I’ll have to admit. This is a weird fucking feeling I’ve got going on as I step off the team bus and head into the hotel.
We got our asses handed to us tonight. I guess it’s payback from the Eagles for us whipping their asses yesterday. One of the main reasons we lost tonight is because I played shitty. I was just a little off, and it was nothing major I could put my finger on, but two goals I’d allowed were definitely my fault.
That is the nature of the beast in professional sports. You play at an elite level because your talent is better and your training is harder than the others. You have more drive and determination. Stronger mental fortitude. Your spirit of competition is unrivaled.
But that doesn’t mean you don’t have bad games. I learned long ago we’re all human and there are going to be some games where I am just off.
Tonight was one of those nights. I accept it and my team accepts it, but it still doesn’t mean it’s not a pisser. Normally when I lose a game I’ll be in a bad attitude for a solid twenty-four hours. I’ll replay in my head every goal I allowed in and what I could have done differently. I’ll sulk. I’ll be a douche to any teammate that tries to talk to me, which is okay, because they’re all in the same mindset as me. No one is happy after a loss.
The interesting thing is, I haven’t had the opportunity to see Jules after a loss. There haven’t been many since the regular season started and each one that occurred happened either on the road or on a night when I did not go to see Jules after the game, mainly because I didn’t want to disturb her painting with my sour attitude.
But right now, as I walk through the lobby to the elevator doors, along with my entire sulking, grumbling team, I’ve just got a weird fucking feeling going on. I’m pissed at myself for the loss and I’m in generally bad spirits. That’s normal. But I’ve also got this underlying hum of excitement that Jules is upstairs waiting in my room for me, probably prepared to give me emotional support.
I know Jules is in the room because I texted her while I was still in the locker room. We’d made tentative plans to go out for some drinks together.
Alone.
Just me and her.
But my text to her was simple. Not feeling like going out. See you in the room.
She wrote back. Totally understand. See you soon.
She totally understands.
Because she’s Jules.
I cram into the elevator with about ten other guys and we ride up silently, the car stopping on two floors before reaching mine. I get off with two other teammates, none of us saying a word as we walk to our rooms.
Yeah…we’re all in shitty moods but tomorrow we’ll get our heads back on straight and look to the next game.
I slide the plastic key in the slot on the room door, and before I push it all the way in, I consider what is waiting on the other side for me.
Not a team loss.
Not a shitty performance by yours truly.
Not a bitter night of moping.
No second thoughts, recriminations, or self-loathing.
Certainly no fear that I’m losing my touch.
On the other side of this door is a woman who brings so much fulfillment and joy into my world, who believes in me so thoroughly—a woman who utterly fucking brightens even my most miserable fucking situation—there can only be one way that this evening is going to end.
I push the keycard all the way in and when the little light turns green I push down on the lever and open the door.
And there she stands, face all pinched with worry for me and in her hand an icy cold Molson beer that’s extended toward me in offering. She took off her Fournier jersey and only has on a pair of jeans and a black turtleneck sweater, her feet covered in fluffy socks.
Stepping in, I shut the door behind me and lock it. I shed my winter coat as my eyes go to the beer. “That for me?”
“Figured you could use it,” she says hesitantly and I now see that the worry in her eyes is not only for how I’m feeling after such a loss, but how I’m going to react. “They didn’t have any Molson in the minifridge so I went down to the bar in the lobby and got a few for you.”
I stare at the beer a minute, then slide my eyes to hers.
“Um…I can get more if you want some,” she adds quietly.
I hate that uncertainty in her voice. I hate the way she’s unsure of how I’ll be tonight after a loss. Or how I’ll treat her because I might be in a bad mood.
It’s just not something we’ve had to deal with yet in our relationship.
I walk farther into the room, straight to her. I take the Molson and turn to set it on the dresser that holds a large flat-screen TV.
