CHAPTER FIVE

Miriam raised a delicately etched eyebrow as Ethan and Arabella joined her. She stared hard at Arabella, almost incredulously, her eyes sharp and immediately hostile. She noticed that Ethan and the younger woman were holding hands, and for a minute, she seemed to lose a little of her poise. Then she smiled, almost as if by force of will, because there was no joy in her dark green eyes.

“Hello, Ethan.” She tossed back her long auburn hair nervously. “I hope you got my telegram?”

He stared back at her, refusing to be taunted. “I got it.”

“Pay the cabdriver, would you?” she persisted. “I’m flat broke. I hope you don’t mind my staying here, Ethan, because I blew my last dollar on this outfit and I just can’t afford a hotel.”

Ethan didn’t say a word, but his expression grew even more remote.

Arabella watched Ethan pay the driver, then her eyes darted to Miriam. The woman was perfection itself. Flaming red highlights in her long auburn hair, dark green, witchy eyes, an exquisite face and figure. But she was showing her age a bit, and she was heavier than she had been. What Coreen had said about pregnancy came home with full force. Yes, Miriam could be pregnant, all right. That would explain that slight weight gain, mostly in her waist.

“Hello, Arabella,” Miriam said as she studied the younger woman coldly. “I’ve heard enough about you over the years. I remember you, of course. You were only a child when Ethan and I married.”

“I’ve grown up,” Arabella said quietly. She stared after Ethan with soft longing. “At least, Ethan thinks so.”

Miriam laughed haughtily. “Does he, really?” she asked. “I suppose a very young woman would appeal to him, since she wouldn’t know what she was missing.”

That was an unexpected taunt. Arabella didn’t understand it, or the way Ethan looked when he came back, after gesturing for one of his passing cowboys to carry Miriam’s luggage up to the house.

“Tell her why you won’t get involved with experienced women, Ethan, dear,” Miriam murmured sarcastically.

Ethan stared at her with the intimidating look that Arabella hated. It even seemed to work on Miriam.

“Arabella and I go back a long way. We were involved before you and I were, Miriam,” he added, staring levelly at his ex-wife.

Miriam’s eyes blazed. “Yes, I remember your mother saying that,” she replied.

The expression on Miriam’s face did Ethan more good than anything had in years. He drew Arabella close against his side, giving her a quick, pleased glance when she let her body go lax against him. “You weren’t expected until next week,” he told Miriam.

“I just finished a modeling assignment down in the Caribbean and I thought I’d stop by on my way back to New York,” Miriam replied. She fidgeted with her purse, nervously it seemed.

Arabella stared at Miriam from the shelter of Ethan’s hard arm. It was almost rigid around her, which told her plenty about how he was reacting to the woman’s presence. She didn’t understand the undercurrents. If he still loved Miriam, she didn’t see why he couldn’t just say it. Why this pretense, when Miriam was obviously still jealous of him?

“How long do you want to stay?” Ethan asked. “We’re pretty busy right now and I hope you understand that Arabella and I consider our time together precious.”

Miriam lifted an eyebrow. “How convenient that you should turn up just now, Arabella. You’ve been pursuing your career for several years, I believe?”

“Bella was injured in a wreck. Naturally I want her where I am,” Ethan replied with a cool smile. “I hope you’ll enjoy spending your evenings talking to Mother.”

“I’ll manage,” Miriam said irritably. “Well, let’s go up to the house. I’m tired and I want a drink.”

“You won’t drink here,” Ethan said firmly. “We don’t keep liquor in the house.”

“Don’t keep…!” Miriam gasped. “But we always had a full liquor cabinet!”

“You did,” Ethan corrected. “When you left, I had the bottles thrown out. I don’t drink.”

“You don’t do anything,” Miriam said with a nasty inflection. “Especially in bed!” she lashed out.

Ethan’s arm tightened around her. Arabella was beginning to catch on, or she thought she was. She felt her hair bristling as she stared at the older woman with pure fury. Ethan didn’t need defending, and he’d probably be furious that she dared say anything, but this was too much! Miriam had run around on him; what did she expect when he was repulsed by it? Even love would have a hard time excusing that kind of hurt.

Ethan himself was having to bite his tongue. He knew how Miriam would love to provoke him into losing his temper, to give her an excuse to tell Arabella all their dark secrets. He didn’t want that, not until he’d had time to tell her himself. His pride demanded that much.

