MARISSA
“You should have heard him, Mar,’’ Sophie went on, talking so fast I briefly wondered if she broke down on her coffee ban. Six months ago, she had started drinking tea instead because of what kind of effect coffee had on her. At seeing her, I wasn't sure tea was that much better.
“Have you had any coffee this morning?’’ I asked as I bit into an apple after finishing cleaning the station I worked on with Kam on the last touches for a huge back piece for a biker who, while looked scarily mean, happened to be a whining bitch once the needle touched his skin.
“What?’’ She blinked behind her thick-framed glasses and then shook her head. Her ponytail swiveled behind her head, doing a great impersonation of a pendulum. “I won’t ever drink coffee again. Some people swear off tequila, I swear off coffee. Why?’’
“You sound a bit hyper,’’ I answered around a mouthful of apple and then threw the core in the trash of the office next to the desk. I leaned against the sturdy furniture and crossed my arms over my chest, my frown apparently permanently etched on my face since the debacle with Wyatt.
“Don’t you care about what happened yesterday?’’ she countered swiftly, ignoring my words and focusing instead on the thing I’d rather ignore and forget.
“You told me over the phone last night already. Wyatt called. Big deal. Let’s move on now, please,’’ I replied and forced myself not to cringe at saying his name, something that would only betray how bad I still felt. I fished my phone from my jeans and checked the time. “We have to go back to work anyway. Your appointment for a nipple piercing is in ten and Kam wants me to work with him on his next client.’’
“Alright, but at least tell me if you’re going to answer when he calls you,’’ she said, following me out of the office when she should be staying inside to prep for her appointment.
“He won’t call,’’ I blurted and turned around, glaring at my friend.
Sophie stopped abruptly, and her eyes widened at my harsh tone. I immediately felt like dirt for blowing my friend’s head because of an asshole. But she didn’t call me on it. Instead, she offered me a sweet smile and reached for my hand to give it a comforting squeeze.
“Sorry. I won’t pester you anymore, okay?’’
“Thank you, Soph. I… I suck.’’
“No, you’re hurting. I get it.’’ She pointed over her shoulder back to the office. “I better get everything ready for my appointment before Kam burst a fuse. Let the client in when she gets here, would you?’’
I nodded and watched her retreat into the office after she gave me one last sad smile that hurt me more than I already was. It was like putting salt on a wound. It burned and hurt like crazy, but at the same time, it was good. I hated seeing her sad, more so on my account for something this stupid, but I was also thankful for the kind of friendship she offered.
Friendships meant everything and took their whole meaning when you were going through a rough patch in life.
“Marissa!’’
Startled by Kam’s booming voice, I turned around and walked the rest of the way to leave the narrow hall leading to the restroom and the office to enter the main room where four tattoo stations were set up and the front desk.
“I’m here, sorry I…’’ I trailed off when I realized that Kam was standing in front of Wyatt.
My breath stalled in my chest. No air left or entered my lungs, and a slight burn took over my chest. The fire spread through my veins until it touched my heart. It galloped there, right under my ribs as if trying to make a run for it.
I couldn’t look away from the man who discarded me like I was nothing more than a hole he had used for his twisted pleasure, as much physical as moral. It was impossible for me to see beyond the asshole. I didn’t see his tattoos that had turned me on so much that night, or his dark eyes seemingly too vibrant or his lips so incredible when they kissed any part of my body. I saw nothing but a man that made me feel like I was worth nothing more than being treated like dirt.
He embodied the mess I launched myself into from the moment I got the sealed envelope from the PI with my birth mother’s information.
“You okay, girl?’’ Kam asked me, watching me intently as if I was ready to break down or something. I shouldn’t be surprised considering my odd behavior this past week.
“I'm all right,’’ I said and then looked around the room and found the other two tattoo artists, Jade and Xavier, along with their clients’ eyes on me and the two men standing in front of me. “What are you doing here?’’ I asked Wyatt, my voice flat as I locked eyes with him, determined not to let him play me in my place of work. This was my life, not his. He wanted me out of his life, then he had nothing to do with mine. Period.
He glanced at Kam and then the others still blatantly watching and listening. The tattoo machines weren’t making any noise anymore. It was deathly quiet saved for Lanyard Skynyrd coming from the speakers.
