“Dammit!”
Jackie slammed the cabinet shut, then kicked it for good measure. Her hands trembled so bad she’d dropped three of the four glasses she’d pulled out from under the bar.
Without giving much thought to what she was doing, she let the fourth glass fall to the ground. It shattered and felt good. It felt so good to watch it break apart, for the shards to scatter.
They matched her wrecked nerves from her encounter with Mac earlier.
She’d gone home before coming in to work. The first thing she’d done was strip naked and grab the small wand vibrator.
She’d wanted to come so bad, but she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t make it happen. She got right up to the edge and couldn’t make herself go over.
For the first time since she could remember, she couldn’t get herself off.
Beyond frustrated, she’d tossed the toy to the end of the bed.
In the shower, she’d tried to use the detachable shower head. Still nothing.
After pacing around the rooms of her house feeling like a caged animal, she’d gotten dressed for work a few hours early. Katz would open in less than thirty minutes and now she had a shit ton of glass to sweep up.
“This is why I didn’t want a man in my life,” she said. Out loud. To the empty club. “Men are the only ones who can screw women up like this.”
Okay so that wasn’t the real truth. She’d had plenty of lesbian friends who had been messed up by other women. Teased and tempted and left on the edge, on the verge and unable to get over and off on their own.
Sex was complicated when others were involved.
Vibrators did their job without leaving her hanging for several hours afterward.
Well, that was if the batteries were new or were charged up. If not …
“I’m losing my mind.”
“Where’d you leave it?”
Jackie’s head snapped up. “Trae. What are you doing here? How’d you get in?”
“I’m here to see you and I walked through the front door. It was unlocked.”
“Shit.” Anyone could’ve walked in. Mac could’ve walked in.
“You okay, doll? You look kind of out of it.”
“Gee, thanks.” Trae shrugged. He didn’t mean anything by it and she knew that. She felt out of it, so she could only imagine she looked it, too. “I dropped a couple glasses down here. Call me Mrs. Butterfingers.”
“That all?”
“Isn’t that enough? What are you trying to ask? Just do it. We don’t beat around the bush, you and I.”
“True. Okay. What’s up with you and the cop?”
“Nothing.”
“Oh? You had that ready for me. Wanna tell me the truth? And where’s the broom?”
“Storage closet. First door on the right in the hallway.”
He walked away from the bar, disappeared from sight. Jackie took a quick breath. She had to get herself together. She had to rein it all in so no one would see what Trae had. She could hide her frazzled emotions from most people, but those closest to her would know she was faking it. Her acting abilities were limited to the bedroom. Her past clients never realized she faked it all the time. For the right price, she could fake anything they wanted.
Trae returned with the broom and dust pan. “Stand right there,” he said and began to sweep up the shards of glass at her feet. “You can talk while I do this.”
“Don’t suppose I could get you to drop it, could I?”
“Nope. We don’t work like that either.”
“He’s in love with me.” There. She said it. Out loud. To someone other than herself or Jaz.
“And how do you feel?”
“I don’t know.”
“I think you do. You don’t get involved in anything without knowing how you feel about it first.”
“We’re not involved.”
He shook his head, dismissing her declaration. “That’s bullshit.”
“It’s not.”
“Look,” he said, turning to her. He leaned on the handle of the broom and not for the first time in the years she’d known him, she wished she could feel something more for him than friendship. He was gorgeous, but he was also the most tender-hearted man she’d ever met. “There’s clearly involvement between you and the cop. What’s his name again? Mark?”
“Mac,” she corrected.
“Right. Mac. The way he looks at you? The way you watched him when he left? You no longer cared to be at Vinter’s. So, tell me the truth. How do you feel about him?”
“I think I could love him.”
“Could or do?”
“We’ve never been together, so I’m not sure how I could be.”
“Takes more than sex, doll. You of all people know that.”
“Are you done?” Her voice sounded clipped and exasperated to her own ears, but Trae just snickered at her. “I don’t know how I feel. That’s the truth. I don’t know. I’ve never loved anyone like that. I’ve sure as shit never been in love.”
“But?”
“It would be him,” she admitted. “At first sight, too.”
“That’s what I thought. What are you going to do about it?”
“Are you here to play matchmaker? I thought you were here to finally meet Jaz?”
“I can do both. I’m talented like that. A multi-tasker.”
It was Jackie’s turn to laugh. He was smooth as honey and the woman he ended up with be hard pressed to dismiss him. “I have a job to do, Trae.”
“And after?”
