Work progressed smoothly, easily. Drafts were sealed over one by one. Temperature regulation in the garage was easier and more efficient than ever before, and many members of the pack had already started commenting on how much more comfortable they were.

Lucas would often be working with, or supervising, the team of construction workers he had recommended Destiny hire. Destiny occasionally came down to get a look at what was being done, to see if there were any hitches in the operation which needed to be smoothed out. Pack members would come over and thank Destiny, as if he was the one doing all the hard work, as if this was his expertise. Sure, it was his money, but he wasn’t the one patching up all these gaps.

Lucas didn’t mind so much for himself. He liked being a little more behind the scenes, pulling strings like a puppeteer. He needed no real verbal rewards for his own work because he could take a step back and see his own progress.

However, for the other men, he wished they got more credit. Their job wasn’t as simple as smacking things with hammers. There was a great deal of planning required, with a heavy dose of mathematics and chemistry.

He thanked them on his own at the end of every day he worked with them, hoping he could at least make up a little bit for the lack of praise and appreciation.

Less than two weeks went by, and all the major draft spots had been fixed up. There would be a short break as Lucas and Destiny prepared for the next part of the renovations.

Lucas wouldn’t have admitted this aloud to anyone, and he hardly wanted to admit it to himself, but he was really hoping he could use that break to spend more time with Austin. Each time they managed to see each other, whether it was a real date or just a quick meeting for lunch and dinner, it was like they clicked more and more. Things were far better than they had been last time. They were finishing each other’s sentences, teasing each other, flirting in public. The only time they didn’t hold hands was when they absolutely couldn’t. Even when they were eating, they were constantly touching.

He had just finished up another day at work when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He reached for it automatically and was already sliding his thumb across the screen, an automatic gesture, when he realized this wasn’t the most polite time to be checking his texts.

“Sorry,” he said,

“Don’t apologize,” Destiny said, laughing a little. “The way you went for that, it was like you’d been waiting for it to happen. Should we cut this short?”

Lucas looked at his phone, where a message from Austin was waiting for him. Then, he shook his head and put the phone back in his pocket. “No. It can wait.”

“So can this.” Destiny shrugged a little. “We don’t have anything much to talk about until tomorrow. If you wanted to skip out on me, I wouldn’t say no. You deserve a break, what with all the work you’ve been doing.”

“I think Peter and his men would say they’ve been doing most of the work.”

Now Destiny shook his head. His eyes went sharp and intense, and Lucas had to resist the urge to step back a little bit. “That’s not what I meant. You’re the one organizing all this. You’ve got a dozen different things going on, and you still manage to pull your own weight as far as the physical work.”

“You do stuff like this all the time,” Lucas protested. “And you’ve got a mate and a kid. What I’m doing isn’t that special.”

“Yes, it is. Because you aren’t used to doing it.” Destiny held up one hand, as if to cut off a protest that wasn’t actually coming. “I’m not saying that because you’re an omega. That plays less of a part in things than other wolves might think. I’m saying, I’ve been a leader pretty much since I was born. I’ve always been the bossy one. This was a natural progression for me. But you’re working hard at it, and despite all the odds, you’re doing it.” The pack leader frowned a little, mentally retracing what he had said. “I didn’t mean that in a condescending way. I just wanted to let you know that you’re doing very well, and we’re all proud of you.”

Grateful tears sprang up into Lucas' eyes. He blinked them away. “Thank you, Dusty. That really, really means a lot to me.”

Destiny turned and walked a short distance to a nearby window. Windows were on the list of things to take care of, though they were very far down in chronological order because they were frivolous, not nearly as important as many other things which needed taking care of.

Looking out at the city lights, the road which passed by their garage as if it didn’t exist, Destiny spoke in a low, contemplative voice. “I say this as your pack leader, but also just as someone who knows you. I didn’t expect much from you when you first joined us.”

Lucas remembered that day, and his own awkwardness still haunted him. He hadn’t even owned a motorcycle. He had known nothing about being in a pack, or a gang, or a club. It had always just been him and his father, carving out their existence together. However, there had been something nagging at him, and it took him a long time to realize that it was a desire to be around a group of other wolves. He wasn’t a loner. He belonged with a pack.

