An alarm clock was the last thing Kelly wanted to hear. That wasn’t true, because the growl from her stomach beat the alarm clock out for annoyance. She’d had a protein shake before going to bed, so she wasn’t sure what its problem was. She hated the reminder she didn’t get enough to eat, even if it was first thing in the morning.

Groaning, she rolled over and smacked her hand down on the blaring beeping coming from her right. The beeping meant it was nine, and it was time to get up and get ready to head to the airport. The thought made her groan again.

It had been a week and a half since she’d been home, and she wasn’t sure what she’d find when she got back. The wedding had kept her busy for most of the time, with Nina planning out the bridesmaids’ days efficiently. There hadn’t been a lot of time for sightseeing, which was fine in Kelly’s book.

It wasn’t her first time in the general New York area, not by a long shot. She’d spent months there working different shows, but almost three years had passed since then. She supposed there were new things for her to see, but she wanted to avoid any former acquaintances if she could. Most of the models she’d worked with were probably out of the main scene. Unless you had the “it” quality, there was a limited time your presence was needed. It was a rough industry, which was why Kelly was happy to be out of it.

The other girls wouldn’t be around, but they were only a fraction of the group Kelly was happy to never run into again. She’d made plenty of enemies over the years, not that she’d meant to. That was just how things worked.

She shook her head, clearing the bad thoughts that always came up when she started thinking about how things were. The naïve girl who’d blindly followed her agent’s advice was long gone, and there was nothing she could change about the past, so it was stupid dwelling on it.

Kelly rolled over and stretched out on the queen-sized bed. It was a little too firm for her liking, but she wasn’t complaining. Her sister and brother-in-law had a beautiful home for their small family. Kelly was lucky the guest room hadn’t been turned into another nursery. They already had a six-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son. Kirsten was vaguely talking about a third kid, so it was only a matter of time before the family grew again.

Kirsten had always been an overachiever. Kelly was twenty-five with no immediate plans to get married or start a family. Sure, she had Trent waiting for her back home, but they’d been together for four months and hadn’t talked about their future, not even eventually moving in together. Truth be told, Kelly was against it ever happening. She couldn’t stand the idea of sharing her space with someone.

It wasn’t so much the idea of seeing her things next to someone else’s that bothered her. It was the idea that someone would be there to see the days she couldn’t keep her demons away and skipped a meal or two. Trent knew about her past, but he was more wrapped up in the fact he was dating a former model than the problems she had with body image and food.

He probably wouldn’t say anything if she neglected to eat for a day or two, which was one of the main reasons Kelly didn’t break up with him. That sounded so stupid when she thought about it, but she’d had boyfriends who thought they could help her with her problems by making huge meals and pushing calories in front of her. Being told she should eat only made things worse, so those relationships didn’t last very long.

As it was, Trent probably wasn’t going to last too much longer. What little chemistry they’d had when they first met was waning. She kept pretending that wasn’t the case, which was why she’d been very clear with Jake he didn’t have a chance. Honestly, the hot hockey player had a good shot, but they weren’t exactly living close enough to each other to think seriously about that. She’d taken off from the reception, after he’d given her an exit strategy, so she didn’t have to think about how horrible she’d feel about cheating on Trent.

Kelly sighed as she listened to the silence around her. Most mornings since she’d arrived were anything but quiet. Kirsten and Brian were usually hustling to get ready for work, while their nanny tried to corral two rambunctious kids. There was screaming and yelling to give one of the kids back whatever the other had taken from them.

It had been annoying at first to wake up to so much noise, but Kelly had grown used to it. Somehow, she must have slept through the usual morning routine. The silence she’d been used to before now sounded weird. She rolled over and verified it was really nine o’clock. The alarm clock said 9:02, so she hadn’t messed up setting it. She would’ve set her phone to go off, but it never seemed as loud as an old-fashioned alarm clock.

Throwing her legs over the edge of the bed, she got up and decided silence or not, she needed to get going. Her plane took off at noon and traffic on a Wednesday morning would be hell. She already knew that traffic in and out of New York was basically always hell compared to what she’d grown used to, but that didn’t change the tension she felt building up having to deal with it. She wasn’t even going to be the one driving.

