Chapter Thirteen
With Tommy in his arms, Mason headed for the door the moment he heard the sound of a car out front. It wasn’t Savannah. The first man who got out of the dark sedan was someone Mason had not anticipated ever seeing again. When Grady Judd emerged from the passenger seat, Mason knew beyond all doubt that life was about to change.
He opened the door and stepped back for the men to enter. “Clay,” he offered his hand to the older man in the dark suit. The man cut a look at Tommy before taking Mason’s hand.
“This is new.”
Mason shook Clay’s hand. “Come on in.”
He waited for Grady to enter and shook Grady’s hand. Grady grinned at Tommy. “Hey there, little man.” He then looked at Mason. “I heard the news. How’re you handling it?”
“Not exactly in the winner’s circle yet.”
“It’ll get easier.” Grady patted him on the shoulder and then held out his hands. “How ’bout letting Uncle Grady have a turn?”
“Please.” Mason let Grady take the baby and then he turned his attention to Clay Winters.
“I didn’t expect to see you again, Clay.”
“I didn’t expect to be here, but a situation has arisen.”
Mason cut a look at Grady before speaking again. “I’m guessing it has something to do with Russia if the two of you are here, so let’s have it. Have a seat.”
Everyone took a seat. “We believe the Russians are supplying North Korea and our intelligence all leads back to one of your assets who won’t talk to anyone but you.”
“I’m out of the game.” Mason was surprised how hard it was to force those words from his lips. Despite the pain he’d suffered and the danger he knew was part of the job, he loved the excitement.
“You’re never really out,” Grady said and tempered his words with a smile. “We both know that.”
Mason did know and regardless of that tiny voice reminding him he had quit for a reason and that going back to his former life was inviting pain, suffering, or death, he was filled with excitement at the prospect.
Then he looked at Tommy. “I can’t just leave him. He’s my son.”
“What about Savannah?” Grady asked.
Mason thought about what he’d read in her diary. “I can’t answer for her.”
“Then ask.” Clay said, rather than asked. “Because we need you. If we can find out when the next shipment is planned, Grady’s team can subvert those plans and take out whoever is responsible, and we need to do that before it’s too late and they’re in possession of a warhead capable of going the distance.”
Mason understood what Clay meant by that statement and knew he didn’t have much of a choice. Too many lives were at stake. “And what do I tell Savannah?”
“You’ll think of something.”
That answer annoyed Mason. “Look, I’m not going to concoct some lie. You want me to ask her to be responsible for my child so I can go do something that might get me killed. I need to prepare for that and I can’t without being honest, so either I tell her the truth and see if she’s willing to be listed as Tommy’s guardian if I don’t return or I don’t go. It’s that simple.”
“I don’t think—”
“I’m with Mason,” Grady interrupted. “He has to protect his son and this is the only way. Besides, I think she’s trustworthy.”
“So do I,” Mason added.
“Excuse me.” Clay got up and walked outside.
When they were alone, Mason looked at Grady. “She’s had a lot of pain in her life and me asking her to take Tommy might just be the hardest thing I could ask of her.”
“Then ask me and Charli. We’ll take him.”
“No. Charli is going to be upset enough about you leaving. And you have your own family to consider. I’ll talk to Savannah first and see what she says.”
“You care about her.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. Mason could have lied, but he and Grady went back a long way and had never lied to one another.
“I do.”
“She seems like a good woman.”
Just then, the door opened. “You have the green light.” Clay didn’t bother entering. “And you have twenty-four hours before wheels up.”
Mason nodded and stood. Grady got up and handed Tommy to Mason. It was then Mason realized the baby had not made a peep the whole time he’d been in Grady’s arms. “How you do that? Make him quiet, I mean?”
“Babies know if you’re nervous and nail you on it, man. You just gotta be confident.”
“From your lips.”
Grady smiled. “You can do it.”
Mason nodded and watched the men leave, then sat down and placed Tommy on his legs with the child facing him. He was a beautiful baby. Mason felt the first stab of guilt. How could he be so eager to run off and leave his son?
Moreover, how could he be contemplating asking a woman he barely knew to potentially become his child’s guardian?
And finally, how in the heck was he going to explain this to Savannah?
*****
As she drove home, Savannah thought about her life and the decisions she’d made of late.
Getting a divorce was what she wanted and she didn’t regret it, but she also didn’t feel like Savannah Harper anymore. She didn’t want to continue using Tim’s name. On impulse, she put in a call to Lily, who answered on the third ring. “Hi, Lily, it’s Savannah. I’m sorry to bother you on the weekend, but I have a quick question.”
