I shove a hand through my hair, glancing around my well-furnished office as I take a breather from the pile of work that was waiting for me. Truth is, though, I’m relieved to have it. Never thought I’d be thinking anything like that, but can’t deny it. Helps take the focus of… other shit.

Yesterday had been a flat-out nightmare, both at the townhouse and everything after. I don’t know why I’d thought getting friendly with Dylan again would work out. If I’d been smart, I really should have just buried myself in a hole first thing in the morning, the temptation of Dillon’s dinner invitation notwithstanding, and waited for today to dig back out.

First off, what had all of that garbage with Cate been about? I can’t even think about the crazy hot scene I’d walked in on when I’m still so steamed about what came after. How dare she talk to me like I’m still some sort of townie street trash? It had been one thing when we were kids—none of us knew any better back then, and sure, maybe I’d still been a little rough around the edges but I’ve had plenty of time to buff it out since. We’re grown-ass adults now, and I know I present one hell of a package these days.

Her sheer lack of regard, all of that entitlement, it just blows my mind. Not that Cate and I were ever really friends, but Sully’s dead and I think I deserve just a little bit more courtesy.

I lost him, too, and I swallow hard, staring blindly at the file open on my desk as I try not to think too hard about that.

After I’d gotten out of the townhouse yesterday, the train ride home had been a nightmare. I got nothing against kids for the most part, and maybe I’d even like to be a daddy one day myself, but I’m definitely going to be the kind of daddy who makes sure his kid’s hands are clean so they won’t get a stranger’s very expensive slacks all sticky when they grab hold and rub their grubby, sticky mess into them.

The hits had just kept on coming, too.

Got off the train and ran smack into some fridge-sized Bruins fan. He body-checked me without looking, which ended up with his fresh, hot coffee landing all over my shirt. Worst part? He looks at me like I’m the asshole.

I can’t believe this city sometimes.

Tried to drop by the market after that, and of course nothing I wanted was in stock. Insult to injury after giving up on whatever slice of heaven I could have had in Dylan’s kitchen. I don’t know what kind of crazy shopping bug had hit the city, but for whatever reason, the shelves had been just about bare. I couldn’t even pick up a loaf of decent bread, and they were out of my favorite coffee beans, too.

Fucking ridiculous.

And the best part, of course, was when I got home. I tried to fix myself some early dinner and ended up dropping a chicken bone down the garbage disposal. Went ahead and rolled up my sleeves to take care of it myself, but at that point I was just sweaty, exhausted, and more than ready for bed. I ended up skipping a decent meal and just chowing down on two-day-old takeout.

The hell that was yesterday should have been over after that, and good riddance, but of course, the moment I’d started drifting off, Ma calls me up. Nothing new, no emergencies other than her entire life. She went on and on about the bills, and I had to sit there and “uh-huh” and “oh, really,” both of us pretending I couldn’t hear Pop in the background, whispering for her to ask me for money.

My old man always went on about the family name this, family name that, like he was doing such a bang-up job at bringing us any pride. I always get an earful from him about how I’m not living up to the Kelly name… right up until he gets someone to ask me for a handout. Guess that must mean I’ve done something right, huh?

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always tried to do right by my family even when they never did anything right by me, but it wears on a guy, you know? And no, not that I’d say it to my old man, I don’t give two shits about being a Kelly. Doesn’t seem to me that it’s a hell of a lot to live up to, if you want the truth.

Sometimes, no matter what name I carry, it feels like Sully was the only real family I ever had. Of course, my people couldn’t stand him, but it was his standards that pulled me up. Him that I wanted to make proud.

I swallow, glancing at the clock. Sully’s dying is like a hole, and even being here—smack-dab in the middle of the good life he helped me make for myself—doesn’t really help. And sure, today is still a wet dream in comparison to yesterday’s crapfest, but gotta admit, some days, it feels like maybe I should have just gone and worked construction with my brother. It would have been a hell of a lot easier than being a high-octane criminal lawyer in the city, and even with the perks of the “better life,” it’s not always all it’s cracked up to be. Nicer clothes, some spending cash, but even if my digs are better, they’re still empty when I go home and get stuck eating takeout by myself with no one to unload about the day to.

