MARISSA
“Thank you for coming with me, Jamie. I hope it doesn’t bother Aimee,’’ I said, tightening my grip on his arm when QB District came into view with its electric blue neon shining on the façade of the nondescript building. My palm was so sweaty my hand kept on sliding over the leather of his jacket.
“She's having a girls’ night with her cousin and sister at home. She was happy to see me leave. And anyway, after what you’ve told me about that Wyatt guy, I want to meet him. We’ll see if he’s a prick when I’m around too.’’
The anger in my brother's voice had me reconsider my supposedly brilliant idea of inviting him to this night out. Jamie wasn’t a fighter at heart, but I knew that in some instances he didn’t hesitate in throwing himself in with all the rage he could muster up. A few things could set him off, and the easier way to make him go ballistic was to hurt his wife or me.
“Don’t… you know, punch him.’’ I sighed, and with my free hand, I kept my leather jacket closed when a gust of wind swept over us. For a spring night in Atlanta, it’s oddly chilly compared to the usual hot and humid air. “I don’t want him to know he gets to me. The asshole would get off on it.’’ I screwed up my face at the thought and got my phone out of my pocket.
“I’m pretty sure he already knows, sis. You’re not that good at hiding your thoughts. Or your anger.’’
I mumbled something noncommittal and quickly typed a text for Ralph to let him know I was out. I glanced at the line of people waiting to get in, and I had my doubts as to if he’s going to be able to get me past the brick house of a bouncer at the door, checking IDs even when girls in barely-there attire tried to charm their way in.
“Is this Ralph?’’ Jamie asked me, tearing me out of my thoughts and pointing at someone going out.
I didn’t need more than a second to know it wasn’t Ralph, but Wyatt. He wasn’t wearing any jacket and his muscular arms, tattooed, stood out against the light blue of his t-shirt. As a future tattoo artist, I couldn’t help the appeal I felt at seeing his ink. But one quick glance at his scowling face killed the warmth invading my body before it reached out too far, and yet, his presence alone had me sucking in my breath while my heart went into a frenzy of beats in my chest.
With his long legs, it didn’t take him long to reach us, but he barely spared me a look. No, his scowl and dark eyes were on my brother, cataloging every single thing before he stopped in front of us and finally decided to stare my way.
“Marissa.’’ His voice was low, gruff.
“Wyatt,’’ I replied in the same manner, but it came out more shaky than I’d like. My whole body coiled tight while my fingers dug into my brother’s jacket. “I thought Ralph would come out.’’
“You mean you’d have preferred it,’’ he retorted with a sinister smirk that had me shivering. “He’s a bit busy in there.’’ He waved distractedly at the building behind him. “Who’s your guy?’’
“Jamie is my brother. Why?’’
Maybe it’s a trick of the city lights and the bright neon behind casting an eerie blue halo around him, but I thought his shoulders relaxed. A surprised look temporarily replaced his scowl as his eyebrows got lost behind his thick hair hanging over his forehead. He ignored me and faced my brother, extending a hand. I glared at them when my brother shook it without hesitation. I pulled my hand away from his arm and huffed silently.
“Hey man, I’m Wyatt Burton.’’
“I gathered. Just a friendly advice, keep your temper in check tonight around my sister.’’
Wyatt tilted his head, still fixing my brother, towering over him and muscles bulging as he crossed his massive arms over his equally big chest. I cringed and silently prayed these two weren’t going to go into it right now. I covered my eyes with a hand and took a deep breath.
“Duly noted,’’ Wyatt said with sarcasm so thick it’s grating.
I dropped my hand and glared at him. “Nice. Now get us inside.’’
“Eager to see Ralph again? I must warn you. He’s currently in much better company.’’
I hid my sudden disappointment, and to someone else, they’d probably think it’s because I was interested in the faux-hawk wearing guy, but it’s nothing like that. I came here tonight because Ralph was a friendly guy and I assumed maybe he’d play interference between his friend and me. Now, I could only count on my brother. Unless…
I took in Wyatt and shrugged. Maybe the asshole would find someone to keep him otherwise occupied.