But Arabella got in the first words, her face lifted proudly as she faced the older woman without flinching. “You may have had problems in bed,” Arabella said quietly, clinging to Ethan’s hand. “Ethan and I don’t.” Which was the gospel truth, but not the way Miriam took it. Ethan smothered a shocked gasp. He hadn’t expected her to sacrifice her reputation for him, certainly not with such surprising courage.

Miriam shuddered with fury. “You little…!”

The word she’d used was dying on the air even as Ethan broke into it, his face fiercely angry at the way Arabella was trembling despite her brave front. “The road is that direction,” Ethan indicated. “I’ll send a cab after you. No way are you going to exercise your vicious tongue on my future wife!”

Miriam backed down immediately. Arabella didn’t do anything; she was too shocked at being referred to as Ethan’s future wife.

“I’m sorry,” Miriam said on a swallowed breath. “I suppose I did lay it on with a trowel.” She glanced at Ethan, curious and nervous now, unusually so. “I…I guess it shocked me to think you’d gotten over me.”

“I meant what I said,” he replied, his voice cutting. “If you stay here, it’s on my terms. If I hear so much as one sharp word to Bella, off you go. Is that clear?”

“It had better be, isn’t that what you mean, Ethan?” Miriam forced a smile. “All right, I’ll be the perfect houseguest. I thought we were going to talk about a reconciliation.”

“Perhaps you did,” Ethan said calmly. “Bella and I are going to be married. There’s no room in my life for you now or ever.”

Miriam seemed to go pale. She straightened, elegant in her pale gray suit, and smiled again. “That’s pretty blunt.”

“Blunt is the only way to be with you,” Ethan said. “After you,” he said, standing aside to let her enter the house.

Arabella was still stunned, although she had the presence of mind to wonder if Miriam’s outburst hadn’t been prompted by fear rather than anger. Which made her wonder why Miriam was so afraid of having Ethan involved with another woman. Ethan took her hand in his, feeling its soft coldness.

“You’re doing fine,” he said quietly, so that Miriam couldn’t hear. “Don’t worry, I won’t let her savage you.”

“I didn’t mean to say that….”

He smiled gently, despite his drawn features. “I’ll explain it to you later.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” she said, her eyes level and unblinking. “I don’t care what Miriam says.”

He drew in a deep breath. “You’re full of surprises.”

“So are you. I thought you were going to save the engagement threat as a last resort,” she murmured.

“Sorry. This seemed the best time. Come on. Chin up.”

She managed a smile and, holding tight to his lean hand, followed him into the house.

Coreen was unwelcoming, but she was too much a lady to show her antagonism for Miriam outright. She camouflaged it behind impeccable manners and cold courtesy. The only time a smile touched her lips was when Ethan sat down close beside Arabella on the sofa and drew her against him with a possessive arm.

It had thrilled Arabella earlier when Ethan had defended her so fiercely. Perhaps it had just been his distaste for Miriam’s manners, but it was nice to think that he cared enough to stand up for her. She curled up on the sofa against him, drinking in his nearness, loving the scent and feel of him so close. This was the one nice thing that had come out of Miriam’s visit. Arabella could indulge her longing for Ethan without giving herself away. What a pity that he was only pretending, to keep Miriam from seeing how vulnerable he was.

She glanced up at him, watching his lean face as he listened with coolly polite interest to Miriam’s monologue about her travels. He was so tense, and she felt that what Miriam had said about him in bed had hurt him. She remembered what Coreen had said about his finding Miriam repulsive and she wondered if that was what Miriam had been referring to. Odd that he’d gone so white at the reference. Well, a woman like that could do plenty of damage even to a strong man’s pride. She had a vicious tongue and no tolerance for other people. It wasn’t the kind of attitude that kept a marriage together, especially when she’d never given Ethan any kind of fidelity. That must have cut his heart to pieces, loving her as he had.

“What are you doing down here, Arabella?” Miriam asked eventually. “I thought you were in New York.”

“I was touring,” Arabella replied. “I was on my way back from a charity performance when the car was wrecked.”

“She was coming back here,” Ethan inserted smoothly with a warning glance at Arabella. “She’d gone with her father. I should have driven her myself.”

Arabella let out an inaudible sigh at the way she’d almost slipped up. Miriam would hardly believe that she and Ethan were engaged if Arabella was living in New York and they never saw each other.

