It had been hours since our last update on Mom’s condition. I poured myself another cup of coffee, putting in enough sugar to give me the energy to continue sitting upright this early into the morning. Glancing at the clock on the wall, I noted it had already slipped past two o’clock. They had to finish the surgery soon, right?

Kyle glowered at me from the corner, the same as he’d done since we reached the waiting room. Trying to hold back my sigh, I prepared a second cup of coffee and walked toward him. I sat without invitation, holding the cup to him. We certainly had to talk about Damian. My brother was unhappy.

“Think you can buy me off with coffee?” He sneered and folded his arms together. “Just like your husband, huh? Gifts fix everything. Didn’t know you were cool with making a fool of our family now, Isabelle. Letting that bastard pay for Mom’s bills? California changed you.”

When he didn’t accept my peace offering, I set his coffee on the nearby end table. “I should have talked to you all about Damian earlier. He didn’t mean to upset us. He was trying to help make Mom and Dad’s life easier. The whole family was so offended, and I felt like I had to stay angry with him too, but I should have defended him instead. He’s paying Mom’s medical bills to make sure she gets the best care out there. Money talks, unfortunately. He wants to help her recover.”

“Yeah, a real bleeding heart, your husband. You know, you should be angry with him about before. We aren’t in the wrong. He put us down. He thinks our poor lifestyle is beneath him, so he tried to make our parents look better for his precious campaign.”

I shook my head. “Kyle, it’s not like that. He was so excited about how nice and fun our family is, he just wanted to help. He’s worried about Mom and Dad working so much at their age. He’s never been the part of a real, loving family, and he just wanted to make things better for everyone. It was his way of becoming part of this family, of caring for us.”

Shame overcame me. I’d let myself be so blind. Sure, I felt I’d had every right to be mad at Damian at first. He wouldn’t listen to me and had broken my trust. I’d felt like I hadn’t been important enough for him to respect my opinion that day when I warned him Mom and Dad would be offended by his gifts.

That wasn’t on Damian, though. I realized that now. It was all my own stupid shit. My insecurities and my overwhelming fears just got in the way of the first real relationship I’d ever had. Damian hadn’t done anything wrong. The poor man wanted to be part of a family so badly, and that was his way of taking care of people he had already started to care about.

More than anyone in my family, I knew him, knew how much he wanted the love of a family. I’d seen the way his father operated first hand, witnessed the chill in the air and the constant fights whenever he was with his parents. I could totally understand why he had felt so alone when he was with them.

All Damian had wanted was to belong. He didn’t look at money the same way as us. He hadn’t realized he’d hurt Dad’s pride, making him feel like Damian thought he couldn’t take care of his own family. In Damian’s world, people were only too happy to take from each other. That was how business deals worked in his world.

The problem was, now that I was finally thinking again, realizing what Damian had been trying to do, I still had to convince my family of that. If Mom were here, she’d help me. She’d already been trying to talk everyone into reconciliation. She had said just before Damian returned from Albany that she wanted to have a family dinner and invite him over. Of course, it was as though World War III erupted and my brothers got my father riled up until inviting Damian was out of the question.

I should have taken his side. I was a horrible wife, and yet, somehow, he still said he loved me. Could I really keep doubting him in the face of such steadfastness? I’d been a horrible bitch these last two weeks despite being with him, and he still said he loved me. I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t recognize that I cared for him as well. These mixed up feelings I had could easily turn to love if I just let myself trust in Damian’s feelings.

Kyle still hadn’t responded to what I’d said, and I turned my attention to him again.

“Can’t you give Damian a chance, for my sake?”

“No.” Kyle reached across me, snatching the coffee I’d brought him. He took a big gulp, then glowered at the cup. “You’ve been gone all these years, never coming home to visit. Now some guy comes and flashes his money around, and I’m supposed to forgive everything?”

“Wait!” I looked at Kyle, shock filtering through me. “You aren’t mad at Damian, you’re mad at me?”

“I know it’s not fair and you went through a lot.” Kyle put his cup down and cracked his knuckles, seeming uncomfortable. “I counted on you, sis. You just took off and left me here to pick up the pieces. Mom cried all the time, the boys were little shits and never listened to me, whining for you constantly, saying you were better at making dinner or tucking them into bed. Money can’t make up for you leaving us! If you’re on his side, go back to your damn husband and leave us alone. We made it fine without you for eight years. We don’t need you now!”

Dad stood up, crossing to our chairs. “Kyle, knock it off. Now’s not the time to pick a fight with your sister. I know there are things you’re still hurt about, but we need to be a family right now.”

