Always but Always

Franka

 

“Goodness, almost a bull’s-eye.”

I jumped at Cora’s words and looked to her to see I was so engrossed in what I was watching out the window, I hadn’t even sensed her coming close.

And what I was watching out the window was Finnie and Frey, with some of Frey’s men and Lahn looking on, teaching Noc how to go about using a bow and arrow.

I’d been watching for some time, and I’d noticed in this time he not only took very little of it to feel comfortable with the weapon but to start shifting back further and further from the target with his aim, each time quickly coming more and more true.

“You want to get our cloaks and go out with them?” Cora asked, turning her eyes to me.

“Certainly not,” I sniffed and forced myself to move sedately from the window to take a seat on one of the two couches sitting parallel to each other by the fire. The couch I selected was empty. The one across from it had Circe and Brikitta sitting on it, Circe grinning knowingly at me, Brikitta regarding me closely.

I ignored both of them and reached forward to the tea service that had been laid out for us to pour myself some tea.

“She so does,” Circe declared, and I knew she was talking to Cora.

I also knew it was a tease.

But my deep-seated feelings of guilt and shame surfaced, and struggling with them now for some time I was unable to push them back.

Therefore I looked to Circe and snapped, “You do realize that not long ago my lover was tortured to death.”

Circe’s lovely face went stricken, and at the sight of it, my guilt and shame increased.

“I’m so sorry,” she said quickly. “I do know that. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No,” I stated, looking away, feeling my embarrassment in the heat in my cheeks and bringing my teacup to my lips but not sipping. “There was no reason for me to be curt when you were simply teasing.”

I sipped and hoped that was where the matter would lie.

My hope was in vain.

“It’s sweet, you and Noc,” Cora said, coming to sit next to me. “And it’s not bad, you and Noc. He’s a good guy, Franka. And he gets it. I don’t know, I’ve never lost what you’ve lost, but he’s that good of a guy, he’s just trying to be there for you, as we all are. And you should take that, babe. People caring. Let him in. Let us in. We might be able to help.”

“He is a…” I hesitated before I tried out the words, “good guy. It’s not like I don’t know this.”

She scooted closer to me.

“What I’m saying is, if you want to get your mind off things, it won’t hurt anything or anyone to put your cloak on and go out and be with people who like being around you and who want to be there for you,” Cora further explained.

“I’ve feelings for him,” I blurted.

Gads!

Now I was blurting my thoughts willy-nilly.

Cora stared at me and as she did I felt the room grow still.

Why I said it I didn’t know, but as was happening quite often of late, I couldn’t stop it and further, I couldn’t stop myself from continuing to share.

And this is precisely what I did.

“It’s wrong and it’s shameful and it’s disloyal to Antoine’s memory. He’s barely made his way to the lap of the gods and here I am, admiring another man.”

“There’s a lot to admire about Noc, Franka,” Circe said carefully. “The guy is hot.”

“As I understand this word in your vernacular,” I replied to her, “you are very right. That makes it no less shameful and disloyal.”

“I understand your struggle,” she murmured.

“It’s more,” I stated.

Drat.

Why couldn’t I stop speaking?

“More?” Brikitta asked, her regard of me kind.

I fastened on that and kept bloody speaking.

“These past days, in being with you and Kristian, and these past weeks, being with the others and their mates, I’ve realized the inadequacies of my relationship with Antoine. My mind conjures them frequently, doing so as if trying to find some excuse for the feelings I have for Noc.”

“Shit,” Circe murmured.

She understood.

Why did that feel so good?

“Indeed,” I replied.

“Okay, listen to me,” Cora demanded, and I looked her way. “Hot guys have power. Trust me. My hot guy looks exactly like Noc so I know. When we, uh…” she paused, only her eyeballs slid Brikitta’s way and then she looked back to me and went on, “first met, he hated me. Like loathed me. Seriously. And he made no bones about it. I still thought he was hot and totally got into it any time he touched me. And forget about it if he actually kissed me.”

I found this confusing.

“Why was he touching and kissing a woman he loathed?” I queried.

“Well, because he liked doing it and, of course, he kinda wanted an heir.” She looked fully to Circe and finished on a slight grin, “He didn’t mess about getting that taken care of.”

“So you’re saying,” I began, calling her attention back to me, “simply because a man is exceptionally attractive, I should feel no compunction about my utter faithlessness to a lover I committed treason for in order to attempt to protect?”

