EIGHT

 

Darien opened his eyes, and at first, he didn’t know why he was on his couch, and he definitely had no idea why there was someone curled up in his arms. There was an insistent sound, a buzzing tone, and it was this that had woken him up.

His phone. It was his phone. He groaned and reached for it, his fingers curling around the plastic case and pulling it to him. Beside him, chest to Darien’s chest and back to the room, Noah stirred a little but slept on.

At some point, they must have fallen asleep, tangled up in each other on the couch. That time they’d made each other come, it had only been the first one. They’d gone many more times, two starving men finally given access to food for the first time.

Darien had never had any idea that he could feel so satisfied with so little. They’d rubbed off on each other, they’d stroked each other to completion, and it was all teenager stuff. The sort of thing that a couple might do furtively in their bedroom, fearful of being heard.

So why was it so satisfying? Why did it feel so good, when from someone else, Darien knew that he would want far, far more? Well, it wasn’t that he didn’t want it, because he did. He wanted to feel Noah’s body around him more than anything, but what they were doing felt so good that it didn’t feel like there was a rush to get to that.

Darien smirked to himself. He must have worn the beautiful young man out, because it wasn’t very often that Darien was the first one up. Noah seemed to sleep lightly, and not even close to enough. Which made him try to be far more careful as he pulled the phone to his face, speaking softly as he tried not to rouse his sleeping … whatever Noah was.

“Yeah?” He pitched his voice just above a whisper, just loud enough that the person on the other side could hear him.

“Darien? What’s up? Why are you talking so quietly?” Lester asked, his tone sharp with suspicion. He had this way of speaking, like Darien was some sort of child. Someone who couldn’t take care of himself. He did it to all of the members of his band, though more to Darien since he was the youngest.

“I …” Darien cleared his throat and raised his voice a little. Lester was pushy, nosey, and Darien wasn’t sure that he was ready to share what was going on between him and Noah with the world just yet. “Why are you calling so early?”

“It’s after ten thirty in the morning,” Lester commented, his voice amused. “And you have a practice today at noon if I’m not mistaken.” Which he wasn’t, he kept a better tab on their schedules than Darien did, which Darien supposed was part of the job of a manager.

“Oh.” Darien took a deep breath, and he felt Noah stirring. He made a hopeless attempt at sitting up, to try to take this conversation into the other room. It would be nice if Noah got a nice long sleep in for once, but their legs were tangled up in each other, and Darien felt like growling at himself as he saw those eyes, dark with sleep, open.

While sleeping, Noah looked so carefree. It was the only time when he did. There was a sort of tension in his face during his waking hours, and Darien hated to be the one who brought him back into that.

“Darien?” Noah asked, and Lester was silent on the other end of the line. Had he heard? Darien held up a hand to silence Noah, just for a few minutes, and hoped that Lester hadn’t heard anything.

It wasn’t that he was ashamed to be with Noah. It was more that he was jealous of their time together, and he didn’t want this thing to become public, not just yet. Not until it was more stable, and they had settled into their new roles with each other, whatever those would be.

Lester would probably want to turn it into some sort of marketing thing. The world might tear them apart because the small bit of trust which Noah had allowed back into his eyes was new and fragile and delicate.

“What’s up, man?” Darien asked, breaking the silence between him and Lester, sitting up to perch on the edge of the couch, by Noah’s feet. He drew them absently into his lap, rubbing his thumb over the soles and kneading at the arch, enjoying the intimacy in a way that he wouldn’t have suspected from himself.

Noah moaned softly, and Darien smirked to himself. It seemed like Noah wasn’t used to such touching, either, but that only made Darien want to do it more. As far as he was concerned, anything that made Noah make noises like that was just fine.

“I’m planning a tour,” Lester told him, and to Darien’s relief, there was nothing said about either Noah’s voice or that little moan that he had let out. Hopefully, Lester hadn’t heard anything.

“A tour? Like you mean around California?” Darien frowned. That didn’t seem like a big enough deal for Lester to call him. He could have just told them all at practice today. They’d done tours in the surrounding area before, after all.

“No. Around the United States.” Lester sounded greatly pleased with himself, and Darien could nearly see the smug smirk on his face as the words oozed his self-satisfaction. “As soon as this album is done. And you are all going to have to help promote it.”

