PROLOGUE

Addy

I’m just stepping out of the shower when I hear the bedroom door open. I quickly dry off and look in the mirror to see if the evidence of my tears are visible on my face. Brew hates it when I cry, considering what’s been happening he expects it, but he doesn’t like it. He has never liked seeing me upset, but there’s nothing I can do, the tears flow like water.

My best friend has cancer, the same type of cancer that killed her much loved mother. I was young when Patty Slade died, but I remember the feel of loss at her death. I remember her being sick, remember her losing her beautiful blonde hair. I can still see Trix cry as she watched her mother wither away. Patty was such a sweet woman, a woman filled with laughter and love. She shared that with all of us. Even me, the sad little girl that lived in a cold home, with even colder parents.

I just do not know where I will get the strength to go through that with my friend. How am I supposed to watch her throw up after treatments, see her hair fall out and lose weight, and stay the strong friend she needs? I’m at a loss on what to do, how to feel, or how to be the supportive friend that she needs. Trix knows that I’m always here for her, but she won’t ask for help, and damn sure isn’t going to want to accept any. That’s just tough shit though; she’s gonna get all the support and help that I can give, whether she wants it or not. I’m just going to have to figure out a way to be there for her and not let her know how hard it is on me.

Pulling Brew’s oversized t-shirt over my head, I slip on a pair of panties and open the bathroom door. Stepping into the bedroom, I stop and take in the scene in front of me. Brew is standing beside the bed, pulling his shirt over his head. Even after all these years, I still get butterflies when he is near. His rippling abs cause me to forget for a moment the stress of our lives, and I can feel my heartbeat accelerate.

My eyes scan his body, taking in his ink. His left pec and back are both covered with the Grim Bastards logo. Cameron’s name is scrolled over his left pec, and my name is written on his right. Each of our other children’s name are along his left rib. At first this bothered me, making me think that he was keeping Cam separated from the children we made together. I was pissed off for weeks, before finally breaking down and telling him what was wrong. Once I did, he was the one that was pissed. He let me, and everyone else within shouting distance, know that could not be farther from the truth.

He told me that he wanted Cam to have something that was just his. He had already given him his name and all his heart, but he would never be able to give him what he could our birth children, his DNA. Without that, Cam may someday feel a little different than the other kids, so he gave him his own spot on his left side. The one closest to his heart.

“Most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life, always has been and always will be,” I whisper, not taking my eyes off him.

Brew is about to toss his shirt to the floor, something that usually pisses me off, when he hears me. He takes a few steps and pitches it into the clothes hamper instead. Giving me a little shrug, he walks over to me, placing a kiss on my cheek.

“Whatcha talking about?” he asks, leaning down to place another soft kiss, this one on my lips.

A smile spreads across my lips, wrapping my arms around him. “You, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

He kisses me again, this one longer, deeper, and a hell of a lot more erotic. It goes on and on, finally leaving me breathless. When he pulls back, he gives my body a tight squeeze and lets me go. When he takes a step back, his eyes narrow in on my face, obviously seeing the leftover signs of my earlier tears.

“How are you doing?” he asks, knowing it’s a loaded question.

There are just too many emotions that I’m going through to be able to answer. He doesn’t need to know that I am falling apart, doesn’t need to know that my soul is crying out in pain. I’m strong, always have been. That is the woman he fell in love with, and that will be the woman he has for the rest of his days.

“I honestly don’t know how I’m doing. I don’t know how to feel. Obviously, I’m stunned, and don’t know how this could’ve happened, not to Trix,” I say, giving him a little of my worry, but trying not to overwhelm him. “She’s always been so observant and cautious about this. I just don’t get how it grew so fast, so far that she has had to have a mastectomy and now needs treatments.”

“I know it doesn’t make sense. When does any shitty thing that happens to any of us make any sense? Sometimes we get dealt shit, but we make it through it,” he says, pulling me into his arms again. “We will make it thought this time too. Have no doubt that Trix will fight this with everything she has, and she has so many people to have her back, especially you.”

He’s right, of course, as he usually is. That doesn’t change the fact that I’m pissed off. I am so damn mad at the fact that this is happening to my best friend. If it were possible to be in her shoes, and take this burden from her, I’d do it in an instant.

“I know you’re right, but what if it doesn’t turn out the way we hope? What if she can’t fight this? What if it’s so advanced that this stupid disease takes her away from me?” I ask, letting my guard slip a bit.