“The way you say it makes it sound really not good,” Cora mumbled, but her eyes were still lit with good humor. “Though,” she carried on, “what you didn’t get about what I said is that obviously,” she put her hand to her belly, inside of which the second child she would give Prince Noctorno was growing, and it was put there not simply because he desired another heir, “something was there between us. Something in the end that was really, really good.”

By the goddess Adele, this was true.

“What inadequacies?” Brikitta asked.

I looked to her, still shaken by Cora’s words. “Pardon?”

“You say your mind conjures inadequacies in your relationship with Antoine. What are these conjurings?”

“I kept him,” I informed her.

“What?” Circe asked.

I looked to her. “He was a prostitute. We suited. In order for him to be solely mine and give up his employment, I kept him housed, fed, clothed, entertained, etc., and I did so in a way in which he was accustomed. He was not a partner in my life, even though in some senses he was. To all intents and purposes, however, he was my paid lover.”

“Mm…” Cora mumbled.

“This is not unusual, Franka,” Brikitta stated quietly, and I watched both Cora and Circe turn surprised expressions to her and knew from their reactions that this was not the same in their worlds.

As they’d grown accustomed, they both hid those reactions before Brikitta caught them.

Then again, her attention was fixed on me.

Still kindly.

“And such arrangements are oft not long lasting,” Brikitta went on. “That does not mean there is not affection between the two players. Or even, as in your case, love. And it does not lessen your grief, no matter what feelings you have for a man who shows you attention, is sensitive to your circumstances and is very attractive. To end, what I’m trying to explain is, you’re declaring these thoughts as ‘conjuring’ as if you’re making them up, when in fact they’re quite true.”

I didn’t wish to believe it but it couldn’t be denied she was right.

However.

“It was not solely the fact that he was not a partner in the traditional sense. He was not thus in other ways as well,” I pressed on. “For instance, Antoine did not assist me in making life decisions. Or any decisions at all. It was not only not his place, it was not his nature. He was not a pillar to lean on when times were difficult, though,” I said the last vaguely as I’d just recalled it, “I was that to him when he had some familial problems, and, of course, the troubles his friends caused when he left the life they all shared and committed to me.”

I realized after some time when the silence became prolonged in the room that I’d fallen into my thoughts.

I focused, cleared my throat and kept speaking.

“He could be a sounding board when it was needed, but advice would not be forthcoming. Noc is both. He’s very strong, and although I dislike admitting it, he’s seeing far more clearly than I at this juncture in my life and provides excellent advice. He sees options I do not think of. And he has ways that are both annoying and heartening in sharing all this with me.”

“Antoine is not here at this time to provide such things to you,” Brikitta said gently.

“But I knew him and if he was here, he would not,” I returned.

“As you knew him, I cannot say,” Brikitta conceded.

“It’s like I didn’t love him at all, having these thoughts about him, doubts about what we had,” I shared.

Brikitta sat up straighter, stating in a sharp way I would never have thought she could speak, “It isn’t any such thing.”

“I disagree,” I retorted.

“Could it be, sister, that in the presence of a man who gives you things you prize, without Antoine here, you’re simply coming to conclusions you would have come to if he actually still was, though experiencing shame at coming to them because he is lost?” Brikitta inquired.

“I don’t understand what you’re saying,” I told her.

“Did you think you’d spend the rest of your life with Antoine?” she queried.

“I’ve no idea,” I answered, though the truth was I didn’t often think far in the future. I lived in the present. My future was always murky and swirling with menaces I didn’t wish to consider so I didn’t peer too closely into those depths.

But the truth was, Antoine loved me, as I loved him, but he was who he was and I was who I was. We were both always honest about that, nothing hidden, a freedom he gave me that I cherished.

He did what he did for employment because he was good at it and because he enjoyed it. There was a good possibility he would eventually seek other amusements.

And as discomfiting as it was to realize, there was an equally good possibility I would as well.

That said, I knew in my heart if there ever was to be a parting, that parting would be sweet, not bitter, and he would remain in my life in some manner, even if he no longer was my lover, for the length of it.

“And say Antoine was alive,” Brikitta pushed, “and you met Master Noc and found he gave you these things you prized and you were attracted to him. Perhaps doing this in a way you wished to explore. Would you not think on the current relationship you were in, knowing you’d never get these things which, Franka, are not things to prize but things you need? They are things any woman needs. They are not of value. They are precious. Knowing this about a kept lover or any man you were spending your time with, you would reconsider doing that—”

“Throw him over for something better?” I interrupted to ask incredulously.