When I turn back to Jules, she looks up at me with sympathetic eyes tinged with quandary. I step closer, bring my hand to her face to lay my palm against her cheek before I slide it around her neck. My fingers go up into her long hair and I feel the cool silkiness slither over my skin. I sift my fingers through briefly before bringing my hand to the back of her neck. My thumb idly grazes her skin while I look down at her.
Noting those eyes that I’ve come to realize are my favorite part of Jules, because they’re so expressive and she can communicate with their power alone. They speak to me when her lips don’t.
“Max?” she murmurs. “You okay?”
I nod at her with a smile, let my eyes roam her face for a moment before coming back to lock with hers. “I love you, Jules.”
A tiny gasp flutters past her lips and her eyes seem to burst with light, causing them to bloom into golden orbs, which then immediately start to shimmer with a translucent veil of tears. My hand moves from the back of her neck to her cheeks, where I rest my thumb, ready to catch any tears that fall.
“I was going to tell you last night,” I say softly. “Had it all planned…candlelight, roses, champagne. But honestly, it didn’t seem the right time because while last night was magical and romantic, it wasn’t really us, you know? I mean, not that I can’t be romantic, because I can, but it’s not the real us.”
She nods at me, and I think she’s getting what I’m saying, though just to be sure, I continue on.
“But tonight…walking in here and seeing you after I just had a really shitty game, and ordinarily would sulk and bitch and moan about my performance, I took one look at you standing there holding my favorite beer and I realized…this is us. Me coming to you after I’ve had a shit day, and you standing there waiting to take it on. Jules, this was the right time to tell you that I love you. In fact, this was the perfect time.”
I watch as she swallows hard and blinks her eyes to chase away the moisture. “I, um…” she says in a voice cracking with emotion, and then coughs a little to clear it. “I never thought I’d love someone with the depth that I loved Melody. But then those kids came along, and I realized I was given a gift. And I never thought I’d have room in my life after them to love someone else that deeply, and then you came along, and I knew I’d been given a miracle. Max, I simply can’t help but to love you too. You’ve made it impossible for me to have anything less than love. I don’t know what I did to deserve it but I’ll be damned if I’m going to ever waste it or take it for granted. I just want to make you as happy as you make me.”
In my entire life, there has never been a moment I’ve experienced like this one. Her words fill me up with such replete gratification…such tranquillity…absolute realization that I just became a complete man.
I bring my other hand to her face, frame it, and rub my thumbs along her jaw. “Big night for us, huh?”
She winces. “Well, except for the loss.”
“What loss?” I ask her with a grin, but she knows I haven’t forgotten it.
Merely that I’m choosing to ignore it because this is more important.
“I’m still not quite sure how this happened,” Jules says softly. “I mean…the chances on how we first met, or that you saw me for a second time at Sweetbrier. It had to be, right?”
“I think so,” I agree. “I think someone was telling us we’re meant for each other.”
She gives a small shake of her head…a bit of a skeptical move. “There are times I just don’t understand why you’re with me. My life has been a shit storm lately. And I come with three kids. What sane man wants that?”
Leaning down, I brush my lips against hers. “Babe, there’s no doubt, your life is a bit warty. But it’s because of those warts and the way you handle them that causes me to have such deep respect for you. That’s part of why I love you, not a reason for me not to.”
“Not sure it’s really hitting me…the enormity of what we just said to each other,” she murmurs.
“Or the implied commitment that brings,” I add on. “You’re stuck with me now, babe. Not going anywhere.”
She grins. “Don’t want you to.”
“On second thought,” I say mischievously, “I wouldn’t mind moving this to the bed.”
Her head turns slightly to look at the bed and then back to me with an impish smile. “Is this the part where you make love to me since we’ve now professed our deep feelings?”
I look to the bed and then back to her. “No,” I drawl out. “I’m still going to fuck you. But I’m going to do it while being deeply in love with you.”
