Nerves have my heart racing as another letter is in my mail box from Killian. Feeling eyes on me, I look around to see Neil watching me from his window. Ever since my last rejection he’s been strange. And not in a good way.
He’s gotten creepier, he watches from his window whenever I come home from work or leave. It’s to the point where I try not to leave the house at all. I can always feel his gaze on me. Burning a hole through me as he watches every move I make. I can’t handle much more of this.
Closing all the curtains and checking all the locks around my small house, I still don’t feel satisfied that he can’t see me.
Dismissing him from my mind I grab the box of letters from Killian, and the new one off the table and make my way to the back of the house where my bedroom is.
Slipping out of my clothes, I grab a black teddy from my dresser that was given to me as a gag gift. After the past few days of dealing with parent-teacher conferences and Neil being creepy, I need to feel sexy without feeling dirty about it.
Once settled in bed I bring the envelope to my nose and breathe it in, imagining he’s sitting here next to me, and not thousands of miles away.
Sweet Jersey girl,
Gotta say, it’s way fucking better than you led me to believe it would be. After seeing your gorgeous picture, I think Jersey suits you perfectly. And I’m sure your folks weren’t trying to torment you.
Tell me about this fool who thinks he can mess with you? Does he know you got a man? I’ll be all too happy to whoop his ass when I get home. Especially, if he tries to up his game. The moron obviously needs a lesson in manners.
Not a lot interesting has happened, or at least it’s not interesting to me. The day I got your last letter there was a rebel attack on government troops for hostile attacks on the villages. We go in after and it’s not pretty. For the first time since you started writing to me, I didn’t immediately open your letter. I needed to decompress the rage blasting through my system. I felt like if I didn’t I would somehow taint it.
Not exactly sounding like some badass soldier boy now, am I?
We offer refuge and medical aid to those who need it, and tonight one of my younger privates had to come to me for guidance. I hope I gave him what he needed. He has promise and after his contract is up, I think he’ll re-enlist. He’s going to be one of those men who make a difference in this shitty fucking world. He’ll do good where and when he’s needed.
I dream of you Jersey, every night I go to bed with you on my mind. Your letters under my pillow. Your picture pinned up beside my bunk.
I dream of the day I’ll get to hold you in my arms for real. It may be too soon, or too intense, but Jersey you’re the light in my dark world right now. You wrote to me at the right time, I think. Do you believe in fate? I sometimes feel like you were sent to me.
My commitment to the Navy is just about up and until now I didn’t really have any idea what I was going to do when I got home. I had nothing to go back to and with you, I feel like I do.
I’m coming home in three short months Jersey, and I’d give the world to have you waiting for me when I step onto that tarmac.
Yours,
Killian
P.S. I hope the pictures okay.
P.P.S. I only shared those oatmeal cookies with Gage because you asked me to. Cut that shit out. Anything you make is mine, anything involving you is mine.
“Mercy,” I fan my face with the envelope his letter had come in. Completely surprised and unprepared for the things he’d said at the end. Perhaps it was the situation they had been in, he’d needed to feel alive and I was an outlet for that in a way.
I must admit he gave me the chills though. Knowing he was feeling the same things I am, it’s such a relief. I don’t know what it is about this connection but I feel more for him than I have any other man.
It could be because we have nothing physical, we’re getting to know one another as people rather than sexual beings. I can’t say I really care when all I want is to be in his arms.
Laying back in the bed, I place his letter in my special box, all thoughts of Neil’s creepiness has fled my mind as I fall asleep to the idea of being in Killian’s arms.