He moaned as Livingston’s hands smoothed more of the burn cream over his skin. The tenderness only lasted a few days, but he hadn’t told Livingston that. He didn’t even know if the man would care that he felt all better.

The first night they were back in the cabin and Livingston had rubbed the medicinal salve into his skin, the big man had been gentle. Even apologized every time he hissed at the pain. He’d had a few blisters from the water. They’d come to find out Nigel had boiled the water on the stove to fill most of the tub.

“My knight in shining armor.”

He let his gaze move over Livingston’s nude body. He loved the contrast of the hairiness of Livingston’s left side and the sparser hair on his right. He felt his mouth pull into a grin as he stroked his palm over Livingston’s chest from left to right. He was going to miss this.

Livingston rolled his eyes. “It’s pretty dented and rusty if I’m not mistaken.”

They hadn’t mentioned the future, and in his gut, he knew the big man was going to send him home. It hurt, but he’d do what Livingston said. When Livingston was in Daddy-mode, the man couldn’t be swayed. All he could hope for was that Livingston would miss him enough to come for him.

He raised his hand to stroke the big man’s scarred cheek. Livingston didn’t flinch anymore and seemed to lean into his touch. Probably not to anyone else but him, Livingston was gorgeous. Everything he’d ever wanted and was too afraid to find.

“Fielding,” Livingston whispered his name and stretched out beside him.

“Don’t say it.”

“We have to talk about it.”

Camden called the day after his rescue to inform them that Nigel had used one of the sheets from a cot to hang himself. Nigel hadn’t succeeded in killing himself, but they’d had to transfer him to the psych ward of the local hospital. They assumed he was trying to go for an insanity defense.

“I don’t want to…it’s over. Nothing happened.”

“I’ve let you get away with not talking about it, but that time has ended.”

“He grabbed me, took me to that cabin, tried to boil me in the tub to wash you off me, said I needed to get back to the gym because my muffin top wasn’t attractive.”

“It’s official…he’s fucking insane.”

He giggled as Livingston bit at the padding in question as the big man’s beard tickled him and he combed his fingers through Livingston’s dark hair.

“I go home tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. They say life is about timing, right? Maybe it’s just not—”

“That’s not what you believe so don’t lie to me.”

“I want you to keep me. I want to empty out that gaudy apartment my mother decorated for me. I want to live here.” Livingston turned his head to rest it on his stomach. “With you. Go to college. I want to be yours, Daddy.”

“Being tied to me and all my hang-ups would just make you miserable. I can’t do that to you, you’re still young, and I was your first.”

“Don’t say that. I wanted you to be my first. I’ll never regret that.”

He hated pretending he was feeling mature about this. He wanted to beg Livingston to keep him. The almost two months he’d stayed with Livingston he’d realized that the life he’d had back in California wasn’t the one he wanted.

“Fuck me one more time, Daddy, please.”

“I don’t think—”

“Don’t think, please, just one more time and I’ll be good when it’s time for me to leave.”

“I won’t fuck you tonight, boy.”

He closed his eyes as they started to burn with unshed tears, but then Livingston was on top of him. Livingston’s weight was bearing him down into the mattress. He parted his thighs and wrapped his legs around the big man.

Gentle kisses were placed on his face much like the ones when Livingston took him the first time.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, and you let me touch you. Did you know you were my first kiss?”

His quickly opened his eyes. “What?”

“The few kisses I’d had, they were drunk, and they still pulled away as soon as they felt my scars. The first time I saw you, I wanted to deny it, but I couldn’t look away from you. I wanted your agent or parents to piss off Linus so that he’d tell them to fuck off.”

“But you hated me on sight.”

“No, little man, I didn’t hate you, I wanted you, and I knew you’d find me disgusting and laugh at the freak lusting after someone so out of his league.”

“I watched you get ready for bed that night. I didn’t care about these.” He lovingly stroked the uneven cheek, through his beard to the corner of Livingston’s mouth. “I thought you were handsome and dangerous. You know how some of us like those bad boys.”

“Is that what it was, nothing about you wanting your Daddy to take care of you?”

“Daddy, if you’re not going to fuck me, what are you doing to do with me?”

“I’m going to love on my boy all night.”

“Yes, Daddy.”

The loving was slow and gentle, the loving Livingston promised him. Kisses and featherlight strokes, Livingston sucking him until he nearly lost it only for the big man to pull back. It was frustrating and perfect. When Livingston’s slick fingers readied him, he arched and panted, begged for Livingston to hurry, but the man chuckled and kept up the lazy pace.

He scratched at Livingston’s back, tried to tighten his legs to get Livingston with the program. Although, he knew Livingston was in charge—his show.

He gasped at the first nudge of Livingston’s cock against his hole, and he arched upward as Livingston filled him. Livingston only paused long enough for him to get used to the pressure. Then he started to move. It was gentle and tender, whispered words of praise and loving touches. They came together in a slow dance, a perfect rhythm, until it wasn’t enough.

Livingston pace picked up, but it still wasn’t rough. It was a goodbye, and it was bittersweet. Livingston’s arms slipped under him, and the big man rested his forehead on his. Livingston hairy stomach stroked his cock with each thrust until he couldn’t take anymore. Heat spread between them and Livingston pumped into him faster until Livingston filled him.

“Fuck, I love you so much.”

He gasped as he felt hot tears falling on his face as Livingston kissed him repeatedly. He hugged the man’s big body to him as the man cried. He knew it was the last thing Livingston was going to say to him.

“It’s okay. We’re just fine.”

“Say it, just one more time.”

“I love you, please, keep me.”

“I can’t. I just want what’s best for you, and I’m not it.”

He didn’t want to argue on their last night together. Livingston always asked him to trust him to know what was best. He’d do that no matter how much it hurt. Livingston started moving inside him again. He wrapped his hands around the sides of Livingston’s head and lifted until the man looked at him.

He focused on the scars. All he had to give Livingston was his love, and he’d make sure the man knew it how much he did before he left.