Darien’s head reeled. A nationwide tour? He found himself shaking a little bit, not sure how to feel about that. Of course, he had wanted a tour like that. Wasn’t that what they were all on this for? For the fame and fortune? Well, fortune was starting to come in, but their fame was mostly local so far.

“Help promote it?” Darien’s tongue felt too big in his mouth, making it hard to speak. He felt like an idiot, just numbly parroting back the words, but the truth was, he didn’t know how to feel just yet. He hadn’t had the time to think about it, and he kept kneading Noah’s feet to try to bring himself some sense of reality.

“Yeah. Websites, social media accounts, all of it. If we’re going to pull off a huge tour like that for a relatively new band, you’re all going to have to get involved. We’ll figure it out, but we’ll definitely need a social media expert. For now, your job is just to get in on these … social media things, or whatever.”

Lester had no idea what he was talking about. That much was clear. He knew the need, but not anything about how to satisfy it. Darien shook his head, amused. Lester spoke like social media was some sort of huge, unknowable thing, stuck in an older time when there was no need for any of it.

“Okay,” Darien agreed. He could toss some stuff together, he supposed, though he wasn’t much good at that sort of thing. And it didn’t help that he still didn’t even know if he would be around for this tour. His mind kept going first one way and then another.

A tour. A big, national tour. If he did that, then he would be set. But the album was still months away from completion. They didn’t have even half of the songs that they would need, and Lester had said for at least a month or two that he would bring in a songwriter to get things going.

That was Lester, though. He was all about the grand, big picture, not so much with the little details that made the whole thing run, which was, if Darien thought about it, not such a good thing in a manager.

“Lester, I need to talk to you …” Darien started. “Soon.” And he was going to. He was going to have to decide whether to sign another contract or let it go and go back to being just another ordinary person. He knew that the rest of the Lost Boys hadn’t signed again, either, but unlike him, they all seemed to be pretty sure that they were going to sign again.

It was probably just that Lester thought that there was no way any of them could turn away from what he was offering. They were already famous locally, and well known throughout the rest of the United States. They were, really, a sensation, and what man could turn away from something like that?

Not to mention that it was a chance to do something which mattered, bring some representation to queer people. Darien had gotten so much fan mail saying as much, telling him that he had inspired them to come out. That was what the band had done, and that was the sort of thing which could change the world.

“I’m busy, Darien. We can talk later,” Lester said, and then abruptly, he hung up the phone, which was maybe for the best, because even Darien wasn’t sure what he was going to say. Bring up the contract, yes, he knew that much, but what would he tell Lester? Was he in or out?

Slowly, Darien lowered the phone and stared at it, though he didn’t see the brilliant, glowing screen at all. Noah’s feet withdrew from his lap, and he felt a small hand on his shoulder again, felt the weight of Noah’s gaze on him.

“What is it? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Noah commented, and Darien forced a smile to his lips as he turned to look at the other man. There was no sense in putting his own uncertainty onto other people, he figured. That wasn’t fair at all.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” he said, though that had to be the furthest thing from the truth. The opportunity to go nationwide, to play to crowds all over the country, was far from nothing. “Lester, my manager, he just wants us all to make social media accounts? Websites, maybe?”

Darien shook his head, fighting off the slight twinge of guilt that he felt. But what was the point in telling Noah about the tour, when he wasn’t even sure that he’d be going at all? Until he knew what he was going to do, there was no sense in bringing it up. Things between him and Noah felt pretty precariously balanced as it was.

Besides, he comforted himself, it’s not like he and Noah were dating. And this was an example of why it was a good reason to keep it that way. It was his decision to make, not Noah’s, not anyone else’s. And he suspected that, if they were together, he’d have to tell Noah things like that.

Too much responsibility. Who needed it? What they were doing was fine, more than fine. Friends with benefits. He could get behind that.

“Oh. That stuff is easy.” Noah got up, and Darien had a moment to admire his beautiful, slender body, skin so pale and so soft, like satin, before Noah found his underwear and modestly slid it on. Then he went to where he’d left his bag the night before, opened it up, and for one sad moment, Darien thought Noah was going to get new clothes, but instead, he pulled out a laptop.

