CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
They saw a couple more houses in the afternoon. One, a beautiful Georgian property, would have been a possibility, except the agent had neglected to mention the solar energy farm that covered the hillside opposite. Nikolas had taken one look, told the agent he didn’t want to live in a Jane Austen apocalypse, and left. The second was also good, except here they discovered the land that came with the house…didn’t; it was separated by a busy ring road. Nikolas had stood with his arms folded, watching the traffic tear past the front of the house, and Ben had been wise enough not to comment at all. When Nik climbed back in, he glanced at the satnav and said brusquely, “Put the hotel in. I have had enough.”
Ben did as he was asked and then began once more to wind around narrow country lanes, one eye on the road and one on the small screen of directions. “Maybe we should look somewhere else. I don’t know—maybe Wales? Great mountains. Trust me, I know every inch of fucking Snowdonia.”
Nikolas smiled. “I first saw you in Wales.”
Ben frowned. “No, you didn’t. I came up to that interview in London, remember?”
Nikolas shook his head. “Sennybridge. You were on an escape and evasion exercise. Dear Leader was under pressure from our American cousins to fall in line with their new torture protocols and wanted to know what the SAS resistance to interrogation training contained.”
“You were there?”
“I was.”
“I didn’t see you.”
“No. You were the one being tor—interrogated. I think you had other things on your mind.”
“You were in the observation room?”
“Yes.”
“Fucking hell. And then you headhunted me for the department?”
“Well, you seemed eminently suitable.”
“I was good at resisting. I didn’t tell them a damn thing.”
“That is not precisely what I meant—many other of your colleagues resisted as well.”
“Then why me?”
Nikolas tried to repress a smile. “Do you really need to ask, Ben? You were naked, being—as your interrogators put it—fucked over, and I was utterly lost. I fell, as if finally falling to earth from a great distance. It was very disturbing, actually.” He was lost in thought for a moment. “Anyway, I remember that my brief to Dear Leader later that day was not one of my most coherent.”
“Why do you never tell me these things?”
“I just have. Besides, I have a mission to prevent you from becoming any more vain and annoying than you already are. With great power comes—Did you actually just hit me?” He was laughing and caught Ben’s hand, beginning to twist the wrist.
Ben took his eyes off the road. “Hey, no fair, I’m driving.”
“I could take you at any time, even if you were not driving.”
Ben gave him an incredulous look, his eyes flicking between the road and Nikolas’s smug expression. “In a fight? You’d beat me? In your dreams, mate.”
“Oh, trust me, I do sometimes dream of beating you down, and I am not even asleep.”
“Seriously. You think you could best me in a fight?”
“I am only surprised that you doubt it.”
“Bloody hell. This is ridiculous.”
“Unfortunately, we will never put it to the test. The damage would be irreversible, maybe. Come, concentrate on your driving. This is a very expensive vehicle, and you are a very erratic driver.”
Ben’s head was reeling. He never seemed to catch up. He risked a very brief glance at Nikolas to see if he was being had but, as usual, could tell nothing from the calm, neutral expression.
They arrived at the country hotel on the fringes of Dartmoor just after tea. It had a shabby elegance about it they both liked. Nikolas had booked two rooms for form’s sake, but Ben didn’t even bother finding his, he just flung himself on the bed in Nikolas’s. He watched Nikolas as he went to the window to look out over the grounds.
“Did you pack any painkillers?”
“Huh? Why?”
Nikolas gave him a look. “Because I am in pain. You bit me, Benjamin, and it hurts still.”
Ben managed to look contrite. “In the side pocket of my bag.” He lay back, outwardly contemplating the ceiling, but in reality remembering the taste and feel of Nikolas’s skin between his teeth and the intense pleasure of making Nikolas wince and, for once, not be so bloody superior. Take me? As if…He heard water running in the bathroom. Nik came out removing his suit jacket and tie. He began to unbutton his shirt, wandering back into the bathroom. Suddenly, there was an uncharacteristically outraged yell. “Kusse! Come here!”
Ben debated making a dash for his own room but sighed and went into the spacious bathroom. “Oh, Jesus.” He went up to Nikolas’s back and stroked his thumb very gently over the livid bite mark now surrounded by yellow and deep purple bruised flesh. He put his lips to the bite and kissed it gently. Nikolas jerked away, staring down at his ruined, bloody shirt. “You will pay for this.” Ben wasn’t sure if he meant literally or metaphorically. Both, probably, given his luck. “This is not funny anymore, Benjamin. You bite me one more time, and we will maybe find out which of us is stronger. Do you understand me?”
Ben nodded, unconcerned. “Those pills working yet?”
“Do I sound as if they were?”
“You are such a baby it’s hard to tell. Wait here.” He went out to his bag and rummaged in the side pocket. “Where did you put them?”