Finding an actual pack had seemed like such a daunting task. Packs were static things, for the most part. A wolf was born into one. He might see members come and go, and he would almost certainly witness the advance of a new leader or two, but the pack would always exist in more or less the same way as before.

Asking permission to enter into a pack like that seemed like the most terrifying thing a person could do. Who was he, a sheltered omega, to think he was someone who could shove his way into an established pack? He had doubted himself out of even thinking about such a thing.

Then he had had an idea one night, which struck him out of the blue as all the best ideas do. Like every other shifter, like every other human, in Pensacola, he was aware of the presence of the two biker gangs. His thoughts had turned in their direction one night, causing this eureka moment.

A gang like that, composed of bikers, had to be constantly changing. Bikers entered into the hobby. Bikers left. Some stayed. The group was not a constant, but the idea of the group was.

Summoning every scrap of courage he had at the time, Lucas went to appeal to the leader of one of the biker packs, which was when he discovered the two packs were one, and there was only a single leader.

A single leader named Destiny, who was baffled, intrigued, and amused all at once by him.

“I never expect much from myself either,” Lucas said, tentatively approaching so he could stand at his leader’s side. Destiny’s solidity, his height and broad shoulders, was comforting and frightening all at once.

“You’re a good biker. Quick to learn how to ride. A healthy respect for the machine. Lately, there’s been something different about you. It’s hard to explain.” Destiny tilted his head. His reflection in the mirror showed that some of his hair had fallen across his eyes, obscuring them. “It’s like, after all this time, you’ve finally blossomed. There was this challenge I put before you, of being the contractor in charge of my renovations, and you have taken it on in a way I never expected.”

“What I’m saying is, I’m proud of you.”

Lucas felt the pressure of tears again, rising up hotly behind his eyes. He blinked furiously, but these were slower to leave. His chest felt swollen, and his heart was warm and filled with pride of his own.

“Thank you, Destiny,” he whispered. “Thank you. I’ve been trying so hard.”

“Not just trying. Succeeding. I’m glad you’re in the pack.” Destiny swept his hair out of his face with an impatient swipe of his fingers. “The nosy part of me wonders if all this progress you’ve been making is due to whoever made you grab for your phone like that.”

Blushing, Lucas tried to think of a way to deflect this observation.

Seeing the look on his face, Destiny chuckled. “Seems like I was right. Well, I think I’ve kept you from reading that text for long enough. I look forward to our talk tomorrow.”

“Me, too.”

“Maybe someday you’ll introduce your special someone to the pack.”

Destiny reached out, offering his hand. Lucas looked at it for a long moment before realizing what his leader wanted. He also reached out, and they clasped hands. It wasn’t a shake, nor was it really an agreement. It was a gesture of congratulations, of celebration.

Destiny loosened his grip first. “Firm for such a scrawny guy,” he commented. There was approval in his tone. He walked away, leaving Lucas with that sensation of warm pride swelling his chest.

Lucas looked out the window, observing the silver city, the way the lights played against the shiny buildings and the clear sky. Of all the places he could have been, he was glad he was here, in the place where he belonged.

His phone buzzed again, and he went for it, instantly forgetting what he had been thinking and feeling in his eagerness to see if that was Austin texting him again.

It was. The text read, “Did u die?”

Smiling a little, Lucas looked at the text that had been sent before.

“I have tomorrow night and most of the morning after free. How about a date?”

“I’d love to,” Lucas replied, his fingers flying so fast across the keyboard that he ended up creating an unintelligible mess rather than a coherent sentence. He deleted, then tried again.

He went back to looking out the window. Maybe the pack wasn’t the only place he belonged.

Maybe he belonged with Austin. Everything was going right between them. They had grown closer than ever before. Lucas was even debating finally telling Austin what had happened to his mother, since that was pretty much the only secret he had left.

Austin made him feel…different. There was no pressure this time. There was eagerness and desire, but no pressure. He wasn’t afraid. He still worried, still doubted, but he had been practicing sharing these with Austin and found that the mere act of doing so went a long way towards helping him feel better. His self-esteem was going up. All he had to do was hear Austin compliment his looks, call him sexy, or catch Austin gazing at him when he thought Lucas wasn’t paying attention. All of these things and more were making him think that perhaps he was wrong about himself. He was more than what his negativity told him he was.