“Can we talk outside?’’ he asked, his voice thick and moody. With his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans riding low on his tapered waist and his feet parted, he looked ready for my rebuttal and equally willing to counter me.
“I’m working. There’s a—''
“Nah, girl. Take your time,’’ Kam butted in and put the nail in the coffin by giving a friendly punch into Wyatt’s big shoulder and turning away from us. “What is it, you idiots? Get back to work,’’ he blurted with a glare at Jade and Xavier. Immediately, the hum of the tattoo machines reached my ears, but when it usually relaxed me, it didn’t help with my nerves any right now.
“Come outside with me a minute.’’
I narrowed my eyes at Wyatt and snorted. “I guess I’m supposed just to do what you want and keep my mouth shut, huh?’’
His eyebrows knitted and he looked down. “I swear it won’t take long. After that, I’ll leave you alone.’’
Jaw locked and stiff as a board, I sidestepped him and left InkSpired, walking farther down the street to avoid the others to look. I didn’t need to turn around to tell he was on my heels. The man’s presence was like no other, and my distrust only tuned me in further into him.
I stopped in front of a liquor store, the one I bought my alcohol from, along with many underage students because they didn’t card as long as you showed a bit of cleavage to the perv manning the store. I couldn’t make out the inside of the store with the dirty windows and the neon flashing in white and red saying it was open. Also, the many adds for shows around town and other events made it hard to find a way to look inside.
I turned around abruptly and faced the man that had been on my mind way too much. “What the hell do you want now? You screwed me, screwed me over and made me understand to screw off. There’s no more screwing to do here.’’
“You forgot one.’’
“Enlighten me,’’ I snapped and kept on glaring at him.
“I screwed up.’’
I wasn’t expecting that. My frown eased up then when I noticed he wasn’t playing with me. Sophie had told me he wanted to apologize, but I didn’t believe a word he said. But upon facing him, the way he seemed to soldier himself for an onslaught of insults and the lack of coldness in his voice made me wonder if maybe… Maybe he wasn’t more human than I thought. That didn’t change a thing, though.
“And?’’
He rubbed the back of his neck and looked up to lock eyes with me once again. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.’’
“Which part, uh? The part where you had sex with me to drive me away from your mother or the part where just as soon as you were finished you ignored me to make sure I’d leave your place feeling like shit.’’
His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. “Both.’’
“Yeah.’’ I shook my head and stared above his shoulders up the streets. Everything was better than staring at the man who made my life harder than it already was. Everything was better than staring at the one person who had made me feel like trash when nobody else had ever been able to do it. “You know, I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt that night. I was prepared to overlook your dickish behavior, but that’s pushing it. I will never let anybody walk all over me, even if I’m damn lost right now. You’re a scared little boy inside the body of a man, and you don’t deserve my sympathy or understanding anymore. You wanted me out of your life, Wyatt, well you’ve got it.’’
I sidestepped him and began walking away when his voice stopped me.
“There are things you don’t know about me, Marissa.’’
I looked over my shoulder. “Do you believe you know everything about me? We all have our baggage, but we don’t all lash out at others because of them.’’ Then, I touched the small tats of birds behind my ear, memories coming back at me again and walked away without another look.
***
WYATT
I watched her leave and fought against myself when everything screamed at me to stop her, to make her listen, to say something so she would stop looking at me as if I was the scum of the earth.
But what good would it do? I was a scumbag. I hurt people around me just so I stayed on top, just so I could ensure I was safe.
“You alright, young man?’’ a voice said, quivering from age as I realized once my eyes landed on my right on a short lady with more wrinkles than seemed natural. Her curved back made her appear shorter than she was, which was saying something because she looked pretty short on her weak legs. Also, her thin body covered by a billowy purple dress with tiny pink and white flowers had me wondering for a brief moment if she wouldn’t just fall and break something if she stood outside on a windy day.
“Yeah, yeah I'm all right,’’ I mumbled and stared back to where Marissa was walking. I saw her disappear inside InkSpired and she took with her my opportunity to make things right, or as right as possible.
“You hurt that young lady?’’ she asked, apparently nosey.
Glaring, I stared her down and pursed my lips. She didn’t bat an eyelid. In fact, she smiled wider at me, showing a rank of teeth, I bet weren’t natural. Her thin lips curled up so many wrinkles in her cheeks and around her eyes deepened until they carved lines I couldn’t imagine not there even when she was younger.