I look at the clock again. It’s already creeping into the early afternoon and I’m not making much headway here. Every time I dive in, I keep finding my thoughts drifting to Cate and Dylan and this mess the three of us are tangled up in with the townhouse.

Screw this. Can’t focus, not doing any good here. Maybe it’s time for a real break. The kind I actually leave my desk for.

I stand up and grab my suit coat, pulling it on as I stride for the office doors.

“Hey, Jack.” It’s Tom, the second attorney on one of my cases. “You okay, bud?”

Guess it is a little early for a break. Not to mention it’s not really like me. Work is kind of all I’ve got, and just like Sully taught me, I give it my all.

“Yeah,” I reply, doing my best to push my jumble of screwed-up feelings out of the way and put my business voice on as I offer Tom a smile. “All’s well, I’m just a little claustrophobic today, know what I mean?”

“Ha, I can guess why,” he says, grinning back. “Saw that stack on your desk.”

“Yeah,” I agree absently, even though that had been more of a saving grace than a burden—today, at least. “Listen, mind covering for me for a bit? I ain’t all here today, got some family business to take care of.”

I’ll shoot some money over to Ma, so that it doesn’t turn into a lie. I take care of the finances for my parents, not that I’ll ever hear a thank you.

“Hey bud, no worries,” Tom says, and I sigh inwardly, relieved. “You owe me one, though.”

“I’ll catch you on the flip,” I say, then turn and get the hell out of there as inconspicuously as possible. No guilt, though, since it’s not like I don’t put in the hours and then some.

There’s a real nice brewpub down the road called Hamilton’s Wake; I go there every once in a while after work, real nice spot. Never been in before 6 p.m., though. When I head over, it’s chock-full of tourists and a bunch of other folks I don’t know.

I grab a stool at the bar. I know it’s early, but I don’t drink much as it is, so why not treat myself?

“You’re here early, sugar,” the bartender says. She’s a sassy little thing, a little bit punk, dyed hair, amazing breasts.

“Yeah, Tina, what can I say?” I rub my forehead for just a second. “Had a rough day.”

And fine, the rough shit was yesterday, but still holds true.

She smirks and cocks her head. “Want a drink to put those flames out?”

“Yes, please,” I say, finally feeling like I can exhale a little. “Macallan 18?”

“You got it, sugar,” Tina says, and flounces off with that fantastic ass of hers.

I set my hands on the bartop and let my head drop on top of them. Finally, some peace.

My mind drifts, and I start getting a mishmash of feelings and thoughts as I let myself process. Dylan, and how excited he’d looked when I’d stormed into the kitchen after Cate’s little show. I yank my thoughts offa that, but even focusing on Dylan… something hot stirs low in my gut.

Damn, but his smile always kills me.

I jerk my head up, making sure to ogle Tina’s rack as she gets my drink, getting my head back where it needs to be before I can think too hard about any weird feelings about Dylan. Still, just looking at a nicely put together woman makes my thoughts go straight back to Cate. How delicious her skin looked, all beaded up with water droplets over her spectacular breasts.

Nope.

Shouldn’t go there, either.

But… damn, even keeping my mind off all that, my mouth is still watering. Those sausages I missed out on. They smelled effing amazing.

I’m still staring at Tina, but I’m kind of out of it, too. Truth is, even though I’m still upset with Cate and Dylan, thinking about all the fun they must be having without me there to ruin the party, I have to admit that for a split second, even with all the bullshit, just being there in the kitchen with the two of them felt a little like family again.

The real kind; Sully’s kind, not the fucked-up version with my own people.

“If you don’t take this, I’m going to drink it for you,” Tina says, her voice snapping me out of my reverie. “Too beautiful a scotch to let it go to waste.”

She winks, and I laugh, but apparently it doesn’t hide shit, ’cause I see a look in her eyes that I can read like a book. Kind of the way it looks like she’s reading me.

Tina’s always been perceptive, but I guess all bartenders are. It’s like a job requirement.

“Thank you, Tina, you’re a lifesaver,” I say, picking up the glass and taking a sip as I wonder if she’s going to push or let my inner turmoil slide.

