SIX

 

After Noah left, there didn’t seem to be much else to do. Darien bustled around his house, doing some chores which he didn’t ever seem to have the time to do when he came in late at night. It was strange to be in his house during the daytime, and for awhile, Darien could forget everything else and just throw himself into what would be simple, almost brainless, routines for most people, but not for him.

But eventually, those things were all done, and it was still just the early evening. Darien had nothing to do, and he found himself just sitting on the couch, absently reaching for his phone, which had been turned off this whole time. He didn’t have friends, not exactly, not outside of the band, but maybe he could see what Lance or Ken was up to. Probably not Aaron, since the guy didn’t exactly go out of his way to inspire a lot of feelings of friendship, but either of the other two of his bandmates …

When he turned on his phone, though, and a message popped up, all of his thoughts about what he might do that night simply faded away the moment that he read it.

Noah needed a favor?

In the whole entire time that Darien had known the man, he’d never asked anyone for anything, not that Darien had ever seen. He was strong and independent, to a fault, and Darien knew very well that Noah was like that because he’d never had anyone to rely on. He counted on himself because he knew that he was the only person that he could count on.

The message had only been sent about ten minutes ago, and Darien felt the strain of his fingers stabbing at the screen as he tapped out a response as quickly as he possibly could.

Of course, Noah. Anything.

He said it without any reservation. There wasn’t anything that he could imagine not doing for Noah, and all of a sudden, he remembered the one and only time that Noah had asked him to do something. He’d asked Darien to stay, and Darien had turned him down.

Well, now he was being given another chance, and this time, he wouldn’t leave Noah. He would be dependable, a perfect friend, whatever Noah needed, as long as it didn’t threaten his independence too much, though since Noah had always been equally independent, that probably wouldn’t happen.

He waited breathlessly for the text back, and his heart clenched in his chest painfully as he read it.

I need a place to stay for a while

That wasn’t just a small favor, or it wouldn’t seem so to Noah. Of course, there was no problem as far as Darien was concerned. He would do a lot more than simply open his house to this man, who meant so much to him. He didn’t even care how long it was. Overnight, a week, a month. Forever. It was all good, especially the last option.

Ugh, where had that thought come from? And what could have driven Noah to ask for this? Darien didn’t know, but he sort of hated himself because he was grateful for it. It was giving him a chance that he had been so sure that he would never have.

Where are you? I’ll come pick you up.

 

* * *

 

When Darien saw Noah, his heart felt like it just might break. The poor man was sitting there, perched on top of his suitcase, looking so small and brave and alone that it made Darien ache for him. He had to take a second before he got out of the car, though, because he knew very well that the last thing this man would want was to be pitied.

When he had his face, if not his heart, under control, Darien slipped out of the car and pasted a big, wide smile on his face. He would cheer Noah up, as much as he could, because clearly, the man was not having his best day ever right now.

“Noah! Come on, we’ll pick up dinner, and later I’ll make popcorn, and we can watch a movie,” Darien called, trying to make it sound like this was a fun time, like the many nights they’d spent doing just that back in their dorm room.

Noah was moving slowly, with a reluctance which was palpable. Darien needed to keep in mind that this might be a good thing for him, it might be a dream come true, but it wasn’t the same for Noah. Whatever had happened, it was bad news that had led Noah to him.

Darien went to him, offering to help with his suitcase, but he wasn’t that surprised when Noah shook his head and started to lug it himself. All Darien could do was open the back door of the car so that Noah could heave it in.

Not that it wasn’t tempting to help, but he knew this man. He knew that any attempt to take care of him right now needed to be undertaken very carefully because he was already feeling so helpless. Darien would do what he could, but he also didn’t want to offend this man.

Soon enough, they were all packed up, and they got into the car. Darien got them headed for home and then glanced over at Noah, trying to read the expression on his face. To a lot of people, Noah’s face would look blank, neutral, expressionless, but there was a tension in the corners of his eyes and his lips which Darien knew meant he was feeling far more than he let on.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Darien asked though he thought he knew the answer. It didn’t surprise him at all when Noah just shook his head, and Darien sighed to himself as he looked back at the road.

No, not surprising at all, but it was a little annoying. But it was just how Noah was, and he was that way for a reason. Probably for more than one reason.

