CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
The time had come but Riley still didn’t have a brilliant idea about how to break the news about the baby. Once again she was questioning the wisdom of doing this. What if he denied that he was the father? She didn’t want a court battle and a DNA test. What if he blamed her and decided that she wanted money from him? Or worse, what if he wanted to be in the baby’s life and Riley had to see him with his gorgeous girlfriends all the time? Eventually he’d marry one and have a few children with her.
This attraction needed to run its course in the next five minutes. She’d spent far too long thinking about him and now she was pissed because he had an imaginary girlfriend who was going to become her baby’s stepmother.
“What do you need to tell me?” Sam prompted. “You’re pale. Are you sick?”
Not exactly, although her stomach was doing gymnastics in her abdomen. It wasn’t going to get any better by drawing this out, so she needed to do it before she lost her nerve. Screwing up every bit of courage she had, she took a deep breath.
“So…I’m pregnant.”
Sam blinked once. Twice. Three times.
“Pregnant?”
His question came out strained and the shock was clear on his face.
Riley nodded, her cheeks warm and her eyes teary. She couldn’t yet tell how he was taking the news. “Yes, I’m pregnant.”
“Congratulations. Who’s the father?”
Sam’s eyes appeared glassy and his skin was pale and covered in a sheen of sweat. The cooler than ice action hero who could face down death with a smile was freaking out right here in front of Riley. It would have been amusing to watch if she hadn’t been the reason it was happening.
“You. You’re the father, Sam.”
She hadn’t slept with Chad in a long time, but she and Sam had never discussed timelines. They’d never had to. Until now.
“Okay.” He nodded as if he understood but she had a feeling he didn’t. He did, however, look like he wanted to flee in a getaway car and then join the witness protection program.
Riley pushed his glass closer to him. “Maybe you should have another drink of your wine.”
“Good idea.”
He took a gulp but she could see that his hand was shaking slightly.
“You’re probably wondering how it happened.”
His head came up sharply and he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Yep, he was freaked out alright. She did have sympathy for his plight. She’d been the same when she’d found out. Even now, it didn’t quite seem real.
“My doctor said that condoms aren’t one hundred percent effective, and I wasn’t on the pill after Chad and I broke up. It makes me sick to my stomach so I don’t like taking it unless I have to.” She might as well talk since he couldn’t seem to. She’d been practicing this part although she wasn’t sure he was truly listening. “All there has to be is a tiny tear and you did open them with your teeth. Anyway, I think that’s how it happened.”
Sam appeared to be in some sort of daze and he still hadn’t responded. It looked like she needed to be the designated adult. Again.
Alrighty then.
“I want you to know that I don’t expect anything from you, Sam. You can be as involved as you like, or you can wash your hands of all of this. I won’t tell anyone that you’re the father but I’m sure the locals – and your mother – are going to figure it out. I’m guessing everyone is going to be doing math in their head when they find out my due date, but I promise you that I won’t tell if you don’t want me to. They can guess but I won’t confirm.” His color was coming back and he didn’t seem to be sweating as much. The wine must have helped. Or maybe it was that she’d told him she didn’t expect anything. He might simply be relieved. “Are you okay?”
Rubbing the back of his neck, Sam managed a rueful smile. “This is a…surprise. I’m still sort of trying to wrap my mind around it.”
“It takes time. I was gobsmacked too. It was the last thing I expected.” Her hand automatically went to her stomach. “But I want to keep the baby. I’ve always wanted to be a mother.”
Nodding in agreement, Sam stood and rounded the chair, leaning a hand on the fireplace mantle like it was a lifeline. “Of course, it’s your decision. I would support you no matter what.”
Riley had to make the difficult admission – if only to herself – that she had been hoping for more from Sam. She hadn’t expected him to jump for joy but…
Okay, maybe she had been hoping for that.
He was in shock and she had been too, so it wasn’t fair to compare his reaction to some pie in the sky fantasy that was driven by maternal hormones. They weren’t in love and they weren’t even a couple, so it would behoove her to keep this friendly and a little businesslike. Because that’s what it was going to end up being. If he wanted to be in the child’s life there would be a legal document that outlined a custody agreement and they would both sign on the dotted line. A parenting contract of sorts. Hopefully they could stay friends during all of this.
“I appreciate that,” Riley replied when she realized the silence had gone on too long. “Perhaps I should leave you to mull this over. I’ve had time to get used to the idea but you haven’t. You don’t need to make any life-changing decisions tonight.”
My life has already changed but you go right ahead and take your time.
“I do need to think about this. Frankly, I’m stunned. This was literally the last thing I thought you were going to tell me. I thought you were going to say–”
He broke off and didn’t finish the sentence. For a moment, Riley thought about asking him to continue but that would detour the conversation and they needed to stay focused.
“It’s a big decision,” Riley agreed with a small smile, standing and hitching her purse strap over her shoulder. “I’ll head home now. I’m so tired these days I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. Maybe we can talk more tomorrow.”
“Let’s do that.” Sam walked her to the front door and then placed his hand on her arm when she would have walked past him. Her skin tingled where he touched it, warming from the contact. That was the one thing she’d missed since finding out. There had been no hugs of congratulations, no celebratory kisses. She was missing human contact. “Wait…does anyone else know? Tara? Your family? My mother?”
As far as family went, they were close but they didn’t intrude in each other’s lives. She talked to her parents every couple of weeks and her siblings less so, but they exchanged photos through email or social media. This was going to take them by surprise.
“I haven’t said anything to anyone because I wasn’t sure what to say. They’re going to have questions and I think we need to decide on many of those answers together. Also, I was reading that the chance of miscarriage goes way down after the eleventh week, so I was thinking that perhaps we wouldn’t want to tell too many people before then.”
That color that had come back into his face completely drained again, his skin ashen. In a matter of seconds he’d gone cold and gray, his features carved from granite.
“We’ll talk tomorrow.”
She’d been dismissed. Clearly the thought of sharing the news with family and friends bothered him.
“If you like I’ll pick you up in the morning and we can go get Paula from the hospital.”
He was already a million miles away, barely paying attention. Wherever he’d gone off to wasn’t a pleasant place.
“That’s fine. I’ll see you then.”
There wasn’t anything left to say so Riley walked to her car and climbed inside, the scent from his aftershave still hanging in the air. It was a reminder she didn’t need at the moment.
As she drove away, she glanced in her rearview mirror but he’d already gone back inside and closed the door. Sam certainly had acted strangely tonight but perhaps not. She’d never told anyone they were going to be a father before, so his behavior might be totally normal for all she knew. He just seemed…disturbed. A couple of times he’d looked like he might pass out or at least puke.
Cut him some slack. He’s had the shock of his life.
She would do that. For awhile. But eventually he’d need to man up and deal with the situation.
He was either in or out. Which was it going to be?