There was a special word for these kind of feelings, this sense of belonging, this newfound hope.

It was a word Lucas didn’t doubt at all. And he wanted to tell Austin.

Lucas' hands curled around the windowsill. Rough concrete crumbled underneath his touch, leaving him with sharp grains stuck in his skin.

On their date tomorrow, he would tell Austin that he loved him. After that…Well, he refused to think about what would happen after that. It wasn’t important.

That was a difficult mindset to keep, especially for someone who was usually of the mind that everything mattered. Small things were big things for Lucas. He anxiously second-guessed and obsessed over everything.

There wasn’t much he could do about that when he was in his apartment all by himself, but the following morning he threw himself into his work with fervor. He didn’t allow himself any downtime. He was a busy bee, hopping from one flower to the other, never hesitating, never questioning his journey, his destination.

As a result, the last stage of the job was finished in record time.

“How much coffee have you had today, Lucas?” Peter Vance asked, laughing heartily. He was in a good mood. All of the men were. There was nothing in this world better than finishing a project. “You’re bouncing off the walls!”

Lucas smiled back. It was easy to smile in this moment, in this conversation, though his stomach was churning with unease. The cheer coming from these construction workers was infectious. “I’m just happy. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done.”

Peter shook his head, reaching out to clamp one hand on Lucas' shoulder. The gesture was a little too much, but then again, so was Peter. He had shown interest in Lucas—and Austin had said he was also flirted with—but rejection did nothing to hamper Peter’s good spirits. He was incredibly likable in that way, almost to the point where his acceptance made a person want to change their mind and give him a chance.

Even after being told he had no interest, the supervisor remained touchy and flirty. It was just the way he was.

“No,” Peter said. “Thank you. It’s been ages since we’ve worked with a contractor who actually knew how things work. Instead of how they’re supposed to work. And no fancy degree or nothing.”

“Absolutely none,” Lucas agreed.

The conversation carried on for a little while longer. Then, Peter went to speak with Destiny. Shortly afterwards, Lucas followed in his footsteps.

He and Destiny talked at length about the next stage of renovations, about what they had learned from this time around, and so on. They left no stone unturned, no topic untouched. Lucas fell into it all with enthusiasm, letting himself be just as excited as the leader because it helped keep him from thinking about tonight.

Abruptly, there was nothing else to talk about, and they had to part ways. Destiny had promised to be with his mate when his pup was taken to the doctor, and he had to leave that minute if he wanted to make it on time.

“The one time I count on the doctor to be behind, he’ll be ahead of schedule,” the alpha joked as he hurried away. “Enjoy your few days of peace, Lucas.”

Lucas lifted his hand to wave, but his pack leader was already gone.

He was going to meet Austin later at his apartment. The two of them had been alternating back and forth with who went where, though Austin always ended up driving from that point.

Maybe I should get a sidecar for my bike.

He had offered to have Austin ride with him, but the alpha had refused, saying it was too dangerous, and he’d seen the effects of motorcycle crashes before. Getting a sidecar attached would add more balance, though then Austin might growl about not being in control.

Lucas smiled a little as he made his way to the parking lot and mounted his bike. He liked it when Austin was in control. He felt safe and special because of the alpha wanting to do things for or to him.

There wasn’t much for him to do for the rest of the day until it was time for their date, so he went inside and took a nap. Sleep came very easily, which was a new development for him. Before, he would have lain awake for hours, contemplating what he had done and how he could fix it.

When he woke to the sound of his alarm, Lucas rolled out of bed. His heart fluttered in his chest, and his stomach was twisting over and over, turning itself into knots. He felt tense and also too light as what he was wanting to do sank in for real.

All the things that could go wrong were at the forefront of his mind. The tables could turn. Austin could reject him. They could have another hitch and break up again, and that would be it as far as his happiness went. He didn’t know what he would do if that happened.

I’ll just have to believe that it won’t happen, he thought, although it was useless to tell himself such things when he knew he wasn’t going to believe them.

He took a shower, hoping the hot water would calm his nerves. It didn’t work. If anything, breathing in steam made him feel somehow more anxious than before.

