The closet was dusty, though thankfully devoid of spider webs. Lucas leaned back against the door, focusing on his breathing. In and out, like it was an entirely new experience for him.

Truth was, it felt like it. It felt like he had been on the cusp of starting a new, better life with Austin, and instead he was having to do it all on his own.

Three days had passed since Austin rejected his confession of love. Three days, and there had been no word. Nothing.

The first day, Lucas sent a few tentative texts. He spread them out over the course of the entire day, not wanting to seem like he was as desperate for an answer as he actually was. He debated calling but he was terrified of actually hearing Austin’s voice. What if he picked up? What if he was still angry? Even worse, what if he didn’t pick up? What if this was it, the end of their relationship before it had even really begun?

In the end, it probably didn’t matter. Austin didn’t answer.

After that, Lucas didn’t have the heart to try anymore. Austin didn’t reach out, either.

As much as it ruined him to admit, things were over. And he didn’t understand why.

He hadn’t eaten. He could hardly sleep. He hadn’t prepared anything for the newest renovation project for the garage, which had come across as a shock to Destiny. He was disappointed. Lucas knew that, could read it in his expression even though he didn’t say it aloud.

The men they were working with didn’t seem to care one way or another. This was just par for the course with them. They were used to being stuck working with people who couldn’t find their own dicks in the dark. Really, it was their general state of disinterest that kept Lucas from falling apart. Their lack of judgment meant he could just keep going.

Not that he was going anywhere fast. He kept getting distracted, dropping things, missing entire conversations. He filled out the wrong forms, brought the incorrect paperwork. At one point, he had to leave and take a moment so he could even remember what he was doing here.

He was hiding in this closet right now because it was quiet, relatively lacking in any sensory stimulus. He needed to get ahold of himself.

He was also hiding from Destiny, who he had seen approaching him out of the corner of his eye as the workers left. A point had been reached where they could do no more without a form that Lucas hadn’t brought. It was wasted time, wasted effort. They didn’t care, because they got paid either way.

Destiny, on the other hand, had looked as displeased as a wolf could be during his approach. An alpha’s duty was to keep order in the pack, and Lucas had certainly created a disturbance.

Under the pretense of doing something important, Lucas had slipped away and dashed into this closet. He could only hope that Destiny wouldn’t be able to follow his scent trail here. Wolf senses were dulled when a shifter was in human form, and alphas were less adept already. Plus, dozens of paws walked all around the garage all day. There were so many trails to begin with. Surely one in particular out of all those would be difficult to detect.

Lucas put his head in his hands and sighed, breathing in mothballs and the smells of forgotten things. This closet held cleaning supplies, but they were all old and stale, having lost much of their potency. Sooner or later, they would be thrown out and replaced.

Just like me.

He was angry at himself for thinking that, especially since he had no proof that Austin had replaced him or was intending to replace him. He had no proof of anything, because nothing had been explained to him.

The one thing he knew was that he still loved Austin. Something had gone wrong along the way. The wild wolf which had forced him to go away was not the Austin he knew, not the Austin who had loved him so gently. Austin was gruff and forceful, but he was also kind. He didn’t act out like that for no reason.

Without warning, the door Lucas had been leaning against swung open. He yelped, falling backward. He grabbed onto the doorframe and clutched at it to keep from hitting the ground, except there was no longer any need for him to save himself because he was already being supported by two strong hands.

Even without any of his other senses, Lucas knew who had found him. He knew these hands. He had shaken one of them, what seemed like a lifetime ago when he had been so proud of himself.

He didn’t want Destiny to be supporting him.

Lucas pulled away. The strong hands hesitated before letting him go. Lucas turned around and faced his pack leader, keeping his head lowered submissively. “You’re here to tell me I’m worthless.’

‘No,” Destiny sighed. “I probably scared you, coming at you like that. That wasn’t my intention.”

“It’s okay.”

“Would you look at me?”

Slowly, Lucas tipped his head up until he was looking in Destiny’s eyes. Destiny gave an odd little smile, his lips stretching out to the sides rather than curving up at the edges. “Good. Now, do I look like I’m going to bite you?”

Lucas shook his head. He didn’t think Destiny looked angry. In fact, he was pretty sure his pack leader’s face held concern.

“What went wrong today, Lucas? I thought we had all this stuff figured out at the end of the last job. You were prepared. Everything was ready.”

“I’ll do better tomorrow.”

“No, you won’t.”

Lucas froze. “Are you firing me?”

Not only was he losing his relationship, he was losing the biggest and best job opportunity he could ever have hoped for. Word would get out about this. He would have an even harder time finding work. This might even come back to his dad, reflect poorly on him.

“Do you always assume the worst?”

That wasn’t an answer to his question and the lack of definitiveness left Lucas feeling even more uncertain than before. Why couldn’t people just say what they meant and leave it at that? There was no need for all this back and forth. “Yes.”

“You’re going to take years off your life doing that.” Destiny frowned a little. “But, no. I’m not firing you. And I’m not kicking you out of the pack either, so don’t start worrying about that. I’m also not going to ask you what’s wrong, unless you really want to tell me. Then, we’ll go to my office and talk about it.”

Lucas shook his head.

“Fine. Just know that I am here, if you ever want to. But, I think you should take a few more days to relax. Something clearly happened, and you need time to get back to a normal routine. Or what can resemble a normal routine, anyway. Come by tomorrow with the right form—actually, just give me all the forms that we already talked about. I’ll take care of things from there.”

As much as he wanted to listen to his pack leader and take it easy, Lucas knew that going home to his apartment and just sitting there was only going to end up making him feel worse. At least here at work he was doing something, however ineptly.