“He’s on duty.” She outright lied to her friend. Maybe. For all she knew, Mac would work a double shift. She’d never, ever admit that she’d tried to get him to take her earlier and he made her believe he would give in, but didn’t. She would never tell anyone that he made her leave without taking her up on her offer.
Part of her loved that he didn’t. He didn’t see her as easy. She mattered to him. There was a time and a place to take a woman up on a fuck. Mac was smart enough to know that she was baiting him, pushing him to prove something to herself. Their first time was worth more than her using him for that kind of thing.
She sighed. “Dammit.”
“You know I can tend bar.”
“I’m not leaving you in my club. Besides, he’s working.”
“But you’ll go see him after work?”
“I don’t think so, Cupid. I think he’ll need to come to me when he’s ready.” Trae grinned and waggled his brows at her when she called him Cupid. He was so silly, so light. Trevor was the gruff asshole brother. He didn’t have a humorous bone in his body. He didn’t have an unyielding one, either.
“Suit yourself, but don’t sell yourself short.” Trae pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “That man would be lucky to have you on his arm or in his bed. You’re amazing.”
A kiss to her temple and her arms sliding around Trae’s back ended with the slamming of the club door.
She needed to lock that sucker.
Mac’s cologne hung in the air around the entryway and when she pushed her way outside, he was on his bike, roaring out of the gravel lot. She stood stock still, hands on her hips, glaring after him.
“I don’t think he liked that scene,” Trae said from behind her. “Then again, maybe a little jealousy is a good thing sometimes.”
“Not helping.” Jackie stomped back inside the darkened club. She flipped the lights on. It was near time to open and she’d be grateful for the distraction of people.
“At least you know he’s not at work now.” Trae called after her. “You going after him?”
“Nope. And jealousy isn’t a good thing. He has nothing to be jealous of.”
“He may not know that.”
“He does. I told him.”
“When?”
Shit. She walked right into that one. “When I saw him earlier. He asked about you and me and I said there was no you and me and that was all. Can we drop it now, please?” Her pussy was on fire and she was having to rationalize why Mac shouldn’t be jealous to find her in another man’s arms when not two hours ago, she’d been in Mac’s arms trying to get him to fuck her.
He had every right to be pissed at her. He had every right thinking she would go to someone else when he kicked her out of the jail cell and out of the station. He said he’d see her later and it was later, but when he saw her? She was in Trae’s embrace with his lips touching her.
She was doing her level best to mess things up.
At the same time, she’d had no idea Mac would show up right then. She’d had no idea when he’d show up. So, she couldn’t beat up on herself for the innocent scene he walked in on.
But she would. At least until she had a chance to explain.
“I can handle the bar until your normal guy gets here.”
Jackie slanted him a look that he knew well, though he laughed it off. “Not a chance. I am not giving you access to my liquor or my girls.”
“I think you’re judging me a little too harsh.”
“I don’t think I am. You’re all sweet and charming on the outside, but you’re a dirty one on the inside.”
“How would you know that? Who’s been talking?”
“All the girls back where you come from.”
“That’s just so wrong, doll.”
“And yet …”
“Hey what time does the club open?”
Jackie shook her head at the additional voice. Trevor. Great. He was a good guy. A little overprotective, but a good guy.
“Soon. So, pick a table out and go have a seat.”
“Where’s your southern hospitality?”
“Roared out of here a few minutes ago on that sweet ass bike we saw back at Vinter’s earlier.”
“Oh.”
“Y’all could leave,” Jackie said. She was near begging at this point. She needed some time in her own head. She needed to figure out how she wanted to deal with Mac. Other than, well, naked.
Could that be all it was? Could it all be pent up sexual frustration from wanting him for so long and only being satisfied with vibrators and her own fantasies? She’d come so close in the cell and that only added to the desires coursing through her.
No one knew that just one whiff of his cologne and her panties dampened. Or that his voice alone made her stomach flutter.
Mac was the one for her. At least the one for her body. Anything else? She mentally shook herself. He said one night.
Tonight was that night.
“Trevor?”
“Yeah?”
“Watch the bar for me, will ya?”
“You trust him over me?” Trae asked, a stunned look on his face. It was fake. God, she knew them so well.
“I do. He won’t hit on every waitress that needs an order filled. And he’ll clean up whatever mess he makes.”
“I don’t make messes,” Trevor stated. “That gene pool landed on him.”
Jackie laughed. Since deciding, once and for all, that it was now or never with Mac, she felt lighter. Like a boulder had been lifted. One way or another, she’d know if Mac was more than her fantasy.
