Selena

 

I was part of a writing group. It was something we'd started up ages ago. We were a handful of women who critiqued each other's writing and we set deadlines that we had to stick to. It was easier keeping to a writing schedule when we had someone to answer to. Otherwise, we would sit and think about our novel and rewrite and daydream about the pages we'd already written without ever finishing the book. When we had to show each other what progress we'd made, it actually pushed us to make any progress at all.

 

We were all busy. At least, they were all busy. They all had corporate type jobs. We had a lawyer, a schoolteacher, an office manager, a Personal Assistant, and the owner of a set of chain stores downtown. I was the only one with a job that didn't really count as a job and more time to write than the others.

 

We were meeting at eight and I was almost late. I rang Joanne's doorbell, the last to arrive. When she opened the door she was still dressed in a two-piece suit, looking fresh and ready to take on the world even though the day had been long and hot. I wore jeans and sneakers and a tank top with a light jacket over it.

 

Talk about contrast.

 

"I'm glad you could make it," she said and gave me a hug. Her auburn hair was set in a French roll and sprayed into submission. It wasn't going anywhere but she still touched it lightly at the back to make sure stray hairs hadn't escaped.

 

"Everyone else is already here."

 

Of course, they were. I walked into Joanne's house. The place was neat and smelled like cleaning products. She had a full-time maid because she was too busy with her job running all those chain stores. When I walked into the living room, the rest of them were there, too. Lela, the lawyer, looked pristine in a dark suit with a crisp white blouse and earrings that matched. She had her manuscript on her lap and looked at me expectantly. They all looked like they were ready to take over the world. April the PA with frizzy brown hair, Pam the teacher with a dull braid down her back, Brandy the office manager with the boy-cut hair that suited the sharp point of her chin. They all looked like they could do another day at the office. I was the only one who felt like I looked worn out. I was the only one looking like I needed to go to bed.

 

The only thing I had in common with these girls was the fact that I wrote, too. Otherwise, they were in the fast lane and I was still getting my act together. They were fast-paced ladies and I was an artist. Sometimes I told Joanne I thought I needed to quit the group because I just didn't fit in. She always argued with me that I was a writer and they were all writers and there was no difference. That it didn't matter.

 

Joanne was one to talk. She was the only one of us who had actually published a book. It was a Fantasy under a pen name called Tangerine Sky and she made an all right amount in royalties. She was the only one of us who could really call herself a writer. I had the feeling it was only because of her that everyone else put up with me, too.

 

"Evening, ladies," I said and sat down. They all pulled out their manuscripts. I swallowed. I didn't have any new pages to show.

 

We started with April reading what she'd written. Her writing was fast-paced. Her action scenes were stunning, her emotional ones were left wanting. We all said as much in the nicest way possible. Her story progression was jerky but at least there was a progression in the first place.

 

Joanne was next and her writing as spectacular, as always. It was another fantasy, a world with druids and elves and a lost love. She was publish-worthy - again - but she rolled her eyes when we all said it.

 

"The point of this group is positive criticism, ladies. Not just...positive."

 

We all laughed. What was there to say about Joanne's work?

 

We moved on. Lela had written a sex scene that had made us all uncomfortable hearing it out loud. When she looked up we were all shifting in our seats and not making eye contact.

 

"It's what sells at the moment," she defended.

 

"We know. It's just not exactly appropriate, is it?" Joanne wasn't scared to speak her mind.

 

Lela shrugged. "It's what I wrote. You wanted to know, didn't you?"

 

"Is Sheldon not satisfying you anymore?"

 

We all laughed and Lela shot Pam a dirty look.

 

"Let's move on." Joanne was quiet and in control. She looked at me. I swallowed and looked down at the manuscript I'd printed out to bring here.

 

"I don't have any new pages."

 

They all looked at me with faces that were obviously trying to hide the disappointment. They all had nine to five jobs that took all their time and they still managed to get pages done. I worked in a library a couple of times a week and I didn't have anything at all.

 

"I was thinking of editing the love interest, though." I looked them each in the eye. "I met someone really interesting tonight who I thought might work as a substitute for the guy I'd been using until now."

 

"Was he hot?" coming from Lela.

 

I smiled and nodded. "He's such an asshole, though."

 

"Those are the most interesting characters, though," Pam said. "What happened?"

 

I breathed in and went back in my mind's eye. The memory was confused with where I'd been when I'd been working on my climax scene. The cold metallic smell in the air, the body lockers that were all full - none of that had been real. But Logan Frost had been real when he'd walked in and that had been a very intense contrast to the cold I was experiencing my writing. He wasn't just devilishly good looking; he also oozed warmth and charm like you read about.

 

"He was a badass biker complete with leather and tattoos and that look where you get the feeling he's undressing you with his eyes." I shivered at the thought and hoped the ladies didn't notice.

 

"What did he do that made him an asshole?" Joanne was leaning forward in her chair, everyone else's stories forgotten.

 

"He had fines for bringing DVDs in late and he got Alicia to reverse them by turning on the charm. She practically drooled all over him. I swear if he snapped his fingers she would have orgasmed for him on the spot."

 

They giggled.

 

"I think he sounds like a great substitute for your boring lawyer type." This from Lela, who had been offended that I'd made my love interest a lawyer and hadn't made him a demigod, too.