“Okay, shoot.”
“How long would it take for me to drop my married name?”
“You want to go back to your maiden name?”
“Yes.”
“I can have that done in thirty days.”
“Then please do.”
“Okay, I’ll have Mary give you a call when we need you to sign.”
“Thanks, Lily.”
Savannah thought about her decision. She wrote under the name Savannah Dean. Dean was her father’s name. Dean Kinsey. Maybe she should have chosen that as her name? No. She’d become Savannah Kinsey again. Yes, that was it. She’d honor her dad by keeping his name and dumping Tim’s.
Caught up in her own thoughts, she didn’t realize she was almost at the turnoff to her home. Nor had she realized that the sky had grown quite dark, filled with ominous clouds.
By the time she pulled up in front of her little house, the wind was howling, rain was blowing in sheets, and thunder was booming. She got out and made a dash for the door, but was soaked to the skin by the time she reached it.
The first thing she saw when she stepped inside was Mason. He sat on the couch with Tommy lying beside him, sound asleep. In Mason’s hand was his phone. He set it aside and rose as she kicked off her shoes and hurried toward the kitchen.
Savannah plunked her purse on the table as she passed through the kitchen and then made her way to her room, whispering over her shoulder at him. “Looks like you got him to sleep after all.”
“I had help.”
“From who?” She opened a drawer in the dresser and took out yoga pants and a shirt.
“Grady.”
“Charli’s Grady?” she asked as she walked into the bathroom.
“Yeah.”
“So he just stopped by?” She left the door cracked and stood behind it to strip off her wet clothes.
“Sort of. Listen, can we talk?”
Something in his tone gave her pause. Literally. She stopped in mid-motion of pulling the top over her head and looked at her reflection in the mirror. What she saw was a woman with a pale face and nervous expression.
“Sure,” she answered with a good measure of trepidation. “What’s up?”
“Can you come out here?”
“Just a sec.” Savannah finished dressing, gathered up her wet clothes, and returned to the bedroom. “Let me put these in the laundry room.”
“Fine.”
Mason followed her as far as the kitchen. When she walked back into the kitchen, she looked out into the great room. “He’s sleeping pretty soundly.”
“Savannah.”
She turned at his voice. He pulled out a chair at the table. That made her feel a bit uncomfortable. Or maybe it was his expression. “What’s wrong?”
Mason slid a chair close to hers. “Grady was here with my…my ex-supervisor I guess is as good a word as any.”
“I thought you were a dancer?”
“I was. Kind of.” Mason took hold of her chair and turned it to face him. He then reached for her hand. “This is… this may sound a little…”
“For heaven’s sake, spit it out,” she snapped before she could stop herself and immediately felt bad. “I’m sorry, but please, just out with it, you’re making me nervous.”
“Not half as much as I am.”
That shocked her into changing her tone. “Okay, let’s start over. What do you want to talk about?”
“Me. You. Us.”
“I didn’t know there was an us.”
“Yes, you do,” he argued without rancor. “But it’s about me for starters. I haven’t been entirely honest with you.”
Dread bubbled to the surface. Past acerbity, leapfrogging selfishness, right to the front of the line where it could cause the most discomfort. “What do you mean?”
“I’m not really a dancer. I mean I am, but that wasn’t my real profession. I only do it as a cover.”
“Cover? For what?”
“I’m a clandestine officer of the Central Intelligence Agency, a NOC.”
“A nock?”
“Yes. A nonofficial cover agent.”
“Which is?”
“Basically NOCs are the most covert of the CIA’s operatives. We work abroad without diplomatic protection. My cover is a dancer, in productions and in clubs. It’s how I get close to women who get me where I need to be to collect information and pass it on.”
“You’re a…a spy?”
“Yes.”
Savannah felt the giggle spill out as the absurdity of the conversation hit. “A spy? Oh my God, Mason, if you want to get rid of me, just say it. You don’t have to make up some elaborate—”
“I’m not. It’s true. I trained and worked with Grady’s team for the last ten years in Russia, Europe, the Middle East, and South America.”
Savannah didn’t have a response. Her mind was in a whirl. Mason was a spy? This was unbelievable.
“Savannah?”
“I hear you. I just… I just don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything yet. Just hear me out.”
“Okay.” They had waded into fantasyland, so she might as well get the full ride on the crazy train.
“I have to leave—a mission. I’ll be working with Grady. It’s important and a lot of lives are at stake, but I have to leave in twenty-four hours.”