“Ha! You can take back that nasty look, boy. I’m too old to be intimidated by a young man who got his behind handed back to him. Men never understand the true meaning of a gesture to get back in our good graces.’’ Then, she laughed and walked inside the liquor shop Marissa had walked us to. Her laughter cackled behind her to better get on my nerves until I was left there like a stupid fucker on the sidewalk with hands balled in my pockets and my heart hammering in my chest. Anger simmered inside me, anger at myself, at the whole damn world too.
“A gesture my ass,’’ I grunted and raked a hand through my hair. I stared back at the shop the old woman walked in and found her eyes still on me between two ads tacked on the dirty window, her smile taunting me. I scowled harder at her and shook my head.
I walked back from where I came and stopped in front of InkSpired for a minute before I kept on walking. It was useless to try and apologize again now. Marissa wouldn’t listen, and in her shoes, I’m pretty sure I’d have welcomed someone with a well-placed punch instead of leading them outside to humor them and exchange a few words.
I would usually say fuck it and move on, but something held me back, and that was probably because of who her birth mother was and how I fucked up for my mom here. I had to put aside my egotistic ass and find a way to get that hurt look in Marissa’s eyes out of her face.
For once, I had to figure out a way not to hurt someone and repair who I had broken. That was, to some extent, for me too.
***
WYATT
I stared down at my third tequila shot and ignored Ralph sitting next to me at the bar where I now knew Marissa, and the others from InkSpired hung out. I was reduced to being a damn stalker to find a way to get my apology out there and accepted, but after the third evening spent here without seeing anybody but that tattoo artist chick with some guy, there was no sign of Marissa. Even Ralph hadn’t been able to get a hold of her on her phone.
“Stop fucking staring,’’ I blurted through clenched teeth. I grabbed the shot and threw the drink into my mouth, head thrown back. When the alcohol went down, it barely warmed me up from the inside. I was already burning up from the two beers and two previous tequila shots.
“Not my damn fault. It’s like when there’s a wreck on the road. You can’t stop looking. I see the wreck coming, and I have a feeling it’s about to explode.’’
“You have a feeling?’’ I snorted and signaled the bartender to get me another shot. He immediately poured me the tequila and served Ralph another beer, his second. For once, he was the sensible one. “Don’t tell me you’re palm reading or some shit too now.’’
His answering laugh made me smirk at him right when I got ready to get my fourth shot. “Alright, Wyatt, slow down on the liquor. It doesn’t look like she’s—''
When he didn’t finish his sentence, I looked up to find him grinning like a fool while his eyes fixed something. I followed his line of sight and my whole body locked down.
There she was.
Marissa wasn’t looking at us, but at Sophie, as she apparently talked her ears off. Both of them had big smiles, but I didn’t spend more than a quick look on Sophie before my full attention was on Marissa.
I drank in the way her dark blue jeans hugged her curves, curves I had explored not so long ago. I took my time taking in the way her InkSpired black t-shirt left little to the imagination when it came to her breasts and how it uncovered a patch of skin above the waist of her pants. She was edible. She was forbidden. She was dangerous.
I still hated her for what she represented, and I equally wanted her. I was torn up, so fucking lost the words I wanted to say flew away to leave me just the shell of the man I was.
“You have maybe ten seconds to get your shit together before she spots us at the bar. Start counting,’’ Ralph said and patted my shoulder just as another laugh spilled from his mouth.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. And I didn’t go any further because then Marissa’s incredible eyes landed on me.
I expected her to turn around and leave the bar, but instead, she speed-walked straight to me and pointed at my face.
“Don’t tell me you’re here because you want another little chat.’’
My frown came back when her small finger didn’t leave my face. With a grunt, I snatched her wrist and pushed her hand down. She fought me, but I was stronger than her determination.
“Get off me!’’ she ordained me, her voice low as not to catch other’s attention.
“Don’t act like a fucking kid, then,’’ I mumbled and then released her wrist.
“You—.''
“Woah, Mar,’’ Sophie stepped in and stopped Marissa before she said something that would have pissed me off without a doubt. The angry light in her violet-blue eyes wasn’t subtle. It talked of murderous thoughts. “Calm down. Too many witnesses could testify against you.’’