I voice my biggest fears, knowing that Brew will understand. He knows that besides him and our children, Trix is the only family that I have. She has been like a sister to me since we were kids, and even more so, after I lost my sister, Alex. If I lost her now, I would be adrift in a sea of pain and loneliness.

Brew pulls back just enough to see my face; he wipes the tears away before cupping my cheeks. “You can’t think of it that way. I know you can’t help that your thoughts veer that way, but thinking the worst is going to cause you to lose your shit.”

“I’m not going to lose my shit,” I say, sniffing back my tears and putting back on my tough girl exterior.

“If you let all this negative shit get to you, it will affect her too,” he explains, talking to me as if I were a child. “You paste a smile on your face and just keep on keeping on. That’s what she needs, and that’s what you need to give her.”

Rolling my eyes at his condescending tone, I say, “I fucking know that. I know I have to keep it together for Trix. That’s why I’m venting to my man, so that I get it out of my system before I see her again.”

I see a hint of a smile on Brew’s face, and it just makes me more pissed off, which means more tears. “I don’t see anything to smile about right now.”

He pulls me even closer to him and says, “I know you’re upset, and that is why I’m gonna let you get away with raising your voice to me. I’m also going to let that eye roll slide, but you need to stop that right now before I forget you’re dealing with some heavy shit right now and punish your sassy ass.”

The thought of one of his punishments causes my pussy to pulse with excitement. It also has me rolling my eyes in an attempt to goad him into giving me what I need. When he doesn’t even say anything, I pull away in aggravation. I attempt to walk away, but Brew isn’t having that and pulls me back to him.

“Where do you think you’re going, Addy? That second eye roll just bought you an ass spanking,” he says, his voice gruff with a hint of lust.

“You realize that spanking my ass isn’t really a punishment,” I say, a smile playing on my lips. “In fact, it is more of a reward.”

He brings his lips to mine and whispers, “For both of us, Red.”

Brew wastes no time in picking me up and carrying me to our bed. Setting me on the edge, I pull my shirt over my head and watch as he takes off the rest of his clothes. I don’t even mind that he tosses his pants to the floor this time.

It doesn’t take him long to get undressed, and by the time he climbs onto the bed, I’m also naked and waiting for him. Laying my head back on the pillows, Brew doesn’t keep me waiting as he positions himself between my spread legs.

“I thought you were going to spank me,” I say, wiggling my hips just a bit.

Holding his weight on his elbows, he leans down, giving my neck a quick brush of his lips before whispering, “Later, I promise.”

I can feel his hard cock between my legs, and the only thing I can think at the moment is how good it’s going to feel to have him inside of me. “No foreplay this time. I just need you deep in me.”

He doesn’t need any more encouragement as he runs his hand between us and palms my already wet pussy. As he pinches my clit, his mouth comes to mine, and I don’t hesitate in allowing him entry. Our tongues fight for dominance as he grinds his already rock hard cock up and down my pussy. When I don’t think I can take much more, he finally pushes in deep, filling me whole.

My own moan of pleasure is captured by his mouth as he starts to move. Stroke after stroke, I feel the walls of my pussy tightening, knowing this is going to go fast. My need for him is too strong to allow me to delay my orgasm.

Pulling his mouth from mine, he lifts his head, looking into my eyes. “Everything is going to be okay. I’ll make it that way, I promise.”

I feel the tears welling up from his passionate words but won’t allow them to come between this moment. I’ve shed enough tears for today, and now is the time to enjoy the comfort my husband is providing.

“I know, baby,” I say, running my hands over his back.

Brew continues his fevered strokes, his rhythm wavering with the quickening of his pace. I can feel the tightening in my stomach as my orgasm approaches, and even if I wanted to make this last longer, there’s nothing I can do.

“Almost there,” I mumble, lifting my head and biting his shoulder.

Brew slips his hand between our bodies again, running his thumb across my swollen clit. His touch, along with the feel of our bodies together, is enough to cause my hips to buck to their own rhythm. My pussy clenches around his cock as my orgasm tears through my body. Brew thrusts deeper and deeper until his cock swells inside me, jerking with his own release.

Catching our breaths for a minute, Brew falls to the bed beside me, wrapping me in his arms. “Love you, Red. Love you more than anything.”

“Me too, Brew,” I say, cuddling into his side. “Always.”