Selena

 

"Can you finish early?" I asked Joanne when I phoned her just after lunch. "I need to go shopping and I really need your advice."

 

"What do you need to go shopping for?"

 

I hesitated for just a second but, of course, I wasn't going to keep a secret from my best friend. "I'm going on a date with biker guy tonight and I have nothing to wear."

 

"Oh, my God."

 

I nodded even though she couldn't see me. "I worked overtime last night so I can take off earlier. Come with me? You know I haven't done this in so long."

 

She was silent for a while and I imagined her checking her watch or her schedule or something.

 

"I'll pick you up at four."

 

She hung up. I put the library phone down and took a deep breath. I couldn't believe I'd agreed to go on a date with Logan when we'd had lunch. Actually, I could believe it, but I didn't usually do things like this. I'd had my fair share of boyfriends, of course. There was always someone interested. It just never lasted long. They never seemed to understand me. I could never relate to them, and, in the end, it often turned into something toxic or something detrimental to either or both parties. It just didn't work.

 

This...this was different. Logan was the type of guy I'd never looked at before. He was a badass, a drop-dead gorgeous one at that, and he didn't look like he took any shit. In fact, he looked like he caused it. But besides that, he liked reading books. He liked reading my book. That was worth something. I was a writer, and maybe he would understand at least a bit of me.

 

I wasn't expecting someone to understand me completely; I was reasonable, at least.

 

I always felt awkward in relationships because I knew I was always trying too hard to be someone I wasn't. I always tried to be like the other girls, the ones who had jobs that were worth mentioning and bodies worth looking at and jokes worth telling. I didn't have any of that.

 

I didn't care that Logan knew that, either. I'd shown him my snappy side, my irritated side, my wordy side, and he'd still wanted to see me again. Or at least, he'd wanted to get me to quiz him about his life. Which was fine by me. I didn't mind getting to know more about him. In fact, I wanted it.

 

Joanne stopped in front of the library at four on the dot and I was ready to go. I'd begged off from Alicia and made sure Will was in there to take my place so she had no reason to argue with me. Will was the type of guy who looked like he was always high and he was fine with anything as long as he didn't have to think about it.

 

"What do you have in mind?" she asked the moment I was in the car. "Where is he taking you?"

 

I shook my head and put on my seatbelt. "I have no idea. That's why I need your help."

 

She drove us to the closest mall and we parked and got out.

 

"Your best bet is a dress, I think. You can dress it up with heels and a shimmering shawl or dress it down with flats and a jacket. Hair up or down. Makeup light or dark."

 

I nodded. "That sounds like it could work."

 

We walked into the first store and Joanne picked out dresses for me to wear. I went into the changing rooms and came out, modeling them for her one by one. She was unhappy with most of them.

 

"Come on," I said after the fifth one. "Surely I can't look bad in all of them?"

 

Joanne shook her head. "You look great. I'm trying to decide which one will make him wonder what you look like when you're out of it."

 

"Joanne! This isn't what it's about."

 

She shrugged. "It never hurts to be prepared."

 

I shook my head and laughed. I knew I'd decided on the right person to help me with this. We finally settled on a very slinky little black dress that was made of a thin fabric that clung to my body. It set of my blonde hair and blue eyes and when I wore it I felt like a supermodel.

 

"What are you going to do with hair and makeup?" Joanne asked in the car.

 

"I was thinking something smoky? And I don't know...I'll leave my hair down because I wear it up all the time at work. That's all he's seen."

 

Joanne stopped in front of my apartment so I could go up and get ready. I'd told her how it had come about that we were going on a date.

 

"You know, there are other ways to create a character for a book. You don't have to sleep with them to write about them."

 

I blushed and nudged her. "I'm not planning on sleeping with him. Remember? This is about just getting to know him."

 

"Right. The DVDs. You just keep telling yourself that."

 

I rolled my eyes at her, smiled and leaned over to hug her. I got the bag with my new dress and matching shoes out of the foot well and closed the car door behind me. I waved at Joanne as she pulled off and went inside to get ready.