“End the relationship so you can be in one to get not only what you want but what you need,” she clarified.

“That, too, is offensive to Antoine’s memory,” I told her sharply.

I told her this but I could not say she was incorrect in her words.

“That, sister,” she said softly, “if Antoine were alive, is the way of the world. Even more so as he was your kept lover. He would know this even better than you and would undoubtedly be planning for it.”

She’s right, Antoine said in my head.

Quiet, I snapped.

“This is but another excuse, Brikitta,” I said out loud. “And I appreciate your efforts to try to make me feel better—”

“You’re torn up,” Cora cut in and I turned to her. “And I get it, Franka, honey, damn. If all that had happened to you had happened to me and Tor came into my life like Noc came into yours, my head would be totally messed up about it too.”

“Mine too, totally,” Circe chimed in.

“You’re all simply being kind,” I declared.

“Yeah, we girls do that for each other,” Cora stated. “But, Franka, what you’re dealing with, we would not blow sunshine. No way. If I didn’t agree with Brikitta, I’d keep my mouth shut.”

“Me too,” Circe added.

“It also could be that you’re denying what’s growing between you and Master Noc, what we all can see quite vividly, because you wish to punish yourself as your parents have done for decades, not believing you deserve to be happy,” Brikitta put in.

“I wish to cause no offense, but that’s absurd,” I told her, truly not wishing to cause offense, believing it was absurd. “Lest I remind you, I committed treason for Antoine.”

“Nothing we’re saying negates your feelings for him, Franka,” Brikitta returned. “I know as fact you love your brother, and if he were to be taken by those witches, you would have done the same. Love makes us behave in a variety of manners we never would expect. You honored Antoine greatly with your action.”

I blinked in utter shock at this declaration but my sister-in-law was not done.

“What I wish to make clear to you is that you don’t dishonor him by living your life, feeling your feelings, thinking the thoughts you’ve had now that he’s gone. They’re natural. And you shouldn’t punish yourself for them. And it should be noted that no relationship, no matter how much love there is or how strong it may be, is perfect. I’ve no doubt you wish to think back on Antoine and what you had with him only with a rosy hue.” Her face softened. “But I think, my sister, that it’s also a natural progression in the process of grief to come to the realization that what you had was strong and beautiful, but it was not what nothing ever can be…perfect.”

She was not incorrect about that either.

It would seem for years I’d missed not only the fact my sister-in-law was quite pretty in her own way and gave my brother many precious things, but she was also quite wise.

“Not to mention, you put your life on the line to rectify that.” Circe did her own reminding.

My eyes moved to her.

“And I put my brother and his family’s lives on the line while committing the treason I committed,” I continued my own reminding.

“Babe, you’re churning through history,” Cora noted. “History is history. Break free.”

“You think it’s that easy?” I asked her.

“I think it would be harder than hell,” she answered instantly. “But I also think Brikitta’s right. Your parents,” she shook her head, “not good people. I don’t know what they made you believe about yourself but I was there in that jail. I heard what you said to them. I heard how they taught you to be. And I heard that you want to be something different. Don’t let them hold you back. Okay, you were how you were. You did what you did. But that’s over. Let that go. Let them go. And be who you want to be.”

I looked away from all of them, lifted my forgotten teacup and took a sip of the now-cool contents.

“Just be his friend,” Cora advised, reaching out a hand and wrapping her fingers around my thigh to give me a squeeze that I found quite bolstering. “He wants that. You need that. Don’t fight that. And whatever happens from here…”

She trailed off and I looked at her and saw her compassionate smile and slight shrug.

Staring in her eyes, allowing all their words to penetrate, I realized in some ways I was still agitated.

An uncertain future had a way of causing that.

But in more important ways, I was far less.

They did not think my thoughts shameful. They didn’t think any less of me after sharing them.

They were caring. And supportive.

And it couldn’t be escaped.

It felt nice.

And damn it all, I had to thank them for it.

“I appreciate you listening,” I murmured, leaning forward to put my cup in its saucer.

“Anytime,” Circe said.

“Definitely,” Cora said.

“With pleasure, sister,” Brikitta said.

I looked at them in turn, my lips tipped slightly up.

“Right, I want my babies. Naptime should be over. Should we pull the cord and have the nannies bring in the kids?” Circe asked, deftly changing the subject.