The lovely, smooth burn of the scotch goes down my throat, and even though I’m not a big drinker, I could get used to that. It’s a good alternative to wallowing, at least.

Tina bites her lip and smiles at me. Not really flirty, just… nice.

“Listen, I’m actually off work as of a few minutes ago. I swapped out with Bobby for the afternoon shift. You wanna buy me a drink, tell me what’s all over that face of yours?”

She’s sweet. And sure, maybe it’d be nice to vent a little.

“Pour yourself whatever you like,” I say, not worried about what she’ll choose. I can afford it, and the truth is, I’m not averse to the company or the offer of an ear.

Classic Tina, though. Offered an open slate, she goes right for a beer.

She pops open an IPA and leans over the bar. “Hit me,” she offers, smiling as she downs the first sip.

I turn the glass around in my hand, realizing I’m not really up to whining. But still, yesterday sucked.

“A friend of mine is in a real bad spot right now,” I start. Still feels good to say it, even if I’m not gonna admit how shitty my good life feels, some days.

“Oh yeah?” Tina responds, lips twitching like she can see right through me.

My friend, my ass.

“Yeah,” I say, forging ahead with the story like I don’t know she knows what—who—I’m really talking about. I take one more small sip, savoring the richness as it does that slow slide down my throat again. Fucking delicious. “My friend, uh, his mentor died recently, and a couple of people came back into his life that he hadn’t really seen in years. People that used to kinda mean something, well, one did, and one who also meant something, but was also kinda a pain in the ass—”

“Hey, sugar,” Tina cuts in, reaching out to give my hand a quick squeeze. “I know I’m a bartender, but we can cut the crap. I heard that Sully died.”

I blink. “How?”

I’d never even mentioned Sully to her, had I? Maybe I’d mentioned where I worked, and she knew it was Sully’s firm? Had she known him?

I must have asked that last one out loud.

“Of course I did,” Tina says, laughing. “You have no clue, do you? He bailed the boss out a couple of times, got him out of some nasty scrapes and helped him on a few cases. Boss gave him a little office upstairs that Sully could use when he needed to get away from everything. Huge tipper, that guy. Talked about you three a lot. You’re talking about Dylan and Cate, right?”

Now it’s my turn to laugh, in disbelief. You think you know a guy… I smile and shake my head. Actually, yeah. I did know Sully. Not sure why I’m surprised by Tina’s revelation, since he was always bailing people out. Helping without any need for recognition.

“There’s no end to the tricks up that man’s sleeves, even now that he’s gone, huh?”

“There definitely ain’t,” Tina replies, tipping back her beer again before waving a hand at me and adding, “But go on, I’m listening.”

“Alright, fair enough. Dylan and me, we were close when we were kids, you know?”

She nods. Guess Sully really did talk about us. Close is… the word ain’t enough. Doesn’t really do what we were justice. I’d never had a friend like Dylan before. He got me. Still does, even with all the shit between us, and the years.

And even though I don’t always get him.

I clear my throat, suddenly needing to explain it to her. Just needing to say it. “Close, like, never saw one of us without the other too far behind, thick as thieves, the whole nine. I don’t know if we were just friends, or something more…” I trail off, my stomach tightening that I’d actually said that last bit out loud. But Tina’s still just looking at me, so I power on. “It was ages ago, you remember what it was like. That… stuff didn’t really fly.”

“Oh, I remember,” Tina says, nodding. I know her people are like mine. She gets me. After a minute, she asks, “So what happened with the closeness?”

“Dylan ruined it,” I say flatly, not wanting to remember that part. “All of it. I just always assumed he was my friend, and was always gonna be there for me, and then…”

I pause, my voice trailing off as that visual of him kissing another guy pops right up in front of me. A guy. A guy who wasn’t me, not that I would’ve, but… fuck. I can still feel that sick-scared-mad feeling churning in my gut.

“He ruined it, Tina,” I repeat. “Dylan ruined our bond. I went off to college and didn’t speak to him for years.”

And fuck me if that hadn’t sucked.

“Up until the funeral?” she asks after a minute.

