BARBARIAN LUSTY LOVE
Chapter 1
I spent my entire life pleasing only myself. Admittedly, I have been selfish. But the truth is, I was actually scared. Scared of building myself up onto a pedestal only to secure my own demise. I always found it much easier to maintain low standards. It is hard for people to expect much from you when all you have ever done is glide. That way, no one gets hurt.
As of today, I wish I had done more.
The call came in late last night minutes after escaping the pursed lips of a drunken German. Granted, he was compelling and intelligent. His square jawline, blonde hair, and blue eyes immediately captured my attention. I let him smile at me, which apparently was a global stamp of approval allowing him to break the communication barrier.
“Hallo liebling.”
I jolted as his hand found the small of my back.
“Sorry, English. No German.” I lied, turning back to my drink.
I heard this term of endearment more times than I could count since I landed in Hamburg last week. My own blonde hair and blue eyes screamed Fräulein and apparently I had a sign on my forehead that read Single. But I wasn’t interested in the mindless bar-conversation that tended to lead to one thing: the bedroom.
“Felix.” He ignored and offered me his cold, clammy hand.
Uneasily I shook it using only my fingertips. “Pleasure.” I turned away.
“You haven’t told me your name yet.” His accent was rich and heavy.
“I hoped you didn’t speak English.” I blurted seeing no reason to string him along.
“Funny.” He laughed and hopped up onto the stool beside me.
Why did guys always think I was trying to be funny? I was being blunt and honest. I was trying to avoid this very thing: conversation.
“So tell me funny-girl, where are you from?” He snapped his fingers to grab the bartender’s attention.
“I don’t know my address.” I sipped back the remainder of my beer and reached for my jacket. Felix placed his hand on my arm in attempt to stop me.
“No name and no address.” He smiled. “So you’re funny and mysterious.”
“No, I’m uninterested and exhausted.” I snapped back shrugging into my jacket.
“Bartender, zwei Bier!” He turns back to me. “Just one drink?”
I look at the door and then back at Felix. He was sort of handsome, in a college frat boy way. And who was I to pass up a free beer? I sat.
The bartender slid the beers along the counter toward us and Felix smoothed out a crumpled bank note against his thigh before tossing it to him.
I reach for my beer but Felix snatches it before I do.
“You get a free drink on one condition.” He pauses. “You tell me your name.”
“Kate.” I pulled my beer free from his clammy hand and bring it to my lips. Drinking might be the only thing that helped me survive the ten minutes of bar-talk with Felix.
“A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”
Cliché.
My beer was half gone by now. Only minutes remained before I would receive the phone call that changed my life.
“You really don’t say much.” He reached out and tucked a piece of wavy blonde hair behind my ear.
I don’t like being touched. I pulled away.
“I’m only here for the free beer.” I rhymed and raised my near-empty glass in the air.
With the glass back to my lips, I sucked back the rest of the ale in a hurry to escape this touchy, space invading, German.
“Well Felix.” I turned back toward him. “Thanks for the drink.”
I got to my feet and he followed suit. Before I could protest his arms were around my waist and he was leaning over me with loose lips.
Then my phone rang. Saved by the bell. Or so I thought.
“Excuse me,” I smiled and wiggled my waist out of his reach.
Once outside, the cool November air filled my lungs. I breathed in deeply in attempt to eliminate the foul stench of smoke that lingered in the bar.
I fumbled around my bag in search of my mobile. Buried deep under ticket stubs and expired granola bars, I brought the device to my ear.
“Hello?”
“Hello, my name is Lieutenant Hooper. I am looking to speak to Kate Alley.” A woman’s voice spoke sweetly yet sternly.
“Speaking.”
“Ms. Alley, I understand that you are currently abroad and I apologize for the timing of this phone call.” Lieutenant Hooper exhaled. “We have some bad news about your parents.”
***
My parents’ decision was to be cremated in event of an accident. There was no ceremonial burial, no flowers, and no fuss. We had no family remaining. Mom and Dad were each an only-child and my grandparents had passed when I was young. There were no aunts, uncles, or cousins to mourn the loss of my parents. I was the only Alley remaining.
It had been more than four years since I stepped down on American soil. After my high school graduation I packed my bag and never returned.
Mom and Dad always called to check in on special occasions such as birthdays, Christmas, and Easter. With every phone call came the desperate question, “When are you coming home?”
Home: This is a word I would never fit into. I never stayed anywhere long. When people started remembering my name, I took it as a sign to move on. Habitually my bag would be packed and I would disappear with the next rising sun.
Now standing here, alone, I felt unfamiliarity. For the first time, I was regretful. Mom called me last Christmas with pre-purchased tickets that would take me from the beaches of Thailand to the cold winter of North Dakota. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t show.
The breeze picked up sending my hair into a spiraling mess. A slumped down to the ground and rested my head on the tombstone behind me.
Cathleen and Kevin Alley
2370-2416
Beloved parents of Kate
I traced my fingers along the engraving.
Beloved parents of Kate.
BelovedparentsofKate.
Beloved. Parents. Of. Kate.