“I’d love that,” Brikitta declared.

“I’m on it,” Cora stated, jumping up and moving to the cord.

Now this was something to look forward to. The last several days, I’d spent some time with Timofei and in that time I’d been proved irrevocably correct. He was an almost unbearably handsome child, would most certainly grow up tall and straight like his father, and he was exceptionally intelligent.

I’d not seen him that day.

His arrival would take my mind from my troubles, much more than watching Noc excel with a bow.

Or at least I told myself that.

 

* * * * *

 

Prior to going down to avant-dinner drinks that evening, I stood in my dressing room with my brother, the doors to the locked wardrobe open, the chests also open, the furs folded, stacked and on display.

And my brother was speaking.

“Out of the question.”

I’d just offered him his share.

“Kristian—”

He turned a severe look to me and I closed my mouth.

“You went before the evil she-god Minerva, your life most definitely on the line, she could have cut you low in a snap,” he lifted his hand and did just that, “as penance for what you did. For my penance, I cowered in very well-appointed accommodations that, it’s true, I was not at liberty to leave, but there was no danger to life and limb.”

“You did what you did because of me,” I reminded him.

“Stop that,” he clipped.

I blinked in utter shock at his angry tone.

“You asked my assistance. I gave it to you,” he stated sharply. “I was under no duress to do so. You didn’t threaten me or my family. It was my choice, Franka, to help my sister who was in distress and I wanted to do something to alter that. I committed treason and I did it knowingly because I care about you. You bear no responsibility for that and I don’t wish to upset you, love, but it’s offensive you think me that weak that you feel you need to shoulder it for me.”

“I didn’t mean to offend,” I replied in a feeble voice I’d not heard pass my lips, not ever, not even when my father was doling out his punishments.

“I know you didn’t,” Kristian responded, his tone now gentle. “But, sister, you did it all the same so I’m asking you to stop.”

I tried a different tack.

“I certainly don’t need all this, Kristian,” I flicked a hand to the wardrobe, “and you know it’s true. I could give you but a quarter of it and you and Brikitta would want for nothing for the rest of your lives.”

“We did not earn that treasure,” he retorted.

“Fine, if you believe I did, then it’s mine to do with as I wish and I wish to share it with you. And,” I said my last word tersely, “if you refuse it again, then I’ll bestow it on Timofei, then, when he or she arrives, I’ll bestow more on your unborn child. That you cannot refuse.”

He scowled into my face for a long moment before he muttered, “You’re very stubborn.”

“Do not say this as if you haven’t known it about me the extent of your life,” I returned.

He looked to the treasure displayed.

I waited.

My brother said nothing.

I grew impatient.

“I’ve just decided to visit a goldsmith and have him immediately begin work on a set for Brikitta, earrings, necklace, bracelets, rings, at least one hundred Sjofn ice diamonds, with perhaps a few Korwahkian gems thrown in,” I declared.

Kristian looked to me, grinning and shaking his head.

“You’ve always been impossible,” he declared.

I tossed my head. “A trait of which I’m most proud.”

His next came abruptly, with no warning.

Though, even warned, it was one thing all my life I knew I could never endure without breaking.

“You know I love you.”

I took a small step back.

My brother did not take this nonverbal cue.

“From the first memory I have of you, I fell in love with you. As a child, you were so beautiful, dazzling, and that never changed. And even then, I felt your strength.”

“Please, Kristian,” I whispered.

“I would not be here without you.”

“That’s not true.”

“You know it is. My mind would have broken. They’d have driven me literally mad.”

I shook my head. “Kristian, don’t.”

He ignored my plea.

“I will love you until my dying breath. And I will tell my children stories of your courage and strength and the depth of love you had for me so often they will love you until their dying breath. And they will share this with their children in a way that the name Franka Drakkar will never die, but will be spoken with devotion and reverence until my line ceases to exist.”

I felt them, cold and wet, hovering on my cheekbones. The burn in my throat threatened to consume me as I fought to keep them back, but I failed.

They fell down my cheeks.

“Please go to this other world and find happiness, sister,” Kristian whispered.

I nodded, swallowed, and more tears fell.

He opened his arms and continued whispering.

“Now please come here so I can hold you.”

My feet moved me directly to him, right into his arms.

They closed around me.

The instant they did, the sob wracked through me.

It was painful, pain so deep, there was no cure.

