CHAPTER TWO
Sam had listened to his mother’s explanation, but he needed a few clarifications. This wasn’t a run of the mill request like fishing out the Tupperware container from the back of the fridge where it had sat for the last six months growing fuzzy and disgusting. This was far different.
“Let me get this straight,” Sam said, watching Paula’s expression closely. He was still in some sort of shock. “You want me to pretend to be some woman’s boyfriend because some guy dumped her for her best friend and they’re getting married? Does that sum this situation up?”
She nodded eagerly. “That’s right. Riley is such a sweet young woman and that man is such a douche bag. She needs to get a little revenge and you’re perfect to help her deliver it.”
“Mom, do you even know what a douche bag is?”
He’d had his mouth rinsed out with soap in his youth and now his own mother was dropping insults like a foul-mouthed comedienne?
“Do you?” she shot back with a sigh of exasperation. “Because if you did you wouldn’t be asking that question of a female. Really, son, I thought I taught you better than that.”
He felt his cheeks go warm as he realized what he’d asked. Of course, she would know what one was in reality, but did she know what one was in the insulting sense?
“Okay, okay.” He held up his hands in surrender. “It’s just that you normally are careful not to insult people, but suddenly this guy is a douchebag.”
“Fine, he’s an asshole. Is that better? And I most certainly do have things to say about people but you’re rarely here to hear them. Maybe if you visited more often…”
Cue the guilt. He should have known it was coming. He’d had a busy year and hadn’t seen her as much as he’d hoped.
“You’re right, I’m a terrible son and you have a mouth like a sailor on a three-day pass. Happy now?”
Paula smiled sweetly. “Ecstatic. Now are you going to do it?”
Sam could deny his mother very little so he was probably going to eventually say yes, although he thought it was a terrible idea. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t make Paula work for it a little bit more, especially after the guilt trip she’d just packed his bags for.
“Let me ask you a question. Is this her idea or yours?”
His mother was already shaking her head. “Completely mine. Riley has no idea at all. In fact, she’d be mortified if she knew I was asking you. We might have to convince her to go along with it. She has her pride, after all.”
That was good. This wasn’t some harebrained scheme put into his mother’s head by a woman that wanted to get closer to him. Point in this Riley person’s favor.
“She was dating the douchebag, I assume?”
“She was, and although I didn’t think much of him I never said anything to her because she seemed happy. But between you and me I never thought he was good enough for her. Too smug and a little too arrogant. Born into money and thought he was a big wheel, yet I don’t think he ever worked an honest day in his life.”
That was a major issue with Paula Collins. When Sam had gained some notoriety as an actor he’d had to bring her out to the set so she could see that he actually worked and worked hard. She had thought that it was all champagne and caviar.
“And he cheated on her with her best friend?”
Not much of a best friend, though. She needed to up her standards in friendship. Way up.
“Yes, and now they’re engaged. Riley has been invited to the engagement party this weekend. I’m sure it’s just so they can rub her nose in it, that Monica is a real bitch now that she’s caught a man that can handle her expensive tastes. I think she was just using Riley to get to Chad.”
Rubbing his chin, Sam had to concede that the story was messy and gossip-worthy. Just the way his mother liked them.
“And you know Riley from school?”
Paula had been an elementary school teacher before she retired and even now she volunteered, helping kids learn to read when they were struggling.
“She teaches kindergarten and she’s the sweetest thing. Please say you’ll help her, Sam. She didn’t deserve this to happen to her.” His mother wasn’t going to give up. “It’s just a week or so out of your life. You’ll take her on a few dates and go to the party, act like she’s the most beautiful woman on the planet, and then she can tell people that it just didn’t work out because of the long distance. Please? You said that fake relationships don’t bother you.”
Of course Paula had caught him with his own words. He had said that and he did believe it. It wasn’t a big deal. He’d kissed actresses that he barely knew. It was all part of the job and it wasn’t personal. This would be fine too, but what if Riley forgot the rules? What if she tried to make it personal? That would be a mess.
Paula also hadn’t mentioned what Riley looked like, which was a huge hint that perhaps the young woman in question might be a little…plain. When described as the sweetest thing, that didn’t bode well for the beauty department. Not that a woman had to be gorgeous for him to be interested. She didn’t. He liked brains and a sense of humor more than anything, but somehow he usually ended up with a looker, too. Beauty was all too common in Hollywood. Brains and a good sense of humor were in short supply, sadly. Common sense was practically an endangered species.
His mother was waiting for him to respond, a hopeful and knowing smile on her face. He was fooling himself if he thought for one moment that he wasn’t going to say yes. When was the last time he’d done that? He couldn’t remember it had been so long. If ever. But he didn’t have to make it an unconditional surrender.
“Have you really thought this through, Mom? If she’s seen with me, her picture is probably going to go up on social media. She won’t have much privacy.”
“She doesn’t now,” Paula shot back. “This is a small town, remember? Everyone knows everyone else’s business. They all know what happened with Captain Douchebag and of course they’ll see you two together. That’s the whole plan.”
His mother wasn’t seeing the bigger picture.
“Is part of the plan for her face to be plastered all over Twitter and Instagram? Because it will be. I can’t control if other people take our picture and post it. I also can’t control what the press writes about me.”
That last part wasn’t completely true. His publicist had some power but getting photos or stories pulled down always had a price and it usually consisted of Sam giving the media outlet some sort of exclusive content.
“I’ll warn her, but I doubt she’d be worried about that. A few pictures and then everything will blow over in time. If it were more than a week I might be more concerned.”
No one cared about publicity until it was their face splashed across a tabloid with a lurid headline. If this woman had a lick of sense she’d run far away from one of Paula Collins’s outlandish ideas.
Clearly, he was dumb as a bag of hammers.
“I’ll talk to this Riley,” he conceded. “If she’s amenable to the plan and understands that it is strictly business then I’ll do it.”
Paula’s face lit up and she clapped her hands together with glee.
“But,” he warned, holding up a finger of caution. “If she thinks that this is anything more than a charade I won’t do it. I won’t play with her emotions that way, Mom. It wouldn’t be fair to her.”
Paula rolled her eyes. “Samuel Christopher, you’re starting to read your own press. You think every woman in the world wants you. Riley’s far too level-headed and down to earth to have her head turned by a little charm and romance from you.”
Level-headed and down to earth? She didn’t sound all that exciting. But that was honestly for the best.
He could only hope that Riley hated his guts and found him physically repellant.