 

I showered and shaved. Everything. I knew I'd told Joanne I wasn't planning on having sex with him, but if it came down to it I wasn't so sure I would say no, and I wanted to know that I felt up to it - beautiful and well groomed - if it did come down to it. It never hurt to be prepared.

 

I blow dried my hair and ran a brush through it until it gleamed like silk. Some hair spray and gel wax on the tips and it looked a little messy and wild, just the way I liked it. It looked like I'd been up to no good and hadn't bothered to fix my hair afterward. It looked sexy, even if I had to say so myself.

 

I decided against stockings because my legs were so smooth I loved touching it myself, even, and I pulled on the dress. When I looked in the mirror it looked even better than it had in the shop. What was up with dressing room mirrors? If they tinted the mirrors a little and changed the lighting so it didn't show every blemish and flaw, I would be a lot more inclined to buy more clothes. I would feel better about my body when I walked out there and I wouldn't feel like it was a waste of my time and money.

 

When I was in my dress, I put on makeup. A smoky eye and a very red lip. I looked in the mirror. I was nervous the red lips would make me look like a hooker but it didn't. In fact, it looked really nice.

 

I was really excited to see Logan. I wanted to tell myself to calm down, to let it go and take the evening as it came. I didn't want to blow it up too much and then by the time I got there I was disappointed. The fact was, though, I was more excited about just spending time with Logan than I'd been about sleeping with any of the guys in my past. That was saying something. He was already so far in.

 

"Just take it slow, though," I told myself in the mirror. I barely knew the guy. It didn't have to go very fast. It didn't have to go fast at all. It would be better for me to take the time to get to know him.

 

But that was what this evening was all about, right? To find out about the DVDs. Why would a biker like him - someone who looked like he would be more comfortable in a fist fight than in a nursery - take out five children's DVDs and keep them that long? Did he have children?

 

God, I hoped not. Of course, I didn't doubt he'd been with a lot of women. With his charm and Alicia's eagerness to please him as a small taste of what this man was all about, I was pretty sure he'd slept with hundreds of women. There was a very real possibility that he'd misplaced a child or two.

 

Still, that would be disappointing, something that detracted from how sexy he was. I loved children, but I didn't want to get involved with someone who had a couple of them. I was only twenty-four. I didn't need that kind of drama.

 

What else could it be? Maybe he was a bleeding heart, the type who volunteered at children's homes and kept them busy with DVDs. Or maybe he was part of the Big Brothers of America where people fostered a kid for a day a week or something like that.

 

I shook my head at myself, finishing up. I glanced at the clock. He would arrive in a couple of minutes. I was looking for all sorts of answers, the clue to all sorts of mysteries, but the best idea would be to ask him straight up and have him answer me. If, of course, he wasn't going to use the information against me again and ask for another date. Which, of course, I wouldn't be able to refuse, because it was him.

 

My phone rang at eight exactly and I answered.

 

"I'm so sorry to do this to you, sweetheart," his voice came over the speaker and my heart sank. "Something came up and I'm not going to make it to your apartment. Will you do be the biggest favor and meet me there?"

 

"You're not canceling on me?"

 

"Not even if the world depended on it."

 

Relief washed through me. I'd expected him to cancel on me.

 

"Where must I meet you?"

 

He gave me an address.

 

"I'll see you soon." He hung up. I looked at the address I'd scribbled down. I grabbed a handbag, decided on heels instead of flats considering I couldn't ask him, and walked down to the road. I flagged a taxi and gave him the address.

 

The place was at the edge of town in an area I'd never been. The restaurant was classy and a seating hostess took me straight to a table when I mentioned Logan's name. He was already at the table, looking suave in a suit and tie. I hadn't seen him in anything other than jeans or leather and I had to admit he looked really good. The suit was dark, which made his eyes seem like bottomless pools of black, and his hair was actually combed to the side. If I'd passed him in the street looking like that I wouldn't have recognized him. He smiled at me when I sat down and I smiled back, already blushing. The look he gave me was exactly the look Joanne had suggested he would give me, given what I was wearing.

 

"Thank you for meeting me," he said.

 

"Thanks for not standing me up."