The apartment over the den wasn’t my permanent residence.
In fact, I hated the cramped space and spent as little time here as possible.
Until, I found Mercy. She alone gave me reason to stick around.
I debated packing up and heading home a hundred times. Yet I hadn’t budged.
It’s been three days since I walked out on Mercy and it felt like an eternity. It also felt like I had made the biggest mistake of my life. To pass the time I’ve been drinking, watching her videos and wondering what I could have done differently. But no matter which angle I took, I always came back to; How was I wrong for wanting her safe? What kind of asshole wants his woman in harm’s way? For a fucking paycheck, no less… I had enough money for ten Mercys.
Refilling my glass, Roger takes my left and asks, “If Mercy said to be with her, you’d have to walk away from the den, would you do it?”
“She’d ask me this because?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” he sighs in annoyance. “Because it’s pleasure with a snap of the fingers.”
“I have no desire to fuck the employees. Jesus Christ, Roger, I’m never even here.”
“Does she know that?”
“We’ve touched on it, yes.”
“Yet she doesn’t throw what goes on here in your face. Most women would, Dion. And I don’t blame them. We exist inside the walls of temptation, we profit from sex, secrets, and alcohol. My ex couldn’t handle it and you saw how that ended. She supports what you do without complaint. Why can’t you support her?”
“I don’t want her to get hurt, Roger.”
“I watched the videos,” he informs me. “If I look beyond what she means to you, you would see a capable woman who does not take unnecessary risks.”
“She carries an arsenal on her tiny female body! Fuck, she’s Sherambo!”
“You lost me.”
“She-Rambo,” I repeat. “I made it one word, Christ. Never mind.”
“Back to her arsenal. Has she ever used it?”
“Roger…”
“Has she? Answer me, Dion. Has Mercy ever seriously harmed anyone?”
“Not to my knowledge, no.”
“No,” he says gently. “She hasn’t. I can’t fault the woman for protecting herself, Dion. No more than I can fault you for how you feel. Hell, in this fucked up world, every woman should be armed regardless. This is one of those instances where I tell you, you can’t have your way and have Mercy too. Her career comes with danger just as her previous one did. For Mercy who lives life fearlessly, she cannot understand your concern for her safety. I assume you didn’t explain them to her. I also assume this ridiculous caveman behavior means you love her.”
“Of course, I love her. I wouldn’t be losing my fucking mind right now if I didn’t.”
“If you were away and someone broke into your home, wouldn’t you want her to have the tools necessary to defend herself? Wouldn’t you want her to have the knowledge to use them?”
“Now you’re just showing off,” I mutter hating the thought of her in any kind of danger.
“My biggest fear is something happening to Diane and not being there to protect her. My wife relies on me for protection. As if loving someone wasn’t complicated enough, I worry about her every time we’re apart.”
“Roger…”
“Mercy is not like my wife, Dion.”
“You don’t think I should worry?”
“I didn’t say that,” he argues. “What I’m saying is, you don’t have to worry as much.”
“She hasn’t called or text.”
“Nor should she. You walked away, she didn’t.”
“She’s afraid of commitment.”
“She’s smart,” he laughs. “With the way you keep shoving it down her throat, I’m afraid for her.”
“Never been in love before, Roger so if you could cease with the fucking commentary, I’d appreciate it.”
“Guess which video is my favorite?”
“Fuck,” I groan because here it comes.
“When she tackles the redhead, shoves the papers in her mouth and says you’ve been served, bitch.”
I had to admit, when I saw her full body tackle that woman, it got me hard. The woman slapped Mercy, whacked her with her bag, spit on her and called her every name in the book. And she had stood there taking it until, the woman started to run. God, she was like a little wolf on a hunt and I loved that about her as much as I feared it.
Because I could be honest with Roger, I admit, “Mine was when the cheating husband sent his dog after her and she fed it bacon.”
“Mercy inspires loyalty,” Roger chuckles. “Apparently, even in canines.”
“That dog turned on him quick, didn’t he?” I muse. The asshole had intended to let his dog attack a small woman for doing her job. But Mercy never even flinched. She got down on her knees, extended her palms and hand fed the dog. Then she gave him belly rubs and ear scratches. When the owner saw this and advanced on her, the dog attacked him with a ferocity that was terrifying. Mercy called the dog back, waited with it until animal rescue came and made them promise the dog would be placed in a good home.
Mercy was a fixer.
And I was a fucking idiot.
“I noticed something else,” he says snapping me from my thoughts. “I’m no expert, but I’m certain the older videos were shot from a distance. Dion, I don’t think Mercy knew the kid was there. Because her videos since the kid came on the scene are much more tame. As if she goes out of her way to avoid conflict. She’s protective of him and I think you should consider that.”
Firing up my computer, I started from past to present and I quickly realized Roger was right.
It was obvious Pita used the zoom on the recently posted videos which dated back to almost two years ago. Skimming the rest, I realized Mercy only allowed him to come with her when she knew he’d be…safe.
I also realized Pita knew of Mercy long before she knew of him.