Chapter 7
It was too much to absorb and he needed time to come to terms with what she was saying. It took him about 5 minutes before he was able to speak again. He had the ability of compartmentalizing and then letting it all sink in “I’m guessing that your real name is not Kelly. If I were you, I would use something similar, so as not to make the mistake of not answering when you’re called. If I were to guess, I would say that your name was either Sally, or maybe Cali.” A look of recognition from the second name made him nod his head solemnly. “I can’t say that I’m very happy with any of this, but I understand that you were put into a position that was quite difficult. You did your profession proud and I would say that your profession is a psychiatric Dr.” He knew that he should’ve seen the signs, but she was very good at playing the part like that of a consummate actress.
“I never meant to hurt you. I’m mad at myself for letting Commander Grady use me to cripple you. I don’t know for sure, but he sounds like the kind of man that would have all of his ducks in a row. He put me in front of you and obviously thought that a pretty face suffering in the same way that you did would make you break down and lose a step. I don’t think that he was meaning to harm you. He only wants to get you out of the way to make it clear sailing for him to leave and never look back.” Cali was doing what she could to mend the betrayal that Sebastian had obviously felt. “I want more than anything for him to forgive me, but I wouldn’t blame him for walking away. What I did was wrong, but my heart was in the right place. I saw his file and knew from just looking at it that he had a lot to recover from. He was hiding his true feelings and bottling up those memories would fester and become something ugly.”
“I know my commander better than most and what he did doesn’t surprise me. He has always been out for himself and that was never more apparent than how he corrupted Stephen into his web of deceit and lies. You obviously thought that I had demons that need to be excised. Your heart was in the right place and now the only question is where we go from here. I know that I can’t let him get away with this. It would’ve been more prudent for him to keep me out of it, but now he opened up a can of worms.” There was something different between them and that connection that they had before had somewhat severed from what she had done.
“I would ask that you just let him leave, but I’m not sure that you’re willing to do that. Your honor would forbid you from letting him make fools out of every one. His betrayal to the military corps and to you cannot be taken lightly. I don’t think that you’re in any frame of mind to go after him alone. I may not have your training, but I might be able to help you without interfering. I don’t want you to do anything that you’re going to regret later down the road.” Cali took his hands and could feel his reluctance. She had a lot to make up for and by standing with him against Grady was a good first step in the right direction.
“I would normally tell you that I can handle it myself, but I think it would be a good idea to have your around. Your expertise in this field will hopefully help me from wringing his neck. He deserves to be held responsible for what he’s done and not take the coward’s way out by having me kill him. I just know that he’s going to goad me into a fight. He does have a way to push my buttons. That bastard can’t be allowed to do this to anybody else.” Sebastian knew that Commander Grady was leaving, but the damage that he had done was left behind for others to pick up the pieces
“I know that I have no right to ask this, but do you suppose that we still have something or is this strictly something professional now? I won’t blame you for trying to shield your heart, but we’ve come a long way and it would be a shame to ruin all the good work that we’ve done. I did take this assignment to help you, but in the process I learned to love again. I’m not only healing you, but you’re also healing me in ways that you can’t even imagine. I’ve never been more comfortable with a man than when I am with you.” I want to say those three little words, but I’m not sure how he will react. The best that I can do is stand with him and hope to god that he doesn’t lose the ability to see what the difference of what is right or wrong. One look at Grady and he will see more than just a man that needs to be called on the carpet for his actions. All of his problems will manifest and Grady will become the true target for his outrage.”
“I don’t like the idea of you coming along, but it might be a necessary evil. I don’t know what I feel for you anymore. I can’t decide if you’re the one that I’m falling for, or if it’s just the woman that you became to get close to me. It’s hard to differentiate between the woman that I got to know and the woman that I’m looking at right now. There’s one sure fire method to find out for sure.”
Cali looked at him with confusion and could feel this tension in the air like a Damocles sword over her head. He had a grin on his face and his hands on her shoulder made her almost faint from the sheer beauty of the feel of his fingertips on her. She knew that he was proposing a more carnal exploration to find out if their feelings were true or nothing more than the façade that they had put on. “If that’s the only way, then I guess I can take one for the team. Where do you suppose that we should go to make good use of this experiment?” “I want him more than life itself, but I can’t be too eager and show all of my cards. He needs to think that this is his idea and primarily it is. I’m hoping that he just doesn’t want to get into my pants. Can I truly believe that we can have something or are we destined to fizzle out like a candle in the night?”