Nikolas wandered out, dressed in just his suit trousers, still holding his shirt, which he dropped on the bed. He opened Ben’s bag and pulled out the box of pills.
“Oh.”
Instantly, Nikolas’s gaze snapped up. “What? Why oh?”
“Those are…They’re Radulf’s…His…worm pills.”
He’d never seen Nikolas’s calm, elegant mask fall so quickly before. It just shattered. He said something vicious in Danish again and spun on his heel heading to the bathroom, where Ben heard retching and then vomiting. That wasn’t like Nikolas either. Most of the time Ben actually doubted the man had bodily functions. Ben debated going in and explaining they were pills for worms and not, as the name implied, pills with worms in them, but he decided against it. Eventually, Nikolas came out and lay prone on the bed. He was still wearing his suit trousers and shoes. Ben approached cautiously.
“Go away. If you have any pity for me, just go away and ruin someone else’s life.”
He sat down and began to stroke his fingers through Nik’s blond hair. “Sorry.”
Nikolas let him stroke his hair for a while then said more calmly, “I should have read the packet. That part was not your fault.”
“Look on the bright side, at least you won’t have worms.”
“Thank you.”
Ben began to undress him fully, pulling off his shoes, reaching beneath to unbuckle his belt and ease his trousers down and off. He ripped off his own clothes and threw them in a heap on the floor. Very slowly and carefully, he turned Nikolas over, staring at the long, lean body. He scratched his fingernail over the shape of Nikolas’s cock concealed under the black shorts. It twitched. He did it again then circled the hidden tip with his thumb, feeling the material dampen. Lowering his mouth to the dampness, he increased it, sucking gently until all beneath his mouth was hard and straining. Nikolas was arched, eyes closed, clearly enjoying the experience. He put a hand to Ben’s head, running his fingers through the long black strands, not forcing him at all, but just connecting them in another way. Ben opened the buttons on the shorts and released the cock, letting it lie hard over the waistband, admiring the flushed, leaking hole first then pushing his tongue into it. Nikolas groaned and did try to press Ben’s head lower, his arousal now very evident, a stream of pre-cum running down the glistening, swollen cockhead. Ben smirked then slid off the bed. He knelt on the floor. Nikolas stood, puzzled. Ben lifted his head. “You can’t make me talk.”
He saw the eyes widen. Nikolas understood. He remembered. He looked at him for a very long time, staring down into Ben’s eyes. Very deliberately, he picked up his silk tie from the floor, running it through his hands as he moved around to stand behind Ben. “Give me your hands.” Ben hesitated for a moment—he couldn’t help it—but then he put them back. Nikolas bound them with the tie. He came back to stand in front of Ben. His cock was jutting out parallel to the floor, twitching up occasionally at the sight of Ben bound and kneeling in front of him. He tipped his head to one side, regarding his prisoner, and then plucked the bloodstained shirt off the bed, tearing a long strip. This he bound around Ben’s eyes.
Ben had been blindfolded many times, but it never ceased to have an instant, debilitating effect, just for a moment, until his training took over. For that moment, all he could feel was his nakedness, his helplessness. He sensed Nikolas moving around him and turned to follow the movement. He got a slap on the side of the head for his efforts—not hard, but hard enough. “Face front.”
Ben did, but when he heard a click that sounded suspiciously like a phone camera, he twisted his neck around again, about to complain. He got another slap. This one wasn’t so light. “I said face front.”
“That. Hurt.”
He sensed Nikolas behind him then felt teeth on the fleshy muscle of his shoulder. It wasn’t nearly so much fun to be on the receiving end of a bite, and he tensed. “Want to know hurt, Ben? Want to know what it feels like to be bitten?” Ben flinched. Nikolas laughed and moved away, just the feel of light touch left where he’d licked instead of bitten. “Maybe I taste something else, hmm?” Ben tried to hear where he was, but then knew when his cock was sucked into a tight, wet mouth.
“Oh, God!”
He got an even harder slap. “I did not give you permission to speak.”
His head was ringing; he was disorientated. But he was also desperately aroused and needed to come. He could feel pre-cum leaking out and trickling down his cock, tickling and driving him insane. “Please, Nik!”
There was a chuckle. “That did not take long. So much for resistance.”
“Fuck you! Please…Just…”
“Just what? What did you like best? This?” The mouth came down again on his shoulder—and Nikolas did bite. Not hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough for Ben to hiss with pain. “Oh, not that. Maybe this?” The lightest touch of a finger landed on his cockhead and swirled around.
If his hands had been free, nothing would have kept Ben from forcing Nikolas to do something more, but they weren’t, and it was agony. He tried to strain up, pushing his groin high toward the touch. “Please! I’ll beg if that’s what you want! Please…” He heard the click of the camera again. “Hey! Fuck you, you bastard!”