 

"This guy will cause a lot of problems for my main character, though. She's married, remember? And he's really not the type to respect something like that. He thinks he's god's gift to mankind and I think most women are on board with that summary."

 

"Just not you."

 

I couldn't tell if April thought it a disappointment or not. If anyone had a poker face it was her.

 

I shrugged. "I don't think it's attractive throwing yourself at a man."

 

The girls all nodded.

 

"Are you going to see him again?" Joanne's question was careful but I knew what she was getting at. This was not about the character but the real life man.

 

"He is coming to the library just after opening time tomorrow to pick up the wallet he forgot there tonight when he was getting all twisted up in Alicia's panties."

 

"So you'll be able to study him then to base your character on," Lela smiled. "Any sex scenes in your book?"

 

I shook my head and laughed, trying not to show the blush that had my cheeks glowing bright red. "I'm not going to sleep with him for the sake of writing the hottest sex scene."

 

Lela shrugged. "Hey, nothing wrong with research, right?"

 

April nudged her before looking at her watch.

 

"Ladies, I need to go. I have a conference call with someone in Paris."

 

We hadn't done everyone's manuscripts yet.

 

"How about we meet Saturday night at eight? Does that work for everyone?" Joanne looked around the circle and when everyone nodded she clapped her hands on her thighs. "Right, then, ladies. Thank you for coming."

 

They girls all got up and dispersed, leaving the house one by one until it was just me who was left. Joanne smiled at me and walked to the kitchen with empty cups of coffee. I grabbed the last two and followed her.

 

"So, you want to tell me more about this guy you met?"

 

She said it the way my mom would have said it. I shook my head.

 

"There's really nothing more to tell. He came back after he left because I let him know his wallet was still there."

 

"What happened?"

 

"Nothing. I made him sit outside because it was past closing time and then refused to go back in and get the wallet when it was time for me to go home."

 

Joanne turned to me. "You like him."

 

"I don't! This was just because he'd messed with Alicia's head, making her think he was so interested so he could get out of those fines. He really doesn't care about her no matter how hard she was throwing herself at him."

 

 Joanne rinsed the cups under hot water before packing them into the dishwasher. "Sounds to me like you're jealous."

 

"I'm not!" It was the second forceful denial. It was starting to sound like I was interested. I really wasn't. I mean: he was hot. He was drop dead gorgeous, in fact. I hadn't seen a man who looked like that in real life, ever, and it had been genuine. The problem was that he knew how good looking he was and a man like that was insufferable. Besides, I couldn't stand a man who insisted every woman melts into a pile of goo at his feet.

 

"I'm only seeing him again so he can get his wallet, and then that will be the end of it. He has a library card. If I see him again other than that it will be to check out a book or return it. Probably late."

 

Joanne shook her hands before drying them on a washcloth and leaned her hip against the counter.

 

"This is all very good of you to say, but I know you better than that, remember? I'm your friend."

 

I rolled my eyes. "Which is the only reason I'm still in this damn club. You know I don't fit in."

 

"Yeah, but you have the most interesting stories. Come on, you can't tell me you didn't notice how they were hanging on your every word in there."

 

"Because I was talking about a man that was sexy. Lela eats that stuff up."

 

"I knew you thought he was sexy."

 

She had me in a corner again. She was too clever for this. Maybe it would have been better if she were the lawyer and not Lela. Joanne was a force to be reckoned with. I always felt stupid when I was next to her even though she insisted my kind of intelligence was just different from hers.

 

"I have to get out of here. I want to see if I can still write a little tonight."

 

"You're fine getting home, or would you like me to drop you off?"

 

"I'm fine, thanks." I wasn't going to let her drive me around like she was my mom just because it was easier and cheaper to not use my car.

 

"I'm coming past you in the morning, though. Drive with me then."

 

I agreed. If it wasn't out of her way I didn't mind.

 

-----------------

 

I woke up and got dressed, ready for Joanne to pick me up. She looked crisp and fresh and I knew she'd had a whole morning behind her by the time I got into her SUV.

 

She drove right past the library on her way to work and it saved me a few dollars when she did.

 

"Thanks."

 

We got into her SUV and drove the short distance from her house to the Branciforte Library.

 

"He's not here yet," I said absently.

 

"Are you waiting for him?"

 

I looked at her. Her face was straight with no emotion but her eyes were laughing at me. I shook my head but I couldn't help smiling.

 

"It's for research, you know?"

 

"Right."

 

I shook my head and leaned over to hug her. "I'll see you tomorrow. Do you want to go out for drinks or something afterward?"

 

She nodded. "Sounds good. I'll talk to you later."

 

I got out of the SUV and waved at her before she pulled off. The library parking lot was empty. I walked up to the door and unlocked it, disabling the alarm and walking to the counter. I started up the computer and put my manuscript on the counter. I put my phone on top of it and sat down in the chair where I spent most of my day.

 

I had to train at home because I sat down all day, but I didn't stick to it enough to justify it and the chocolate I ate. Thank God I had a fast metabolism, which meant I hardly picked up weight even when I ate badly.

 

I glanced at the clock. It was almost eleven. The library was officially open. I walked to Alicia's office and found the wallet in the drawer where I'd left it last night. I put it in a drawer behind the counter instead and looked at the door that led outside.