Chapter 4
Emily
“What if—”
“I’ll win.”
“But—”
“I won’t lose.”
“You don’t know that!”
“I promise you, Em, I won’t lose.”
“I’m scared, Luke.”
“About what?”
“Everything,” I throw my hands in the air, even though it’s not like he can see them. “I know you think you’re going to win, but what if you don’t? What if he’s bigger than you? Stronger than you? What if…while you’re gone, he comes back here? What if he—”
“Not going to happen,” he growls. “First off, he wouldn’t leave me there—it’s too much of a risk. I could run away or someone else could take me. He won’t risk that to come back here for you.”
“I…I don’t want to be down here by myself,” as much as I don’t want to, I let him in on my biggest fear.
“Come here.” He wraps an arm around my back and pulls me against him.
It’s the first time he’s touched me… since this morning. I don’t know how it happened, but at some point during the night, I curled around him. I was pressed against his side, his arm under my head with mine resting on his stomach. I quickly jumped from the bed and went to the shower without saying a word. We didn’t talk about it, but I kind of felt like he was making an effort not to touch me all day.
“You’ll be safe down here,” he tries to assure me. “You know where everything is, just try to remember to count your steps or you’ll end up at the shower instead of at the toilet.”
“That happened one time,” I giggle.
“I’ll be back before you know it.”
“I doubt that.”
“I know—”
“BOY! NOW!”
“Luke—”
“You’ll be fine.”
“I was just going to… wish you luck and tell you to be careful.”
“Oh… thanks.” He squeezes my hand before getting up from the bed.
I watch his shadow as he walks toward the stairs. He doesn’t say a word as he leaves. The sound of the locks engaging is the only thing I hear before I’m thrust back into complete silence. I haven’t been down here alone before—Luke has always been with me. I hear a door slam from upstairs and then a loud car starting. Instantly, I remember waking, tied up in the back of his loud van after he took me. It feels like so long ago… I think it’s only been three days. Maybe it’s been longer?
There’s no way to tell time down here, no way to tell if minutes or hours pass when Luke is gone. I’m tempted to take another shower, just to pass time, but I’m worried that if I do and he comes back, I won’t hear him until it’s too late. Despite his promise, what if Luke doesn’t win tonight? What if…
I shake my head, trying to focus on anything else. I hate that I’m so weak. I hate that I cry myself to sleep every night, whereas Luke is stronger than I ever could be, even though he’s been trapped down here for almost a year. Why can’t I be strong like he is? How did he stay so strong all these months? How has he not given up? Part of me keeps hoping that one of these days someone will come and rescue us. But the other part of me thinks that if no one has come for Luke in all these months, they’re never going to come.
The sound of the locks disengaging immediately has me up and facing the steps. The door opens and for those few seconds, I don’t make a sound—not even to breathe. It’s not until I hear the locks engaging again that I take a breath. I immediately head towards the stairs, careful to count along the way—I need to be sure I’m heading in the right direction.
“Em?”
“Luke! Are you okay?”
“Yeah…” He takes my hand as soon as he’s close enough and I’m immediately relieved simply by his touch.
“I… gotta get cleaned up—”
The light, that hasn’t been on since that night, suddenly flickers on, and surprisingly, stays on. I gasp at the sight of Luke. His eye is nearly swollen shut, his lip is split, cuts cover his knuckles and he has bruises around his neck.
“I’m fine.”
“Bullshit,” I snap. “Where’s the first aid kit?”
“Under the stairs, I’ll—”
“No, go wash up and I’ll grab it.”
“There’s a little shelf under the steps…it’s there.”
I quickly find the small first aid kit and head back towards the bed where Luke is now waiting for me. His gaze, from his injured eye follows me as I get closer to him. It’s not until I’m close enough that I realize just where he’s looking.
In complete darkness, it’s easy to forget you’re walking around in only a pair of panties. I try to cover as much as I can when we go to the gym, but I know they both end up getting a glimpse of my chest. I quickly fold my arms, trying to cover myself in some small way. He blushes and immediately looks away in realization that he was caught.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, still not looking at me.
I just shrug. What else can I say? It’s not like I haven’t looked at him when we’ve been in the gym. Watching him lift weights or run on the treadmill, in just a pair of shorts…it’s kind of impossible not to look. When you’re otherwise trapped in darkness, you try to memorize everything about the person you’re with when given the chance to actually see them. So, yeah, I kind of get why he was staring at my bare chest.
“We should—”
“I can do it.” He tries to take the box, but I hold onto it. He’s obviously much stronger than me, so he still could take it if he wanted to.
“Let me.” I sit on the mattress and wait for him to follow. He sighs but eventually joins me.
“Thanks.”
“Does it hurt?” I carefully clean his split open knuckles with an alcohol wipe.
He shrugs.
“You won?”
“Yeah.”
I go through the motions, cleaning each of his knuckles and other various cuts on his arms. His ribs are bruised and he hisses when I even get close to them. I feel like I should say something, but I have no idea what. So, instead, I focus on taking care of him the way he did me the first night.
The light goes out without warning, and Luke immediately grabs my hand; I think he’s reminding me that he’s here, so I don’t freak out again. I squeeze his hand back, appreciating his concern.