And it was cleansing, a clean so thorough, I’d never, not once in my life, felt so pure.

“I wish I had magic like you do,” he said into the top of my hair. “I’d wipe away the scars that mar your beauty with ugly memories and remind you that you were never allowed to be happy. Doing this making you believe you have that right and you should reach for it.”

“Y-you…m-must…stop,” I stammered through my weeping.

“For you, Franka, I will stop.”

And he did as promised, holding me as the wet poured forth. Years of tears I was not allowed to shed, I did so, letting them leak into my brother’s shirt, dousing it, giving him the privilege for once, of returning the favor and absorbing my pain.

When I quieted to unladylike hiccoughs I didn’t have the energy to feel mortification over, his arms tightened and he said quietly, “You give Brikitta and I what you wish to give from your treasure, love, and we’ll accept it with glad hearts.”

I nodded.

One of his arms left me so he could put a fist light to the underside of my chin. He leaned back as he lifted it and looked down at me.

“I shall call Josette to see to you. Would you like me to share with the others that you’ll need to miss drinks and will join us at the dinner table?”

This meant I looked a fright.

Gods.

I nodded again.

He smiled at me tenderly. Shifting his fist so his hand cupped my jaw, he swept his thumb through the wet there. Once he’d done this, he bent and touched his lips to my forehead.

He straightened, gave me another squeeze with his one arm and held me steady until I made a slight move to share I was all right to stand on my own.

He let me go and went to the cord that would send Josette to me.

He pulled it and moved to the door.

Stopping at it, he turned to me. “I’ll see you at dinner, sister.”

I again nodded and replied, “You will.”

Another tender smile before he started to close the door behind him.

“Kristian,” I called.

He stopped and tipped his head to the side.

“You know I love you too,” I told him.

He stood solid in the doorway, eyes on me, and I watched them grow bright with wet.

I also watched the one tear fall.

And I heard the hoarse of his voice that was so beautiful, if it held healing power, the scars on my back would vanish in but an instant, when he replied, “That, my beloved sister, you truly must know I always, but always, knew.”

And on that, he shut the door, disappearing behind it.

 

* * * * *

 

Averting my face from Noc (who was my dinner partner, again) an hour later, with Josette’s assistance, feeling and more importantly looking refreshed, I sat down at the table as Noc held my chair.

Regardless, I averted my face, for I looked refreshed but Noc had a way of seeing beyond the surface, and tonight of all nights, this was something I didn’t wish him to see.

I busied myself with my napkin, my jaw tilted away from him as Noc took his own seat.

My efforts were instantly foiled when he barely got his arse in his chair before his lips were at my ear.

“Baby, what the fuck?”

Damn.

And he hadn’t even properly seen me!

I smoothed my napkin over my lap.

“Pardon?” I asked with an effort at innocently, failing miserably because this trait was something my parents stripped from me when I was five, so I had no idea how to pull it off.

“Look at me.”

Oh blast.

I couldn’t demur, he’d force the issue. At the dinner table. And it was safe to say I’d already endured enough mortification at this dinner table.

I turned to Noc and he pulled his head away while I did.

His eyes traveled my face and I fought both a blush and shifting in my chair.

He looked at me and his repetition was this time growled.

“Baby, what the fuck?”

“I’m returning to your world after Brikitta delivers my future niece or nephew safely,” I announced.

Noc did one of those odd blinks that was slow and included his eyebrows lifting.

“Say again?”

“I’m going to your world,” I stated. “And when I shared this with my brother earlier, he and I had a…” I struggled to find a word, “moment. I found it…” more struggling, “affecting. I needed some time to collect myself. I’m collected. Now I need wine.”

“Great. And now I don’t know whether to go high five Kristian for pulling that off or punch him in the face,” he declared.

My shoulders straightened with affront. “Why would you punch him in the face?”

“Because you look emotionally wasted by whatever was affecting and he was the one who did that to you.”

“Noc—”

“But you’re goin’ home with me so I should probably keep my shit.”

“There’s no probably about that,” I stated tartly.

Finally, the harshness in his face disappeared and he grinned.

That was worse.

Drat.

I moved past that and queried, “What does ‘high five’ mean?”

Inexplicably, he grabbed the wrist of the hand sitting in my lap and lifted it up in front of me.

“Palm out, fingers straight,” he ordered.

I did as told.

He kept hold of my wrist, and with his other hand, slapped mine.