“Yeah, that was the first time I’d seen him or talked to him in a long time.” I’d been looking for him. Figured he’d be there, but still felt a little blindsided when I’d actually seen him. I smile despite myself. “Seeing him felt… good. It felt different, you know?”

I figure “different” isn’t going to make sense to her, since it doesn’t really make sense to me… until Tina nails it on the head.

“Not so lonely anymore?” she asks.

Yeah, that might be it. The word definitely strikes a chord in me. Loneliness. I hadn’t even thought about it that way, not once, but for all that I’d clawed my way up to a higher place in the world, it had been my companion. I didn’t fit with my people anymore, and I hadn’t found anyone to replace them. Not since pushing Dylan away.

“I had a really rough day yesterday,” I say, knowing I wasn’t answering her but my mind already skipping two steps ahead. Or back, maybe. “Just mistake after mistake all day long, and it started with a big fight.”

“You and Dylan?”

I grimace. “No, the other blast from my past.” Cate, I silently think. “When we were kids, she treated me like I was just another punk from the street, y’know?”

Tina cocks her head to the side, giving me an assessing look. “That doesn’t sound right to me.”

“I know, right?” I snap back, my indignation rising hot and fast again.

“No,” Tina says, holding up a hand like she can see me getting pissed. “I mean, that doesn’t sound like the girl Sully always talked about. This is his granddaughter, Cate, right?”

I nod, but I don’t get it. Or maybe I do. It wasn’t like Sully was going to speak poorly of his own flesh and blood. He’d thought the sun rose and set on that girl, and it had been a harsh wake-up call when I’d started to get to know her back when we were kids and realized how much she looked down on me.

Not gonna call Sully on that now, though, but Tina’s still giving me that quizzical look.

“Sully talked about Cate, huh?” I say, half curious, half just to be polite.

Okay, maybe that’s a lie. I’m pretty curious. Hell, as pissed as I am, Cate in that bathtub isn’t a sight that’s gonna leave me anytime soon.

Tina shrugs, running the bottle rim lightly against her lower lip before answering. “I don’t know,” she finally says, clearly trying to put her thoughts in order. “Sully just made her sound like she was shy. I always got the feeling she had some things she was struggling with, but he was never specific.”

“Entitled,” I mutter, but Tina shakes her head.

“You know how Sully felt about his position in the world,” she says. “Everyone was his equal, no matter the money or name or status. I can’t imagine he’d let his granddaughter grow up thinking like all the other rich assholes do, or that she’d treat you like that under his roof.”

This kind of catches me off-guard, but honestly, it’s too much to process at the moment. I know how things were. Not just then, but fucking yesterday.

I shake my head, not buying it.

Tina shrugs and takes a drink, not pushing it.

I’m pretty sure she’ll leave it alone completely if I want, but my mouth opens all on its own, and I end up spilling out more of my guts.

“Anyway,” I say, pausing after the word to clear my throat. Muster my courage. Whatever. I’ve never been big on talking about shit like this. Feelings. Tina’s just waiting on me, though, so I go on, “Her and Dylan were always close back when we were kids.”

I hadn’t resented it.

Well, yeah, okay, I had. Truth is, I always had to work at my relationships, just too prickly for most people, I guess. And I never, ever, had it as easy as those two seemed to.

Tina’s just staring at me, so I add, “It’s like they fell in a rhythm and didn’t even think about it. Like they just fit.”

“Oh, so she stole him away from you?” Tina asks, her lips twitching in what might have been a smile if she hadn’t hidden it behind her beer.

“No, nothing like that,” I say. And really, it hadn’t been. Cate had never taken Dylan away, it had just always bugged me that I wasn’t part of what they had, too. It was me and Dylan, or it was her and Dylan. But we couldn’t ever manage to make it more than that. To make it all of us. But whatever. I look down at my drink, mumbling, “The two of them, they just always made it look easy.”

Nothing in my life had ever come easy.

“I know the feeling,” Tina says, smiling. “I think both you and I come from a place of loneliness in our lives. You’re a big fancy lawyer in the city now, but I know that look in your eyes. I have it; everyone I like the most has it. Always an arms-length kind of thing. Hard to let people in when it might hurt to lose them.”