Ralph laughed again then, and he earned himself three frowns. He held up both hands in surrender and shook his head. His faux-hawk contrasted even more to my eyes now that everything started to get blurry. Alcohol hit me now, and it was right when she got here.
“Sophie, right?’’ Ralph asked Marissa’s friend.
“Yes, that’s me.’’
“Alright, let’s leave these two to air things out.’’ He pointed at an empty table further back. “Let’s have a drink over there.’’
Sophie from her five foot nothing glared at Ralph and then at me behind her thick-framed glasses. She straightened her cream button down that didn’t need any straightening unless my alcohol-fueled brain couldn’t see it. “I don’t see what he has to say to Marissa.’’
Ralph’s eyebrows went up high on his forehead. Yeah, fucker. I told you that woman was feistier than she looked.
“It’s okay, Soph. Let’s go. The liquor store is still open. We can always grab a bottle and go to my place,’’ Marissa said, ready to bolt with a last harsh look for me. But I wouldn’t let her go. I wouldn’t spend any more days acting like a fucking stalker so that I could say what I wanted to say.
“Would it torture you to give me five fucking minutes without you trying to shut me up?’’ I blurted loudly.
“You’re shitting me,’’ Marissa said, her voice deadly calm while her eyes were a storm beaconing me. I was unable to look away even if I wanted to, and I didn’t want to. “I owe you nothing, Wyatt. Nothing.’’
“Oh shit,’’ Ralph whispered next to me.
Everything else, everybody disappeared. I focused only on Marissa, on the anger and hatred I read on her. The look on her face from that night haunted me.
“I’ve been parking my ass here as soon as I was finished at work every fucking day, Marissa. I’m trying to apologize and—.''
“And I don’t want to hear anything more. Can’t you understand that? Damn it! You wanted me out of your life, and you’ve got it. What more do you want?’’
“I want you to stop looking at me like this!’’ I yelled and jumped to my feet. I was unsteady, but I held onto the bar and the stool I just vacated. I didn’t look away from Marissa and didn’t give a damn if I was giving the others a spectacle. For all I cared they could film this and post it on Facebook or Youtube or wherever the hell they wanted. I was past caring about anything. Even about what she thought. I was past everything. “I’ve never pretended to be a good guy or to be wholesome. I’m a damn mess, and I break people in my vicinity whenever I feel like they could threaten the life I have. You’ve been a fucking time bomb since you appeared on my mother’s doorsteps. I don’t trust you, Marissa and you should have never trusted me.’’
“Is that your apology?’’ she asked, her voice trembling. It cleared the fog of my ill-placed anger, that thing that had been my companion for the better part of my life, an apparent consequence of my upbringing before I was welcomed to the Burton’s household. I couldn’t shake that thing off. “You’re a piece of work, Wyatt. Are we done now?’’
I took a step toward her. When she didn’t move, I took another until I was standing so close to her I smelled her fruity perfume, felt the heat coming from her body. Her uneven breath hit my collarbone and chin as she tilted her head up to keep her eyes on mine. She didn’t back down, and I’d be damned if that didn’t do something to me, inside where I was the more twisted and fucked up.
“I hate you, Marissa.’’
“Back at you,’’ she said, eyes narrowed. The tiny muscle in her cheek jumped.
“Good.’’ I nodded and took her small chin between my thumb and pointer finger. Her skin was hot and so smooth I craved kissing her skin, all over her body until she yelled my name without any anger lacing her voice. “You’ve fucked me up even more than I already am. Just one look in your violet-blue eyes. Just one word. And I’m more fucked up than I was before I met you. I’m unbalanced and very deep down I’m not a good man, but apparently, I’m also twisted because even if I want you out of my life,’’ I glanced down her cleavage and caught a hint of pale blue lace, “I want you in my bed even more.’’
Her eyes widened and her mouth opened to let out a gasp that made my balls tighten.
“Shut up,’’ she whispered and pulled her head back, severing the connection we had.
I dropped my hand and closed my eyes, wishing I wasn’t drunk, that I hadn’t spilled all of this nonsense in front of an audience.
“I don’t know what you want from me, Wyatt, but lose my number. I can’t do this.’’
And when I opened my eyes, she was gone.