“Are you serious?” Suddenly she was starting to realize that he wasn’t concocting some elaborate ruse.
“Yes.”
She could see it in his eyes. Mason wasn’t lying and that scared her. “Will it be dangerous?”
“Yes.”
“As in people—you or Grady—could die?”
“Yes.”
At that moment, it hit her. The baby! “What about Tommy?”
Grady squeezed her hand. “That’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about, but first, you need to know that I read your diary and I know about your daughter.”
That brought a rush of tears she couldn’t stop and didn’t even try. She’d never stop grieving for her child. “She was the love of my life.”
“I’m so sorry, Savannah. Losing a child…that’s got to be the worst kind of loss. And I understand why it makes you hesitant to get involved with children. I understand and I don’t want to cause you pain, but I have to.”
“What do you mean?”
“I have to name a guardian for Tommy. Today. The CIA will have the paperwork written up and sent to an attorney here for signature. I have to find someone to take care of my son.”
“Until you get home.”
“Or until he’s grown.”
“Oh.” The enormity of it slapped her and she pushed back from him, breaking the connection of their hands. “Oh, God. You want me to take him.”
“Yes.”
“No.” She bolted to her feet and backed away. “I can’t. I—”
“Please.” Mason stood and closed in on her. “Savannah, please. I have to know he’s safe and there’s no one I trust as much as you.”
“How can you say that? We barely know one another.”
“That’s not true.” Mason took hold of her by her upper arms. “I know you’re kind and honest and you care about people and you’re capable of deep love and also of forgiveness to people who have wronged you in the worst way. I need to know my son has someone like that in his life.”
“Mason, I can’t. I’m… I’m scared.”
“Of?”
“Of all of it. I’ve already let myself care too much and I know I’ll suffer for it, but if I agree and you come back and take him away it will hurt too much to bear.”
She swiped at the fresh batch of tears. “And if you don’t come back, it’ll hurt too much to bear and I don’t know if I can be strong enough to be what he deserves.”
“I know you can. And I am coming back.”
“How can you know that?”
“I’ll know if you promise me I have something to come back for.”
“You mean Tommy?”
“And you. Look, I know it’s fast and maybe a little crazy, but I also know what I feel and you’re already in here.” He tapped his chest. “I’m coming back for you, Savannah. You and my son. Our son. If you’ll agree. Please. Take care of him for us until I come home.”
For us. Those words plucked at emotional strings so deftly that her resolve started to vanish like mist exposed to sunlight. Yet, Savannah was still terrified. She wanted to turn back the clock, to rewrite this day. A child and a man she loved; those were her deepest and most powerful wish. To have fate offer the realization of that dream in such a manner was frightening. It stood as much of a chance at becoming her worst nightmare as her biggest dream.
“I’m scared.”
“Me too.”
“Don’t go.” She clutched at that straw and at him. “Please. Don’t go.”
“If we don’t, the probability is high that millions of people could die. That our country, our world could see another war. We have to go, Savannah.”
“War?” Her legs almost collapsed beneath her, but Mason caught her.
“Please, Savannah. I need you.”
There it was. The three words she couldn’t refuse no matter how much she wished otherwise. Mason needed her and God help her, she loved him.
“Okay.”
“You’ll do it?”
“I will. Call whoever you need to call and tell them to write it up.”
“Thank—” He stopped suddenly. “No. That’s not the way to do it. Will you trust me?”
“I— Yes, I guess. Yes. Why?”
“Just stick with yes. I need you to go along with me on this.”
“On what?”
“On making sure that you and Tommy will always be safe even if the worst happens. That no one can take him from you. Will you trust me and do as I ask?”
Savannah wondered if she was about to make a huge mistake when she opened her mouth and let the word out. “Yes.”
“Then I need to make a call.”
With that, Mason went into the great room, snatched up his phone and walked outside. Savannah went into the room and sat down beside the couch, watching Tommy sleep.
What a precious child he was, so beautiful and innocent with hopefully a long full life ahead of him. Could she set aside her fear and give him what he needed? Flashes from the past came flooding in. She remembered giving Melody a bath that night.
She was still probably too young to truly focus on Savannah, but it seemed to her that Melody’s gaze stayed on her the entire time Savannah dried her little body, applied lotion, and then put her in a diaper and clean clothing.
There was nothing more precious than that moment when she lifted her child to her chest and cuddled her, inhaling the clean baby scent. It didn’t matter that that her husband, Tim, had nothing to do with their daughter, or her either, for that matter. All that mattered was Melody. She was Savannah’s life and Savannah felt blessed.