“I’d like to hear, if you want to tell me anytime,” Darien admitted. “But either way, you’re welcome to stay with me as long as you need to.”

Forever. Darien thought the word again but didn’t say it. It was weird that he kept thinking it, not his style at all. Anyway, he wasn’t even sure Noah had forgiven him for leaving in the first place. So he bit back the word, though he meant it with all of his heart.

Darien could feel the force of Noah’s gaze as the other man looked at him, but Darien kept his eyes on the road. He was going off of nothing more than instinct, but intuition was telling him as clear as anything that Noah needed the space to watch him in silence.

So he let him. And slowly, the weight of those eyes left him, and Darien could breathe a little bit more easily. Once, it had been so natural, so easy, to be around this man, but that had been a year ago, and they hadn’t exactly parted on the best terms.

Maybe someday he’d be able to interact with him without feeling like he had to tread on eggshells. For now, it was just enough that Noah wanted him around.

As he drove, three words came up in his mind, three words that he had never thought of saying to anyone before. Three words that he hadn’t been sure that he would ever say to anyone, at least not romantically speaking, because they seemed like way too big of a deal.

Well, they were too big of a deal. Way, way too big of a deal, in this situation. No matter how true they felt. No matter that Darien couldn’t remember another time that he had even been tempted to say those words, at least to anyone but his parents and that wasn’t the same thing at all.

So Darien did what he always did, what he knew would seem completely normal to Noah. He chattered. He talked about anything and everything that came to mind, books he’d read, news stories, anything that would keep him from saying those words.

When Darien pulled into the underground parking lot nestled snugly under the building where he lived, he turned to look at Noah, and the words died on his tongue completely. It was hard enough to breathe, let alone talk, and he just stared for a moment, getting lost in the twilight blue of Noah’s large, expressive eyes. Even when his face showed nothing, those eyes, they showed everything, if one thought to look.

In those eyes, he saw something, and it was that thing which had his breath freezing in his lungs, had his heart pause, and then give a painful, lurching thump in his chest.

Noah was looking at him, and there was a smile in his eyes. Maybe there was even something more. Maybe those three words were in Noah’s eyes, too.

Even if it was just wishful thinking, as it no doubt was, it made him feel funny inside, all tingly and warm, and that was probably a dangerous way to feel. He and Noah were, by no means, on firm ground, and he had to remember that or else risk acting too familiar and pushing him away.

“Okay. Come on. Netflix awaits,” Darien finally managed, when the moment between them, when the connection of their eyes, threatened to become too much. When the heat building between them, he thought, might just scorch his skin, he forced his eyes away.

It could just be him, he reminded himself. Noah might feel none of this. The poor man had been through something today, and Darien didn’t have to know all of the details to know that maybe sex, or intimate connection of any kind, was the absolute last thing on Noah’s mind at the moment.

So he was probably imagining it, he told himself, as he slipped out of the car. He knew very well that he had a strong ability to see positive things in situations which weren’t always the best.

It was usually a good thing, but if it made him freak Noah out, if it made him make the other man run away from him, then it wasn’t worth it. Better to go slow, in this case, and hope against all hope that someday, Noah would see that Darien was worth being with.

Just as friends, of course. It wasn’t like Darien even wanted more than that, and he knew that Noah didn’t, either. Or even if Darien did want it, he was hardly going to admit to that. Not before Noah did, anyway.

The moment between himself and this man was stretching on, and every time Darien managed to free himself from that gaze, he found himself looking right back at him, caught by those eyes as if by powerful magnets. Held by the shape of Noah’s lips, curved in a bit of a smile. Noah didn’t just smile for anyone. In fact, Noah rarely smiled for anyone, and yet, he was sitting there, smiling, all for Darien.

It was terrifying. It was wonderful. Darien wanted it to stop, but he also wanted it never to stop. He wanted to sit here in this car and see if he could tease more than just that half smile out. He wanted to give Noah a reason to smile, to drop his overly serious facade and to be who he really was, under all of the quietness and solemnity.

Instead, Darien wrenched his gaze away one last time, and he opened the door. Looking away from Noah’s big, beautiful dark blue eyes felt like pulling off his own arm, it hurt that much, but he managed to do it, and then step out of the car.

God, he was in so much trouble, wasn’t he? Noah still had him wrapped around his little finger, and Darien wasn’t sure there was anything that could change that.