I scowl. Losing Sully still hurt. Losing Dylan back in the day had hurt like a bitch, under all my anger. Anger was easier, though. And Cate… I’d never had her to lose her, but there’d been a time when I’d thought we were all part of Sully’s makeshift family. When I’d thought we’d be… something.

“So, what?” I ask Tina, starting to get a little pissed off again. Always easier than feeling other shit, right? “This is my fault? For not making it easy on people who want to be close?”

“Hell, no,” Tina answers with a laugh, showing that the black cloud I’m sitting under doesn’t get to her. “It just takes a while for people like us, that’s all. It doesn’t come naturally, so we’ve got to work to let people in, to trust that maybe it will be okay if we do. Maybe practice assuming the best instead of looking for the worst, yeah? It gets easier the more you do it.”

“Yeah,” I snort, raising my glass to my lips to finish off the scotch. “I wish.”

But there’s something inside me that wonders if she’s right. And another part that’s scared to hope for it.

I can feel the pit in my chest growing. Loneliness is right.

“Give it a shot,” Tina says, smiling. “Always sounded to me like Sully thought the world of all three of you, and seemed like he knew a thing or two about people. And he also…”

She doesn’t finish that, letting her words trail away behind another long pull of beer.

“He also what?” I push, because she’s right. Sully knew people. What else had he said about the three of us?

Tina shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m actually surprised to hear you guys are fighting, I guess. Seemed like Sully always thought you three were close. Family. And now… here you are. All three back in each other’s lives.”

I snort, mulling this over for a moment. Back in each other’s lives because of Sully.

I came into the pub feeling one way, but after Tina’s words, I’m confused. Am I still having a shitty day? Because nothing’s changed, but maybe I feel a little lighter. Doesn’t make sense, but I’ll take it.

I finish off the scotch, take my money clip out, and slide some twenties across the bar.

“Keep the change,” I say, winking. “You earned it, listening to my garbage.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she says, feigning irritation. She can’t hide the fact that she’s smiling back, though. “Get outta here, big shot.”

“Thanks again,” I say, throwing my suit coat on and cracking my neck. A few moments later, I’m back out on the street and lost in thought, walking the sidewalks and mulling over everything we talked about.

I’m not paying attention to my surroundings, and I just about knock myself over running directly into Gary. Shouldn’t surprise me, given that we both work for the same firm and have good taste in drinks. I always liked Gary.

“Mr. Kelly!” he exclaims, grabbing onto my arm to keep me from falling.

I swear, that man is built like a brick house. He could have had a great career playing for the Patriots.

“Gary, hey, I meant to give you a call earlier,” I say, remembering for the first time. He’d reminded me a couple of times, but I kept putting it off.

The truth is, I still couldn’t fully wrap my head around Sully putting me in his will. He’d already given me so much. Not gonna lie, though, the thing with the townhouse was a bit of a twist that I didn’t fully understand. I couldn’t say I’d minded it bringing Dylan back into my life, though.

Or Cate.

Maybe.

The jury is still out on that one, but even being pissed at her… damn. No denying she’s always got to me, and that was even before I saw her coming undone like some kind of sex goddess yesterday in the bath.

I discreetly adjust myself, glad I’m carrying a briefcase.

“Nothing to worry about, Mr. Kelly, no harm done,” Gary’s saying, smiling at me and thankfully not seeming to notice my moment of distraction. “I was going to suggest that we set up a time to discuss the remaining provisions of the will. I also need to ensure that Mr. Smith and Ms. MacMillan are brought fully up to speed.”

Dylan had been surprised when I’d admitted to him that I didn’t get the thing with the will at first. You’re an attorney too, right? he’d asked. I’d just snorted. Ask me anything about criminal law or stick me in a courtroom and I’ll tear it up. Estate law? Yawn. Still, I knew once Gary walked me through it I’d follow along just fine.

And maybe the truth was I’d avoided going through the paperwork too closely because Sully’s loss still stung.

I was grateful for the consideration, him putting me in the will, but I also hated it. Hated that he was gone, I mean. Clouded my judgment, maybe, when it came to clearing up what shoulda been a simple thing to deal with in regard to the townhouse.

