Deva’s eyes opened as if she hadn’t slept at all. Wide open, looking around in the darkness. The drapes were not drawn on the window and night prevailed. Still in the same position she had been when Damon put her to bed, she turned to find another, more comfortable position, but her body strongly disagreed with her. Moaning, she stretched to loosen her muscles up a little.
“Deva?”
The deep voice came from the corner of the room, but she only saw a shadow moving. Still too tired to react, her brain connected the voice to a man.
“Aleksei?”
The form climbed onto the bed like a cat, a very big one, and now up close, she could see his tired, worried face. He seemed to hesitate, holding himself back. “Are you okay?”
Deva nodded and extended her arms in invitation to lie beside her. He shook his head.
Frowning, Deva pushed herself up to rest her back against the headboard, and she was able to get a better look at him. He was now kneeling on the bed, clad in the same black clothes he had been wearing earlier, his hands fisted, resting on his thighs.
“What’s going on Aleksei? What’s wrong?”
He shook his head, black hair tousled, gray eyes not even looking at her. Instead, they were fixed on his hands. In fact, his entire body was tense, his breathing hissing through his nose. When she attempted to reach for him, he jerked back.
“Aleksei, talk to me, you’re making me very worried.”
“Worried?” The word came out of him as a shout before he reined himself in. Furious. If Deva hadn’t been against a solid object, she would have backed up a little. And then he lifted his head to her, boring his silver eyes into her very soul. “You don’t know what worried means. The last forty-eight hours...” His face contorted into a mask of pain. Again, she reached for him, but he stopped her. “Don’t touch me, Deva. I’m way over the edge. I could contain the fear deep down inside me as I was desperately searching for you, I could go through the motions and lock my emotions like I’ve done so many times before, but now... when you are finally safe. I’m so angry at you!”
And again, she saw him fighting against himself for a while before he continued. “You put yourself in danger! I told you to stay at the hotel under Lance and Kai’s protection, but you didn’t listen. You don’t listen! And now that I know you are safe, still breathing, still alive and whole...”
Deva’s chest was so tight, it was as if she couldn’t draw a breath. When she had been in her little cell, all she wanted was to see Aleksei again and even take the risk to say three little, dreaded words to him. And now? It was as if he was struggling to find the words to tear her from his life.
When he spoke next, his voice was so gruff, almost animalistic. “I fear that if I touch you, it wouldn’t be tender or soft, and that’s what you need right now. All I want is to punish you, to torment you, so you have an idea of the torture I went through when you vanished.” He exhaled sharply through clenched teeth after he said the words.
Finding her voice, Deva risked an answer. “I didn’t know it would turn ugly. I wouldn’t have risked the guys or Sasha if I had known... I know you must hate me now.”
“Hate you?” He shouted again. “I want to shake you until you realize what you’ve done and never do it again. I want to brand every single inch of your skin so no other man would dare come close to you. I want to make you lose your mind, so you never disobey me again. I want to crawl under your skin as you have crawled under mine.”
As he spoke, Aleksei was now on all fours, unconsciously inching toward her, and she knew at that instant that if she touched him, it would unleash the beast. Alyosha would be nowhere to be seen, consumed by the darkest part of the man who was Aleksei. He was the incarnation of everything that made her flee all those years ago, but she loved him. Her feelings were as clear as day. It was impossible for her to leave him alone when he was bearing his soul to her. And if she had to submit until the monster inside had his fill of her, so be it. She would do it for him.
This was no time for half steps, and once she made up her mind, Deva leaped and kissed him. A small part of her was scared about what might happen, but she trusted Aleksei implicitly and knew that his most logical, civilized self would resurface at the right moment.
Aleksei moved lightning quick and fisted his hand through her dark curls, forcing her head back, baring her neck to him. His teeth grazed her skin as he groaned. Sitting back on his haunches, his other hand tore at her blouse before getting rid of her bra. Then he bit her hard on that sensitive spot just above her clavicle. Her hands went to his chest, trying to hold on to something as she winced in pain. It wasn’t bad and only lasted a second, but she knew he was being true to his word and was branding her skin. Never letting go of her, he scratched and bit her sensitive flesh as he inched lower, always combining pain with pleasure. His teeth grazed the side of her breast, and his stubble chafed a little, and then a lot. Desire for him was starting to haze her brain, making her forget her strained position, pushing her chest out for him, wanting his touch even more.
As he restlessly rubbed his cheek against the side of her breast, his hands released her and grabbed her waistband. Again, in a matter of seconds, her pants were gone, and she was naked under his still clothed form. Deva wanted him naked too, to feel his skin against her, but when she was about to slide her hand under his shirt, he shackled both her wrists.
Aleksei wasn’t looking at her, he was a man on a mission, exorcising his own fear and pain, proving to himself she was alive and well. He took one of her breasts into his mouth and positioned his knees between her legs. In this position, he had complete control over her, and the realization that she was completely helpless made her shiver. Still sorting through her conflicting emotions, wanting to bring him closer and pushing him away at the same time, he slid his fingers between her legs. There was no teasing when he parted her slick folds, but she wanted him, wetness slowly dripping from between her legs as proof. As Aleksei realized the state she was in, he released her breast and returned his face to her, his expression feral. His touch intensified, his legs widened, forcing her thighs apart, baring herself more for him as his eyes were focused on her face.
Her body betraying her, pleasure started to fill her mind, breaking her shyness. Instead, riding on her increasing need, she planted her heels on the bed and tilted her hips toward his touch.
“My dirty, dirty girl. You want this, you want my hand between your legs.”