“I almost forgot.” I feel him moving his arm around the bed. “This is for you.”
“What is it?”
“A shirt—”
“Really?!?!” I can’t believe I’m this excited about a damn shirt.
“Don’t get too excited…it’s thin and completely see-through.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Why do you think he does that?”
“Does what?”
“He…he cut my bra off, makes me come upstairs with you, knowing I’m only in…underwear, and now gives me a see-through shirt to wear?”
“I don’t know. I stopped trying to make sense out of what he does a long time ago.”
“It’s like he wants—”
“Don’t try to figure out what he wants or what he’s thinking!” he snaps.
“Oh.”
“I’m going to take a shower.”
Before I can respond, he’s walking away. I grab the shirt that he tossed on the bed; the material feels as thin as I expected, and I can almost feel how see through the material is. What I hadn’t considered though, is that since it’s so thin, it could easily tear. Something tells me if it does, I’ll be punished. Just the thought of his hands on me again almost has me vomiting the little food that’s in my stomach. I place the thin shirt near the bed, deciding to just wear it when we go upstairs or if the light comes on down here again.
Sliding onto the mattress, I lie as close to the stone wall as I can, hoping that whatever the reason I ended up pressed against Luke last night, doesn’t happen tonight. A few minutes later, the mattress dips when he sits down. He sighs heavily before lying down.
“You okay?” It’s a stupid question because, of course, he’s not okay, but I can’t stand the sudden silence between us. I don’t know what’s going on; things feel awkward now—almost like that first night I was here.
“Yeah.”
He rolls over, facing away from me, effectively ending the conversation. I chalk up his mood to tonight’s fight. I don’t even want to think about how difficult it was for him or what he had to do to win. I close my eyes and try to think of something else. As much as I miss my dad, thinking of him settles me. I think of the last time he made a fire in the backyard, the night we camped out under the stars and stayed nearly the entire night. Before I know it, sleep finds me much easier than I expected it to.
He’s holding me down, pinning me to the mattress!
I can’t get up! I can’t move!
He’s too strong for me. I can’t move him!
Where’s Luke? Why isn’t he stopping him?
I try to scream, but his filthy hand is over my mouth, crushing my lips.
“He can’t help you anymore.” He forces my head to the side, pushing it into the mattress. Luke is hanging from the same pipe I was that night. Oh My God! He’s bleeding—blood is dripping from his chest, his legs, his face and even his…
“You’re mine now!” He pushes against me, his jeans the only things stopping him from… going inside of me.
I try screaming for Luke, but he’s hanging there, completely lifeless. Did he kill him? How did I not wake up when he pulled Luke from the bed? How did I sleep through him whipping Luke until he bled so bad? Did Luke fight last night? Are we both being punished because he lost? Why can’t I remember last night?
“He’s not going to be able to save you now!”
In one quick move, my hands are above my head, held there by the hand that was over my mouth. I’m screaming for Luke, begging to be let go, begging for anyone to stop what’s about to happen. When his hand reaches between us to unbutton his pants, I know no one is coming to help.
“EM! EM! You’re safe… Shhhhhh,” I wake up to find myself wrapped around Luke again, only this time we’re facing each other. I try to push away, but he simply holds me against him.
“I…what…I…”
“Shhhhhh.”
I’m shaking, practically panting, against Luke, but he doesn’t let me go. I can’t get the image of him hanging from the pipe out of my head, the blood dripping from so many parts of his body and the idea that he was dead. I stop trying to push away from him and, instead, focus on trying to get those images out of my mind. I focus on his calm breathing, his soft mummers telling me I’m okay and the circles he’s gently rubbing into my back.
“I…I’m…sorry,” I manage to get out between breaths.
“It’s okay.”
“I…I had…a…”
“I know. You had one last night, too.”
Oh.
Luke gently moves the hair that had fallen on my face to behind my ear, and even in the complete darkness, I can feel his eyes on me. His fingers tangle in my hair, not yet pulling away. He’s never touched me like this before…there’s something about this touch that’s comforting.
“Want to talk about it?”
I squeeze my eyes closed and shake my head, not wanting to remember the nightmare. It felt so real—it still feels so real. I can still feel the weight of his body on mine, the fear of what he had done to Luke, the fear of what he was going to do to me. I shiver against Luke at the memory.
“It’s okay.”
“He…he had hurt you,” I finally voice the images still burned in my memory.
“Em.”
“It was…I couldn’t…he held me…”
“Shhhhh.”
“I couldn’t stop him…he was going to…”
“He’s not down here. It’s just you and me.”
“It felt… so real. Every time I close my eyes, he’s down here again.”
“Try to get some sleep. I’ll stay awake—”
“No, you need to rest. Especially after the fight.”
“Just sleep. I won’t let him hurt you.”
“Luke…”
“Sleep, Em.” He places a light kiss on my temple, so light that I have to question if it even happened.
He holds me like that, all night, even though I know the position couldn’t have been comfortable on his ribs. When I tried to suggest that I was okay to sleep on my own, he refused and continued to just hold me. Eventually, I fell asleep, though I have no idea how long it took me to do so. All I know is when the locks disengaged with our breakfast delivery, I would have jumped out of the bed if it weren’t for Luke still holding me.