The expected blow made him fall face first toward the carpet, but Nikolas caught him and pulled him back upright. “What did I say?”
Ben stayed silent.
Nikolas chuckled again. “Good boy.” Very slowly and deliberately, he put pressure on the back of Ben’s head until Ben’s forehead was on the floor, his hips raised, his cheeks spread. Nikolas took hold of the tie around his bound hands and used it like a rein to ride the helpless figure beneath him. Ben swallowed to the pain that always flared at this intrusion. It was more intense this time, the game just real enough to make this a rape as much as it was consensual. He hissed slightly and tried to change position. Nikolas pulled out, and the shock of suddenly being empty made Ben cry out and beg once more. Then a mouth closed over his aching emptiness. That was new. Nikolas had licked and played with most of his body, but not there—yet. Ben felt hands parting his cheeks and a tongue rasp over his hole. He felt like screaming. He didn’t know if begging would get him reward or punishment—or exactly what the difference between those was anymore. He risked a low, heartfelt moan, “Nik, just fuck me, yeah?”
Nikolas lifted his mouth from Ben’s hole and then bit him hard on one arse cheek. Ben yelled in shock and fury, and on that shout, Nikolas thrust back in, the invasion brutal. With a few well-placed strokes, he found the spot inside Ben that made it all worthwhile. Ben tried to rise to the incredible pleasure, but Nikolas held him down, forehead to the ground, arms pulled back straight as he thrust in and out, working himself deep inside Ben’s tight body. Ben’s cock was aching for touch. He couldn’t come without it, and he desperately needed to now. He tried to rub his erection on the floor but was hauled back up and given a slap on his backside for his disobedience. And then he felt a change in the rhythm of the hard fucking. Nikolas stilled, leaning heavily over his back and groaning very softly. A delicious wash of warm, easing fluid filled Ben’s raw hole. Nikolas withdrew.
Once more he heard a camera. That was too much! “No!” He rolled onto his back and neatly brought his legs through his tied hands so his wrists were now fastened in front of him. He was about to remove the blindfold when he felt Nikolas straddling him, pinning his hands down. Then, to his intense relief, a hand began to work on his swollen cock. He sensed breath on his lips, and Nikolas kissed him. He opened his mouth and took Nikolas in, their tongues meeting in a familiar dance of desire.
As Nikolas played with Ben’s mouth, he eased himself up and onto the long, hard cock he’d been preparing with his hand. Ben cried out with pleasure, felt hands on his face and then the blindfold removed. He blinked and moaned into the kissing, lifting his hips to fuck Nikolas, even though he was the one helpless beneath. Nikolas brushed their lips together, smiling. He stroked his thumb over Ben’s cheekbone, staring into his eyes, the pupils wide from the darkness of the blindfold. Ben brought his bound arms up and slid them over Nikolas’s neck and then, bound together, he used his phenomenally strong abdominal muscles to ram and thrust until he came in a shiver of deep release into Nikolas’s body. Fully used, Nikolas draped boneless upon him. Ben vaguely remembered closing his eyes, and then they were both asleep, exhausted from the various rigours of the day—some more pleasurable than others.
§§§
Ben only woke when the circulation in his hands felt threatened. He jolted awake from dreaming about food and realised his hands hurt and he was starving again. When he’d processed both these, he realised Nikolas was fast asleep and stretched out on top of him still, as far as Ben could feel, embedded on his cock. He wasn’t sure, it was all pretty numb down there. He twitched and grunted softly. “Hey, wake up.”
Nikolas breathed deeply once but didn’t stir. Ben lay back, working on the silk knot. He’d have the tie off soon. Nikolas shifted slightly but remained asleep. Ben was suddenly aware of how light the other man was—considering he was as tall as Ben. He knew Nikolas was considerably thinner than he was, and he hadn’t been joking about the bones bruising him. He could feel a hipbone now, jutting into him. Nikolas was all sinew and cord, tendon and bone. But then he hardly ever ate. As far as Ben could see, Nikolas survived entirely on a diet of caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, and semen. It wasn’t healthy. Ben finally got his hands loose and shook them to regain circulation. The movement finally woke Nikolas, but he was still for a moment, assessing his surroundings before he appeared to deem them safe, then he stretched, yawned, and prepared to go back to sleep. Ben rolled him off and propped himself up on one elbow, staring down at him. They were pretty messed up—bruised, bleeding, and covered in come. Nik had never looked more desirable to him. Ben leaned in, kissing Nikolas fully awake. They kissed for a long time, no words needed. Finally, though, Ben’s stomach betrayed him, and he could ignore imminent starvation no longer. He eased them apart. “I’m gonna order room service.”
