It was weird how mourning came in so many shapes and forms. Mourning a person, mourning the past, who we were or could have been.
Deva had released her father’s body to Morgan. She could have managed the funeral if it had been small and intimate, but the death of a leader such as him required extensive celebrations, parades, huge halls to welcome other MCs. It wasn’t what Deva wanted to be part of.
In fact, she relinquished all of that, and only requested one thing. She wanted a minute, alone, with her father’s body. Before the official viewing, before everybody arrived. Morgan agreed, and she had an hour alone with her father. For an hour, she talked to him, to his still form in the coffin, that was dressed in his MC colors and patches. Opening her heart and soul to him for the first time, certain now that he would listen to her. Deva knew it probably looked futile, but to her it was important. The little girl inside her wanted her daddy one last time. And the grown woman needed closure.
After tears, laughter, shouts, and curses, her soul settled until she found herself at peace. Much danger was to come, as the replacement of an MC president came with blood and violence, but it wasn’t her concern anymore.
Damon even called her to make sure she was okay. A sweet gesture, but also one of an MC president preparing for what was coming next. She was grateful for Damon’s help and wouldn’t forget it. However, whatever came next wasn’t hers. As the only living Johnson, and being female, the power wasn’t in her hands anymore.
And at nights, when she was alone in her small North Side apartment, heart-wrenching tears could finally flow. She grieved for her father, but for so much more. The love she couldn’t have, the man who haunted her dreams and possessed her heart. All the what-could-have-beens.
Time passed, and after a quick and ruthless bloodbath in the city, relative peace seemed to have returned to Chicago. Finch’s plan had been defeated, and despite all the pain still inside her, it was worth it.
On her way to meet Beatrice one last time, Deva looked up at the city and felt adrift, hoping another sign would make her next decision clearer.
When she entered the trendy restaurant in the West Loop, where Beatrice and Gabrielle had invited her, Deva immediately saw the two women in the far-left corner, near the window. And to her surprise, Lazarus was with them.
Beatrice took her in her arms in a strong hold. “Are you alright, Deva?” It would have been so easy to dissolve into tears right there, but she fought against them, instead offering a smile to her friend.
“I’m fine, Bea, or getting there at least.”
Gabrielle was next to kiss her cheek before releasing her to Lazarus. The man normally so closed off, gave her a quick hug before kissing the top of her head.
“So glad you are okay, Deva. Please, take a seat.”
The restaurant was awash with sunshine, and as soon as she was seated, a perky waitress came to announce the specialties and recommendations. Food was so far from her mind, Deva pointed at a few things and hoped that it was something from this earth and palatable.
Once the waitress had gone, she couldn’t help but turn to Lazarus.
“Do you have news from Sasha? I’ve tried to reach her, call her, but it’s as if she has vanished.”
Lazarus’s jaw tightened, his gray eyes, identical to Aleksei’s, darkened.
“After her rescue, I hid her in a safe house, somewhere she could feel safe. Where she could rest, heal... I had to come back here to deal with the fallout from the mission. When I returned, she was gone. I’m sorry, Deva. I should have watched her more carefully. And now, I’m worried about her.”
Even if the poor man was twisted about it, part of her was somewhat reassured. “Don’t be, Oz. I know Sasha. What she went through, a few years ago, is not my place to tell, but it’s way more traumatic than what you can imagine. More than what happened with Semyon. What I can tell you is that one of her ways to cope was to disappear. For a while at least. Don’t worry, she will come back when she’s ready.”
It was obvious her words didn’t appease his worry, and Deva wondered what had happened between them.
Her thoughts were interrupted when the waitress came back with their drinks. Deva took a sip of her wine, not tasting much. Sensing the attention of her friends on her, she decided to deflect.
“I heard that most syndicates have followed our advice. But what I want to know even more is if you have news about Jamieson Finch. And what is he up to now?”