“Will you be able to use your hand again, or is your career up the creek?” Miriam asked with a pointed smile. “I guess Ethan wouldn’t want you to do anything except have babies anyway.”

“As I recall,” Ethan said coldly, “you were quite emphatic about not wanting any. That was after I married you, of course,” he added meaningfully.

Miriam shifted restlessly. “So I was. Is there anything to do around here? I hate television,” she said, quickly changing the subject.

“Ethan and Arabella and I like to watch the nature specials,” Coreen said. “In fact, there’s a fascinating program about polar bears on tonight, isn’t there, dear?” she asked Ethan.

Ethan exchanged a glance with his mother. “There is, indeed.”

Miriam groaned.

It was the longest day Arabella could remember. She managed to dodge Miriam by staying with Ethan, even when he went out to check on the roundup. He usually took a horse, but in deference to Arabella’s injured wrist, he was driving the ranch pickup.

He glanced at her. “Doing okay?” he asked.

She smiled. “I’m fine, thanks.” He’d changed out of his traveling clothes into his worn jeans and boots and a blue plaid Western-cut shirt. His wide-brimmed hat was tilted at a rakish angle over his forehead. He looked very cowboyish, and Arabella grinned at the thought.

“Something funny?” he asked with a narrow, suspicious gaze.

“I was just thinking how much like a cowboy you look,” she replied. “Not bad, for the boss.”

“I don’t have to wear suits around the men to get their attention.”

“I remember.” She shuddered.

“Stop that.” He took a draw from the smoking cigarette in his hand. “You were a surprise this morning,” he said unexpectedly. “You handled Miriam very well.”

“Did you expect me to break into tears and run for cover?” she asked. “I’ve had a lot of practice with bad-tempered people. I lived with my father, remember.”

“I remember. Miriam’s the one who ran for cover this time.”

“You had a few bites of her, yourself. My gosh, what a venomous woman!” she said huskily. “I don’t remember her being that bad before.”

“You didn’t know her before. Or maybe you did,” he added quietly. “You saw through her from the beginning.”

She studied his averted face for a long moment, wanting to ask him something more, but uncertain of the way to go about it.

He sensed her curiosity and glanced toward her. “Go ahead. Ask me.”

She started. “Ask you what?”

He laughed coldly as he drove the truck along the rough track beside the fence, bouncing them both in the seats even with the superior shocks under the truck body. “Don’t you want to know why she was surprised when you gave her the impression we were lovers?”

“I thought she was just being sarcastic,” she began.

He turned the truck and headed it toward another rutted path. Then abruptly he stopped it and cut off the engine. He had the windows down, and the sounds of birds and the distant bawling of cattle filtered in through it.

He sat with one hand on the steering wheel, the other holding the cigarette. He shifted in the seat and stared at Arabella fully, his silver eyes touching her face while he struggled with an explanation he didn’t want to make. But Miriam was bound to say something to Arabella, and he wanted it to come from him, not from his venomous houseguest.

“Miriam took a lover two weeks after we were married,” he said quietly. “There was a procession of them until I divorced her. She said that I couldn’t satisfy her in bed.”

He said it with icy bluntness, his eyes dark with pain, as if it were a reflection on his manhood. Perhaps it was. Arabella had read that a man’s ego was the most vulnerable part of him.

She searched his face quietly. “It seems to me that nobody could satisfy her, Ethan. She certainly had a lot of lovers.”

He didn’t realize that he’d been holding his breath until then. Arabella’s attitude took the sting out of the admission. He relaxed a little. “They say everything goes if both partners want it, but I was too old-fashioned to suit Miriam.” He smoked his cigarette quietly.

She glanced at him. “Coreen thinks Miriam’s pregnant and that’s why she came back to try for a reconciliation. She wants to get you into bed and pretend it’s yours.”

“I told you at the outset, I don’t want her,” he said bluntly. “In bed or otherwise. She’d have to do a hell of a lot of pretending to get me to go along.”

“She could tell people you were the father,” she countered.

He sighed. “Yes, she probably could. That may be what she has in mind.”

“What are we going to do?” she asked.

“I’ll think of something,” he said without looking at her. Locking his bedroom door might be the best answer, but wouldn’t Miriam enjoy that, he thought bitterly.

“I could help if you’d tell me what to do,” she replied. “All I know about sex is what you taught me that day,” she added without looking at him.