“What do you want me to say, Wyatt? You think you have me pegged anyway.’’
We stared at each other in silence, and I forgot that my brother was standing next to me, that we’re in front of a club… That I hated this big surly guy.
He was one of those people that when you looked in their eyes, looked deeply enough past the bullshit standing in the way, you found yourself trapped in something you couldn’t name, but that made everything inside you go berserk.
Jamie cleared his throat, and it’s as if he slapped the back of my head just like when we were kids and I annoyed him. I turned my face away from Wyatt and thanked the blue neon and the night that must be hiding most of my sudden blush.
“Come with me,’’ Wyatt said and turned around without waiting to see if we followed.
“What was that?’’ Jamie asked me in my ear, close and quiet enough, so the big guy didn’t hear.
I didn’t say anything. There’s no answer. I had no idea of what happened, but I knew the resulting issues.
I was turned on, going back from a very foreign high.
I’d been with men. I’d had terrific sex, some sweet sex, some bad sex, but nothing had prepared me to feel turned on by a glare from a scowling giant when all I wanted was to slap him across his smug face. That was, that’s what I had thought I wanted. Now, I wondered if my hatred for this man hid a deeper longing I’d rather squish before it took over the forefront of my mind.
People in the line waiting to get inside started complaining as we passed by them and the bouncer let us in with a nod and a wink for me that made me shudder. The man was probably more than twice my age with yellowish teeth and a receding hairline.
As soon as we gave our jackets to the people waiting in the short dark hall leading to the club, we entered the main room. I had to blink a few times to get accustomed to the strobe lights, the pack of moving bodies in the middle and the long bar in the backlit by blue neon lights that were so bright it made my eyes water. Or maybe it’s the smell of spilled liquor and sweat that affected my tear ducts.
Wyatt had no issues leading us through the moving bodies, and as I followed him with Jamie behind me, it stunned me how many hands landed on his ass, chest, and arms.
It wasn’t my first foray in a club, but I would never be like these women sampling the goods of a passing guy. Even if the guy seemed to enjoy it. And he did. When he turned his head to look at some of these women, his annoying smile was there, and I bet his eyes weren’t scowling while looking at the cleavages presented to him.
We finally reached the lounge section, and I immediately located Ralph’s crazy hair. He’s focused on a gorgeous woman sitting next to him with flaming red hair. She’s nothing like the type of girl I’d imagine him with, but one quick glance and I knew there’s something. The woman had a simple black dress showing a hint of cleavage, but nothing scandalous. In fact, I thought I was showing more boobs than her in my low cut tank top. But the way they both leaned into each other, eyes searching, hands slowly touching thighs… There’s history there and probably something complicated.
Wyatt sat in front of the pair, nodding at a few other people sitting by. He kicked Ralph under the table and when he had his attention nodded my way as I took the seat next to Wyatt, pushed by my brother who was barely containing his laughter at my pissed look. Why did brothers always have to torment their little sisters?
“Marissa, hey! How are you?’’
I smiled at Ralph and the girl next to him, hoping it showed her I wasn’t here to steal her man and I guessed the message was received when she nodded at me and smiled gently. “Fine. I finished the design for your tatt earlier.’’
“Shut up! I have to stop by tomorrow to have a look,’’ he smiled at me, eyes dancing. He turned to the girl next to him. “Emma, this is Marissa. She works at InkSpired, a tattoo parlor in Midtown. She’ll be inkin' over this sucker.’’ He pointed at the awful piece ruining his sleeve.
Emma stared back at me. “Finally! Drunken mistakes shouldn’t be worn proudly like that.’’ I barely heard her light voice over the hard booming of the music.
“Depends on the drunken mistakes,’’ Ralph replied, a pantie melting smile on his face as his eyes went down her body, shamelessly checking her out and making her blush.
I turned away, feeling a bit intrusive suddenly. But when I glanced at my brother, I found him chatting with two guys from Wyatt and Ralph’s group. Great.