“I don’t see any reason why we should wait. There’s a hotel room down the street that is calling us to the clean and pressed linens on the bed. I think it would be nice to do something romantic and not rush or do anything spontaneous like we did on the beach. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed that immensely, but I have to weigh the possibility that that wasn’t you and only a way to get inside my head.” Sebastian remembered the way that she moaned his name and how her body responded to his touch and the feel of his hard and unyielding cock driving deep inside her body. He felt a true connection, but it was all a lie, so what exactly was he supposed to take from that.
“I don’t want you to do this because of some hardship from the grief that is currently choking you. I can’t be a substitute or some kind of distraction. If this is all that this is, then maybe we should cut ties and walk away before somebody really gets hurt.” Cali had her hands up against his chest to keep him at arm’s length. She didn’t want to risk smelling his scent or looking into his wild and untamed eyes. “I’m giving him his walking papers and whether he takes them or not is what is going to decide what happens next. I don’t want him to think anything less of me. I have to say that I don’t see that sense of disappointment. It’s as if what I did rolled off his back, but how could it when it was something that was psychologically daunting. Anybody else would feel that anger seeping into their being. They would scream and yell and yet he’s staying calm and rational.”
“It’s been a trying few days and I thought that you were the light at the end of the dark tunnel. I feel nothing and I guess I closed myself off to protect myself from this eventuality. It shouldn’t come as any big shock that I didn’t say those three little words to you. I felt them and they were close to spewing out of my mouth, but I just couldn’t do it. I think deep down my conscious was trying to tell me something, but I wasn’t willing to listen. I have this compulsion that is almost like a sickness to be with you. I can’t seem to think of anything else. It was an effort to remove you from being a distraction while I was doing my investigation into Commander Grady.”
“I don’t know what’s going to become of us, but the one thing I do know is that Commander Grady knows you better than you know yourself. He will play on your weakness and the one that I know of is your desire to do what’s right. You have this need to help others and to protect the innocence. He will most likely use that against you and I don’t know how, but he takes me for a man that doesn’t take any chances. He always has an angle and I think I saw that from the moment that I sat down to talk to him about you.” Cali knew that he was still dealing with the loss of his friend and brother that wasn’t blood. “He’s definitely not in the right frame of mind to confront Commander Grady. He may think that he won’t break under pressure, but he’s this close to making a drastic mistake that is going to follow him all the days of his life.
“The one thing that I don’t understand is the reason why you’re telling me this now. You know what I’ve been through and for you to lay this on me is either selfish or something that you thought that I deserved to know. I can’t decide which one it is, but I’m leaning towards the latter. I wish that you had told me this from the beginning, but I don’t think that I would’ve taken you seriously. I’ve never been that comfortable around doctors and head doctors are the worst of them all. I don’t mean to offend or to put your profession down, but I’ve never really found any use in talking about my feelings on a couch with somebody scribbling notes.” Sebastian had only a few hours. The only way this was going to end between him and Grady was to come face to face.
“I think that you have the wrong idea about therapy. There are those from the old school that are exactly what you have described, but I’m not like that. I get into the trenches and I think that is a testament to me as a professional. I took three months off of my busy schedule to help you by learning the ins and outs of military life. I put myself in harm’s way to go into boot camp. That should tell you how dedicated I am to my patients. I saw you as a damaged soul, but you’re also stronger than any man or anybody that I’ve ever met in my life. You don’t break and you don’t give up and I have to say that is very attractive.” “I’m getting through to him and his shock has now abated to more of acceptance. I can only hope that this is a start and not an end for what had started as a full blown passion.”
“I should hate you, Cali. I should want to walk away, but there is something here. I don’t know what’s going to happen with me and Commander Grady. He taught me everything I know, but I doubt that he taught me everything that he knows. He would’ve kept something to himself. He has to have some kind of secret weapon or move that would catch me off guard and in deep trouble. I will need to think not like a soldier. ” Sebastian took her hand and walked down the hallway. “We need to find a room. You may have a different name, but one thing between us hasn’t changed.” Sebastian pointed to his heart and then pointed to hers and it was as if he was daring them to do something about these feelings.
“You know that we’re risking getting caught and more so here than even on the beach in broad daylight. People will be walking back and forth in the hallway at any given time. An outcry of pleasure or moan will obviously bring them to see what’s going on. Are you sure that you can’t wait and you did say something about a hotel room.” Cali could see in his eyes that this moment was upon them. To stall or put it off for even a minute would risk that flame being extinguished. “He did mention a hotel room and I’m more than happy to take him up on that offer. I’m just not sure that he’s thinking with anything more than what’s below his belt. Sex has always been some kind of crutch for him, even though he probably doesn’t even know it himself.”