She glanced at Trae before bending to grab her purse from under the bar. “You know he’s not wrong. You’re a perpetual frat boy.”
“That’s cruel. I was never a frat boy.”
“They wouldn’t have you?”
“Shut up. I’ll prove y’all wrong. All of you.”
Jackie and Trevor stood back. Trae picked up the broom and started in the glass shards they hadn’t finished with before Mac slammed out of the club.
“You missed some,” Trevor pointed out.
“I’m not done, asshole.”
“Just tryin’ to help.”
“I can manage this all on my own.”
“Sure you can. I got this,” Trevor said to Jackie. “Go do what you need to do. Everything here will be just fine.”
“Don’t give him too hard a time,” she replied, nodding toward Trae. “I know this is hard on him.”
Trae had a crush on her. Had ever since Mandi introduced them years back. They were younger than she and Mandi by a bit. Jackie thought Trae would’ve grown out of it after all this time, but she could see in his eyes that he hadn’t.
Neither of them had ever spoken about his feelings. And she didn’t want to be the one to bring it up. He played it off by joking and teasing and supporting whatever she wanted.
“Why haven’t y’all come to see Mandi before now?”
“You know part of the answer to that one.”
Trevor’s response confirmed it. “And the other part?”
He shrugged. “Giving her time to be on her own without us hanging around scaring off her boyfriends.”
He had a point. For being younger, they had always given Mandi’s boyfriends a hard fucking time. They never let any one of them get too comfortable for too long. Their philosophy being that if the guy couldn’t handle Mandi’s brothers being up in their business, then he wasn’t anywhere near good enough to handle Mandi.
Jackie agreed. It’s how she felt about Jaz and any woman who ever expressed interest in him. Except Mandi. Those two were different yet similar and would end up at the altar one day.
“Okay, I’ll check in later.”
“If you want. Otherwise, I’m sure we can handle things.”
She planned to call Jaz just in case. Yes, Trevor and Trae could handle anything that came their way. They bickered like two old ladies, but would do anything for her, including make sure her club still stood by the end of the night.
They’d worked in a bar to pay for their half of the garage they owned. They’d done all sorts of odd jobs over the years before their restoration business took off.
Both were bartenders, licensed and certified. Both were bouncers, too. Or had been. Her club couldn’t have been in better hands. Well, except for Mandi and Jaz. They’d be able to run things with their eyes closed.
She edged around the bar and out the front door.
“Mac.”
“Where are you goin’?”
“To see you.”
“I’m here.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m an idiot.”
“Yes.”
“Hop on.”
“Do you want to talk?”
“Was that why you were coming to see me?”
“Yes. And no.”
“We can talk after.”
Could they? Would they be able to? Doubts prickled through her mind, but looking at him astride his bike ... Jeans tight against his thighs. Boots dusty from the dirt and gravel of the club’s parking lot. Eyes blocked from view by sunglasses. And that gold chain that never left his neck.
Until that moment, she’d never wondered about it, but the sun caught it just right and blinded her for a split second. “Who gave you the chain you wear?” It was the only piece of jewelry she’d ever seen on him other than his badge.
His fingers immediately touched the gold at his throat. “It belonged to my grandfather. It once held a pocket watch.”
“What happened to the watch?”
“My mother has it. The clasp broke and I asked if I could have the chain.”
“Were you close?”
“Yes.”
“What would he think of me?”
“You mean that you were a stripper?”
“I was a hooker, too, Mac.”
“Why are you so hung up on that? Why do you think I give a shit about it or that any of us do? Have any of us judged you? You have one of the most profitable businesses Northeastern Georgia and in parts of Southeastern Tennessee. No one who knows your past, cares about it. They care about you.”
“But none of them want to sleep with me.”
“What’s it going to take? Hmm? What? Tell me and I’ll fucking do it.”
Every time it was like this with them. With her. She wanted him and didn’t want him to focus on her having been a prostitute for a while, yet she continued to bring it up. She focused on it.
“Hop on, Jackie. Let’s go for a ride.”
She nodded and had the silly notion of being Jennifer Grey’s Baby to Patrick Swayze’s Jonny in Dirty Dancing. In reality, she was more Penny than Baby. She knew how the world worked, but so did Mac. Only they knew things from different sides of the law.
She walked with purpose to the bike, slung her purse across her body, and slid onto the seat behind Mac.
Her spread thighs cradled his ass and hugged his hips. “Shouldn’t I wear a helmet?”
“Won’t take long to get where we’re going. Besides, you’re with law enforcement. Hold on to me.”
She did. She would. She’d hold on as hard and as long as he’d let her.