“But I’m only telling the truth!” Kyle looked at Elias and Brandon. “Tell her, guys! Tell her how hard it was without her.”

Elias and Brandon both dropped their gazes to the ground, not saying anything. Their silence spoke volumes. They were hurt that I’d left them too. It’s not that I didn’t understand, but they weren’t being fair.

“I was attacked and nearly died!” I stood up, my anger mounting. “I love you all so much but staying here wasn’t an option. I couldn’t even bring myself to walk out of our apartment, so afraid that man would be waiting for me. Don’t you remember? I was a mess! Moving across the country was the only way I could rebuild my life. It had nothing to do with you.”

Brandon looked up, my baby brother who used to follow me everywhere. Now, the anger on his face was shocking. “You never even called us. Mom always called you. You wanted nothing to do with us. It was like we didn’t even matter to you anymore.”

“That’s not...” I wanted to say that wasn’t true, but it would be a lie. I hadn’t wanted anything to do with New York. I’d missed my parents and brothers, but Aunt Tanya took good care of me and at least I could leave the house without thinking every single man on the street was potentially the one who’d attacked me. “It wasn’t you I wanted to get away from, it was this city.”

Kyle snorted. “Well, you have all the money in the world to go to whatever city you want. Since you want to kiss that man and act like he’s the most important thing in the world while Ma could be dying, why don’t you just go back to him. Contact us in another eight years if you feel like it!”

Anger and hurt flooded through me. I’d thought my family understood. Sure, I’d been selfish, more selfish than I’d had a right to, but it had been the only way I felt I could save my sanity.

Flicking my gaze to the surgery board, I saw it still said Mom’s surgery was in progress. I had to get out of here for a while. If I spoke to Kyle more, I’d only lash out and hurt him. It seemed I’d already hurt my family enough to last a lifetime. I never considered them when I’d left, never thought how hard it would be on the boys to suddenly be without me while Mom and Dad still worked all the time. I should have, but I could see from Kyle and Brandon’s expressions that they didn’t want to hear an apology right now. As for Elias, my middle brother still wouldn’t look at me.

I rose from the chair, marching toward the exit.

“Butterfly?” Dad’s concerned inquiry stopped me for a moment. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going for a walk. I need to clear my head.”

“But it’s dark,” he said. “Want me to come—”

“No, I’m fine. I’ll be back in a while.”

I dashed from the room, running down the hall and to the front exit. I had to get away. Everything my brothers had said was true, but I didn’t know how to fix it. Mom was in there fighting for her life. I might already lose her, and now it looked like my brothers didn’t want me around either.

All the anger they’d been heaping on Damian had actually been for me, and I was too stupid to realize it. No wonder they wouldn’t hear of forgiving him and letting him back in the family when Mom tried to mention it. What they really wanted was for me to leave and not come back. Or—well, maybe that wasn’t true. Perhaps they wanted to keep me mad at Damian, so I’d stay with them, not leave them as I did in the past.

They’d all certainly spent enough time at Mom and Dad’s place while I was staying there last month. Maybe the anger Kyle displayed today was because I’d left again to be with Damian when he returned from Albany. However, if Kyle just made the effort to get along with Damian, we could all be together. Wouldn’t that be better?

Not realizing how far my feet had taken me from the hospital while I power walked from streetlamp to streetlamp, I finally came to my senses and looked around. The hospital was blocks away, barely visible in the distance. The road I found myself on now had fewer lamps than the main roads. The darkness in the shadows suddenly seemed sinister.

Grabbing my blazer pocket, I went for my phone, knowing that fear would soon paralyze me as it always did. I needed to call Damian. He’d come for me. No matter how horrible of a person I was in general, my husband would save me.

My hand patted around in the empty pocket and dread filled me. I’d been playing a game to pass the time and had set my phone down before going to get coffee. Dammit! Maybe there was still a payphone somewhere.

Glancing around the street, I knew there was no hope of finding one. Did I even remember Damian’s phone number? Perhaps a passerby could help. Everyone had cell phones these days. I just had to get up the courage to approach someone. A woman would be best.

Problem was, the street was deserted this early in the morning.

Suddenly, my worst fear happened. A rush of footsteps behind me caused me to stumble forward a pace, too afraid to see who was approaching but dread filling me with the desire to escape.

Before I’d taken more than a few steps, a hand wrapped around my neck, squeezing my windpipe. Another covered my mouth. “Don’t scream,” a low voice whispered against my ear, causing me to shudder with fear as a whimper escaped me. “Don’t struggle. If you want to live, come with me without causing a problem.”