I’m just a wreck.

After stepping out of the shower again and toweling off, he got dressed. He had no idea where they were going tonight, so he figured he would play it safe and wear something nice, but not too nice that he would end up standing out if they found themselves inside a McDonald’s. A white polo shirt, with black trim on the collar and sleeves, and some navy slacks were what he chose, though he emptied out his entire wardrobe just to end up deciding on those.

He also did his hair, though there wasn’t really much he could do except poke at his curls and hope they stayed in place.

Even though he tried to take his time with all that, he still ended up with a few hours to kill. He spent them in front of the TV, trying to lose himself in the mindless programs. Unfortunately, every channel in existence seemed to be showing a show or movie with a romantic plotline. People were kissing, cuddling, holding hands, discussing the future. They were smiling at each other from across the room, arguing about stupid things, breaking up in a manner that seemed too zealous for the offenses which had occurred up to that point. There were first kisses and last kisses, and little goofy sayings.

Eventually, growing impatient and discouraged and worried all at the same time, Lucas found a nature documentary about wolves, where a human narrator was getting everything wrong.

Then, after a time so long he thought it would never end, it was time for him to go.

He grabbed his keys and left so fast that he forgot to turn off the TV. Oh, well. If a burglar came by and heard it, they would assume someone was home and choose not to rob him.

Look at me, thinking on the bright side about not having my valuables taken from me against my will, he thought. Why can’t I do that for literally any other aspect of my life?

Troubled, growing worried and more wound up the closer he came to seeing Austin again, it was all Lucas could do not to give up. His fight or flight response was going crazy. The wolf in him wanted to fight, but the human in him, afraid of getting hurt, only wanted to get out of there. He would run and run, putting the beach and this beautiful, fateful night far out of sight and mind.

And it was a beautiful night, of that there could be no doubt. The sky was purple with evening, and the temperature had dropped to the point where the warm ocean breeze stood out in contrast to the chilled air. Traffic was bafflingly minimal for once. On some desolate roads, with the empty city standing silent around him, Lucas could almost convince himself that he was the last person on earth.

He arrived at Austin’s apartment and there was the wolf himself, wearing a v-neck t-shirt and torn blue jeans. He was clearly not dressed to go anywhere fancy, and yet Lucas felt himself starting to get hot and bothered anyway. This man looked good in anything, and he looked good without anything, too.

“Hi,” Lucas said, speaking loudly to be heard over the sound of his idling engine. He leaned over and Austin flashed a grin, holding his face and bringing their lips together fiercely.

“Hey, yourself,” Austin growled. The lights from his building caught in his eyes, turning his dark brown irises into a display of shades of toffee. “Go park that death trap and let’s get going. I’m hungry.”

Lucas obediently took his bike over to a spot and parked it, then went over to join Austin at his cruiser. Austin opened the door for him, a gesture Lucas still wasn’t used to yet, and he climbed in.

Only a few seconds later, they were on their way.

Lucas glanced over at Austin. Austin was smiling vaguely, but his hands were a little tight on the steering wheel, and he didn’t seem to be in the best mood.

“Is everything okay?” Lucas ventured. His heart started to beat a little faster, pounding against his ribs. He wondered if the alpha would be able to hear it.

Austin just shook his head and made a clear effort to smile a little more readily. “Everything’s fine, Lucas. Don’t worry. I’ve just got a lot on my mind right now.”

“Is this a bad time for us to be doing this?”

“Fuck, no,” Austin growled. His fingers flexed tightly on the wheel, and he braked at a red light a little more harshly than was necessary. “I need this. You just need to give me a little bit to wind down.”

“Okay,” Lucas murmured. “No problem.”

He shrank back in his seat, feeling a little cowed, a little afraid. If something was really wrong, his confession would be undercut. Austin might even end up thinking he was confessing in an attempt to make him feel better, and that wasn’t what he wanted at all.

His heart continued to flutter, and his stomach worked itself into knots. He felt a little like he might be sick, though it wasn’t exactly nausea he felt. There was a sense of uneasiness inside him that he couldn’t budge, no matter how furiously he fought against it. At this point, he was seriously considering saving his confession for another time. A better time.

