve almost polished everything off when Lucas’ phone rings. He stretches out his legs so he can pull it from his pocket. I’m expecting him to silence it like he has most of the calls he’s gotten today, but instead, he looks at me as if for permission to answer it.

“Of course, go ahead,” I say, feeling a little weird that he felt like he had to ask.

“I wouldn’t usually but it’s Joe,” he responds before answering.

The name rings a bell but it only takes a second of listening to Lucas’ friendly banter into the phone to remember that it’s his friend who also ended up with food poisoning last weekend. Wow, was that only a week ago?

“I’m in London with Lilly,” he says, like Joe knows all about who I am. It piques my interest so I eavesdrop with a little more enthusiasm than I did when they were talking about work stuff. “Soon,” he says after Joe clearly asks a question. “Fine, yes. Okay, Friday night. Yes. Tell her she’s a demanding pain in the arse,” he finishes with a laugh. “Okay, yeah. Bye.”

“What was that about?”

“They want to meet you. We’re going out on Friday night—is that okay?”

“As long as it’s not to the same place you went last time,” I say with amusement because I can see the worry etched in Lucas’ face. “Why do you look so worried?”

“It’s…” he starts, but pauses as he finds the right words. “I have very few people in my life, Lilly…”

“And you introducing me to them and allowing me into your circle is hard for you?” I ask, finishing his sentence for him.

“Yeah, something like that. How did you know?

“Your mum said something that day on the phone.”

“Of course she bloody did. I still need to talk to her about that little stunt she pulled.”

“Don’t be mad at her, Luc. She’s only trying to help.”

“I guess,” he mutters before shoving a mini pork pie in his mouth.

It’s my phone’s turn to start ringing then. I grab it, see that it’s Dec and immediately swipe and put the phone to my ear. Lucas will have to get used to Dec if he plans on sticking around. We kind of come as a package deal.

“Hey, how’s it going?”

“Good. How’re things your end?”

“Yeah, not bad.” I look up as Lucas mouths the words ‘not bad’ at me and raises an eyebrow. “Okay, better than that. I’m actually sat in Hyde Park having a picnic as we speak.”

“Sweet. Are you still with Nicole?”

“No, she went back yesterday. I’m actually with a guy.”

There’s a pause on the other end as the information settles in. “A guy? Like, what kind of guy?”

“A non-psycho one, I hope,” I reply, thinking of the conversation we had when Lucas and I had our first date.

“Hang on, you’re with the same guy, aren’t you? I thought you said it didn’t work out?”

“It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time.”

“I haven’t. Can I ring you when I get back? I’ll explain everything.”

“Fine,” he mutters. I’m sure he’s probably pouting.

“Talk soon, okay? Love you.”

“Okay, bye.”

I put the phone down and smile to myself.

“Who was that?”

I look up to see a curious look on Lucas’ face. I guess I should have told him about Dec before.

“That was Declan. My twin brother.”

“You’re a twin,” he says, repeating my words.

“Yep.”

“I’m guessing you’re close then?”

“Yes. Although he lives in Devon. He decided to go uni in Exeter. He’s a big surfer. He’s actually started his own business down there now. He’s a bit of a wannabe Alan Sugar.

“Do you miss him?”

“Every day. We talk as much as we can but it’s not the same.”

“Have you considered moving down with him? I’m presuming that now he’s started a business he wouldn’t come back?”

“Yeah, I’ve considered it. I thought about seeing if there were any design jobs down there as well as here when I start applying.

“I’ve never been to Devon. Always thought about opening a hotel down that way at some point. We should go.”

His sudden enthusiasm for me meeting his friends and us going away and meeting Dec confuses me slightly. It was just over a week ago that he was avoiding me and now he’s done a complete one-eighty and is planning time away and meeting family.

“What are we doing here, Luc? I go from not seeing you for weeks on end to suddenly planning to meet each other’s friends and family. I feel like I’ve got a bit of whiplash.”

“I really like you, Lilly. More than I should. And you are so much more than I deserve. I disappeared because I wanted you and you turned me away. I thought it was the right thing to do but it turns out I was wrong. And I don’t admit that often. I can’t stay away from you.”

“Why don’t you deserve me?”

“I’m not a good person, Lilly.”

“Can I be the judge of that, please?” I ask.

“I’m serious. I’ve done stuff that I’m not proud of. I’ve lived a life I’m not proud of.”

“Will you tell me about it?”

“Maybe. I’ll want something in return, though.” And there it is. A secret for a secret. “When you’re ready,” he adds, obviously seeing the panic in my face.

I swallow down my fear of having to explain. What’s the worse that can happen?

“Ask away,” I whisper.

I lie back on the blanket and wait for his question. When it comes though, it’s not what I was expecting.

“That first night I came to your flat, I got the impression Taylor was gay—”

“Oh, you mean from the amount of staring he was doing?” I ask with a laugh.

“Yeah, pretty much. But when we got back, there was a half-naked woman in your kitchen.”

“Ultimately, yes, Taylor’s gay. He openly admits that in the end he wants to settle down with a guy, but until he finds that guy he seems quite okay with sticking it to anyone who’s willing.”