I was uncertain if my parents requested this inscription on purpose. Perhaps in hopes that in their afterlife they would be reminded that they did in fact have a daughter. Or maybe it was my Mom and Dad’s way of reminding me that I did in fact have parents.
I continued tracing daughter in attempt to make the word sink in. I had parents who loved me and supported me. They asked nothing of me except the occasional visit which I tirelessly declined. This was the first time I realized that even through all of my coasting in life, I did indeed unintentionally succeed at letting them down. I traced daughter until my fingertip went numb.
Mom and Dad had always been good to me. In fact, they were exceptional parents. They didn’t deserve to be treated the way I treated them.
I remember at four years old I would watch my mother getting ready before a date night with Dad. The babysitter would be waiting impatiently downstairs but I didn’t care. I loved watching Mom.
She would get me to brush her long blonde hair one hundred times until it shone in the light of the moon. I would count one, two, three – slowly, careful to annunciate every number just right. Meanwhile she would primp herself and apply her makeup. Mom was the most beautiful person I had ever met in my life. I think it was because she didn’t exactly know it. It was a simple, unrecognized beauty and I longed for that.
When I was ten, Dad would always sneak me out of the house when Mom wasn’t paying attention. He would smuggle me and take me to R-rated movies. We would eat way too much popcorn and end up crawling back to the front doorstep with our bellies full of popcorn and minds saturated with gory films. Mother’s intuition never failed, that or we were terrible liars. Either way, Mom always caught us and we would each get sent to our rooms.
The clouds hung heavy overhead casting darkness through the cemetery. For an instant, I could have sworn I felt a hand on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” My voice was in a low whisper. I tucked my hands in my pockets, peeling myself away from being a daughter. Fighting back the tears, I got to my feet and kissed my parents goodbye.
***
It had been a sunny November weekend when Mom and Dad hopped on their motorcycle with intention of grabbing some ice cream. The driver of the Cadillac was scolding his children in the back seat when the collision occurred.
Killed instantly. No suffering. Those were the phrases Lieutenant Hooper chanted in my ear. The words clung to my memory and like a bad gum commercial, I played them over and over again in my head.
For the first time, it saddened me that my entire life fit into one bag. I held it tight between my knees not willing to let it out of my sight.
Impatiently, I waited in the stale, crowded station. Fifteen minutes remained before I would be called to the portal room. These were my last few minutes I would spend on Earth.
Around me, women sat with their eager children shushing them and telling them they would see their daddies soon enough.
Ever since the portal rooms had opened to the public two hundred years ago, people flocked to the idea of experiencing life outside of Earth. Right away, men took advantage to find work on neighboring planets. The demand for iron was rapidly growing and resources were becoming slim on Earth. With portal access, many men left home with hopes of finding work on Mercury.
Over time, people viewed portals as a comfortable means of travel. Popular tourist destinations such as France and Italy had become mundane. The thrill of space tore many people away from Earth. Most were reluctant to return so the population began to dwindle on Earth.
These are the reasons I took to travelling. I could find solace and peace standing in front of sites, such as Stonehenge or the Eiffel Tower, which would traditionally be overcrowded with tourists. Now, they remained abandoned and forgotten. With the population using space travel, I was able to experience life on Earth to its fullest.
“Ms. Kate Alley to Neptune.” Droned over the loudspeaker.
I took a moment to catch my breath. With my time on Earth expired, I looked around. My last glimpse of Earth contained a homeless woman peddling at my feet and a teenage kicking a vending machine in hopes of scoring free chocolate. This sight only fueled my desire to leave this life behind.
With my back over my shoulder, I approached the agent desk.
“Ticket.” The woman demanded flatly.
I placed my ticket on the counter and slid it toward her.
“Identification.”
I placed my thumb on the scanner in front of me and watched as my entire life’s profile appeared on the screen in front of the agent.
She coughed and typed furiously on the keyboard in front of her. Between the permanent scowl on her face and her hair pulled back so tightly in a bun, I thought her face must hurt. I flinched envisioning her pain.
“One way portal entry from Earth to Neptune. How long is your projected stay?” Her voice was flat, monotone.
“Undecided.”
She hammered on the keyboard again. “Do you require an immigration application?”
“No thank you.” I had no idea how long I would be staying in Neptune. I only picked it because it was the furthest planet from Earth. Once I got there, I had no plan or idea what I would do next.
“Take this.” She handed me a thin plastic key. “Follow the directions when you enter the room. Door twelve. Enjoy your stay.” I wondered how many times she rehearsed this phrase to make it sound so hollow.
The hallway had an eerie glow. The fluorescents danced off the shiny plaster floor and made me feel inebriated. I stumbled along until I saw the number twelve painted on the outside of a small door. My key slid effortlessly into the lock.
I had never been inside of a portal room and I wasn’t sure what to expect. Would there be a gaping hole in the wall that I would have to jump into? Would there be a chair that would strap me in and transport me through space? My mind raced. I exhaled and turned the key.
