Claire sat outside Dr. Lee’s office and waited while Claire had her therapy session. It was Tuesday and she was thinking about tonight. Grayson was planning to leave Thursday morning. That gave them two more nights together before he left. They had talked about it and after their trip to San Francisco, they both wanted to just stay home and enjoy the quietness of each other’s company.

To distract herself, she was reading a novel by Isabella Quinn called Forgotten. Lost in the fictional world, she didn’t see the door open and Danielle come out.

“Mom?” Danielle said. “Dr. Lee wants you to come in.”

Claire closed her iPad as fear shot through her. “Is everything okay?” she asked as she gathered up her handbag. She thought Danielle was doing so well. She knew that Danielle’s relationship with Sam had cooled, but Danielle always had boyfriends who came and went. Her issue had never been related to that.

“I’ll wait out here,” Danielle said as Claire hurried into Dr. Lee’s office.

“Claire,” he said. “Sit down.”

“Is something wrong with Danielle?” she asked.

“No, no. Danielle is doing quite well,” he said. “It’s you I want to talk about.”

“Me? Why?”

“Danielle tells me your boyfriend is moving away soon.”

“Thursday,” she said.

“This is the same man who abandoned you in high school.”

“He didn’t abandon me exactly.”

“No, I understand,” he said. “It was all a misunderstanding. But it felt like abandonment.” He paused a moment. “For over twenty years.”

Claire took a deep breath.

Dr. Lee was right, of course. “We probably shouldn’t be talking about me,” she said.

“I know. It’s hard to talk about yourself.”

Claire laughed and shifted in her chair. She’d come here for Danielle. Now Dr. Lee was wanting to delve into her brain.

“I’m okay,” she said.

“I’m sure you are” he agreed. “I’m just wondering how you’re coping with all this.”

She pressed her hands together. “We’re still going to see each other.”

He nodded.

“I know. We planned to see each other last time, too, but we were kids. We weren’t in control of things that happened.”

“You feel in control now,” he said.

Claire shifted again. “No. Not really.”

“But you’re okay with him leaving.”

“I’m not okay with it. I just don’t have a choice.”

Dr. Lee nodded again. And waited. “You’re very brave,” he said.

“I’m not brave,” she said.

“You seem brave to me.”

“Do I?” she asked with a little laugh. “Because I’m not brave at all.”

“You do a good job of hiding your fear.”

She nodded. “I was trained to not show emotion.”

“That can be a good quality to have at times.”

“And not at others. I know.”

Dr. Lee sat quietly studying her. “Is there anything you’d like to discuss with me?”

Claire shook her head. “No, but I appreciate your concern.”

“Can I give you some unsolicited advice?”

“Of course.”

“Don’t keep it all bottled inside. Find a way to let yourself feel. Not all the time, just during a time that you choose. When you’re alone. I think you’ll find that you can cope much better if you let yourself feel emotions from time to time.”

Claire nodded. “I do. I do feel emotions with Grayson.”

“That’s good.” Dr. Lee took his glasses off. Claire had watched him enough with Danielle to know that it was a sign he had something significant he was about to say. “Have you found that you’ve been able to forgive him?”

“Yes,” she said.

“But do you sometimes have lingering doubts that maybe history is replaying itself all over again?”

“Yes,” she said. How had he known that? She hadn’t told anyone.

“That’s a difficult thing to get past.”

“It is. But it’s possible.” Claire wasn’t sure if she was telling him or asking him.

“It takes a lot of faith and a lot of strength. I admire you for being able to start over with someone who hurt you so much.”

“He didn’t hurt me on purpose.”

Dr. Lee smiled. “Again, I admire you for being willing to give Grayson a second chance. He’s a very lucky man. And I think I can safely say that Danielle likes him. She thinks he’d make a great stepfather.”

Claire laughed nervously. “That might be a little difficult living so far apart.”

Dr. Lee just nodded.

After Claire left Dr. Lee’s office, she turned to Danielle. “You told Dr. Lee about me and Grayson.”

“I tell him everything.”

“I see.”

“He’s really easy to talk to,” Danielle said.

“Uh huh.”

“I guess you have to get used to somebody getting into your business.”

“I think you’re right,” Claire admitted as they walked together down the hallway toward the door to the parking lot. “You know, I never told you, Danielle, but I really admire you for how you’ve opened yourself up this past year and let people help you get past those feelings of hopelessness that you were feeling.”

Danielle grinned. “Thanks. I admire you, too.”

“Why?” Claire asked.

“Why? For everything. You’re so successful. And you let Grayson come back into your life without even a hitch. I think that means you really love him.”

“I do love him,” she said, the admission warming her heart. Other than Grayson, she hadn’t told anyone else. Not even Danielle.

“No,” Danielle said, as they climbed into the car and closed the door. “I mean you must REALLY love him.”

Claire smiled. “I do.” Then she grew serious. “Does that bother you? I mean… Daddy.”

“Are you kidding? If you and Grayson get married, that means I would have the two most awesome dads ever.”

Claire sat quietly on her sofa, reading her novel as she waited for Grayson. She’d gotten used to their routine – dinner together every night. They didn’t even talk about it anymore. It was just understood. Instead, they talked about where they would eat or what they would cook. What they would watch on TV – a series like Game of Thrones or a movie.

Sometimes they just sat quietly and read.

It was going to be lonely without him here in the evenings.

When the doorbell rang, she went to answer it. He was earlier than usual.

When she opened the door and saw him standing there, leaning against the post, with one hand behind his back, her heart melted.

She held out her hand.

“What?” he asked.

She smiled, but kept her hand out.

He reached out and took her hand in his.