“Where are we going?” Lucas asked.

“I feel like some Chili’s. You in?”

Even if I didn’t want that, I’d agree, just for you.

The only reason he’d wanted to know was so he could judge how much time he had to sit here and think and overthink. He knew himself. The longer the ride was, the less likely he was to end up making his confession to Austin. He would psyche himself out of it.

The horrible thing was that he knew exactly what he was doing. He was fully conscious of the way his thoughts worked, having spent his entire life in this headspace. He could detail the steps out exactly as they would occur, time them right down to the second. He was powerless to stop it, powerless to do anything but sit back and watch, like seeing a train heading straight for a broken track jutting out above a canyon.

For all that he thought he’d gotten better at this, he was back to phase one when he didn’t have someone behind him, pushing him forward. His pack wasn’t here.

Destiny wasn’t here, with his alternating expectations and encouragement.

Cain wasn’t here, with his easy, careless attitude.

And Austin was caught up in whatever it was that had brought his mood so low. It was unfair to ask anything of him when he was like this.

Lucas was alone, and he was quite aware that he had learned nothing about how to be confident on his own.

The ride was a little slow. There was a lot of traffic as people went home from work, as tourists went in search of their dinners. Lucas clamped his hands together in his lap, feeling the heavy silence drag on and on and on.

It was once they were nearly at the restaurant that Austin finally spoke up. His words rose so suddenly from the quiet that Lucas flinched, not expecting them.

“I’m sorry about being so curt. It’s a little hard sometimes, to go from being a cop to just being a regular guy. There’s a big switch in mindset.”

Lucas tried to relax a little. “It’s okay,” he said. “I understand.”

“You ever feel like that?” Austin asked. He pulled into the turning lane near the restaurant, studiously using his blinker to announce the swap, as a good cop did. “You work all day and then you come home, and feel like you’re still working?”

It seemed like they would be stranded in the turning lane for a little while. It was like the floodgates had been opened and a river of cars was pouring forth.

Opening his mouth, Lucas said, “Yes.”

He frowned at himself a little. That wasn’t what he’d meant to say at all. In his experience, those two aspects of life were quite separate. His father came home from work, changed clothes, and became the man Lucas knew and loved.

Now that he was thinking about it though, how many nights had Franklin spoken only of business and related things, when it was time to talk about his day? He spent mornings and evenings at home poring over documents and plans.

Now, Lucas did the same thing. Work wasn’t just work. It carried over, affected all aspects of his life. He couldn’t even look at a nice building half the time without rattling off a list of descriptions of the way parts of it had been constructed, and what tools might have been used in the job.

“But, it’s not like it’s as hard for me as it must be for you.” He tried to backpedal, hoping his answer wouldn’t be taken in the wrong way by the alpha.

An opening finally came in the stream of cars. “Hold on,” Austin said, then yanked on the wheel and sent them practically flying across the street and into the parking lot.

The lot was unusually crowded, and the search for a space began. Austin finally found one at the very rear of the restaurants, back near the dumpsters.

Looking at the garbage, Lucas couldn’t help but to feel like this might be some omen of what was to come. He shoved the thought away, knowing that keeping it around would only make him act even more awkwardly.

Austin shifted into park, then reached for the keys in the ignition. He paused for a moment. “Not my place to say who has it harder. I just shove people in jail and let others figure that out.”

“That’s not all you do!” Lucas protested. He was alarmed, his worry having found a new focal point other than himself. Something really bad must have happened for Austin to be saying things like this. Austin was sounding a lot like him, and that wasn’t the way things normally were. “You keep people safe.”

“Sometimes. Other times, I arrive a little too late.”

Lucas reached out, placed his hand on Austin’s, which was still hovering over the keys in the ignition. “What do you mean?”

“Did you know police officers have one of the highest divorce rates in the country?”

A sharp burst of fear exploded inside Lucas' stomach. It tasted bitter at the back of his throat, and he could almost have retched from how afraid he was. “I didn’t know that.”

Is he hinting that he thinks we won’t last? Again? Or is he saying he knows we won’t?

“Yeah. It’s true. And I guess it’s true because of this. It’s hard to go home and be a good spouse when you’ve just avoided being shot at or cut up. When you pick up the pieces of some kid who was in a car wreck. When you wrapped someone up in a body bag.”