I sighed and leaned further into the lounge couch.
“Want a drink?’’ Wyatt asked me, his mouth so close to my ear I felt his exhale over my skin and smelled the faint trace of alcohol on his breath.
“You’re asking nicely. What’s up with you?’’ I bit my tongue hard when I realized I was looking for trouble. For once, Wyatt acted decently, and I was trying to get a rise out of him. He brought out the worst in me.
“Do you want me to be an asshole? It can be arranged,’’ he retorted without missing a beat, but this time around I didn’t detect the usual bite in his words that I’d learned to associate with him since I’d met him five days ago.
I turned sideways and faced him. There's something oddly intimate when you faced someone so close that you could see each eyelid on the other person, that you could make out their distinct smell and saw so deep into their eyes they seemed like they’re bottomless with countless things that made them who they were without you knowing anything about them. But at that moment, when you locked eyes, and your noses were almost touching, you thought you could reach out and maybe touch bits and pieces of who the other was at heart, even through the bullshit they broadcast far and wide.
Facing Wyatt like this, in the packed club with the music blasting so loud that it echoed through my chest and would undoubtedly make my ears buzz later tonight, I found myself unable to break the look, unable to pull away.
“Why do you hate me? I didn’t do anything to you,’’ I mumbled, and his eyes left mine to fix my mouth as I talked too quietly for him to catch everything with the music blasting and the people at our table talking loud and laughing.
He put an arm on the back of the couch, caging me partially. His forearm, warm, touched the back of my neck, tugging on a few strands that got caught in the wide leather band around his wrist. I didn’t need to look down at my arms to know my skin was breaking out in goosebumps. I sensed the small hair standing up, eliciting a slow traveling shiver through my body.
When his eyes went back to mine, I didn’t understand why my anger at him wasn’t more biting. Instead, I waited for his next words.
“You walked in my family, threatening our balance.’’
I frowned at him. “I met my birth mother to get answers regarding my conception. I’m not part of your family and I never will.’’
“Aren’t you going to keep in touch with my mother?’’ he pressed on, his eyebrows lowered over his dark eyes, hiding most of his expression from me. But I felt the tension coming back in the way he’s holding himself, in the line of his shoulders and how he gripped the back of the couch behind me. “You’ve walked in now. Things are going to change. Don’t delude yourself into thinking it won’t.’’
“What you’re saying is that you’re going to make me pay for my need to get answers. Is that it?’’ I locked my jaw, grinding my molars before I let out my frustration at him. I didn’t come out here tonight to get in a fight. I was supposed to be having fun, drinking, and dancing. I was supposed to be happy, not mad.
“Have you stopped to think just once before you barreled into my mother’s life what it’d do to her and her family? To her little girl?’’
I made sure to keep my eyes on his, so close it’s impossible for an outsider to know we’re in fact having an argument instead of getting ready to kiss. But kissing him was the farthest thing on my mind. My heart wasn’t just beating rapidly anymore; it’s hurting at each beat as if it’s breaking a bit more every time the muscle pumped blood, fracturing the fragile flesh.
“I’ve been wondering things about my birth mother since I was eleven, Wyatt. When I got the information regarding her family, I hesitated in risking a visit. I almost didn’t, but do you have any idea what it’s like to be wondering if your conception isn’t the result of abuse? Do you know what it’s like to have all these pieces about yourself missing? Do you know how scary it was for me to go and see Lydia?’’ I was breathing loud, my chest heaving uneasily. “Just… Forget it. I’ll be out of your hair.’’ I looked away, glanced at Ralph and found him busy whispering in Emma’s ear. I shook my head and turned to Jamie, still chatting and laughing with the other guys. I tapped on his shoulder, ready to let him know I was leaving.
He turned around, and one look at my face had him glaring at the man responsible for my emotional distress over my shoulder. “Marissa?’’
I shook my head. “Don’t worry. I’ll get a cab. Enjoy your night, okay?’’