The room was dark. I unsuccessfully fumbled along the wall for a light switch. I gave up and took a step forward. As if activated by my motion, in the center of the room, a bright blue light illuminated and poured through the small room. The light was coming from a tall glass device. I studied it closely taking note that there were no buttons or handle. How was I supposed to get in there?
Hanging on the wall I noticed a short list of instructions:
Place key in scanner below.
Place palm against glass panel to verify your identity.
Step inside portal.
Within ten seconds you will be transported to your destination.
I placed my key in the scanner and placed my palm against the glass. A door appeared showing my identity had been processed and accepted. I took a step forward and the door closed behind me. Being inside of the portal, it reminded me of a stand-up tanning bed.
A countdown started down from ten. My heart rate accelerated and my nerves stood on edge.
I closed my eyes.
Three,
Two,
One.
Fully expecting some sort of vicious thrashing as my body was shot across the galaxy, my eyes remained closed. But nothing was happening. Maybe the portal was broken?
I opened my eyes. I was no longer in the portal room. Around me there were traditional surfaced rock buildings and Neptunians scurrying about. Only recently had portal travel opened between Earth and Neptune so it was teeming with Earth tourists. I was beginning to wonder if I made the right choice.
Almost one hundred years had passed since scientists on Earth had discovered how to process molten rock. They called the process, surfacing. If it weren’t for this discovery, humans would be unable to visit this vast, beautiful planet.
For years Neptunians survived without this discovery. Their skin evolved to the conditions on molten rock. Materials were developed to withstand the element but travel was still out of the question. They were unaware that there may be any other option.
Due to the abundance of methane on the surface of the planet, the Neptunians always had glowing blue eyes. Their skin was similar to mine except much whiter – if that was even possible. They saw very little sun so the people had developed a dome system. The domes would span over highly populated areas and would emit a light similar to that of the sun.
I scanned my surroundings wondering what my next move might be.
I felt a small hand grab mine.
“Do you have any money?” A small boy looked up at me. His eyes were yellow along with his skin and hair. I had never seen anyone with yellow skin before. Every being in the Milky Way Galaxy had variations of peach or brown skin.
His sad eyes stung my heart. I looked around but he had no parents in sight.
I reached for his other hand and bent down to his level. “What is your name?”
“Zat.”
“Hi Zat, my name is Kate. Where are your parents?”
“They’re gone.” He sniffled.
“Where did they go?” I did my best to hold back my own tears.
“I don’t know. We got into our portal and now they are lost.” He fell into my arms.
I have never consoled anyone, let alone a small child. I mimicked what I used to see on old television movies. I started to stroke his head like a dog.
“Where are you from?”
“Moal.” Zat managed to spit out.
“Moal? I have never heard of that before. Is that it in this galaxy?” My heart raced. Was this a discovery of a new planet?
He shook his head.
“How about we get you home?” I offered scooping him up into my arms. I had no idea how I would do this exactly but it just seemed like the right thing to say.
“But I don’t have any money and my portal is out of fuel. It’s useless.” He pulled a long glass tube out of his pocket and started shaking it.
I took it from his hands and studied the device in awe. The hollow glass was smooth and cold. It had metal casing on one end that appeared to twist off allowing for fuel access.
“What kind of fuel does it take?” I was equally concerned to get the boy home and intrigued where this might take me.
“Dihydrogen monoxide.” He muttered.
“What did you say?”
“Dihydrogen monoxide. But no one has any so there is no point.” He snatched the portal out of my hands.
Dihydrogen monoxide. I played the words over in my head trying to work out the chemical compound. “Dihydrogen monoxide.” I repeated. And then it clicked. “The portal uses water as fuel?” I beamed.
“What is water?” He asked.
“It is two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen. Dihydrogen monoxide. The chemical compound of water! I have an idea, Zat!” I ran off with the child clinging onto me.
As expected, a vending machine full of water stood in front of us. I placed my thumb on the scanner. It flashed notifying me the funds were approved and had been withdrawn from my bank account.
“Can I see the portal, Zat?”
He handed it over to me cautiously.
I screwed off the metal cap and placed it under the spout. The machine spit out beautiful, filtered, dihydrogen monoxide. I set him down before securing the cap.
“Are you ready to go home?” I smiled down at the small yellow boy in front of me.
He beamed back up at me. “Ready!”
I handed the device back to him and he scanned his thumb. The glass chamber lit up bright blue, similar to the portal room on Earth.
“Are you coming with me?” Zat reached back for my hand. This child certainly had a way of tugging on my heartstrings.
I nodded. My curiosity of visiting a planet outside of this galaxy aroused my senses.
“Let’s go.”
I placed my hand on the orb beside Zat’s. The device began steadily beeping. Through instinct, I closed my eyes and held on tight.
The beeping stopped. Around me I could hear footsteps slapping against pavement and chatting voices.
Zat laughed. “You can open your eyes now, Kate.”
My jaw dropped. Around me buildings stretched miles into the sky reaching far beyond my sightlines. A rainbow of Moalites scuttled around. Blue, pink, and yellow skinned people walked past me.
I was certainly not home anymore.