Jules laughs, because that’s just Jules and her internal sense of humor is so closely matched with my own. Our teasing and lame jokes lobbed at each other are simply a part of the way we communicate. It’s part of what makes us both happy to be with each other. I love that despite the fact that Jules’ life is complicated, messy, and downright stressful, she still has the easy ability to laugh at any given time.
In fact, that’s sexy as fuck to me.
I bring my mouth down to hers and she meets me halfway by pushing up on her toes. Solid, warm…so Jules. The minute our lips touch, a ripple of sexual heat moves through my body and my desire for her is magnified by the fact that I know she loves me.
My hands only stay on her face a brief moment, but once that kiss is fully engaged, they’re on the move. Dropping to shoulders, skimming down arms, turning inward to grab the hem of her sweater. It’s up and over her head, causing a brief disruption in our kiss, but the minute it’s free, our mouths are back on each other. Her hands don’t stay idle. I push my jacket from my shoulders and then get to work on the buttons of my shirt. I make quick work of her bra, and only because I took the time to use both hands to work the clasp in the back.
I manage to toe my shoes off but no way I’m breaking the kiss to get those socks. I’ll worry about them later.
One more brief disruption as Jules tries to frantically get my shirt off but is hampered by the fact that I’m wearing a white cotton tee under it. I take a moment…help her out and rip both pieces over my head.
She stares at my chest for a long moment, simply just taking me in before her hands shoot out and start to work at my belt. That spurs me into action, and by the time she’s pulling my cock out, I’ve got my hand shoved down the front of her pants and into sleek wet pussy, which is all mine.
“Oh, wow,” Jules mutters against my mouth as I circle her clit with the pad of my finger.
I’d say the same but my breath is nearly robbed when her hand tightens around my dick. An overwhelming sense of urgency grabs hold and I wrench away from her, my chest heaving.
“Get your pants off, baby. No more of this playing around.”
She hops to it, shimmying them down her long and perfect legs then sitting her ass on the bed to get them off. Jules gives me a brief glance. “You got to get naked too.”
Fuck yeah I do. I start pushing my pants down and then almost bust a rib laughing when Jules adds, “And take your socks off too. There is nothing sexy about fucking a woman while wearing only black dress socks.”
She grins at me as the last of her clothes peel free, and I’m just four seconds behind her. I practically lunge at her, grab her around the waist and haul both of our bodies onto the bed, where we come to rest on our sides facing each other.
Her eyes so mesmerizing…still golden…the color of a lion’s mane really, but now with dilated pupils because she’s turned on. They stare at me intently and she whispers, “Love you.”
I smile, wrap an arm around her waist and tell her, “Love you too.”
“Okay, let’s get to the fucking part,” she exclaims and I’m all over that.
I roll her to her back, settle in between her legs and kiss her again. Long, slow, and wet…my tongue works against hers. Her hands slide around me, drag down to my lower back and press in. She rotates her hips, trying to maneuver her body, which puts my cock more in line with the sweetest pussy to grace this earth.
I dig my elbows into the mattress, haul myself up her a few inches and, without taking my mouth from hers, flex my hips. My cock knows exactly where to go and presses against her opening.
Jules gasps into my mouth when I breach her, my leaking tip sliding in easily against her own wetness.
Fuck that feels good. So much better than it ever has before, and I’m man enough to admit that it has to be love. It must change things, because that’s the only difference between how it felt fucking Jules last night and tonight.
And last night was awesome, but this…sinking into her slowly and knowing that I haven’t just conquered her body, but fucking own her heart right now…
That’s the difference.
When I bottom out in Jules, I lift my mouth from hers and peer down at her. Her eyes are glazed, her lips wet from my kisses, and there’s a faint blush running down her neck and across her chest.
Christ, she’s so sexy.
I push my torso up, going from elbows to palms on the mattress. I give a test move…pulling back and sinking in once again, and Jules’ moan in response hits me right in the balls.
I’m afraid I’m not going to last long, but that’s okay. This won’t be the last time we do this tonight.