“I’m not going to let you go alone.’’ He slid out of the lounge couch and grabbed my hand, glaring one last time at Wyatt before he towed me away without a single look or word to the guys he had been having fun with. I didn’t look back either. I was too caught up between the need to yell and the urge to cry. Nothing good could come out of an emotional shortage.
***
WYATT
I stood up, cursing loudly, but my voice got lost in the beat of the song I barely heard through the damn buzz of the blood beating against my temple. I ground my teeth and pushed away a guy standing in front of me, blocking my path to catch up to Marissa and her brother.
This time, I didn’t pay attention when a few women tried to get me to notice them. I didn’t give a fuck about getting a piece of tail to tie me over for tonight.
Right now, all I thought about was going to Marissa before she left. To what end? I didn’t have a damn clue, but it’s a need I felt from the pit of my stomach, a need so strong it made me break out in cold sweat at the idea of never seeing her again. For all I knew, she’s about to leave my life forever.
I had thought that’s what I wanted but… Not like this.
As soon as I left the darkness of the club, I looked around, convinced I missed them when I caught a glimpse of two people walking close to each other on the opposite sidewalk, probably heading to a busier street to grab a cab.
“Marissa!’’ I yelled, my voice a roar in the otherwise rather quiet street saved for the line waiting to get in the club. Heads turned to me, but I didn’t stop. “Marissa, wait!’’
But she didn’t respond. Only her brother faltered and glanced at me, a look on his face that left me no doubt; he wanted to fuck me up pretty bad. I couldn’t blame him. I’d ruin anyone who would hurt my little sister too.
He snatched Marissa’s elbow before she could get too far away and tugged her closer to him as I jogged, zigzagging between a few cars to join them on the sidewalk.
“If you’re here to upset her again, turn around now,’’ Jamie said, a warning in his voice as the muscle in his jaw ticked. He didn’t worry me, but I respected him.
“I need a word,’’ I replied gruffly, tugging on the collar of my shirt sticking to my chest from the humid air that chased away the night chill from earlier.
She shook her head and refused to look my way. “There’s nothing to say. Come on, Jamie.’’ She tugged on her arm and freed herself, took a step away and before I was aware of what I did, I forcefully turned her around and kept a hand on her shoulder. Her skin was warm and smooth, barely covered by the thin strap of her top. Shit, my hand covered all of her shoulder and part of her collarbone. I itched to delve my fingers into her thick hair and tilt her face back to… Yeah, it wasn’t the time to have that kind of thoughts.
“I need a minute.’’
She finally peered at me, and it made me feel shame. In her eyes, there’s a world of pain, some of which came from a place I knew nothing about. “Why should I give you this minute? Why are you even following me, uh?’’
“Maybe you should—''
“Don’t, Jamie. Don’t take his side!’’ She held up a hand to shut her brother up and shrugged me off. I tightened my grip on her, but when she narrowed her eyes at me, I let her go. “I’m done. It’s funny really. When I decided to meet my birth mother, I thought she’d be the one shutting me out, pushing me away and hurting me. I never thought it’d be a member of her family giving me hell for existing. Sorry, I’m alive, asshole.’’
She turned away once again, and I closed my hands into fists. “You don’t know what it’s like to be adopted at thirteen and be afraid of losing your new family. That damn fear has never left me,’’ I blurted out, voice rough as I shredded a part of me, bleeding it out through my gritted teeth. And fuck, opening that part of myself hurt.
She stopped, but her back was still to me.
“You’re her blood.’’
“She gave me up, Wyatt,’’ she whispered back. “You’re the one she went out of her way to welcome into her life.’’
This time, when she walked away, I let her. I barely noticed it when her brother jogged away to join her. My eyes were on her, and this time, I didn’t see her as a woman I’d have easily fucked if the situation was different, and I didn’t see her as an enemy either.
This time when I stared at her until she turned into the next street and the building hid her from me, I saw a young woman who was trying to live her life with the cards she’d been dealt with.
Like me.
But she wasn’t fucked up from it all.
She’s lucky, and she’s a great person.