That got his full attention. His breath was expelled in an audible rush. “My God,” he said roughly. “You’re kidding.”

“I’m afraid not.”

“Surely there were other men?”

“Not in the way you mean.”

“You had to go out on dates in the past four years,” he persisted. “You could be a virgin and still have some experience.”

She’d backed herself into a corner now, she thought worriedly. How could she tell him that the thought of any other man’s hands and eyes on her body had nauseated her? She looked for a way to change the subject.

“Answer me, Arabella,” he said firmly.

She glared at him. “I won’t.”

He began to smile. “Was it so good with me that you didn’t want it with anyone else?” he asked slowly. She blushed and averted her eyes, and he felt as if he were floating.

He reached out unexpectedly and caught a strand of her hair, savoring its silky softness. “I don’t know how I managed to stop. You were extraordinarily responsive.”

“I was infatuated with you,” she replied. “I wanted so desperately to show you that I was grown up.” She stared at his broad chest. “I suppose I did, but it didn’t help. We’d at least been on relatively friendly terms until then.”

He closed the ashtray and sat up straight again to study her through narrowed eyes. “I suppose you’re right. If we’re going to pull this off, you and I are going to have to give the appearance of intimacy when we’re around Miriam,” he said abruptly, changing the subject.

She was glad to return to the present. Discussion about the past was still unpleasant. “You mean, I need to wear low-cut dresses and slink when I walk and sit on your lap and curl your hair around my fingers? Especially in front of Miriam?”

“You’re catching on, cupcake,” he replied.

“It wouldn’t embarrass you?” she asked with a faint grin.

“Well, as long as you don’t try to take my clothes off in public,” he said. It was the first trace of humor she’d noticed in him since Miriam came. “We wouldn’t want to embarrass my mother.”

“You’ll have to settle for partial seduction right now, I’m afraid,” she sighed, indicating her wrist in the cast. “It’s hard enough undressing myself without having to undress you, too.”

“That reminds me,” he murmured with a pointed look at the straps under her blouse, “how do you manage to get undressed?”

She lifted her shoulders. “I can manage most everything. Except what’s underneath.”

“You might consider going without what’s underneath for the duration of Miriam’s stay,” he suggested somberly. “I’ll try not to stare, but it might give her food for thought if you walk around in front of me that way.”

“Your mother will have a heart attack,” she replied.

“Not my mother. She’s been in your corner since you were eighteen.” His eyes darkened as they searched hers. “She never could understand why I preferred Miriam to you.”

“I could,” she said with a harsh laugh. “Miriam was everything I wasn’t. Especially sophisticated and experienced.” She stared down at her lap with returning bitterness. “All I had going for me was a little talent. And now I may not even have that.”

“None of that,” he said curtly. His hand tightened around hers. “We won’t think ahead. We won’t think about when that cast comes off or your father’s reaction. We’ll think about Miriam and how to get her out of here. That’s our first priority. You give me a hand and I’ll do the same for you when your father shows up.”

“Will he show up, Ethan?” she asked miserably.

The soft green eyes looking so trustingly into his made his pulse hammer in his throat. She was as pretty as she’d been at eighteen, and just as shyly innocent. He wouldn’t have traded her tenderness for all of Miriam’s glittery sophistication, but he no longer had that choice. Arabella was only playing a part in this mutual-protection pact. He couldn’t lose sight of that fact. Arabella wasn’t his. With the bitterness of the past between them, she probably never would be.

“It doesn’t matter whether or not he does,” he replied. He studied her long, elegant fingers. “I’ll take care of you.”

She felt little thrills down her spine. If only he meant it! She closed her eyes, drinking in the scent of his cologne, the warmth of his lean, powerful body so close to her.

There had been so little affection in her life. She’d been alone and unloved. Her father had only wanted her talent, not her company. No one had ever loved her, but she wanted Ethan to. She wanted him to care as much as she did. But that would never happen now. Miriam had killed what love there was in him.

“You’re so quiet, little one,” Ethan said. He tilted her chin up and searched her sad eyes. “What’s wrong?”

The softness of his voice brought tears. They stung her eyelids and when she tried to hide them, he held her face firmly in both lean hands and made her look at him.

“Why?” he asked roughly.

Her lower lip trembled and she caught it in her teeth to still it. “It’s nothing,” she managed. Her eyes closed. She was a hopeless coward, she thought. She wanted to say why can’t you love me, but she was afraid to.