She ran a brush through her long golden hair, then she threw all the toiletries she’d set out on the attached bath’s vanity into a bag. She was just finishing brushing her teeth when her phone rang. It was probably Kirsten calling from work to make sure she was up and moving.

Kelly ignored it to pull out a string of floss. There weren’t a lot of things her mother had embedded in her daily routine that she still did, but the twice-daily teeth-cleaning routine was still going strong. That routine was interrupted by her phone ringing again.

She sighed, knowing her sister wouldn’t stop until she answered. Putting the floss down, she walked back out to the bed and grabbed her phone from the table with the alarm on it. She barely registered that it wasn’t her sister’s number when she put the phone up to her ear.

“I’m a little busy, so if you’re trying to sell me something, the answer is no.”

“Is this Kelly Martin?”

The voice didn’t sound deterred from her way of answering the phone. She was sure she’d never heard the mild, bordering on a little high, male voice before.

“Are you selling something?”

  The only unknown numbers that called seemed to always be telemarketers. So even though they didn’t hang up from her immediate assurance she wasn’t interested, there was a good chance someone wanted to talk to her about a timeshare or offer her some kind of tech support.

“No, I’m not, ma’am. This is Sergeant Kline with the NYPD. If you are Ms. Martin, we’ve been trying to get ahold of you. The Dallas police haven’t been able to speak to you in person. There’s been an accident, and we’d like to speak to you before you hear about it elsewhere. Can you tell me where you are, so we can send someone to you?”

It was weird that Kelly felt goosebumps sprout up her arms, because her mind went completely blank. She was close enough to the bed that she let her knees buckle to sit down. The shock spreading through her body was overwhelming.

“Are you still there, ma’am?”

Kelly didn’t know how much time had passed before he asked the question. Her mind had fired up again and was going over the possibilities for the call. She was fairly certain there was only one reason the police in New York would be calling her to let her know about an accident.

“Is she alive?”

Sniffing, Kelly tried to wipe the tears away from her eyes, but it was a losing battle. She hadn’t realized she’d started crying.

“It’s really better if you let me send someone to speak to you. This isn’t the kind of thing we like telling a loved one over the phone.”

“Is she alive?”

Kelly’s words were more forceful. She didn’t care whether the guy liked sharing the news over the phone or not. She preferred that it wasn’t done in person. She hated people feeling sorry for her, and there was no doubt in her mind that pity would have been oozing out of whichever cop was the unlucky one to tell her.

“If you’re asking about your sister, I’m sorry to have to tell you that she didn’t make it. I know you don’t live in town–”

“I’m actually in town,” Kelly said quickly. “So, if you could tell me where my sister is, I’d like to see her.”

He went on to indicate what morgue and offer to send someone to pick her up, but Kelly assured him she could get there on her own. Since her body seemed to be shutting down, she had no idea how she’d accomplish that, but she’d figure out something. She had contacts in the city that could get her a little something to make the numbing pain easier to deal with. As much as she hated getting in touch with them, she knew there was no way she’d make it through the coming days without some help.

After she hung up, she realized she hadn’t asked about Brian. They usually called the spouse to let them know about a death, so Kelly didn’t think it was likely he’d made it out alive either. The man on the phone could have told her one way or the other, but she’d spaced out a few times.

Even with the information in hand, Kelly didn’t move to throw on her clothes and get to the morgue. Kirsten was the only family she had left, after their mother’s death from cancer. Her father had died in a work accident when she was five, so she didn’t really remember him. There were aunts, uncles and cousins, but no one Kelly had ever been really close to.

The sound of a child running through the house snapped her out of a daze she’d fallen in. Not only had she forgotten to ask about Brian, but she’d totally forgotten about the kids. Since Brian and Kirsten were more than likely on the way to work, she hadn’t considered whether the kids were with them.

She scrambled off the bed and grabbed the pair of jeans she’d set out for the day. Throwing them on, and then a tank top, she slipped into her sandals and hurried to get downstairs. She managed to grab her phone and her wallet in the rush. She felt like she should call someone and share the news, but she didn’t have anyone to call.

Trent was a possibility, but it’d take him hours to show up, not that he’d drop everything and rush to comfort her. That wasn’t how their relationship worked.

