Mae

A date. I was going on a date with the man who had filled my dreams and thoughts for the past two months. Looking in the mirror, I decided good enough. I was wearing my best dress and shoes, which if he took me anywhere like the place we went to lunch earlier in the week, I was completely under dressed. Thankfully, I still fit into all my normal clothes. One of the joys of being “not of our recommended starting weight” when pregnant was that I still wasn’t showing. I knew the baby was there, but no one else would unless I told them. My sister, the skinny mini, was already flaunting her baby bump all over social media. It was as awkward as you can imagine for me to know that we conceived on the same night. Not that she knew I was expecting. I needed to tell Matt first, and preferably before the baby was born. I needed to grow a pair. Ladyballs, time to nut up.

The knock at my apartment door made the butterflies that were already causing chaos in my belly to amp up their game. This man had power over me, the extent of which I was scared to begin to admit to myself. I grabbed my purse and keys as I made my way to the door. Even if I wanted to invite him in, which I wasn’t against, all I had was one living room chair and one plastic lawn chair in the kitchen. I intended to go look at local thrift stores, but had yet to manage it.

“You look ravishing.” He stood before me as the door swung open, roses in hand, dressed more relaxed than normal but still GQ-worthy.

“Says the smexy man in my doorway.” I took the proffered flowers, enjoying the look of shock on his face. “I love them.” Thankfully, they were in a vase already, which I discovered as I carefully unwrapped them. All I had was an empty milk jug waiting to be recycled, and they were far too beautiful for that.

“Why didn’t you come in?” I asked, perplexed that he stood just where I left him.

“One, you didn’t invite me.”

“Sorry. Won’t you come in?” I stammered. Leave it to me to be rude to the one person I wanted to impress. “I haven’t had my own place in a long time. I tend to forget things like… you know… manners.”

“Oh beautiful, that was only number one.” That wasn’t the first time he called me that, yet it held all of the power it had the very first time. He thought I was beautiful. Me, the chubby, underemployed, no-style girl. Me. Maybe he needed glasses. Maybe he was blinded by the insane attraction we felt. I didn’t care the reason, only that he did.

“Two being that if I came in, we would miss our date.”

Yes, please.

“A little sure of yourself, aren’t you?” And the man had every reason to be. If he came in, things would get heated. When he had kissed me at lunch, he brought back all the feelings our night together. It was no longer just a memory. I could close my eyes and feel his hands on me, his lips on me.

“Am I wrong?” He leaned into the doorway, wearing the cocky smile I loved so much. I wanted to close the distance between us and taste his lips. Who was I kidding, I wanted to taste all of him.

“No. No, you are not.” He barely held in his chuckle at my honesty. “Which makes you a very dangerous man, Mr. Dahl.”

“I told you before that you are safe with me.”

“My body is, of that I have no doubt. My heart… I have a feeling that is very much in jeopardy.” Which would be true under normal circumstances, but now that I was carrying his child, it became exponentially more so. Closing my eyes, I pulled on all my courage to tell him. Right here. Right now. Except that as he opened them, his words had my knees about to cave.

“In this you are not alone, beautiful.” And with that he offered his arm, which I took without pause, all thoughts of confessing put on the back burner. “Shall we?”

And with that, we were off to a night of eating and dancing, all the dancing. We kissed. We laughed. We talked. The night was magical, and even though the guilt sat close to the surface, I ignored it. I wanted this one night. One night and then I would tell him. It wasn’t like it was a secret I could keep for long. I just wanted one night to know what could’ve been, for when reality slammed into me, I would find out exactly what was going to be.

As he opened the car door for me as we left the restaurant, I once again took a detour from all the things I had mapped out for my life. “I don’t want to go home.” I sealed my words with a kiss before he swept me into the car.

“Then we will go to mine.”

As we drove off to his place, I committed every detail to memory, for I had a feeling that after tonight, a memory would be all I had.