Curled up in the trunk of my car, my back protested with loud creaks as I turned and twisted. My hand flailed absently for my cell phone, but I was pretty much blind. Summoning the energy to open my eyes seemed beyond me even as the rest of my body wormed around.
After sleeping in my car what’d I expect? The rhetorical question made me groan before my fingers slid across glass.
7:42 in the morning. Dropping my phone, I let out a deep, hard sigh before bringing my fists to my eyes. The backlight had nearly scorched my retinas when I managed to crack my eyelids apart. Compared to the darkness around me, my phone’s light was blinding and only served to make me more miserable.
It was a distraction from my own thoughts, at least.
“Oh-h… I need some coffee…” My arms shook as I lifted myself to sit, and my fingers were weak as they combed through my bed head. “I should’ve asked Ryan if he was open for breakfast.”
At the memory of that giant, mountain of pure man, my cheeks blazed and my heart skipped in my chest. I wasn’t naive, and I certainly wasn’t a virgin. He was too handsome for any woman not to swoon over, but I had no regrets. Maybe it was the wine I’d had on such an empty stomach. What made it worse was that he knew he was handsome and never tried to step over ‘the line.’
Stretching out my legs and toes, I grimaced at my own decision. Cramps prickled up and down my legs, and my back ached something fierce. Grumbling to myself, I slowly picked up the pieces of my mind.
After a few minutes of sorting myself out, I climbed to the front of my car and dropped heavily in the driver’s seat. The air rushed from my lungs in a groan, and I draped my arms over the steering wheel. Stories about people going cross country and feeling perfectly comfortable sleeping in cars were overly embellished, I decided.
“How does anyone function without coffee…?” Driving slowly down the main street, my complaints echoed throughout the Jeep’s spacious interior. There was no way a person could wake up every day and not drink coffee. Nibbling on my bottom lip, I bit down as my free foot tapped against the rest that sat on the far left of the pedals. My fingers tightened on the wheel, and I glanced once again at my GPS through narrowed eyes. The thing had just spoken in its electronic female voice, but I was growing more and more impatient by the second.
I needed my coffee.
“This is my aunt’s… cabin…?” My squeak came out loud, and high pitched as I dipped my head to stare out the windshield. “Talk about unreliable information!”
The beautiful, large structure that stood majestically at the back end of town was nothing like I had envisioned. ‘Cabin’ had a certain ring to it, I knew, but this house was too glorified. It was bigger even than the house I’d grown up in, and my apartment could fit inside it three times, at least. Massive, beautiful oak trees shadowed the front of the house, but their leaves had yet to grow in. On either side of the wide driveway were stone walls that led all the way up the hundred feet or so to the front deck. Freshly stained a dark red, theplatform was gated in a low railing of the same color. The space between the spokes looked just small enough to keep a baby from crawling off the side.
It’s a vacation house meant for two dozen people- which was about exactly how many people were in my family. The thought shocked me, and I sucked in air through my teeth with a sharp whistle.
“Oh, Auntie Rachel…” Guilt instantly swamped my feelings of astonishment, and I flexed my fingers around the steering wheel. Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes, and my chest tightened to constrict my heart as it beat harder and harder.
I wasn’t close with my Aunt- not like I should’ve been. It was something I had regretted, and now that had only increased a hundred-fold.
My gaze hadn’t even landed on the actual house yet, but already doubt was seeping into the crevices of my brain. Everything was paid for; Auntie Rachel had set aside money for this place. It was enough for a lifetime of taxes and bills. Selling this house wasn’t just because I would never use it. I wanted the money she’d left behind with it because if there were no cabin, it would be released to me.
All the ideas I had about that sum, from saving it to going back to school, were suddenly out of reach.
“Wanting the money doesn’t make me a horrible person.” Trying to justify what I was doing only made my throat constrict further, but I shook my head violently. Auntie Rachel wouldn’t care about the house, but the things that happened inside it. She cares more about family than stuff and money. That’s why this house is here in the first place.
“Besides… she knew I wanted to go back to school. I would never ask her for money. I can make enough of it myself. She had to know I would rather sell this place.” The more I talked, the more nauseous I felt, so I just clamped my lips together. That didn’t stop the thoughts that swarmed me, though.
Jumping out of my car, I shoved my keys into my purse with a sinking feeling in my gut that I couldn’t shake. Casting my eyes on what stood beyond the porch, there was a tenseness that coiled tight between my shoulder blades. Soft green siding the color of young grass wrapped around the entire structure, and all of the window frames were painted sky blue. Only two stories, the house wasn’t nearly as tall as it was wide. Slated brown tiles clung to the roof, and the gutters were shiny and glistening in the sun.
“Someone must come take care of this house…” My aunt had died long enough ago that signs of wear and inattention would’ve been obvious by now. Taking a deep breath, I pushed myself up the stairs to the porch and frowned when they didn’t creak.
Now I regretted not taking up Auntie Rachel’s offer to come here for a summer. I was so busy with school and then work that I had always declined, no matter how politely. Even before graduating high school I spent my summers in programs, but now I could see that was a mistake.
Death really put things into perspective even if it was too late to change.
Inside the house was incomprehensibly stunning, and I stood at the threshold of the front door with my mouth touching the floor. Massive, rustic wooden beams served as walls and crisscrossed along the ceiling of the first floor. The open plan caused everything to come into view, but I turned to the kitchen first. I wasn’t talented with food, but even I could appreciate the marvel of the room. Gray and white marble coated the counters that stretched along three walls. The refrigerator still had its manufacture’s seal wrapped around its stainless-steel bulk. There wasn’t one, or even two, doors, but three, and even if I held out my arms as far as I could, my fingertips wouldn’t touch the hinges.
There wasn’t a single speck of dust in sight, and my gaze slid over a large island to the stove. It took up half the back wall, with twelve burners and five oven doors of varying sizes.
A lot of people were meant to be fed by this kitchen. The thought came with a wash of sadness, and it translated to a deep frown that spread across my face. My shoes were quiet against the dark stained hardwood that covered the floor as I shuffled to the living room.
Huge couches, even larger chairs, oversized bean bags, everything was arranged to make use of the space that was easily the size of my entire apartment. Soft carpet replaced the hardwood, but they were the same color, so it barely made a difference. The large sectional couches were not only long, but they had enough depth that only my feet would hang off the edge. Bean bags were scattered between the semi-circular sofas, and for the most part anyone in this room would be facing another person.
Everything looked brand new like it had never realized its purpose.
“Wow…” My voice crackled, and I blinked only to feel something wet drop down my cheek. Clenching my jaw together, I wiped away the stray tear, but it wasn’t the first. More fell as my throat closed, a thick lump blocking me from breathing. Behind my ribs, my heart pumped so furiously it hurt as if it was punishing me. Clutching my chest, my hand shook as I gasped for air.
Maybe I am horrible…