Voices from the kitchen got louder as she got closer. Simon was asking for blueberry pancakes, while his nanny insisted he’d already had enough breakfast, and it was time for just a snack. The concept of having breakfast before ten was foreign to Kelly, so she shook her head as she entered the room.

Mia, the nanny, looked up at the intrusion and quickly back down to the fruit she was cutting for the kids. She only took one slice before her eyes lifted again. The two women didn’t know each other well, but Kelly’s disheveled look told a story. Mia’s eyes widened slightly as she took in the other woman’s appearance.

It had surprised Kelly to see the kids’ nanny was only in her twenties and was a beautiful blonde with green eyes. When she thought of nannies, she thought of the mid-forties or older caregiver types, not the college student looking to make some extra money.

“I have to head to the hospital for a little bit. I don’t know exactly what kind of arrangement you have, Mia, but is it possible you could stay overnight?”

Kelly’s knowledge of the nanny was only that she wasn’t live-in. She came while Brian and Kirsten were at work and left each day. Revealing that an overnight stay was necessary shared some of the severity of the situation, without saying anything that would worry the kids. Kelly had no idea how she was going to tell them and hoped someone else would appear to take that responsibility away from her.

“But I thought you had to go to the airport this morning,” a confused Fiona said as she looked over at her aunt.

Apparently, the tears in her eyes weren’t a dead giveaway something was wrong, because the little girl didn’t question them. She just looked at Kelly with her big blue eyes, so much like her mother’s, and waited for an answer. Kelly bit her bottom lip for a second, and then tried to paste a smile on her face.

“Something came up, pumpkin. I think I’m going to be staying here for at least a few more days.”

She had to plan the funeral and make sure the kids were settled. She vaguely remembered Kirsten mentioning Brian’s parents in Florida. Kelly figured that was who they’d end up with, if Brian hadn’t made it out of the accident. He didn’t have any siblings, and Kelly wasn’t in a place where she could raise two kids, so the grandparents were the most logical place for them.

Focus on the kids, she told herself. Anything other than the fact her sister was dead.

The smile that spread across Fiona’s face caused a lump in Kelly’s chest to fester. All the little girl knew was that her auntie was extending her trip, and that made her happy. Kelly had no clue how she was going to tell her that her mother had died.

Fiona was only a little older than Kelly was when her father passed away. She had vague memories of him tossing her around and calling her his angel. Would that be all Fiona would have of her mother when she grew up?

And what about little Simon? He was still mastering talking. Would he remember anything about his mom?

Kelly had managed to stop the flow of tears, trying to put on a brave face in front of the kids, but the questions caused them to start again. She really hoped Brian hadn’t been killed. Losing one parent was bad enough. The kids needed someone to remind them of who their mother was and how much she loved them.

“I’ll stay as long as I’m needed.”

Kelly started when she felt a hand press against her upper arm. Mia had walked over and was trying to do something to comfort her. Kelly turned to her and saw that her green eyes looked a little watery.

“How bad is it?” she whispered so the kids couldn’t hear.

“The worst,” Kelly replied in an equally quiet tone.

She heard Mia’s breath hitch. Kelly didn’t know how close the nanny was to the parents, but she clearly cared for the family from all the time she’d spent with the kids.

“Well, you better get going.”

Mia didn’t let on that anything was wrong as she walked back over to the counter and put the cut fruit into two bowls. Kelly marveled at how easy she made it look. Maybe she wasn’t as close to the family as Kelly had observed.

“Kirsten gave me your number just in case of emergencies while you’ve been in town. I’ll text you in a little bit, so you can let me know how your friend in the hospital is doing.”

Kelly nodded when the nanny looked her way. The kids hadn’t asked anything about the hospital, but as far as Kelly knew, their knowledge of it was limited. They were too engrossed with their snacks to start asking questions. Kelly wished she could be that carefree.

Instead of hanging out with her niece and nephew while she waited to head back home, like she’d planned for that morning, she took out her phone and ordered a ride to the hospital. It was going to be at least a thirty-minute ride from Wood Ridge, with traffic it’d probably take a whole hour. She was sure the entire way would be spent crying. It took everything she had to keep the waterworks from flowing again until she walked out the front door. She needed to find something to keep her from totally breaking down, and she had a good idea where she could do that without running into any problems from her past.