“Stop trying to live your whole life in one day,” he said sharply. “It won’t work.”

“I guess I worry too much,” she confessed, brushing away a shiny tear from her cheek. “But everything’s turned upside down. I had a promising career and a nice apartment in New York. I traveled…and now I may be a has-been. My father won’t even talk to me,” she faltered.

“He’ll be in touch,” he said. “Your hand will mend. Right now you don’t need a job; you’ve already got one.”

“Yes,” she said with a weak smile. “Helping you stay single.”

He gave her an odd look. “I wouldn’t put it that way,” he corrected. “The idea is to get Miriam to leave without bloodshed.”

She lifted her face. “She’s very beautiful,” she said, searching his pale silver eyes. “Are you sure you don’t want her back, Ethan? You loved her once.”

“I loved an illusion,” he said. His fingers brushed at a long strand of dark brown hair, moving it behind her ear. “Outward beauty isn’t any indication of what’s inside, Arabella. Miriam thought that beauty was enough, but a kind spirit and a warm heart mean a lot more to most people than a pretty face.”

“She’s not quite as cold as she was,” she said.

He smiled faintly, searching her eyes. “Are you trying to push me into her arms?”

“No.” She lowered her eyes to his hard mouth. “I just wondered if you were sure that getting rid of her is what you really want.”

He drew her forehead against his chest, smoothing down her ruffled hair as he stared over her head and out the window. “I’m sure,” he replied. “It wasn’t much of a marriage to begin with.” He drew back and looked at Arabella’s soft face, drinking in its delicate beauty, its strength of character. “I wanted her,” he said absently. “But wanting isn’t enough.”

Perhaps wanting was all he was capable of, though, Arabella thought miserably. He’d wanted her years ago, but he hadn’t loved her. He said he hadn’t loved Miriam, but since he married her, he must have felt something pretty powerful for her.

“What are you thinking about now?” he asked at her forehead.

“Just long thoughts,” she confessed. She drew in a steadying breath and lifted a smile to show him. “I’m all—”

His mouth settled unexpectedly on hers, covering the word even as she spoke it.

She stiffened at the feel of his firm lips on hers. All the years since he’d touched her, and it was as if they’d never been apart. She remembered the scent of him, the way his mouth bit at hers to make it open just as it had the first time he’d ever kissed her. She remembered the sound he made in his throat when he dragged her face under his with rough, warm hands and the feverish intensity of the mouth that grew instantly more demanding and intimate on her lips.

“Kiss me,” he whispered, his breath making little chills on her moist lips. “Don’t hold back.”

“I don’t want this—” she protested with her last whisper of will.

“You want me. You always have and I’ve always known it,” he said roughly.

His fingers speared into her long hair, tangling in its dark softness while his mouth crushed down on hers again, pressing her lips firmly apart as he began to build the intensity of the kiss from a slow possession to a devastating intimacy.

She stiffened and he hesitated, his mouth poised just above her own.

“Don’t fight me,” he said huskily. His hands moved, faintly tremulous where they held her face captive. He was burning. On fire for her. The old need was back, in full force, and she was his, if only for a space of seconds. He wanted her so desperately. She was his heart. Miriam and all the pain were forgotten in his driving hunger to hold Arabella’s soft body in his arms, to feel again the aching sweetness of her mouth under his. “Oh, God, let me love you,” he ground out.

“You don’t,” she said miserably. “You don’t, you never did…!”

He took the words into his open mouth. He groaned heavily and his hands slid over her back, bringing her gently against him, so that her breasts flattened against his hard chest while he kissed her. Her hands pressed against his warm shirtfront, but she didn’t kiss him back or put her arms around him. She was too afraid that he’d been stirred up by his ex-wife and now he needed an outlet. It was…demeaning.

He felt her lack of response and lifted his head. He could hardly breathe. His chest actually throbbed with the fierce thunder of his heart, and the sight of Arabella’s flushed, lovely face under his made it go even faster. She looked frightened, although there was something under the fear, a leashed hunger that she was refusing to satisfy.

And that wasn’t the only thing he noticed. Despite the blow Miriam had dealt his pride, he discovered that he was suddenly very much a man. He felt desire as he held Arabella; a raging desire he’d thought for four years he’d never be able to feel again for a woman. The impact of it brought a muffled curse from his lips. Of all the times for it to happen, and with Arabella, of all people!