I jumped in surprise at this preposterousness.

He then slid the hand holding my wrist up so his fingers were laced in mine and he brought both our hands down to rest on the table, like we were lovers out at an intimate dinner by ourselves, not sitting at a table in a palace surrounded by royalty.

By the gods.

Bloody Noc.

“High five,” he declared.

“Pardon?”

“Five fingers, slapped high, high five.”

Oh.

Well that explained the name of said maneuver.

But it did not explain the absurdity of it.

“Why would one do that?” I asked.

“To celebrate,” he answered.

“You do know that’s absurd,” I shared.

He grinned again. “You’re comin’ home with me, sugarlips. That means I’m gettin’ you into the Seahawks. We’ll be in Saints country, but you and me, we’ll keep our allegiance true. And when they kick ass, you’ll get the high five.”

“You do know that all those words are understood by me and yet all of them are not.”

His grin grew.

I sighed.

“Wine, milady?” the footman asked, and I pulled my hand from Noc’s to look over my shoulder at him.

“Absolutely.”

He nodded and poured. He barely got to Noc’s other side before I had a healthy dose down my gullet.

I took the glass from my lips, drew in a large breath, let it go and relaxed.

I ceased relaxing when Noc’s hand wrapped around my thigh under the table and squeezed.

This was not bolstering, as Cora’s squeeze had been.

It was something else entirely.

“Pleased as fuck you’re comin’ home with me,” he declared, thankfully letting my thigh go.

“Mm…” I murmured.

“It’s gonna be culture shock, trust me, huge. But you’ll get over that and love it.”

I hoped so.

I said nothing and took another sip of wine.

“Baby?” he called.

I looked his way and nearly downed the glass at the happiness warming his face and making his handsome so much more handsome it was almost unendurable to lay witness to.

“You made the right decision,” he decreed.

“I hope so, Noc.”

“I know so, Frannie.”

I nodded.

He smiled.

Hesitantly, I smiled back.

 

* * * * *

 

Late that evening, after Josette had prepared me for bed and gone to seek her own, I stood in front of the mirror in the dressing room and closed my eyes.

It had been so long since I’d tried this—and the last time I’d done it my mother had sensed it and punished me for it—I was quite certain it wouldn’t work.

But I needed to do what had to be done and I’d made a variety of decisions that day.

It was time to carry them all out.

Therefore I sought it and it wasn’t hard to find, the quickening I felt in my innards, always there in truth, but vague, and it having been there for so long, I’d learned to live with the sensation.

And ignore it.

Now, I focused on it, and the instant I did, to my astonishment, I felt it sparking up my spine, the sensation like the light touch of a lover, stirring tickles of awareness all over my skin.

I opened my eyes and saw the muted glow of the one lamp I’d lit had a sapphire, hue and the mirror in front of me had gone from clearly showing my visage to cloudy.

“By the gods, it worked,” I whispered, staring at the clouds in front of me as they started to swirl, those too, tinted blue.

I’d managed that, it was time to try my next.

“I wish to speak to you,” I said into the mirror.

I stood there and waited.

The clouds swirled languidly.

I waited longer.

Nothing but clouds.

Over time, I noted it was actually quite mesmerizing in a relaxing way.

But after more time elapsed, I noted it was also quite boring.

All right then, maybe it didn’t work.

I started to turn away, seeing the tinge of blue in the room starting to dissipate when suddenly, the entire room turned jade green.

My eyes flew to the mirror and I saw Valentine’s reflection there, not my own.

“I’m impressed,” she declared.

I’d done it!

“This delights me, my sister,” she stated. “It would seem you do have some instinctual understanding of how to harness your power.”

It seemed I did.

Excellent.

“I’m pleased you’re delighted,” I replied.

“Though, I have things to do,” she told me. “And although I’m communicating to you on the astral plane, it is taking my attention and I wish my attention on something else at this moment. That something is very good at waiting. But I’m in the mood not to do the same. So you had something to share with me?”

“Yes,” I replied. “I’ve informed my brother and Noc, and neither delayed in sharing it with the others that I will return with my brother and sister-in-law to their home, await the birth of their child and then journey to your world.”

This reminded me I hadn’t spoken of any of this to Josette, including the fullness of understanding the parallel universes (something I knew she understood, of a sort, considering the twins wandering around the palace, something I had not gotten into with her in any direct way).

Not to mention sharing with her I had magic.