She laughed and reached behind his back, but he twisted away and laughed with her.

“I know you have it. I have eleven in the vase. So tonight makes twelve.”

“Uh oh,” he said, feigning horror. “I knew I was forgetting something.”

She reached behind him again, but this time, he let her grab the rose that she had known would be there.

“You’ve spoiled me,” she said.

“You think so?”

“Yes.”

“You haven’t seen anything yet."

“Is that so?” She took the rose inside and added it to the vase on the kitchen table. There were twelve now. He’d started bringing her one every night, excluding the time they’d spent in San Francisco. He’d even managed to make it work with them being out for two nights. It occurred to her that he must have been planning that trip longer than he’d let on.

Maybe he wasn’t as spontaneous as he led her to believe.

She turned and he was standing behind her. He swept her into a hug. She put her arms around him and her fingers dug into his shirt.

He backed away to study her face. “Are you still sore?” he asked.

“No,” she said. “But I’m thinking maybe I need to add cycling to my workout. So I’ll be ready next time for whatever you come up with. Marathons. Bike rides.”

“You never know,” he said.

“Nope. I never know.” She settled her head back against his chest and told herself he wasn’t gone yet. “So how far in advance do you plan these activities?”

“That, my lovely, is a secret I’ll never reveal.”

“Ah. Secretive and mysterious.”

“You’ll never be bored with me around,” he said, nuzzling at her ear. “What do you want to eat?” he asked.

“I thought we’d make a fried green tomato po’boy.”

He laughed. “That’s different.”

“I have them all the time for lunch with Danielle.” She bit her lip. “I’ve never made one though.”

“Do you have all the ingredients?”

“I’m always prepared,” she said.

“Okay,” he said, taking her hand and pulling her with him to the kitchen. “I’m starving.”

She laughed. “You’re always starving.”

“It’s true. You’ve found me out.”

Later that evening, Claire and Grayson were curled together on the couch like a couple of kittens. Charlie was there with them, coaxing Grayson to rub under his chin. He was getting bigger and Claire pointed out how big his little paws were getting.

“So…” Grayson said, “I don’t think you ever answered me.”

“Hmm. About what?”

“About having another child.”

“That’s not something that can be easily answered.”

“Danielle told me that Noah’s wife is expecting. You two are about the same age, aren’t you? And it’s her first.”

“I think she might be a little older. And, yes, Danielle told me that, too.”

“Well?”

“Our situations are different.”

“You’re so avoiding answering me,” he said, kissing her earlobe.

“Oh no. You’re leaving tomorrow.”

“What?” he asked innocently.

“We are so not going down that road again.”

“Don’t worry. When I ravish you, I don’t plan for us to leave the bed for a week.”

“A week, huh?”

“Yep. I just can’t decide between a cruise or holing up in a mountain cabin.”

“The cabin sounds nice. But it sounds like we’re gonna need room service. Besides, I’ve already done the whole honeymoon cruise thing. It’s overrated.”

“See there, I have you already planning our honeymoon.”

“You’re kinda sneaky, aren’t you? I didn’t know you were such a planner.”

“You have no idea how much work goes into being spontaneous,” he said.

“You’re right. It’s much easier to plan things.”

“Are you sure I can’t talk you into driving with me? We can stop off at the Grand Canyon and spend a couple of nights.”

“I thought you didn’t allow time for sight-seeing.”

“For you, I would be late.”

“Not a chance,” she said. “You’ll be fired before you even get there.”

“I’ve got until Monday.”

“You know I would, but I’ve got that fundraiser Saturday. It’s been planned for months.”

“And you’ve only known me for weeks,” he said.

“Yet somehow it seems like years,” she said.

They laughed, then sat quietly with the television playing a movie neither of them were watching.

“So, I’m thinking I’ll call you every night,” he said.

“Okay.”

Grayson didn’t want to leave. Once he walked out that the door, he ran the risk of destroying the fairytale life they’d created.

A year – even nine months – until next May was a long time.

So much could go wrong.

He may not be able to find a job back in L.A. He could live off his retirement from the military, but Claire would expect more out of him. He needed to have another career.

To be successful and make her proud.

Besides, he’d seen too many good men crash and burn after retirement. It was crucial for a man to keep working. He couldn’t risk ending up psychologically disabled.

But he had to leave. He had a long day of driving tomorrow.

He held her close. He would be back.

It’s a temporary separation.

He needed to believe that.

A long-distance relationship was one thing. A long-distance marriage was another thing entirely.

I’ll make it work.

He had to believe it.

“You should go,” she said, sitting up.

“I don’t want to.”

“Good. I don’t want you to either.” She stood up and tugged on his arm. “Come on.”

“I should have known you’d kick me out eventually.”

“It had to happen.”

“Come on,” she said again, “I’ll walk you to the door.”

At the door, they held on to each other as the seconds ticked past.

Until she nudged him again. “Go,” she said. “You need to be well rested. I don’t want to be the reason you fall asleep at the wheel.”

He kissed her softly. “I’ll see you soon,” he said. “my love.”

Her eyes were closed. Charlie meowed and stood up to put his front paws on Grayson’s jeans.

“He’s saying good-bye, too,” Claire said, picking up her kitten and holding him to her.

“Be safe,” she said.

Grayson turned and went out the front door. His eyes stung from unshed tears.

This was one of those thing in life that felt so very wrong.

He’d set a course for himself that he longer wanted to follow. But he had no choice. He had to honor his commitment.

A soldier followed through.

He listened until he heard the door lock and her alarm beep into place.

Then he went down the sidewalk, got into his car, and backed out of her driveway.

His heart ached. He needed to get this over with so he could get back to her.