Nikolas nodded and stood up fluidly, offering Ben his hand, which he took gratefully. Before he released the fingers, Nikolas said softly, “Do not tempt me to play that game too often—for your sake. It makes me lose myself. I would not ever want to really hurt you.”
Ben shivered slightly as if a ghost had brushed past his naked body, but he nodded and watched Nikolas walk into the bathroom and shut the door. He had the oddest thought that he may finally have found one of the less cerebral games Nikolas had been taught to play in prison.
§§§
Ben ordered for four because death was imminent, and he couldn’t decide what he wanted. When it arrived, he was in the shower, so when he emerged dressed in old jeans and a favourite T-shirt, it was laid out on the table by the window. Nikolas was also dressed in jeans and one of Ben’s old T-shirts, but he was lying on the bed, watching the news. Ben sat down. “Come on, food’ll get cold.”
“Hmm.”
“Nik, come eat.”
“I am watching Dear Leader. When you see him on the television, he almost appears intelligent. It is a rather interesting trick.”
“Nik, now, or I’ll come there and fetch you.”
Nikolas reluctantly rose from the bed like a sleek cat, all grace and elegant lines, despite his rigorous day and few hours of sleeping on the floor. Ben began on a burger and pushed the seafood platter he’d ordered for Nikolas across the table for him. Nikolas picked up his fork but, once more, prawns and squid and crab were rearranged in intricate patterns rather than actually eaten. Ben laid down his burger. It must have been a rare occurrence because Nik looked up, obviously worried. “What’s wrong?”
Ben pointed at the salad. “Eat it. And I’m not fucking around here. You eat all of that, or I swear I will find my own room tonight and you can sleep alone.”
“You would not. Do not make idle threats, child.”
Ben placed a hand on Nikolas’s wrist. “You eat that and the pudding and then drink the fucking coffee, or I’m sleeping in my own room—and not just tonight, Nik. Every night from now on. Look at me, and tell me if you think I’m bluffing.”
Nikolas regarded him for a while, his eyes narrowed, his lips pursed. “I am not hungry.”
Ben shook his head. “I’m counting to ten, and then if you’re not eating, I’m leaving.”
Nikolas pushed it out to eight but then began to eat. Ben noted he started with some tiny bean sprout thing, but it was a start. His own food forgotten, he watched Nikolas eat everything on the plate—except a tiny squid, which still had its eyes, and which Nikolas utterly refused to put in his mouth. Ben took pity on him and let him leave it. Nikolas rose from the table and threw his napkin down angrily, returning to the bed to watch television. As he never watched television, except for the news, Ben knew he was furious. He stood, picked a pudding up from the selection, and approached the bed.
Nikolas clenched his jaw. “Do not even try it, Ben. I am too angry with you to speak—let alone eat.”
Ben slid across his lap, straddling him and produced the pudding from behind his back, a dark chocolate tart. He picked up the fork, broke some tart off then slid it between his own lips. It was like falling into heaven. Very slowly, keeping Nikolas’s furious gaze, he bent forward to kiss him. Nikolas frowned, didn’t seem sure what to do, but received the kiss automatically.
Ben tongued the melting chocolate across into Nikolas’s mouth.
For one awful moment, he thought he’d blown it badly—someone who didn’t want to eat didn’t usually want to eat second-hand from someone else’s mouth. Nikolas seemed frozen in horror, but then he swallowed. His tongue flicked out to lick around Ben’s mouth, and then they were entirely lost once more to their endless passion for each other. Ben laughed into the kisses and fed Nikolas another piece of pie, more conventionally off the fork, but it was eaten as well.
Finally, the food was gone. Nikolas flung his arm over his face and groaned theatrically. “I am going to be sick.”
Ben nodded unsympathetically. “I’d only make you eat it up again, so I advise you to concentrate on keeping it down.”
“I think I might ban you from this room anyway.”
“I’ll go if you want.” A hand shot out and pulled him down to lie on the bed next to him. They lay in companionable silence for a while. “Food is good, Nik. It’s like sex; it’s just pleasure, and there’s no sin in enjoying it.”
“You know nothing, Ben. Food is a weapon to be used by those who have power against those who do not. This has been my—The story throughout history. But I have no desire to explain myself to you tonight. I am…what expression would you use, let me think…ah, yes, I am totally fucked, so please let me lie here in peace.” Ben began to stroke gently over the smooth skin under Nikolas’s T-shirt, rubbing his almost concave belly.
“This going to disturb your peace?”
Nikolas smiled. “No.”
Ben continued to stroke in slow repetitive circles until Nikolas was asleep, then he crawled carefully from the bed, went to the table, and practically ate the plates as well he was so famished. To him, food was fuel. He used it up at a burning rate, his body hard and lean and bursting with life and vitality. He gave a small smile of satisfaction when he thought of the food now fuelling Nikolas’s body—and only a few hours to go until breakfast when it could all begin again.