“I can’t do that. That wouldn’t be doing my job.”

“We’ll say you’re off preparing something else. You’ll be doing what you’re supposed to, as far as anyone else will know.” Destiny reached out and patted him on the shoulder. “It’ll be our secret.”

Their secret. Just like the secrets he and Austin had shared. Lucas closed his eyes and swayed a little as a wave of dizzying pain swept through him. When he opened his eyes, Destiny was looking at him worriedly.

“Are you okay?”

“Not really,” Lucas stammered truthfully. He suddenly just wanted to get out of there. “I’ll do what you said. I’ll bring the form. Our secret. I need to leave now.”

Lucas hurried away, very aware that his leader was watching him go. He didn’t stop moving, not even when Cujo called out a warm greeting to him. Her voice changed, filling with concern, but he didn’t respond to that either.

When he was outside, he grabbed his motorcycle and mounted it. He rode home with the balmy sea breeze stirring his hair and tickling his cheeks. It wasn’t refreshing. He felt hot, humid, and clammy.

He parked outside his building, then took the elevator up to his floor. He didn’t want to climb the stairs, didn’t want to face all the memories of the times Austin had walked him up to his door. His legs felt weak and shaky anyway, like he wouldn’t have been able to climb the steps even if he wanted to.

Stumbling out of the elevator, he fumbled for his key in his pocket and jammed it in the lock. The key skittered around the doorknob before finding its mark and slipping inside. Lucas twisted the knob, pushed the door open, and left it open behind him as he staggered in the direction of the bathroom. Hot prickles of sweat broke out on his forehead. His vision was full of twisting black shapes, throbbing in time with his heartbeat.

He made it to the bathroom in time to be sick, though for the most part it was only wretched, convulsing dry heaves. When his body had ceased rebelling against him, he tried to stand and found that he had neither the strength nor the willpower for it. He just rested his cheek on the cool toilet seat, not caring if it was unsanitary. The chilled plastic felt good on his hot skin.

After a few minutes, he started to feel better and straightened up. The dizziness overcame him again, and he was forced to repeat the process from before. His chest ached at the end of it, and he kept his head on the toilet for a longer time before trying again.

“What’s wrong with me?” he whispered.

He didn’t otherwise feel sick. No grogginess or aches or anything like that. It was unusual for shifters to get sick anyway, with their hardy constitutions and the combined immune systems of human and animal. Not impossible, but certainly uncommon; the last time he could remember being sick was a severe case of the sniffles in elementary school.

Destiny said worrying would take years off my life, but I don’t think he meant it like this.

Worrying and doubting sometimes left him feeling nauseous and dizzy, but not to this degree. This was something else.

Lucas caught his breath a little. His thoughts turned, shifting in a new direction. Where else had he come across this exact scene before? In movies and TV shows, when someone was drunk.

Or pregnant.

I can’t be pregnant. We used protection.

Things like this happened all the time. Condoms were defective. They broke. Lucas just couldn’t believe that it could be happening to him. There must be some mistake. He had probably jumped to the worst conclusion, as usual.

Still, his heart hammered in his chest, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to rest until he had an answer.

Lucas pulled out his phone from his pocket. He saw that he had a text and his heart skipped a beat, thinking it might be from Austin, before he saw that it was only his provider informing him of some deal or other.

Lucas opened the internet and went to Google, that search engine with all the answers. He searched for information about condoms.

He knew this was a backward way to do it. He couldn’t make himself look for something directly related to pregnancy, though. That would mean admitting it was real, that he was as sunk as could be.

He read a few articles. The information was pretty standard, only slightly more complex than what was taught in high school Sex Ed classes.

Then he came to a short, insignificant section at the bottom of one of the articles. It was only a few lines long, but it was world-changing: “Vaseline and other oil-based products should not be used as lubrication with a condom. These products may corrode the surface of the condom, causing breakages.”

That was exactly what he and Austin had done. They used Vaseline as lube, in addition to a condom. They had unknowingly increased its chances to fail, and now Lucas was paying for it.

I’m pregnant.

This could have only been some sort of mistake, or a false pregnancy. The brain did some strange things, and the body was forced to follow. He needed to confirm it in other, more official ways.

His phone slipped out of his hands and clattered on the tile floor. He put his head in his hands, pressed his fingers against his eyes.

He knew.

He didn’t need confirmation. Now that his mind had been opened to the possibility, he knew it was true. It was real. He was pregnant.

And the father had shoved him away without explanation. He couldn’t even do his damn job properly, and now he was going to have to raise a baby on his own.

The way things were going right now, he was pretty sure the baby was going to end up looking like Austin. He would be haunted by this rejection for years and years and years.

He could give the baby up. But, no. That wasn’t an option. There were too many kids in the system already, and this baby was a wolf pup. It needed guidance from other wolves.

“I guess that’s it, then,” Lucas whispered. He slid his hands down from his face and placed them over his stomach. The pup inside him couldn’t be more than a little blob of cells right now, but he felt as if he could feel it developing, growing.

He would raise the pup on his own. Fuck having a spouse. Fuck the idea of having a perfect little family. He would follow in his father’s footsteps and give this pup everything he had, putting it first before anything else.

He wasn’t at all confident about his ability to do so. He would try anyway.

But, he couldn’t do this alone. Even his father had had support from his friends, from the men he worked with. A pup needed a community.

Lucas sighed. First, he would tell his father. Then, he would tell Destiny. Both of them had children. They would know what to do. He could count on them, at least, unlike a certain someone whose name he was never going to mention again.