I grab one of Jules’ hands and drag it between our bodies. I push it right against her pelvis, my hand ultimately wrapping around her index and middle finger. I look down, move her hand slightly down and make her touch her clit.
“Max,” she groans and gyrates her hips.
“Touch yourself, baby,” I urge her. “I’m pretty sure you’d get off on just what I’m getting ready to do to you, but I don’t want to take any chances, okay?”
“Okay,” she says with a breathy sigh, and I feel her hand start to move. I watch as she rubs herself for a moment then I push up even farther. I take one of her legs, stretch it out then up and place the back of it running up my chest, her calf coming to rest just below my collarbone.
I slide my palm to her other thigh and lift it to my waist, then rub my hand over her knee, down her shin and to her ankle, where I pull at her leg so it curves around my waist. I feel her press her heel into my ass and I know she’s locked in for the ride.
I look down at her again and she stares up at me with foggy lust, but I see a hint of challenge in her eyes. She knows I love her but she also knows I’m going to fuck her.
Leaning over her, I bring my hands back to the mattress. Her leg straight up my chest gives me leverage, causing her to fold slightly at the waist but spreading that pussy a little wider for me. I suck in a breath and then I start to fuck her.
Long, measured strokes…making sure I pull almost every inch of my cock out before I thrust it back into her deeply. Each time I power in, she huffs out a breathy moan. I can feel the tips of her fingers as she rubs her clit, sometimes tapping against the base of my dick. I look down in between us and it’s hot as fuck watching my cock piston into her…see how wet she is because she’s so turned on by me.
“Max?” Jules pants at me.
My head snaps up, my hips still powering hard.
“I want it harder,” she huffs out, the words sounding staccato because of the pounding I’m giving her.
Fuck…harder?
Um…yeah, can totally do that.
“I got you,” I assure her and kick up the pace. Turn up the speed. Punch my dick deeper into my sweet Jules like she asked me to, and the headboard starts a rhythmic beating up against the wall. I send out a mental apology to whoever’s on the other side right now.
“Yes, yes, yes,” she starts to chant and that right there adds fuel to my already blazing fire.
I start driving into Jules with an abandon I’ve never felt. I lurch into her body, possibly wanting to crawl all the way in and brand myself inside of her. Fuse us together.
Make what we have infinite.
I’m caught off guard when Jules’ pussy clamps down tight on me and her back bows clear off the bed. Her eyes squeeze tight and her teeth dig into her lower lip and she orgasms so fucking beautifully that I’m completely enthralled.
And when her back relaxes and sinks down to the mattress, she opens those eyes that are now brighter than ever…looking like the sun, and she whispers, “I love you,” I feel those words all the way through to my balls and straight through to the end of my dick, which slams into her one more time before my entire body seizes up.
Extreme pleasure grabs ahold of me, and the most exquisite and explosive orgasm I’ve ever felt ricochets through me. A massive shudder quakes up my spine, ripples back down, and when Jules’ pussy contracts again on me, a second wave of pleasure hits me so hard, I pull my cock back involuntarily and slam it in again.
I feel myself shoot off again inside of her.
“Oh, fuck,” I groan as I pull her leg from my chest so I can drop down onto her, grinding the last of my orgasm out.
Causing her hand that’s caught in between us to press back against her clit, and she gives a cry as I feel her body shudder again. I lay there, still in her, completely on her, and wait for our bodies to quiet.
“Motherfucker,” I gasp as I move my forehead to rest against hers. “That was…that was fucking unbelievable.”
“I can’t even…” she says and then doesn’t say anything else because apparently she can’t even.
It takes every bit of strength I have to lift my head so I can look down at her. She smiles back up at me, her eyes now glowing softly with complete satisfaction.
“You know the bad part to what just happened, right?” I ask her.
She shakes her head.
“You and I just set the bar incredibly high for ourselves,” I point out.
“I am quite sure we can outdo that,” she returns confidently.
I grin at her. “I look forward to trying.”
“Me too,” she agrees.