I needed to rectify that first thing in the morning.

“But I must also note, where I go, if my maid agrees to go with me, she goes as well,” I added.

“Of course,” Valentine murmured. “I’m pleased this has progressed.”

I nodded. “And in an effort not to keep you, I shall also share that I’m agreed to learn how to use my magic and absorb what you stripped from my mother but only on the contingency that you assure me it is not tainted with her malice.”

“Magic is never dark, Franka, only the bearer of it makes it so.”

I found that most interesting.

“So you have no fears with that and I’ll set up the ceremony as soon as I’m able,” she carried on.

That made me somewhat anxious.

Valentine sensed it, even through a mirror.

“It will be glorious, Franka, and you will savor the memory of it until your dying breath.”

I lifted my chin. “Then I look forward to it.”

“As do I,” Valentine replied. “Is there more?”

Outside of wondering what an astral plane was, there was not.

I could ask that later.

“No, and I thank you for coming to me.”

“To receive this news, it was my pleasure. Goodnight, chérie, and you know I feel this way, but I will say it again, you chose rightly.”

With that, she faded from sight and her magic receded from the room.

But I stood there staring into the mirror that was now just a mirror.

And I did it hoping she was correct.

 

* * * * *

 

The next morning, first thing, before my breakfast tray even came, incongruously and in a way that would make my mother apoplectic and my father spit fire, I sat cross-legged on my bed opposite Josette, who was in bed and cross-legged as well.

I did this sharing with her I held magic and informing her of how my future plans had changed and that I desired her to change hers with me.

“It’s unlikely we’ll be able to bring Irene,” I finished. “Though, it’s my understanding things are much different there so it’s also my understanding we won’t need her.”

Josette simply sat still and stared at me.

“Josette,” I called.

She blinked but said nothing.

“Josette, my dear,” I called again, reaching out and wrapping my fingers around hers.

The instant I did, hers twisted and captured mine.

“We’ll not have an adventure, we’ll have an adventure,” she breathed. “And how exciting! You’re a witch!”

There were many witches in our world so I really had no concern she’d react badly to me being one.

But I was so worried that she would refuse to undertake something infinitely unknown with me, the light I did not see was budding in her eyes bloomed, and I fancied it lit the room with its brilliance.

“You’ll journey with me?” I queried to confirm.

“Anywhere, Franka.” Her hand held mine all the more tightly. “Everywhere.”

My heart felt light and thus, as I was learning happened, my mouth started moving.

“I don’t know what caused you to gift me such loyalty, Josette, but what I want you to know is that it means much to me.”

“My position means there were scars I could assist you with your clothing to hide from others, but you couldn’t hide them from me,” she shared readily.

“I don’t…” I shook my head. “How did that gain loyalty?”

Josette studied me with curiosity, asking me, “How would it not?”

“Many people have many scars for many reasons.”

“And all of them I admire,” she returned. “But you most of all for you lived your life and you did as you pleased and whatever caused those scars did not beat you. My father prized strength and taught my sister and me to do the same. He was himself so strong he refused to believe he could not save his family from icy waters. He didn’t stop believing, even dying because of it. This makes me sad. But that sadness has never cobbled me because I’m far more proud that he was that man and he died displaying that strength. And I didn’t allow it to cobble me for I knew if my father knew I had, he’d be disappointed in me. So,” she shrugged, “that’s it, I guess.”

After this, it was I staring at her.

“Oh no,” she whispered. “Are you going to become a simpering ninny? Because…you mustn’t, seeing as if you do, I will.”

I sniffed and pulled my hand from hers, declaring, “Certainly not.”

She grinned.

I curled my lips up at her and then stated, “I’m hungry, Josette.”

“Of course,” she replied, jumping off the bed.

“Josette?” I called, and she stopped her dash to the door and turned to me. “Tell them to prepare a tray for you as well. I wish to share breakfast with you this morning, and every morning I take it in bed in future. When you bring mine up, ask one of the other servants to bring up yours.”

Her eyes grew very large. “But…Franka, I…they’ll…this will be quite shocking to the palace staff.”

“And I care about this because…?”

This did not grant me a grin but instead a wide, bright smile.

“I’ll be back,” she declared.

“I’ll be here.”

The door closed behind her.

I looked to my lap.

“Finally,” I murmured. “It’s all sorted.”

I drew in a breath and lifted my head to let it out.

And then it was me whose mouth spread into a wide, bright smile.