As was her habit, she took Melody to bed with her, nursed and burped her and held her until she was asleep. Then Savannah put her gently on the bed, covered her, and turned out the lights, reminding herself to take a photo and email it to her dad. He was allowed to have his emails printed out once a week, for a fee, and she sent him new photos of his granddaughter every week.
She fell asleep thinking about that and woke with a start, realizing that the room was becoming light. Savannah glanced at the clock. It was nearly seven. That was odd. Melody always woke for a five o’clock feeding.
“Hey, little sleepy head.” Savannah put her hand on Melody. “Time to wake up, sweet pea.”
The child didn’t even twitch. Savannah moved her hand to Melody’s head. The moment contact was made, horror and disbelief crashed over her. No. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. Savannah’s hand slid down to caress Melody’s cheek and it was just cold.
A scream welled up as her body started to shake. She scooped Melody’s cold body into her arms, bounded from the bed, and ran through the house, screaming for Tim. “Call 911. Tim, call 911!”
He ran out of his bedroom. “What’s wrong.”
“Melody. She’s not breathing. Call 911. Hurry.”
He turned and went back into his room. Savannah jiggled and bounded the baby in her arms. “Please, please, wake up. Breathe, baby. Please, breathe”
She heard Tim’s voice and a few moments later he returned to the hall. “An ambulance is on the way. Let me have her.”
“No!” Savannah turned her shoulder to him.
“Savannah, give her to me.”
“I said no!” Savannah ran into her room and sat down on the bed, rocking back and forth. “It’s okay, baby. Mommy’s here. You just have to wake up. Wake up for Mommy. Wake up. Please wake up.”
Minutes passed as she begged Melody to breathe and fought rising hysteria. When the doorbell rang, she clutched her child tighter. “Please, please, please.” It was an endless chant and the only word she was capable of, the only thought.
EMTs hurried into the room. “I’m going to need to take the baby, ma’am.” One of them leaned over beside Savannah.
“No.” Savannah couldn’t release the baby. If she did, it was over. As long as she held onto her, there was hope.
“Ma’am, you’re going to have to let us take the child. Please, if you want to help her—”
“Give the baby to them,” Tim demanded from the doorway, then walked in and wrestled Savannah’s arms from the child so the EMT could take her.
Savannah screamed and fought, trying to claw her way through Tim to reach her child.
“I’m sorry,” the EMT said. “She’s gone.”
She’s gone. Those two words rang with an endless echo in Savannah’s mind. Her head pounded and her breath ran out. It felt like someone was standing on her chest, compressing her lungs, and her heart was hammering an odd rhythm.
Was she dying? Savannah didn’t care. If Melody was gone, there was no longer a reason to live. She surrendered to the pain and felt the darkness embrace her.
Near panic filled her as she tore back from the memory. She didn’t think she could survive another loss like that. Losing Melody nearly killed her. If she were to lose another child…
“Savannah?” Mason’s voice had her looking up.
He knelt beside her, cupped her face, and kissed her tears. “It’s all arranged. They’ll be here within four hours.”
“They?”
“People being sent by the agency.”
“To do what?”
“Marry us.”
Time came to a screeching halt. There was no sound except the hammer of her heart in her chest, which seemed intent upon beating its way out of her body. “Marry?”
“Yes. And adopt Tommy. All the papers will be in order. No matter what happens, you and he will be safe and provided for.”
“Oh.” She was embarrassed now. She’d taken it all wrong. He wanted to marry her to protect his son. Not because he cared for her. Of course. He couldn’t be in love with her. That was foolish.
“So, this is to protect Tommy. Just a marriage in name and once you get back, what then? Will the CIA arrange for our divorce as well?”
He looked hurt and maybe she could have dismissed that if he hadn’t spoken. “Or maybe we could make it work?”
This was obviously a day for her to receive one surprise after another. “You would want to do that?”
“Wouldn’t you?”
“I— Well, I mean…” She looked into his eyes and melted. “God, yes. But you can’t be that interested in me.”
Mason shook his head. “You just don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?”
“That the truth is, I’m not good enough for you. You’re amazing, Savannah, and I fell for you that first day you came to take a lesson. When I dipped you and you looked up for me, I fell. Hard, fast, and fully.”
“Really?”
“Really. So, what do you say? Will you marry me, Savannah? And when I get home maybe we can make it something that will last a lot longer than a day.”
“Well, since you asked so nicely…” She smiled at him. “How could I refuse?”