Can’t say I wasn’t great at avoiding what was hard to deal with, right?

“Sure,” I say to Gary though, knowing he cared about Sully, too. Well, that and he needs to do his job. The thing he said about bringing Cate and Dylan up to speed, though… suddenly I’m swamped with some kind of sense memory, all those delicious smells from the kitchen yesterday. Dylan had been cooking for me on Friday. I clear my throat. “About that, Gary. How about you let me talk with the two of them first? I’m going over there this evening anyway.”

I am? I guess I am now. Thanks, mouth, for running away without my consent. Saying it has got me grinning, though, and fuck if I coulda seen that coming after the perma-scowl I’d been sporting for the last twenty-four hours or so.

“Are you quite certain, Mr. Kelly?” Gary asks, sounding a little unsure. “Have you had a chance to review the provisions of the will enough to explain it to them?”

I shake my head, my smile slipping as my throat suddenly goes tight, and Gary’s eyes soften.

“It’s not a responsibility that you have to take on alone,” he says compassionately. “I’d be happy to take care of it. And… there’s the deadline to think about, of course.”

“No, it’s okay, Gary,” I say. “I’m headed there tonight. I can make sure we go over the gist of it, then get with you later to talk about the particulars, ’kay?”

Gary smiles and nods. “Of course, Mr. Kelly. In that case, I must thank you for freeing up my afternoon. I need to see to one more piece of business, and then I believe I’ll go home and catch up on my programs.”

“Still watching Hearts & Kisses, Gary?” I tease, remembering Sully doing the same to him. Who would have thought a man like Gary would have a soap opera obsession?

He laughs out of that huge barrel of a chest. “Yes, well, the quality of the writing is amazing,” he says, winking. “You find the things you love, and you stick with them. I’ve never seen any shame in that.”

That catches me a bit. “Funny how that works,” I mumble, for some reason flashing back to that scene I’ve never been able to wipe from my mind.

Dylan. I’d never even guessed he was gay before catching him in the act. Ruined our friendship, but even though he’d been the one to do something my parents would have been quick to label deviant, I’d been the one who’d felt ashamed.

Never quite got how that worked, but just as unfair as the rest of life, I guess.

I frown, but Gary pulls me out of the bad memories with a non sequitur.

“Mr. Kelly, do you remember the Monopoly game?”

The moment he says the words, I’m grinning again as the memory floods back to me. It was all of us, the five of us together. Me, Dylan, Cate, Sully, and Gary, all sitting around the coffee table.

“Yeah, I do,” I say, laughing. “God, Gary, that was ages ago.”

That day had really been something, though. A lot of good humor, smiles, and laughter. I remember Cate actually being totally okay that day, after a little bit of warming up. Dylan was doing an excellent job facilitating between the two of us, making sure he was guiding our jokes and conversations with a gentle, deft hand. Gary and Sully might have been the glue that held the entire house together, but Dylan was always the glue that held the three of us kids together.

Because the truth is, even with Cate’s bad attitude, it had felt like we were together. That we were something.

Maybe family, like Tina had talked about.

“I haven’t thought of that in years,” I add, missing it. Well, not Monopoly. Fuck if that game didn’t take forever. But that feeling. That was really something.

“Yes,” Gary says, cocking his head to the side and smiling at me. “It’s funny how we forget moments like that until much later on in life.”

He takes his leave, and I head back to the office, mentally rearranging the rest of my day with this added responsibility that I’d just taken on. My nerves almost get the best of me. What was I thinking? Sitting the two of them down to talk about the townhouse after everything that happened would be a nightmare.

I don’t even know if they’ll want me to come over.

Then I grin. Even without estate business to talk about, that’s a lie. Dylan always makes me feel welcome, even when he’s pissed, and Cate… well, she always makes me feel something, at least. So fine, whatever I have to say to make it happen, tonight we’ll talk. Maybe over dinner. One of Dylan’s fantastic dinners. And who knows, maybe it’ll go fine.

Maybe—unlike yesterday—it’ll go well, even.

After all, Sully wouldn’t have set it up so we had to deal with each other if he hadn’t figured it would work out, right?