Lucas caught his breath. He trembled. His spine tingled. He was agnostic, but he didn’t think any amount of faith would have been able to combat what he was feeling right now. It was clear that someone had died today. He didn’t know who, why, or where their spirit had gone. He just knew it was a terrible, terrible thing to have happened.

“What happened today, Austin?” he whispered.

“I’m not really sure anymore. I mean, I know the facts.” Austin heaved a sigh and tilted his head back against the headrest. His hands fell down to his lap. Lucas came along with them, holding them between his. He caressed Austin’s fingers with his own, finding the calluses there, tracing the lines of his knuckles. ”Someone died today, and it may or may not be related to the investigation I’m part of. All signs point to yes.”

Sliding his thumb over the back of Austin’s hand, Lucas just waited. All thoughts of his own predicament had flown out the window. Instead, he was thinking as hard as he could on how to possibly make this night better for the other wolf.

“I’m not even sure if I should be telling you all of this. I’ll just count it as practice for when I speak to the station shrink.” Austin gave an unamused grin. “Yeah, you heard right. Police stations have a designated psychologist. Anyone who wants to get something off their chest goes to them. And I’ve got a mandatory meeting with him because of today being the first time I’ve seen something like this.”

“Seen a lot of injuries. A lot of crashes. Broken up a lot of fights. But this was just…brutal. Clinical. Just bam and done.”

Lucas wasn’t going to say so aloud, because he didn’t know how Austin would react, but he thought the station psychologist idea was a damn good one. And he was very glad Austin was being forced to go.

“You can’t tell anyone I told you this. It’s our secret.”

“Our secret,” Lucas promised, softly.

“There was a woman. Ever since we’ve been pressing on with a more official investigation, we’ve been getting more information. This woman was a junior manager at a national chain of home improvement stores, who I won’t mention by name. She was feeding information to us, stuff that wasn’t going on the official store records. Her bosses were getting her in on all this, and she felt bad about it. Probably would have gotten less than a year in jail, maybe even just a fine, when all this finally came to trial. Hell, maybe she wouldn’t have been charged at all. We won’t ever know now.”

“She was found dead. She’d recently been switched to an overnight shift. Not a lot of employees overnight. It’s mostly restocking. Cleaning. So, it wasn’t unusual that no one saw her all night. They just figured she was busy. But, she wasn’t. She’d had her throat slit with a box cutter. We think it was someone who found out that she was working with us and wanted to silence her for good.”

But doesn’t that give you proof that you were on the right track, if she was killed for it?

Lucas forced back a grimace. Of all the times to put a positive outlook on something, this had to be the absolute worst.

Austin seemed to have run out of words, though there was a haunted look in his brown eyes that suggested he was seeing even more than he had said.

“Austin, I don’t know what to say.” Lucas lifted one of his hands and wrapped his arm around the other man. Austin reached for him and stroked his shoulder, his touch light and tenuous. “I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks.”

“What did you mean earlier, when you said you arrived too late? You don’t have to answer that.”

Austin shrugged. “It didn’t really mean anything. No one could have known. There was no sign that this was going to happen, no warning. At the same time, it feels like I should have known. You know? I should have predicted this. I should have done something more. I’m not even sure what.”

“You did everything you could.”

“Maybe, maybe not.” Shrugging again, Austin yanked the keys from the ignition with a little more force than was necessary. “I was at the scene when they were…taking pictures. Examining her. The office she was found in. They told me I didn’t have to be, but I felt like I had to.”

“You did everything you could,” Lucas repeated.

“Sure. But anyway. Thanks for listening. You really didn’t have to, you know. It’s not your job. That honor belongs to the psychologist.”

It wasn’t a very funny joke, but Lucas smiled anyway because he knew Austin needed it. “Your dark sense of humor is really going to be of interest to him.”

Austin rolled his eyes. Talking seemed to have drained him, yet also had lifted him up above the fog he had been in. “Dark humor is just how cops cope. It won’t be anything new to him. Really, Lucas. Thank you. I feel better. I’m ready to go in and have a nice dinner with you, although I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to handle afterwards.”