“Yes,” Deva answered before she thought about it. Desperation was riding close with her lust, both accelerating her need and messing with her brain.
“And you want my fingers inside you?” And before she could answer, he pushed two digits roughly into her tight channel, and her lungs emptied, preventing her from emitting any sound. Before she could get used to the feeling, he pushed into her again, the palm of his hand smashing against her clit. Now, a deep moan fell from her.
“Ah, how beautiful you are, my solnyshka, when you are chasing after your pleasure. When you are submitting to me.”
The thought of submission rolled in her stomach, but her body was under attack, not allowing her rebellious thoughts to linger for long. Relentless, Aleksei released her hands but didn’t stop his assault. Sliding down between her legs, he kissed the inside of one thigh, then turned to the other. Deva leaned on her elbows to peer at the man, fully clothed, dangerous, incredibly handsome, looking back at her with the focus of a predator as his mouth descended on her. And when he smiled, her heart somersaulted, even if there wasn’t anything friendly about it. The proof of his threat lay his next kiss on the tender skin that turned into a fierce bite.
Irritated, Deva was about to kick him off when his thumb came to her clit and strummed it. Pleasure battled with outrage once more, but she couldn’t help but submit to him. His bite, his marks, they were inconsequential. A few hours ago, she confronted death and now, her very soul craved life. Craved pleasure forced on her by the man she loved.
He repeated it again, giving her love bites as he curled his fingers inside her.
The sensation forced her to close her eyes, her hands found his black hair, and she pulled at him. Her hips jerked as he played with her, rubbing all the right places inside her.
“You are mine, Deva. Do you fucking understand? Your body, your soul. I can’t breathe without you, and you can’t come without me.”
“Aleksei, please.” Shedding any form of shame, Deva decided that going after what she wanted was much more important than anything else. “Then take me, mark me, brand me, but don’t leave me alone in the dark. I can’t stand being without you.”
As he unfastened his pants, Aleksei’s fierceness and anger were slowly being replaced by need and something she saw as a ragged vulnerability. When he plunged into her in one swift movement, his body shuddered, and he leaned over, placing one arm on each side of her head.
“Damn, Deva. I’m too rough, insane. I’m hurting you.”
He was right on all fronts, but she was past the point of rescue. “Fuck me, Aleksei. I want it. I need it. I need you!”
The fire returned to his eyes with a vengeance. It was his time to move his hips, and he slammed into her. Over and over again, he pounded his hard cock inside her, smashing his pelvic bone onto her clit, fully clothed and eyes burning so hot, there would be nothing of her when it was over.
The tempo increased, and Deva framed his face covered with sweat, desperate to kiss him, but he evaded her lips.
“No, not before you come, not before you scream my name and submit, Deva.”
And then he twisted his hips, increasing the friction inside her until she couldn’t do anything but let go. Orgasm rendered her blind to the world as she was swiped by a pleasure so intense, it was impossible for her to think. Her body tensed until she thought she would break in two, and when finally falling back into herself, Aleksei came with a gut-wrenching groan that propelled her on another wave of pleasure. He repeatedly jerked, lost, and collapsed on top of her, Russian words purring in her ear between two gulps of air.
Dizzy, but content, Deva circled his shoulders. As she reveled in the heaviness of his spent body over hers and his cock still pulsating inside her core, Deva moved her hand to stroke his hair. The inky strands were damp and so soft, such a stark difference with his hard, muscled frame. This strong man. One she’d almost never had the chance to see again. Deva fought against the images of the cell that invaded her mind. The fear that had almost consumed her and the sadness of never seeing this man again. And the doubts still lurking inside her. Tears clogged her throat, and she tightened her hold on him, burying her face in his shoulder, inhaling his scent as his hair tickled her cheek.
Sensing her distress, Aleksei tried to pull away, but she only tightened her grip as tears started falling and a sob escaped her lips.
“Deva? Lyubimaya?”
But she didn’t say a word, his tender voice breaching the dam of tears and agony even more. Holding him like a lifeline, as if she would die if not touching him, she sobbed even harder, tears streaming ceaselessly now. Not fighting her anymore, Aleksei rolled them over until she was on top of him, and his arms were holding her tight. One hand in her hair, he mumbled senseless words, a mix of English and Russian, until all her fears, sorrows, and anger had left her body, replaced by the coldness of reality. Spent by their lovemaking and the tears, Deva finally relaxed, her breath calming down while Aleksei never stopped caressing her hair and her naked back. Long minutes passed, and she just listened to his heart beating in his chest.
Then, gently, his hand cupped her cheek and forced her to look at him. She had frightened him, and there was also doubt in his stormy eyes. “Lyubimaya? Tell me why you are crying. Have I...”
She stopped him immediately. “No, it’s not you. I never regret anything I do with you. Even though I may be a little pissed off later when I see the extent of the bruises and love bites you left on me.”
But he didn’t smile at her pitiful jest. “Tell me why the tears, Deva.”
There was no way to hide from him. “I remembered the hours I spent in that cell after Semyon knocked me unconscious and kidnapped me, and the thoughts of never seeing you again. It was unbearable. And I realized that...”
The words got stuck on the edge of her lips. The three words that she had vowed to tell him if she ever survived and had the chance, and now her courage turned into cowardice. There he was, looking at her with his mercury eyes, waiting patiently for her.
“I realized that if I died, I would regret one thing. Not telling you one thing. I love you, Aleksei.”
It took a moment for him to register the words. When he did, his mouth opened, astonishment clearly etched on his handsome features. He licked his lips, about to speak when someone knocked at the door, Gabrielle’s voice coming from the other side.
“Deva? Aleksei? We need you now. We have news about Sasha.”