Lazarus shook his head, and Gabrielle rolled her eyes, but it was Beatrice who answered her question.
“We don’t know for now. He seems to have disappeared, but that won’t be for long. I had a profiler make an assessment, and the result is quite frightening. He will retaliate, that’s certain. And as his enemies are his own sons and now his sons’ friends, it’s not too far-fetched to think which people he will pick as his next targets.”
Lazarus nodded. “And I’ve warned all of my brothers to stand ready.”
Deva didn’t want to think about any of the brothers. Not now, not when she was still on the verge of being broken by grief.
“And I’ve tightened the security of everyone at Purgatory. I won’t let my organization be vulnerable to this man.”
Gabrielle nodded at Beatrice’s words. “I doubt we will have to wait long before we hear from Finch again. That’s why I intend to stay a while longer. In Chicago, I mean. I know that Lazarus is going back to London for a few weeks, but we’ll keep our ears to the ground and prepare in the meantime.”
“Speaking of possible targets, what’s happened to Lance? Is he still going to train with Rusty? He never told me how he knew you. All three of you.”
Gabrielle exchanged a glance with Beatrice. “Lance had been working for my organization, Purgatory, as a consultant. With his two brothers. His last mission that involved Lazarus went south, and he was seriously wounded. Soon after, he vanished. He discharged himself from the Navy and disappeared off the grid. Even his brothers, and his closest friend, Gabrielle’s husband, couldn’t reach him. We think that his injuries shook him more than he could ever admit. It was a pure coincidence that he appeared at Rusty’s gym and I was happy to see he’s back in shape. Well, as much as we can tell. I don’t know if he will stick around, but one thing’s for sure, we’ll see him again. I’m convinced it’s partly because of you. By giving him purpose, you forced him out of his hole.”
Beatrice nodded and smiled. “And you reached him somehow. Something changed as he finally reconnected, it’s a great relief. And it’s because of you. I even learned that he spoke with Kai a few times over the phone.”
Lazarus scoffed. “Kai wants to know more about Purgatory. I think he’s getting bored.”
Gabrielle took another sip of wine. “Nonetheless, it’s a step in the right direction for me. Thank you, Deva.”
Deva shook her head. There was no credit to be had. Lance was a good man, and she liked him. Twirling the wine in her glass, she changed the topic. “Do you think Finch knows that I’ve had something to do with the collapse of his plan?”
“It’s difficult to know. But if it’s the case, I doubt that you are on top of that list. And rest assured that I will take all the flack, Deva. I would never put you on the spot.” Lazarus’ serious tone reassured her greatly. Never in her life had she been completely safe anyway, why would it change now?
“I’ll take the flack that is mine, thank you very much.”
Gabrielle laughed. “We should make a list ordering us in the level of involvement, or who had priority to take Finch down, and sign it with our blood. It would give a certain flair to this mission.”
Beatrice shook her head as everyone laughed. “And you Deva, as you are now free, what do you intend to do? Return to San Antonio, and the therapy center?”
How many times had she pondered that very question without coming to any conclusions? “I don’t know yet, Bea. It’s so strange. I’ve always had a goal, or knew what my next step was, and now? With my father gone and me back in Chicago, I’m not sure.”
Gabrielle’s eyes looked at her with such intensity, Deva could almost read her thoughts. Aleksei.
“What about letting things flow for a while, maybe you’ll find the answers you are searching for. You know there is always a plan B anyway.”
Lazarus blinked at Gabrielle’s cryptic words but didn’t add anything to it.
Beatrice’s eyes turned to Deva but didn’t add anything either. Instead, she lifted her glass.
“I want to thank Deva for everything she had done, for her sacrifice to help us stop Finch. To one of my wonderful Dark Sparrows, for her courage and to have avoided a bloody war.”
Both Gabrielle and Lazarus lifted their glasses. Touched, Deva lifted hers.
“Anytime, my friends. Never hesitate to ask for my help if you need it.”