“That’s okay,” Lucas said. “I understand.” His mouth had gone very dry, and he worried Austin would notice when the alpha leaned in for a kiss. If they weren’t going to spend much time together after they had dinner, the amount of time he had for making his confession was even less.

And the time he had to decide if he was going to make a confession at all was down to seconds, because Austin was reaching for his door, opening it, coming around the front of the cruiser to the passenger side.

Lucas squeaked out, “Thanks,” as Austin opened the door for him.

Austin gave him an odd look, then smiled a little and shook his head. He shut the car door, then reached out and took Lucas' hand into his. Their fingers curled together, fitting just right, causing the tingles that would never ever get old. “Let’s go. I was only pretending before when I said I was hungry, but now I’m actually hungry.”

Step by step, Lucas felt his chances going away. They were at the back of the restaurant, and then they were heading around the side, following the sidewalk. In only another moment or two, they would reach the front doors, head inside, and be seated or waiting to be seated.

He couldn’t bear the idea of announcing his innermost feelings out loud in a building full of loud strangers, some of which might overhear. This was overwhelming enough as it was.

He felt a tug on his arm and realized that he had stopped while Austin continued on ahead. Austin was turning back, a puzzled frown on his face. Concern chased some of the tiredness from his expression. “Lucas?”

If Lucas had thought his mouth was dry before, he had been wrong. That had only been a momentary drought, a passing thing. This was the real deal. His tongue was a desert, a parched thing. There wasn’t a drop of moisture to be found anywhere.

This was his moment. He could hear other people at the front of the building. Some were coming and going all the while. He had to take this chance, his second chance.

“Lucas?” Austin repeated. He clasped both hands around Lucas', and his skin was very warm and welcoming in comparison. “What’s wrong? You feel okay? You’re so pale. Pun unintended.”

Lucas tried to lick his lips, but he might as well have been rubbing sandpaper on his mouth. He swallowed, and his throat made an audible click. “I…have…something to tell you?” His hesitant words grew quieter with every syllable until the sound was no louder than the faint desert wind.

“What is it?” Austin said. “You can tell me.”

“It’s just…The way I feel. And I want you to know.” Lucas felt like he was going to choke on his own air. “I think I love you. Again. That I fell in love with you again.”

For a moment, Austin only looked blankly accepting. Then, a slow smile curved on his lips. His eyes brightened. The last of his exhaustion was swept away from his features at this pronunciation of love. For a moment, only a moment, Lucas felt all his anxieties dissolve. He had done it! And from the look of things, he wasn’t to be disappointed with the results.

“Lucas,” Austin said, and the sound of his voice was full of a thousand things which had no real name. They were all the things Lucas felt inside when he thought of Austin, and they were also things which Lucas had never dared think of. Austin carried the future in his voice.

And something happened. Lucas wasn’t sure what it was. The wind changed. The earth turned. Something.

Whatever it was caused Austin’s smile to freeze in formation, then shatter into a thousand pieces. His eyes went dark, narrowed, filled with anger and other terrible things. His posture grew rigid. The scent of aggression perfumed the air.

Lucas took a step back, his breath coming fast. His heart was shriveling in his chest, a neglected flower. The tangling, knotting sensations in his stomach had reached an unbearable crescendo.

I fucked up. Oh, no, I fucked up.

Austin’s lips peeled apart in a snarl. “Lucas,” he said, in a breathy growl. “Get out of here.”

He was shaking so hard his teeth were chattering. “Austin, I…”

“You need to go. Now.” Austin reached for him, grabbed his wrist, pulled him more up onto the sidewalk. That was odd, considering that coming closer was the opposite of what Austin was saying, but Lucas couldn’t make heads or tails of anything. He couldn’t begin to solve this puzzle when there were more important ones hogging all the room in his brain.

“I’m sorry, Austin! I shouldn’t have said that. Not when you’re upset!” Lucas let himself be dragged wherever Austin wanted. Only now, Austin seemed to be pushing instead of pulling, trying to force him back in the direction of the cruiser. The alpha looked absolutely pissed. His features were creased with fury. He was spitting mad, wild and primal. If Lucas hadn’t known better, he would have said that Austin’s mind had snapped and he had gone feral. The only thing human about him right now was the body he was in.