“Okay then. I’m not judging, I was just a little confused.”

“Honestly, he confuses me as well. He’s great, I love him dearly, but he’s changed recently. We’re not as close as we once were. I think he met someone a while ago that he really fell for and I can only presume he was knocked back. I worry about what he’s doing but it’s not for me to point out what I think are mistakes.”

“Fair point. I can say from experience that someone telling you you’re doing something wrong won’t help you. You’ve got to come to your own realisation. It will happen eventually.”

“Go on,” I prompt, hoping for a little more of an insight.

“I don’t want to get into the dark stuff today, Lilly. It’ll ruin our time here. Tell me about your family.”

“Okay. Well, my mum and dad are amazing. They live in Oxford in the house we all grew up in. They met at Mum’s coffee shop and fell in love over a slice of millionaire’s shortbread and a cappuccino.” Lucas smiles at the story. I so badly want what they have. Their love has only got stronger as the years have gone on; it’s incredible. “Emma and…” I pause, thinking about her twin. “Emma’s my older sister. She’s also a twin but Hannah died in car accident a couple of years ago.”

“I’m so sorry,” Lucas says quietly.

“Emma’s now married to Ruben. It was his sister, Connie, who had a baby the day you found me in your hotel room. She’s engaged to Ruben’s best friend.” I look at him for a second to make sure he’s keeping up. “Then there’s Molly and Ryan. Molly was Hannah’s best friend but she’s more like an adopted sister because her parents were…uh…useless. Ryan was Hannah’s boyfriend but they have since got together and have a little girl called Lois.”

“Wow, okay. What about the friend you saw this week?”

“We’ve been friends since playschool but Nicole moved away when we were teenagers. We’ve always stayed in contact though. Her life’s so hard at the moment with her mum, but she was given some respite care last week so she was able to relax a little.”

“That must be hard,” Lucas says. He doesn’t say anything else and looks a little lost in thought.

“So what about your family? I mean, I’ve kind of met your parents, but any siblings or adopted family like I have?” His eyes snap to mine at my final comment and I feel like I might have said something wrong, although I’ve no idea what it could be.

“I have a brother,” he states.

“Oh, does he work for the hotels as well? I don’t think I’ve ever come across him.”

“No, I haven’t seen him since I was a child.”

“Okay?”

“Christopher and Elaine adopted me, Lilly.”

I suck in a breath. “Oh, I had no idea.”

“I like it that way. I don’t need anyone questioning where I came from.”

“And where was that?”

“Hell.”

I watch as the shutters come down. Even mentioning it must take him back to a dark place. Lucas falls onto his back and looks up to the blue sky above. He doesn’t make a noise; he just stares. I watch him for a few minutes but soon realise he probably needs a reminder that he is no longer in hell, and is here with me. I lean over and gently place my lips against his. He doesn’t move for the longest time but eventually I feel his lips part and his tongue run across my bottom lip.

When I pull back he’s looking directly into my eyes and thankfully he doesn’t look as closed off as he previously did.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

“Nothing to be sorry for, Lucas. We’ve both got demons that haunt us. Maybe it’ll become a little easier to bear once we share.”

“Maybe,” he says but it doesn’t sound like he agrees. Time will tell I guess.

“Shall we head back?” I ask when I realise the sun is starting to set behind the trees that hide us from the hustle and bustle of the city behind us.

“Sure.”

Silently, we gather up all our things and walk hand in hand away from our little patch of grass. I fear that Lucas is still lost in his memories and I don’t want him to spend the rest of the night that way.

“We could go somewhere,” I offer.

“Oh yeah, like where?”

“I don’t know. Just walk around, take it all in.”

“Okay.”

We walk around central London for hours. We walk up Oxford Street and take in all the shoppers hopping from one store to the next. We get a coffee and sit in Leicester Square as people set up barriers for what looks like a film premier tonight. Then, we head toward Covent Garden. We watch all the different kinds of street entertainment before finding a bar to get a drink in.

As the minutes tick by, I see that Lucas is beginning return to his usual self, and I’m more than grateful.

Some of his memories must have been lingering in the background though, because when we get back to our hotel room he drops the bags he’s been carrying on the floor before disappearing into the bathroom.

I listen as the water starts running. I argue with myself about what to do. Do I stay here and wait for him to reappear, or do I go and join him?

In the end, I decide to strip out of my clothes and head for the shower. My breath catches in my throat when I get there. He’s stood with his head bent forward, the water cascading down his back.

The opening of the shower door catches his attention and he looks up at me, but it’s not with the kind of heat in his eyes that I’m used to. I don’t think he even notices that I’m naked.

I step inside and pull the door shut behind me. I stand right up against him and place my lips to his. Just like earlier, it takes a few seconds but he soon responds and within a minute he has me backed up against the tiles with my legs wrapped around his waist.

By the time he’s finished, the shadows have totally lifted from his eyes and I have my Lucas back. I hate the idea of him hurting so much when he thinks about the past, but we will have to talk about it at some point.