It was a relief when Darien realized that Noah intended to help him. He was more knowledgeable than Lester, maybe, and he had a Facebook account, so it wasn’t like he was a complete idiot when it came to this stuff, but Noah had always been more technologically savvy than he was.

Noah brought the laptop over to the couch, and Darien tried hard not to focus on the smooth, graceful lines of his body, or how he moved that tight little body of his. He was like poetry in motion, his beauty so much more than just his face, as lovely as it was.

“Okay. So you’re going to want to hit all of the major ones,” Noah instructed as he opened his laptop and the screen lit up. “And I’ll get a basic website together.”

“How long will this take?” Darien asked, concerned. He had an appointment, and the other members of his band were so grumpy when he was late. Especially Aaron.

“Half an hour for something really basic,” Noah told him. “You can go shower if you want. I’ll get this started.”

That seemed like a good idea. It wasn’t like he was going to be much help, hovering over Noah’s shoulder. So he nodded, wandering off to the bathroom, with quite a lot on his mind.

He had no idea why Noah was even helping him. Did Noah just not care anymore if Darien stayed in the band or not? Once, Noah had begged Darien to stay, but that had been a long time ago.

Wasn’t it possible that Darien would be giving everything up for nothing? Not just possible, but likely? He groaned as he turned the water on until it steamed, and then stepped under the spray, letting the warmth soothe his muscles.

He didn’t want a relationship. Well, it seemed like Noah might not, either. So what point was there in giving up his new career? He would only be young for so long, and he had no illusions about the longevity of his career. He was in a boy band, and he would only be allowed to stay as long as he was young.

School would still be there later, right?

Nothing had been settled when he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around himself. And something was going to have to be figured out, soon. So far, Lester hadn’t asked him about his contract, but it was just a matter of time, and when it came up, Darien was going to need to know how to respond to it.

Wearing only the towel, Darien padded out of the bathroom, glancing over at the couch. Noah was deep in what he was doing, utterly focused, to the point where Darien was very aware that he wouldn’t be able to do anything to bring him out of it. When Noah got into his zone like this, he was nearly impossible to rouse.

Though Darien had some ideas, now that their relationship had turned sexual, he wouldn’t mind trying out …

He didn’t have the chance, though. By the time he was dressed and ready to go, Noah was sitting back, just looking at the screen, not typing anything. He even glanced up when Darien came into the room, beckoning him over.

“This is just the bare bones model. I’d need a little bit more time to really get something fleshed out, but this is the general idea,” Noah told him. Darien settled beside him on the plush couch, drawing his legs up and cuddling against Noah. Not that it meant anything. He just needed to see the screen, and so what if it felt good to be so close to him? That wasn’t a crime or anything, he was allowed to.

His eyes scanned the screen, and for once, he was without words. Noah was the one chattering away, completely in his element when it came to this sort of thing.

“I’ve got your Twitter handle, and Instagram, and your celebrity page set up on Facebook,” he informed Darien. “They’re all linked here, see?” Noah tabbed to a web page, something that looked more polished, more professional, and just plain more beautiful than most of the web pages out there.

“Noah!” Darien breathed, amazed. He had known that this man was talented, but he hadn’t seen the depths of it before. And Noah had done this all in, what, half an hour? People had called him the boy genius back in college, and Darien had always known it was true, but he hadn’t known the extent of it.

“I know, it’s basic. I could do a lot more if I had time.” Noah’s voice was earnest, and Darien searched his face as the barest hint, just a tiny germ, of an idea started to grow, to burrow into his brain.

“Come with me to practice,” Darien suddenly said. There was no way that he could just hog all of this talent for himself. Not when three other members of the band also needed all of this stuff for themselves.

“Why?” Noah asked, as well he might, but Darien just shot him a confident smirk. He definitely had something in mind, but he didn’t want to say anything until he knew for sure that it was possible.

“Just trust me? Come with me, and bring your laptop,” he directed, and Noah frowned. Trust. That was a huge word between the two of them, and in some ways, Darien knew it would be easier for Noah to grow wings and fly away than it would be for him to trust.

But in the end, Noah nodded, and slowly went off to get dressed, leaving Darien to stare in wonder at the screen of his laptop.