Even knowing that his pleas were going to fall on deaf ears, Lucas tried anyway. He begged. “I’ll take it back if you don’t want it. Just, don’t do this to me?”

Austin stood between him and the front of the restaurant now, blocking his view of the street beyond where they had been only a few minutes before, when everything still made sense. Did he want Lucas to stay? Did he want Lucas to go?

Lucas had no idea, and it was tearing him to pieces. He didn’t understand. Why wasn’t Austin saying anything? He could at least have directly rejected Lucas, said he didn’t love him back. As awful as that would have been, Lucas didn’t think it would be as terrible as this.

Austin spoke in a guttural tone, a growl so deep it hardly contained words at all. “We can’t do this right now. I need you to go.”

He didn’t raise his voice. He didn’t push or pull. He didn’t do anything but add extra emphasis onto that last word.

That was all it took for Lucas to break. The pain in his heart reached a point where he couldn’t control it any longer. He opened his mouth but he didn’t even have the strength to cry out. He turned back to the cruiser, to the rear of the parking lot, and took off running.

Austin didn’t chase him. He didn’t need to.

Lucas didn’t stop when he reached the cruiser, even though the cop car was at the very back of the lot. Separating this parking lot from the next was a line of bushes. Lucas shoved his way through those, feeling branches snag at his clothes, whip against his hands and face. Struggling, he stumbled out on the other side, right in front of a couple who were getting into their van. They held to-go boxes from Red Robin in their hands and up until his sudden appearance, they seemed to have been enjoying themselves.

“Something wrong?” the woman asked, a little hesitantly.

Blushing, Lucas tucked his head down and strode right past them. They both turned to stare after him, but he ignored them and was out of their sight soon enough. He just kept walking, hardly paying attention to where he was going. Through alleys and across parking lots, past wide streets filled with bright lights and happy people. His thoughts were whirling and whirling like a tornado. He was a hapless cow, a dumb creature stuck in the cyclone, spiraling and uncertain of how to save itself.

How long he walked, he didn’t know.

He only looked up when he smelled the ocean. Whether intentionally or not, he had found his way to a beach. It was closed up for the night, the gate shut across the entrance. A truck engine rumbled in the distance, accompanied by a glow of headlights as a guard did their duty.

Lucas climbed underneath the gate and shifted as his shoes hit the sand. He sheltered in the mind and body of his wolf, letting his senses overcome his thoughts.

He paced the beach for hours. Occasionally, a thought would surface.

He knew what I was going to do tonight, long before I tried to say it.

He would push the thought down, only to have it return.

He told me about the divorce rate of police officers so I would get discouraged.

The struggle was exhausting, dragging at him. Eventually, he gave in. He found a place against the rear wall of the beach, where sand met earth. Sheltered from the worst of the wind, Lucas lay down and set his head on his paws. He closed his eyes, but sleep was a long time in coming, so he just lay there and listened to the sleepy shuffling and stirring of beach rats in their burrows.

At some point, he must have dozed because he was opening his eyes to sunlight. It was morning, the sun clawing its way over the horizon. The colors of dawn were nearly the same as that of sunset, though the shades were paler.

Lucas felt like the dawn. Muted. Grayed. Muddied.

He was still in wolf form, so he shifted back to his human body. He was covered in sand and his clothes were damp and sticky. He needed a shower.

Hell, at this point he needed a new life.

Head down, he started the long walk down the beach and wound up at the gate just as the guard was leaving. The guard stared at him with open curiosity and little judgment. “You been out there all night?”

Lucas didn’t have the strength in him to look directly at the guard. From what he could hear, the man sounded young and faintly British, as if he had been in America long enough to have begun losing his accent. “Yeah.”

“Thought I did a right job of patrolling. Props to you, then.”

The praise fell on deaf ears. Lucas just kept walking.

He had left his bike at Austin’s apartment building. He would need it in a few days, when he was expected back at the garage; for now, he wanted to be nowhere near the alpha, nor anything that reminded him of him.

Not knowing what else to do, Lucas just walked home.

He looked at his phone before collapsing on the bed.

A few texts and a missed call from his dad, wondering where he was and how the night had gone.

Nothing from Austin.