I was struggling to open my eyes when I felt a hand on my boob.
Focusing on the man half on top of me, I wondered if he knew how young he looked when he was at rest.
A lot of people look ridiculous when they sleep and I was one of them. Because when I crashed, I crashed hard.
Mouth open, limbs everywhere, covers on the floor, pillows flung.
Not Dion.
He was just beautiful.
Feeling safe and warm but also still out of it, I closed my eyes and drifted off.
Rolling over, I hit a wall by the name of Dion Fox.
Stroking my cheek, he takes his time memorizing my face and I do the same.
It was moments like this that I dared to dream of a future with him in it.
To have this every morning for the rest of my life…
God, if only I wasn’t so fucked up.
While we both remained silent, giving the other soft touches, I let my head and heart wander down the path of what ifs and happy endings. Because I had a score to settle before I could have mine. But at the rate I was going, it would take years to accomplish and I didn’t see him waiting for me. And it wasn’t fair that he ever got anything less than all of me.
So, when he brushes my hair away from my eyes, I whisper, “You’re beautiful.”
“Why do you deny me, Mercy? Why do you deny us? You’re denying what we could have together. At least, tell me why.”
“I can solve any mystery except…”
“Except?”
“Why I’m forgettable.”
“Mercy…”
“That’s why.”
“It’s not about the den and what happens there?”
“As long as the world turns, a man can find a willing woman if he wants one. Especially a man that rocks a suit like you do. Owning a business that caters to it only benefits the men who want it. If you weren’t desensitized to it, you wouldn’t bother chasing me. Not when it’s in your face. I know for you, it’s business, Dion. It’s not about that, never was or will be.”
“Have you considered that I want to chase you? That I want the chance to earn you, know you? I don’t want a woman because she’s available, Mercy. I waited all these years for the woman who makes me better. Tell me you know that.”
“It’s not possible,” I whisper in despair.
“What isn’t possible?”
“You’re already perfect, so you can’t get better than you already are.”
Rolling me to my back, he gets in my face and says, “You keep trying to push me away but you need to know, you suck at it.”
“Wait –”
“You’re good, I’ll give you that, but I see your face go soft when you look me. I feel your need when you touch me. I hear your heart in every single word when you speak to me. I’m up for the chase and that scares you because you want to get caught. You want to submit. But trust me when I tell you, I’ve got your scent inside of me now and no matter how far you run, I’ll find you.”
“Oh my God, you’re poetically insane!”
“And you,” he says pinning me down. “Just waved the red flag calling the bull out of the pen.”
“Dion…”
“Making you mine,” he warns. “In all ways, Mercy.”
Remember when I said everyone has something to hide? Well, that includes me too.
And if the two of us stand even the smallest chance of making this work, he needs to know, “I’m married.”
I watch his jaw tick, eyes blink twice and his grip tightens when he grates out, “Happily?”
“No,” I snort at the thought.
“You live alone, you wear no man’s ring. Why aren’t you divorced?”
“I’ve been trying, believe me, but he’s cagey. You have no idea how much it pains me to admit that…”
“I take it, he’s opposed.”
“Little bit,” I whisper. “Yeah.”
“Do you love him?”
“No.”
“Does he love you?”
“That’s irrelevant.”
“I can’t fully make you mine if you’re married, Mercy.”
“I know,” I try and look away but he wasn’t having it.
“Do you want to be mine?”
Staring into his eyes I confess, “More than anything, but –”
“What’s his name?”
“Nick. Well, Nicholas legally.”
“Does he have a last name?”
“Kennedy. He’s into some dirty shit which is why I can’t find him. He’s managed to stay of my radar because the prick knows all my tricks.”
When he moved to a sitting position and let out a hard sigh, I sat up and asked, “What was that for?”
“I know where he is.”
“Seriously?” I squeak. “How? I’ve been searching for over two years!”
“He’s a member of the den.”
I gave myself a second to chew on that before asking, “For how long?”
“He joined the year I took over.”
“So how long ago was that?”
“Five years.”
“I see.”
That fucker stole from me, lied to me and cheated on me to boot. Boy, this just keeps getting better and better.
“Get your papers together,” he says pulling me toward him. “I’ll set up a meeting.”
“You will?”
“I do this, you’ll be mine, right? Just mine?”
“Yes,” I rush out. “Just yours.”
As soon as I drop two hundred and thirty pounds of dead weight…
“Then I’ll set up the meeting.”
Cupping his face in my hands, I get up on my knees kissing him soundly on the mouth. “Thank you.”
“We’re not all like him,” he says gently.
“I don’t care about anyone else,” I promise him. “Just you. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything but it’s embarrassing and until I fixed it…”
“I did it,” he says tackling me to the bed, reigning kisses all over my skin.
“Did what?”
“Found the reason you were holding back from me and fucking destroyed it.” Shit, he kinda did do that.
“Let me guess, you’re going to be smug about it?”
His cocky grin said it all.
And in the interest of being honest, I owed Dion the whole story.